About a Girl

“Oh, did I mention, when I see you it stings like hell to the fact that we could have something…” –The Academy Is…

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

“Are you going to Sisky’s party later?” William asks, at a rare lunch where we’re all together.

“I’m invited?” Rae feigns surprise. William sighs.

“Don’t be like that, Rae. I said I was sorry,” he answers. She purses her lips and he looks at her, waiting.

“Fine. I’ll go,” she agrees. “I’m sorry,” she adds. He returns a faint smile.

“So…” William begins, after Rae’s left to hang out with her bandmates before they fly back to L.A. in the morning. “What’s going on between you and Rae?”

I groan.

“Mike said he wouldn’t tell you about the-”

“About what?” he asks, confused. “Mike didn’t tell me anything.” I want to groan again.

“Never mind,” I say, feeling my skin already turning a pale pink at the reminder. “I really like her, Bill,” I admit, being honest, but still feeling childish.

“I’m trying to help you out here, Chiz,” he says, but he’s still smiling in a teasing way. “Just ask her. Rae likes guys that are straightforward. It’s that easy. You really think she’d say no?”

“You’d be okay with it?” I ask.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he frowns. I shrug.

I haven’t felt this idiotic and awkward in a long time.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

When we get there, I’m about to offer to get her a drink when Lena catches sight of me and rushes over.

She hugs me and kisses my cheek in greeting and I inwardly cringe; feeling Rae’s eyes on our exchange.

She – Lena, Sisky’s girlfriend’s best friend – talks my ear off for a good long while and I lose track of Rae even though I’m trying to glance over at her as I think of an excuse to end this conversation.

“Do you know what I mean, Michael?” she asks.

I’d gone for drinks with Sisky, his girlfriend, and Lena once, after which she automatically assumed I was in love with her.

I manage to disengage myself from her only to realize I’ve lost Rae.

Lena moves on to talk to the person standing closest: Rae’s bandmate Seb.

“Have you seen Rae?” I ask Mike.

“She was here a little while ago,” he offers, being no help whatsoever.

I see Lena exchanging phone numbers with Seb.

I’d have to tell Rae to warn him.

“Forget it,” I say, hopeless. “It’s not the right time.”

“It’s not as hard as you’re making it,” Mike says in exasperation. “If you want her, go for it. Friends with benefits. No big deal.”

I open my mouth to point out that I don’t want to mess around with her, that I just want to BE with her, when he abruptly gets up to join Suzie across the room.

He leans in close to her ear, whispers something, and within seconds she disengages the conversation she’s having with Jack and follows Mike to a more secluded corner of the apartment.

I roll my eyes as they begin kissing enthusiastically.

I don’t know how he thinks PDA will help my situation in any way.

“They always get like that,” Butcher supplies, rolling his eyes. I exhale and shake my head.

I just want to sleep.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Rae

I’ve spent the greater part of the evening talking to everyone and not spending too much time in one place.

It feels weird for me and I’m sure for others; I haven’t seen many of my Chicago friends since I’ve been home, given the circumstances, and it’s probably weird for them to have me talking to them out of nowhere.

After awhile, I get sick of the awkwardness and stick to Seb’s side after he’s done talking to the girl that kissed Michael – Lena, if I remember at all.

I ignore the small pricks of jealousy in my stomach.

As much as I’ve been lying to myself and avoiding what I’m feeling, I know the more time I spend with Michael, the more I want to know about him, and the more I’m childishly crushing on him.

“You’re leaving already?” I ask, pouting, once my three bandmates pull me aside to say goodbye.

“We’ve got an early flight, Rae,” Jude points out.

“I know, but…” I frown, shrugging. “It’ll be weird if you leave.”

“It’s only weird because you’re making it that way,” Suzie points out, rolling her eyes. “Go chat up Michael.”

“He’s…with…someone,” I state. I think, I add, inwardly. Suzie’s the only one who catches my double meaning, and she gives a sympathetic half-grimace.

“It’s just a month. We’ll see you for the release party in L.A., remember?” Seb reminds me.

“Do you know who you’re bringing yet?” Suzie asks curiously.

“Shit!” I exclaim, bringing my hands to cover my face.

“What?” she asks, startled.

“I was supposed to bring Luke, remember?” I groan. “What am I going to do?”

“I’m sure you’ll find someone…” Jude grins, winking. I roll my eyes. Suzie’s probably informed them both of my not-so-subtle-or-innocent-crush on Michael.

“Are you alright, Rae?” Seb asks.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be fine,” I sigh. “I’ll figure something out.”

Or at least I hope I will.