About a Girl

“Well here I am, don’t know how to say this. The only thing I know is awkward silence.” – Saves the Day

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

I’ve decided that tonight is the night.

I’ll tell her how I feel.

If she doesn’t feel the same, then…fine.

Well, not really fine, but at least I’ll know where we stand.

It’s been a month since my failure to communicate my feelings.

In that month, I’d been working on getting over her altogether; then of course, this opportunity arose:

She’d asked me to come to L.A. with her for the band’s record debut party, since Mike had already agreed to go with Suzie.

So it’s all about tonight.

I walk next to Rae as we follow her bandmates and their dates inside the venue.

“Wait,” she suddenly stops at the entrance. I stop.

“What’s wrong?”

“I…don’t know,” she says, shrugging and shaking her head at herself.

“You don’t need to be nervous,” I try, bravely reaching over to briefly squeeze her hand. “You’ll be great.”

She smiles slightly but doesn’t look completely reassured.

“Okay, let’s go,” she sighs, after a few more seconds, leading the way.

“Rachel!” someone calls as soon as we step inside.

“Hey, Pete!” she exclaims, going to give him a hug. “I haven’t seen you in ages!”

“You look gorgeous, Rae,” he replies, grinning.

I feel a twinge of jealousy, but don’t think much of it, since I’ve been getting that feeling in my stomach every time that any guy’s touched her or even looked at her for longer than a few seconds.

He turns to me to shake my hand in greeting, and my jealousy is forgotten.

“Have you thought about what I said?” he turns back to her to ask.

“Persistent much, Wentz?” she raises her eyebrows.

“Talk some sense into her, would you, Michael?” he asks me enthusiastically.

“What are we talking about?” I ask, confused.

“Pete’s been after us to commit to Decaydance for the next album,” she informs me. “And FBR, too.”

“Why don’t you?” I ask, in the back of my mind thinking if we were on the same label, maybe we’d get to tour together.

“Contract,” she states in a low voice, seeing as the label they’re on now is hosting the party. “We can’t even consider committing to another label until we get offered an extension on our contract. That, or if they decide to drop us if our album bombs.”

“Like that’ll happen,” Pete snorts sarcastically. Rae rolls her eyes. “I only wish I would’ve known about them sooner,” he continues, to me. “Had to figure out for myself she was Bill’s cousin. He never said anything.”

“We didn’t want him to,” Rae proudly interjects. Pete rolls his eyes in exaggeration. She sees and elbows him in the side, to which he laughs in response.

“I’m gonna find a spot in the balcony, then I have to get going right after you’re done,” Pete says, giving her another hug and me another handshake. “I’ll see you on tour,” he adds, to me. “Don’t wanna overstay my welcome with your label,” he grins, turning back to Rae. “They already know I’m after the four of you. Good luck,” he says, before disappearing.

We barely get to sit down for more than ten minutes before they’re whisked away to play a short set on the crowded stage.

“You really like her, don’t you?” Mike scoots closer to ask, while I’m watching her sing.

“I was trying not to,” I inform him distractedly.

“Are you going to tell her?” he asks next.

“I hope so,” I vaguely reply. He leaves me alone after that.

Their set is fairly short then a dj takes over. A number of people crowd them as they leave the stage, and I wait patiently. By the time they get back to the table, she has this amazing smile on her face.

“Do you want to dance?” is the first thing she asks me. She’s in the best mood I’ve seen her in for awhile, and me, I’ll do almost anything she suggests at this point.

I let her take my hands and lead me to the floor, even though I’m not much of a dancer at all. I’m just thinking it’s a chance to get away from everyone so I can tell her.

My hands grip her waist nervously; they feel heavy and clumsy as we dance.

She rests her head against me and I’m sure she can hear my heart pounding insanely, but I don’t even care right at this second.

“Rae, listen, I-” I begin, leaning down to her ear so she can hear me.

She looks up at me, eyes waiting with curiosity, and my throat dries up and my brain melts.

“I…” I try again.

Her eyes flit over my shoulder, distracted for a split second while I try to piece my scrambled thoughts back together. When she looks back at me, her bright eyes are wide with panic.

“Do you want something to drink?” she blurts out nervously, backing away from me. “Are you thirsty? I’m thirsty,” she says, grabbing my hand and frantically pulling me away from the dance floor and through the small crowd.

“Rae,” a voice freezes her and she spins around. The speaker’s voice is bitter and his expression is hard. He’s maybe an inch shorter than me, dark hair falling in his eyes, which he won’t take off Rae.

“Luke,” she states evenly, hiding the nerves from seconds ago. “What are you doing here?”

“Can we talk,” he asks, not stating it as a question.

My grip on Rae’s hand tightens unconsciously, but she notices and turns back to me.

“I’ll be fine. It’ll only take a few minutes,” she tells me quietly, looking apologetic and distracted all at the same time. I nod hesitantly, because I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do. She follows this guy, and I go to the bar.

“Anything strong,” I tell the bartender, who nods and hands me a glass almost immediately.

“Where’d Rae go?” I glance to my left to see that Seb’s joined me. I shrug unhappily.

“Talking to some guy. Luke,” I state, trying to get the bitter taste of disappointment out of my mouth with whatever the bartender gave me.

“What?!” Seb demands sharply. “Did you say Luke?” I glance at him, surprised at his suddenly angry tone. “Shit. Where did they go?” I’m confused and I’m wondering if I shouldn’t have let Rae go, even if he looked harmless enough.

“Towards the entrance,” I reply. “Should I-”

“Wait here,” he says urgently, going back to the table where Jude is sitting. Jude takes the lead as soon as Seb points in the direction I told him. I don’t know where Suzie and Mike are.

I dazedly finish my drink and order another.