Light in the Storm

“You nervous?” Anna asked from behind me, her head coming into view as I looked in the mirror. I took a deep breath.

“No.” This was, of course, followed by a nervous laugh.

“It’s okay to be, you know,” she grinned. “I mean, you are sixteen and this is your wedding day-”

“And you aren’t helping,” Josh piped up suddenly. I turned my head to see him, the curls of my hair swaying with me. Eve insisted on curling my hair, and even though it didn’t take long I thought that we bonded a little. It was like having a second mom; no one could replace my real one, but she was something that I needed, and apparently my dad needed her too.

“Do I look okay?” I wasn’t aware of Josh and Anna’s bickering until I interrupted, both of them quieting and turning to look at me. “I mean-” I started, lifting my hands up to toy with the headband that tied around my head. The front was on my forehead while the back held two long ribbons. Denise had said last night that instead of a veil my mom wore a headband similar to this one. I wasn’t so sure I could pull it off. “I look kinda…”

“Kinda amazing,” a voice continued, making me turn my head just as Josh and Anna did. I couldn’t help but smile and blush.

“Joe, what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to-”

“Be with Nick?” he inquired, chuckling. He withdrew his hands from the pockets of his dress pants before stepping closer to us. “I was, but I couldn’t stand it anymore.” I stared blankly at him for a moment before going back to fussing with the headband.

“Don’t mess it up,” Anna mumbled quickly, but I ignored her and focused on Joe instead.

“Joe, you’re his… best man-” It was strange to say; it gave me butterflies.

“I know, but he’s being all…” he trailed off, tilting his head a little. I waited while fingering the ribbon behind my head.

“Being all what?”

“All fussy.” He scrunched up his face after this, making me raise my eyebrows.

“Fussy?” It was near impossible to imagine Nick… fussy.

“He’s freaking out.”

“Okay, he’s nervous?” My jitters were definitely showing at this moment, what with my shaking hands and all. And my stomach was being eaten alive by raging butterflies.

“I think he’s the epitome of nervous right now,” Joe chuckled breathily, a grin taking over his smooth features.

“It’s good to know Lonnie isn’t the only one going crazy then,” Anna chuckled, getting Josh and Joe to join in. Instead of laughing myself though, I screamed.

“What?!” they shouted in unison.

I sucked in a breath, my voice going high, and said, “I messed it up.” The headband was no longer on my head, but in my hand, and my sanity was long gone. I was a nervous wreck.

“Are you sure you want to go through with a wedding? Just do something private,” Josh muttered, backing away from me while Anna rushed forward and tried to tie the band back around my head. I winced as she jerked my hair back.

“Better not mess up her curls,” Joe piped up. “Eve will freak.”

“Joe,” I heard another familiar voice say. I moved my eyes back to the mirror to see Kevin standing in the doorway, a smile on his lips while he shook his head. “What are you doing in here?”

“I just wanted to see my future sister-in-law,” he shrugged, sending a wink at the mirror so I could see. I smiled.

“Well you can see her later. Nick is-”

“Freaking out, I know,” Joe breathed. He rolled his eyes and let out a sigh. I turned a little, wincing again when Anna’s fingers accidentally tugged on my hair. “Hey dude-” he started, glancing at Josh now, “you might wanna tie your tie.” I locked my eyes on Josh, hoping he wouldn’t say something rude or bitter. He wasn’t exactly fond of the fact that I was getting married to Nick so young, but with Anna being so happy it was hard for him not to show up.

“Thanks,” he mumbled quietly instead. I could relax a little more.

“But really,” Kevin started again, smiling my way. “Eve and Mom are ushering everyone to their seats.”

“What?!” I couldn’t hide the panic in my voice, and even if I could I knew they could see how wide my eyes got. “B-but I’m not even ready…” I motioned at my dress as I said this, running my fingers over the smooth fabric.

“Lonnie, you look amazing! You’re more than ready!” Anna grinned excitedly. “And I fixed your headband, so don’t touch it again.”

I gave her a thankful glance before I turned back around to face the mirror. I was sure I could see my heart thumping against my chest from underneath the thin fabric that covered my upper half, but nothing was out of place. All I had to do was breathe, breathe and walk.

“I’m not exactly sure what to say at a wedding…” Kevin trailed off, giving me a half-smile. I gulped. “But all you have to do is walk out there, and as soon as you see Nick you’ll know that any amount of nerves you’re feeling will be gone before you know it.”

“Thanks, Kevin,” I smiled softly, biting my moist bottom lip. I stared at him for another moment before turning around. I shut my eyes and listened to the sound of the retreating footsteps, realizing I was alone for a moment.

“Okay,” I breathed to myself, “This is okay, this is no big deal.” I bit my lip and continued to stare at myself in the mirror. The panic only came faster the longer I stared at myself in this dress. “Okay, it’s not okay!” I hissed, shaking my head furiously, allowing the curls to gently tap my face. I tried to calm myself down by making myself focus on how Nick would look; I knew for a fact he was going to be beautiful, even if I hadn’t already seen it.

“It is okay, kiddo,” I heard Dad chuckle. Instead of glancing at him through the mirror I spun around, smiling at him. His eyes danced over me for a moment and I swore I saw his eyes glaze over. “You look beautiful, Lonnie. Just like your mother.”

“Dad...” I shook my head at him and let my shoulders slump a little. He was only adding to the list of things that were going to make me cry today.

“Listen, honey,” he started as he slowly moved forward, allowing the door to shut gently behind him. I watched as he awkwardly moved closer, his hands in his pockets. He looked handsome. His hair was pushed back neatly, his suit fitting his thin body perfectly -- probably the doings of Eve. And he wasn’t even wearing his glasses, making his bright eyes look even warmer. “Here, umm-” he mumbled, motioning toward the bench close by. I watched him for another moment before taking a seat next to him. “We have to be out there in a minute, but I just though we’d talk first…”

“About what, Dad?” he could tell by my voice how nervous I really was for today. I knew it was natural, it was my wedding day, but Kevin’s words came back to my mind and I slowly began to relax. I knew that my nerves would dissolve as soon as I was standing with Nick.

“About marriage.” I gave him a look of confusion. He laughed lightly. “You and Nick are getting married today, in a matter of minutes, actually. And you guys are so young. Trust me when I say that you two won’t fully understand that you’re in a real commitment right away. You’ll still feel like you’re just dating, which is probably a good thing. You two are both still growing and you have a lot going on, but I know that being together means the world to both of you…” He paused for a moment, his eyes flickering down to his hands, the wedding band he still wore. He gave me a sad smile.

“Your mom and I were like that,” he whispered, “and let me tell you… it’s the best thing you could feel. I can see the way Nick makes you feel; he makes you feel special and important, and he makes you happy. And most importantly, he makes you feel loved. That’s all your mother and I ever wanted you to have when you grew up. Sure, I didn’t think you’d be getting married at sixteen, but the man you’re getting married to is very special.” I was smiling widely now. “And I can also see the way you make him feel.” He smiled back at me. Slowly reaching his hand forward he placed it on top of mine, the emotions in the air almost getting to be too much. “You two are going to grow into this marriage. You’re going to argue and get angry, and maybe you’ll send him to the dog house every once in a while--” I couldn’t help but laugh at this, because I actually could send him to a real doghouse, “but the time you spend together, happy and in love, is what really matters, and that’ll outweigh anything.”

He took a moment just to look at me, his eyes loving, fatherly. Then he leaned forward suddenly and pulled me into a hug, a shaky breath escaping him just as one fell from me. “I want you to know, even if it doesn’t matter much, that Nick is the only reason I’m letting my baby get married. If it weren’t him then I’d make you wait. I don’t care what those rules say.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, able to push my tears back until at least after I said ‘I do.’ I squeezed him a little tighter. “Thank you, Daddy. I love you.”

He pulled back and gave me his smile, his chest heaving from his sigh. “Now,” he sniffled as he stood and held his hand out for me, “it’s time.”

My eyes focused on his outstretched hand and I held my breath, slid my hand into his. He waited for me to gather my dress with my other hand before gently pulling me to my feet, and then he linked his arm with mine.

“It’s time,” Eve said, her voice soft and her eyes shining. Her head was peeked through the door, along with one hand, and she held out my bouquet.

I took one last look at my father before reaching for the small bouquet, my hand slightly shaking. He pulled me closer to him and took the first step forward when Eve opened the door a little wider. I peered through to see the small entryway of the little red cottage I was currently in, my eyes scanning over the light colored walls. There was a staircase close to the small room I was in now, and on the other side of the staircase was what I saw to be some type of living room. Eve had told us that everyone would leave when it was time and that we would have something of a honeymoon here. It was on a beach and it was beautiful, so of course I didn’t mind. But the reality of everything made me even more nervous.

I watched Eve glide towards the open glass doors with ease, disappearing behind the pale yellow curtain that hung down. I could see figures through the sheer fabric, but nothing was clear. I heard a faint voice then, and I knew it really was time. I prayed I didn’t trip on my way out.

“Everyone,” Eve said, “I think we all know that today is a very special day. We are all here to witness something beautiful. Today is a day that all of our kinds will get along.” I felt my lips twitch up into a small smile as I waited with Dad behind the curtain, holding my breath. “Paul,” her voice rang happily, “please bring Nicholas out.” I could feel the butterflies wake up in my stomach at just the thought of how close I was to seeing Nick. Any minute now…

I could see heads turn to the right, and in a few moments I saw two figures step closer to Eve. I knew Nick was the one lagging behind, his head turned away from the crowds of people. Was he shy? Maybe he really was just as nervous as me. Or… or maybe he thought this was a mistake. I gulped.

“I would like to say that today will mark two events,” Mr. Jonas said clearly. “Today we will witness the wedding of my Nicholas and Lonnie, but also the marking of the new Great Witch and Wolf.”

A sudden yell of “yeah!” broke the silence, a few chuckles following. I didn’t know for sure who it was, but I had a feeling it was Russell.

“Ready, kiddo?”

I expected myself to say something like ‘sure’ and for the tears and nerves to come back. But I surprised myself again, something I seemed to be doing ever since Nick came along. “Yes,” I said clearly, clearing my throat and lifting my head a little higher. Dad looked over at me with that proud look in his eyes, and I couldn’t help but smile at him. I could see my mother’s happiness through his eyes, and I knew she was with me.

A heavy sigh floated from between my lips before I heard a faint sound of music in the background. It was there, but it wasn’t loud enough to drown out all my nerves completely. I could see Nick’s outline through the curtain and once again I wondered how he felt about today. Maybe he didn’t-

No. No, stop. I told myself to stop and I shut my eyes tight for a moment to clear my head. Stop doubting it. Nick loves me, I told myself. Out of all the unpredictable things that my world carried, I knew one thing was for sure, and that was Nick’s love for me. He protected me, he stayed by my side, and he would have given his life for me. That’s all there was to it. He loved me and I loved him, and this was it.

I could feel my lips twitching into a smile, but I quickly pulled my bottom lip with my teeth as the curtain was slowly pulled away. I was met with stares, then. Countless stares, but I knew every one of them. There was Agatha and Atchison; Denise and Paul; Joe and Kevin and Frankie; Ryan and Russell. There was everyone. I could feel everything in me tighten, so I told myself just to breathe, and as my eyes continued to trail over all the people -- all their smiling faces -- my body seemed to melt when my eyes locked on my most favorite sight in the world: Nick.

He stood on the small platform that rested in the sand, his hands clasped so tightly together that his knuckles were white. The corner of my mouth twitched up at the sight, and then the other corner followed when I saw Joe punch Nick in the shoulder, making his upper half sway a little, but he paid his brother no attention. He kept his wide, innocent eyes on me instead, allowing me to see them glow. I knew almost everyone could see how bright I was glowing, but the way that Nick’s eyes glowed back made it so much easier to forget… everything. I could forget about the first time that he started to change my life, the first time he hurt me, the first time he was hurt for me. I could forget all the bad that we had been through and finally focus on the good; our first kiss - or kisses, depending on whether I was conscience or not, the first time he opened up, the first time he loved me.

He was looking at me in such a way, his eyes showing everything but nothing at the same time, that it just made me want to laugh and cry. We were here. This was it. And as I slowly walked across the small pathway with my father’s arm linked with mine, my dress trailing behind me, I knew I was finally moments away from having the one thing that I had worked for. This moment was the one thing I had lived for, and that was true.

I could still feel everyone’s eyes on me, but none of it mattered. This was just like my dream because the only thing I was able to focus on was Nick, and for once I didn’t care about how hot my face was. I didn’t care that I could possibly trip because I wasn’t watching my feet like I usually did. I didn’t care that maybe I had reached the platform and that I tried to keep walking and how a few light laughs erupted, making me blush even more. I did care, however, when I saw a smile twitch over Nick’s lips while he continued to stare at me.

I saw Joe nudge Nick again, but this time it had a purpose. Nick’s eyes widened and he immediately let his hands unclasp, allowing the color to fade back into them as he took a slow step forward and reached his hand out for me. His eyes met my father’s for a moment, and they seemed to speak with their eyes, nodding at the same time. My dad gently took my bouquet away from me then, and he let my arm go. I realized at that moment that I was shaking, and Nick realized it to when his hand reached mine, the warmth immediately electrifying me. I was even more surprised to find that he was shaking, too, though it was minimal.

Nick Jonas was nervous. Nick Jonas was nervous because we were getting married.

I had to suppress my inner teen to stop myself from squealing.

I could see Eve appear and take my father’s hand, slowly leading him to the seats right up front. I smiled a little and glanced back up at Nick. He pushed his fingers through mine and pressed our palms flat against it each other, leading me back to where he was standing before. Anna was next to me now, and Joe next to Nick, but it still felt as if we were alone; just the two of us staring at each other like idiots - or, at least I know that’s how I looked.

“We’re all here today,” I heard Mr. Jonas start from beside us, his soft voice surprising me because I wasn’t even aware that he was there, “because today we are joining two souls. And these two souls, Nicholas and Lilliani, were bound together from the very beginning.” I heard a little sniffle from the side and I glanced over, smiling a little when I saw that both my father and Nick’s mother were already crying. But when I turned back to Nick, and our eyes met again, I just couldn’t keep my smile back any longer. “Today we are making that official.”

It sounded so foreign to me, the words Mr. Jonas was speaking. It seemed so unreal, but yet it seemed so right.

Nick swallowed and shifted himself just barely, allowing his tongue to slip past to slide over his bottom lip with nerves. I didn’t know who’s palm was sweating, but I was pretty sure it was mine.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said suddenly, practically blurting it out in one of the most earnest tones I had ever heard. He didn’t realize that, even though he had whispered, people had heard, and that he had also just completely interrupted his father. A few people laughed - including Mr. Jonas - and Nick looked down for a moment, his face rising with a gentle pink color that I had barely ever seen. It was a rare occasion; this was a very rare occasion.

“I suppose Nicholas would like to speak now, then,” Mr. Jonas chuckled again, and I couldn’t help but giggle myself as Nick’s shoulders slumped some. But he was quick to straighten up and glance over at his father to make sure that it was actually his time to speak. I suddenly wondered if he knew what he was going to say. Had he rehearsed it over and over again, constantly changing things because he was such the perfectionist and he just didn’t know how to express his feelings? Or was he completely unaware and unprepared like myself? I guessed the first one was more appropriate.

“Well,” he said in a low, shaky voice. He cleared his throat and squeezed my hand a little tighter, letting his head hang for a moment as he reached out for my other. It fit in his so perfectly, his touch just making me melt, numbing me beyond anything. “There’s a lot for me to say, but I don’t know how to say it. And I know that the words won’t come in the way I had hoped for them to today, but they’ll probably be hiding until we leave and then I’ll wish I said something completely different…” A few more laughs sounded, including a breathy one from Nick. “Kind of like right now,” he added, and then the laughs got momentarily louder. But when they died down he was right back to business, right back to Nick.

“But I know that, no matter how many times I try to practice my words - this speech - I know that it’ll never be right, because there are no words or sentences that could possibly come close to anything I’ve felt.” Everyone was silent again, making it even easier to hear the constant increasing beat of my heart. It didn’t help that Nick’s intense chocolate orbs were focused solely on me, burning into me with depths of emotion that he had very rarely ever let me see. But this was different now, because this was us. “When I met you,” he breathed, and everything seemed to stop because he was only talking to me now; it was only me that mattered. “When I met you I didn’t know what to think. It was all about the job for me, about getting you and getting home.

“I was told to protect you, and that’s all I thought I knew how to do, but you showed me otherwise. Lonnie, you showed me how to feel when I didn’t know how. You showed me how to live when I thought I was living the only life I could. But, most importantly… Lilliani Stewart, you showed me how to love. You showed me that it was okay to be confused and afraid and completely lost, and you showed me it was okay to feel that way because there was always a way to fix it. We can cry and hurt, but no matter how much something hurts there will always be a way to fix it, and you showed me how.

“I didn’t know how to treat you, but I think I did something right because I got you to fall for me,” he breathed again, a rare toothy smile covering his trying-to-be-calm features, and I gave him a smile in return. A big smile. “There it is,” he whispered. He gave my hand a little squeeze as he tilted his head, his lips parting. “You’re eyes are shining. I remember that… it’s one of the best things about you; it shows you’re genuine.” I remembered him saying something so similar before; and I let out a ragged breath. “And when you cry, Lonnie… when you cry and when you hurt, I can feel it. I can feel it just like it’s happening to me, and I want to fix it. I’ll always want to fix it.

“You fixed me so many times, picked me up and put all the little pieces back together, the ones that I swore no one could ever match up. But it’s you - you match with me. You fit in my arms, your hands fit with mine, and even your lips fit with mine, and it scares me.” His words were seeming to come out in shorter breaths now, desperately trying to hold themselves together so he could, too. But I didn’t really care if I started crying. I didn’t need to care. “And when you touch me, the whole world stops. And when you smile I know there isn’t anything quite like it. There is no one in this world that is quite like you, Lilliani Stewart. There is no one in this world that could even come close to you, and that amazes me. But… you wanna know what amazes me even more?”

He paused now, his eyes searching mine frantically, waiting for me with an eagerness that made all those butterflies fight to get out because he was being so incredibly perfect. And even though I found it almost impossible to speak while staring into his eyes, I mouthed the word that would allow him to continue: what?

“How much a man can love a woman; how much I can love you, that’s what amazes me. I’ve always been able to say what I wanted to say, to hold myself in a way that never showed any weakness, but you, Lonnie; you are my weakness. You’re the only thing that could ever hurt me. But you’re also the only thing that could ever keep me whole.”

I could feel a tear slip down my cheek, but it didn’t make much difference. There was a fire in Nick’s eyes and I couldn’t stop smiling at him. I wouldn’t stop.

It took me a moment to realize that he was done now; his perfect speech had ended, leaving me breathless and emotional, and any other feeling that I just couldn’t describe. My eyes darted to the crowd and then over to Mr. Jonas, my mouth unwilling to open.

“It’s just you and me,” he whispered, his eyes practically begging me to say something.

I opened my mouth, but still no words came out. He licked his lips again, obviously growing a little antsy. He didn’t like this kind of silence, the kind that followed after he just poured his heart out. So I pushed back those butterflies and ignoring the drumming of my heart. Was it normal to have stage fright at your own wedding? Oh god.

I mustered up enough strength to say the first thing that came to mind.

“I love you,” I blurted out, my voice cracking. It sounded like I was desperate for air, or begging for him to just kiss me already; maybe it was both. His lips turned up into a smile - part of it being from relief - but then it slowly twisted into a smirk when I recognized a few laughs, making me blush even harder.

“I have no clue what to say to you,” I breathed honestly, glancing down at our connected hands. “I mean, there are so many things I could say, but I don’t know if they’ll make sense.”

“Lonnie, you hardly ever make sense,” he breathed, his breath slowly fanning across my nose. I let out an almost silent laugh, glancing down at my feet, but they were covered by the white dress. So I looked at Nick’s instead, and though it was weird to see him wearing something other than his worn converse, it made me smile a little more.

“You probably already know that-that most girls always dream of a prince to sweep them off their feet. That we sort of always want a Prince Charming that’ll kiss us and take us off into the sunset. You were sort of far from that when I first met you-” This got a loud laugh from Joe, but he quickly composed himself. I even saw Nick’s lips twitch a little. “B-but… but even though my mom told me stories about Princes when I was little, I was so much more interested in all the other stories she told. The stories I wanted to hear were about this world, the one I’m apart of now. She’d tell me that their was this man that could turn into a wolf, and that, one day, there would be the man’s son that could turn into the wolf. She said his eyes would be gold. She said that - since I so badly wanted to be a witch - I would glow gold.

“She taught me about true love. She showed me it with the way she was with my father, and she was always ready to tell me about how young they were when they met, how she knew he was the one. It wasn’t right away, though. It wasn’t love-at-first-sight, but somehow she knew.

“Somehow I knew, Nick. Somehow I knew that I had to get to know you, because if I didn’t then I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night. I dreamt about you before you even came. And then, when things started to piece together, somehow I fell for you. I fell in love with you like I always hoped I would, and then you became this perfect prince. I didn’t care how angry you got at me, or how annoying I might have seemed. I didn’t care that I wanted to be around you all the time and it scared me. I still don’t care; I don’t care about all the fights we’ll get in or all the moments we have where things just don’t seem right. I don’t care because I know this is real - us. We’re supposed to be together.” It made it even harder to speak when I realized that his eyes were becoming even shinier, holding tears that he was able to will back.

“We’re supposed to be together,” I repeated, smiling even brighter. “And I wouldn’t have it - I wouldn’t have you - any other way. I love you so much, Nick. And I will do anything to keep you by my side. Because we’re soul mates, remember?” I giggled, realizing how many times I had reminded him of that before. “And besides, you’re kind of like the puppy I always wanted.” It was all of us that laughed this time, allowing me a great sigh of relief, but the tightening in my stomach only started up again once my eyes found Nick’s, pulling me back in. “You and all your beauty marks.” My voice was a mere whisper, his smile a ghost of one. When I put my hand up to his face, tracing my fingers over the smoothness of his cheek, he allowed his eyes to close and his lips to part, and I wanted nothing more than to just stay in this moment with him.

“I love you,” I whispered. His eyes slowly opened then, and I almost gasped as I saw that golden light flash before me. “You’re so… special, and you’re beautiful, and you’re mine. And I know that, no matter what happens, I’ll always be happy to know that I’m your wife.”

“I love you,” he whispered; it was almost inaudible and his words seemed mixed together, but it was nothing less than what I needed. It was so much more.

Our gaze was interrupted by someone blowing their nose, and both of us turned to see Russell with a tissue, his cheeks flushed. He bobbed his head up and down, his shaggy hair flailing - along with his hand - silently telling us to keep going. But not before I saw Ryan pat his back and offer us a smile.

These people… I was apart of this now. It was incredible.

“Joseph, Anna,” Mr. Jonas spoke lowly. “The rings.” My heart leapt at the sudden realization. We were there. The rings. We were going to be married.

Anna stepped forward first, sniffling a little, but she knew to wait until Joe stepped forward. He did then, the ring looking so dainty as it sat in the small open box, waiting for Nick to grab it. He tore his gaze away from me and reached for it as carefully as he could, almost weighing it in his hand for a moment. He stared at the small gold object, and then he stared at me; my breath was caught.

“Place the ring on her finger,” Mr. Jonas spoke, but Nick was already grabbing my hand before he could even finish. He was shaking again, and his hands were warm - just like they always were. He tilted his head down but glanced up at me through his eyelashes, his eyes asking for permission to go forward. I could only smile and blush. He took a deep breath and held the ring to my finger, racking his brain for the words that we had actually learned. I was lucky to remember these.

“I, Nicholas Jonas, take you, Lilliani Stewart, to be my best friend, my lover, maybe someday a mother-” his cheeks tinted again as he said this, and I could see Eve rolling her eyes because we had talked about that long ago; he was just so stubborn. “-of my children, and my wife. I will be yours in times of plenty and want, in sickness and in health. In times of joy and sorrow, and in times of failure and triumph. I promise to cherish and respect you, to care and protect you, and to comfort, encourage, and stay with you for all of eternity.” The tears were gaining to be more persistent now as I felt his hand curl around mine, slowly pressing the cool object onto my finger, already becoming a new part of me that I would keep forever. “I love you.”

I inhaled and exhaled deeply, and reached my hand out blindly for the ring, unable to look away from such a beauty as Nicholas. Anna pushed the box up to me and I grabbed the ring, gripping it tightly for a moment. I held his hand this time and, even though it didn’t feel much different, it was.

“I, Lilliani Stewart, take you, Nicholas Jonas, to be my husband, my constant friend, my faithful companion, and the love of my life. I will cherish you and love you more each day than I did before. I will trust and respect you, laugh and cry with you, and yes - I will someday have your little puppies.” I knew that maybe wasn’t something my father wanted to hear, but I knew he had to be laughing like everyone else. Except Nick - he was blushing, his smile returning for a moment before I continued on. “I will love you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my life from this day forward, as long as we both shall live.” I slid the ring onto his finger just as he had done to me, and he stared down at it for a moment, blinking.

“Do you, Nicholas, take Lilliani to be your wife?” Mr. Jonas almost whispered. I was shaking now. He could still say no. He could realize how much of a mistake he’s making and decide-

“I do,” Nick whispered, and he was so earnest again, his eyes so emotional and truthful. I smiled at him; I smiled because all I had to do was say “I do” and he would be my husband. I was sixteen, and he was eighteen, but none of it mattered. We were young, but we were in love; real love.

“Do you, Lilliani, take Nicholas to be your husband?” he then said to me. I didn’t know if I could say it fast enough.

“I do.”

“May you two find happiness and love as soul mates and as husband and wife. I now pronounce you Nicholas and Lilliani Jonas - the Great Wolf and Great Witch,” he said a little louder this time. I watched him put his hand on Nick’s shoulder, his eyes leaving mine for a moment to meet his father’s. “You may kiss the bride, son.” He looked at him for another moment longer before he smiled.

His eyes danced over my face, meeting mine repeatedly, telling me everything he was feeling in a heap of emotions that I still somehow understood. His eyes hit my lips, my own already on his, and then he leaned forward. His hand left mine and settled on my cheek instead, slowly stroking it with his thumb before he cupped it, pulling me forward. He smashed his lips to mine then, throwing me off guard with the roughness that he hadn’t used since our first kisses. His hand slid off my cheek and down to my neck as his lips worked against mine, and I kissed him back eagerly, throwing my arms around his neck, completely forgetting about everyone around us when he held onto my waist tightly.

There was an eruption of cheers and we immediately broke apart, both of our faces burning, but Nick’s eye hypnotized me, making me forget everything again. He made me feel so warm and safe. He made me feel like I was melted, just a little pool at his feet. He held me to his chest and leant his face forward, capturing my lips in a short-lived, yet fiery, kiss. He reopened his eyes to meet mine again, and I found that his lips were pressed on my own for a third time, this kiss being softer. He was slowly moving us in our spot, rocking me from side to side in a comforting way as he kissed me, and I giggled.

“We made it,” he breathed while he pressed his lips to my cheek.

“We made it.”

____________________________________________________________

“Are you saying you’ve never danced before?” I giggled, gripping his hand a little tighter. All my nerves were dissolved, vanished now that Nick and I were married. There was no more worry, no more wait; there was just us… always.

“Well,” he started, a heavy sigh falling from his plump lips as he looked down at me. “Have you?”

“Once,” I nodded, giggling again. We were standing farther into the ‘yard’ of the red cottage, the ocean just feet away. It was so beautiful here, and I looked forward to spending a few weeks here with just Nick. “It was a father-daughter dance, though.” He nodded his head, a few curls bouncing, and stood up at the clear blue sky. Clear. Lucas was really gone for good. And Jeremy, well… I didn’t even want to think about what happened the last time I saw him.

“I guess you could… show me,” he hesitated, practically grunting it out. I grinned.

“Are you saying that I get to teach Nick Jonas something?”

“We don’t have to dance, you know-” But I quickly cut him off by wrapping my arms around his neck, biting my lip as the music started. He smirked. I opened my mouth to speak, but he shushed me with a gentle kiss, leaving his lips against mine as he pulled me closer to him. I began to move us in a circle while he allowed me to lead for the moment. Slow dancing wasn’t hard, I knew Nick knew that, but he was allowing me to show him something for once.

I smiled a little against his lips. My body slumped and I sighed with contentment once his lips started to work against mine again while the music filled my ears.

“You’re so beautiful, Lonnie,” he murmured against my lips, holding me close while we continued to move. “When I saw you-I just, I couldn’t…”

“Wow; Nick Jonas is speechless again,” I giggled, pulling my head back for a moment. “I’m beginning to like this.”

“Don’t get used to it,” he said lowly, a smirk slowly covering his lips while he looked down at me. His eyes glanced at the band on my forehead though suddenly, and he allowed his fingers to run over it. “I like this,” he muttered with approval, his eyes darting back down to meet mine.

“You better. I almost cried when I messed it up.”

“Why would you cry over that?” he chuckled, raising his eyebrows while I blushed… again. I thought I had stopped doing that so much, but apparently not.

“Because I wanted to look perfect for you.”

He stared at me with furrowed eyebrows for what seemed like hours, slowly shaking his head back and forth. “You’ll never understand how I see you,” he breathed.

“You won’t understand how I see you, either.”

He pressed his forehead against mine and slid his arms around my waist a little tighter, creating new butterflies.

The song slowly faded out and we stopped moving, but his arms didn’t drop for quite some time, keeping his forehead against mine. He stared at me so intensely that I thought maybe he was trying to see something in me, but he never said. He just watched - observed, because he was so good at that.

“I have something…” he whispered suddenly, his face tightening some. “I have something I want to show you.” I gave him a slow nod and stepped back, thankful when he clasped our hands back together, slowly leading me back to the crowd of people. They acknowledged us, and he them, but he just kept moving forward.

We reached the curtains that I had came out of and he pushed through, slowly pulling me in. He kept his pace even enough for me not to trip, but fast enough to show he had a purpose. I didn’t really get a chance to look around as he pulled me toward the other side of the staircase, my eyes only able to focus on parts of the small kitchen and the spacey living room. There was a case on the loveseat - a guitar case.

He pulled me over to it and allowed me to stand in front of him, wrapping his arms around my body so he could push the case open. My eyes settled on a worn looking guitar, but it looked like it was well cared for; I knew it had to be Nick’s. He had never showed it to me before, and he rarely ever spoke of music except for the time he had said he would pursue it if he could. But this moment was special and I could tell he had something planned.

Once he had the neck of the guitar in his grasp, his hand met mine again and he began to drag me out of the sliding door only a few feet away from the loveseat. I kicked my heels off before we stepped onto the sand, not caring that I was instantly shorter; Nick did the same with his shoes, stepping into the sand with his black socks. I had to smile. But once again he led me with purpose, not stopping until the crowd was far away from us and all we could hear were the soft noises of the ocean. He plopped himself down onto the sand, easily removing his jacket and laying it down in front of him before I could move. I looked down at it and then over at him, his hand waiting for me. I couldn’t believe how he could be such a gentleman without even trying.

After he helped me sit down on his jacket, even though I began to argue, he held the guitar in his lap and cleared his throat, slowly - nervously - glancing up at me. He heaved a breath.

“I wrote you a song,” his soft voice allowed, his lips pursing as soon as the words were said. I stared at him in shock.

“You-you wrote me an actual song?”

He nodded. He gripped the guitar tightly and took a deep breath, his eyes scanning the sand in front of us before he glanced up at me.

“We’re both in this together
Though I wanted to go it alone
I didn’t want you to fix me
But you wouldn’t let me go

I didn’t mean to look at you
But you meant to catch my eye
We’re both in this together
And I’m frightened that I’d like to try

I never knew you could make me feel
Like I couldn’t breathe, this feeling is crazy
It scares me to death and I know that I can’t hide

I won’t keep running, you got under my skin
You know what you want, and you know when you want it
I didn’t know why, but I feel it for the first time
You fixed me when I didn’t know I was broken
You give me light, fill my heart with explosions
The look in your eyes makes me want to fly
I know I’m in love tonight

I kissed you for the first time
And I didn’t know what to expect
But baby, when you opened your eyes
I knew I was long gone then

I never meant to hurt you
Baby, I’d give you anything
Did you know you make me nervous
Just by calling out my name?

I never knew you could make me feel
Like I couldn’t breathe, this feeling is crazy
It scares me to death and I know that I can’t hide
I don’t wanna hide

I won’t keep running, you got under my skin
You know what you want, and you know when you want it
I didn’t know why, but I feel it for the first time
You fixed me when I didn’t know I was broken
You give me light, fill my heart with explosions
The look in your eyes makes me want to fly
And I know I’m love tonight

You’ve got those eyes that I can see through
A smile that shines so bright
I wake up every morning
Just to fall asleep with you every night

I won’t have to keep running, you gave my heart a home
Baby, I know what and when I want it
And I know that you’re my love

I never knew you could make me feel
Like I couldn’t breathe, this feeling is crazy
It scares me to death, but I know I don’t wanna hide

I won’t keep running, you got under my skin
We know what we want, and we know when we want it
I think I know why I feel it for the first time
You fixed me when I didn’t know I was broken
You give me light, fill my heart with explosions
The look in your eyes makes me want to fly
And I know I’m in love tonight

We’re both in this together
In love for the rest of our lives”

I knew I had possibly felt every single emotion in the universe, but hearing a song - one that Nick wrote for me, one with so much meaning - and hearing him actually sing it after he kept his love for music hidden… it was actually indescribable. It felt like all I did was stare at him lately, either with tears in my eyes or, a smile on my lips. But it felt like that’s all I could ever do, because he amazed me.

“You wrote that for me?” I breathed slowly, allowing my eyes to trace every feature on his face. He nodded and slid the guitar off his lap and into the sand ever so gently, resting his hand on his thighs.

“I know that it’s not much, but it’s all I could come up with at the time. I didn’t plan on writing it, and I really didn’t plan on letting you hear it until recently, but I couldn’t keep it inside any longer. With you, everything has to come out.”

I bit my lip and placed my palms flat against the sand, slowly stretching my legs out from underneath the dress. I pulled the fabric up past my knees and held it while I squirmed to my knees, slowly sliding myself towards him. He didn’t move while he kept his eyes on me, just waited - waited for me to do something. I let my dress go for a moment to push his legs apart, pulling the delicate fabric back up quickly so I could move in between them. I allowed myself to stop once I was close enough, my face inches away from his. My hands met with his cheeks and my lips met with his, and I kissed him. It was such a simple thing, but it was the only thing I could do.

I hoped he could feel everything I felt for him. I hoped he knew that, even through all the struggles we had gone through, all the fights and stressors, and all the near death experiences, we could be strong. We could be together forever. We could be our definition of normal, no matter what that meant. I could be Lonnie and he could be Nick, and we could just be in love because that’s all we knew how to do.

As Nick kissed back I could feel that he got the message, and that he accepted it. He accepted us, knowing that we’d end up here even if we waited five or ten years. He knew that our love could only grow from here on, and that the worst was over. We could live now.

He held my face in his hands, his fingers lightly raking through my waves, and I smiled - I smiled because I could; because we were here and married; because we were finally okay. And I smiled because I loved him so darn much that I didn’t know what to do with myself. So, I pushed him back, pressing my palms flat against his chest as he hit the sand. Our lips never disconnected, but I felt him smiling, holding me closer to him. My fingers dug into his soft curls and there was a relief in me that I had been longing for, for so long. He let out that familiar grunt, trying to pull my hand away by grabbing my wrist, but his attempt was weak. And soon he let go of my wrist to wrap his arm around my waist, snugly pulling me as far into him as I could fit.

“I can’t wait to spend forever with you,” I whispered against his lips, giggling when he was finally able to pull my hands from his hair.

“I thought we were already doing that,” he whispered back, and the shine in his eyes didn’t stop. I didn’t know if it ever would.

______________________________________________________________

Everyone had began to disappear now that the sun was setting. They all gave us their blessing or said something about how cute we were. I didn’t blush when they said it though, so that was new. Nick’s family had just left, and even though Mrs. Jonas had pulled me and Nick into a tight hug that seemed to go on forever, Mr. Jonas found time to take Nick away for a moment to discuss whatever.

Eve and my father were the last to leave, and it was almost like she had to pull him away. When he finally pulled himself together I released my grip on him, smiling when Nick held his hand out for him, but Dad yanked him into a hug instead. He was strong for a scrawny guy.

“Your father and I will come get you when the two weeks are over,” Eve informed us. She had finally “caught” us, but we all knew that she had known that Nick and I had broken the Wedding Night rule long ago. She had set us a punishment, too; we couldn’t live with each other for a month. It was hardly anything, but since Nick and I were so used to spending practically every night together we knew that it would be a challenge.

“Bye!” I called out as they slowly moved toward the car. I was still smiling and I had a feeling that I would be for a while.

Nick’s hand slipped into mine then, his thumb rubbing across my skin in slow, hypnotizing motions. I looked up at him, the side of his face almost glowing as the darkness began to take over the sky. I could still hear the waves of the ocean in the distance, but Nick’s even breathing as he pulled me into his chest was what I focused on.

“Can you believe it?” I blurted out suddenly, unable to keep a laugh from falling out of my lips. I peeked up at him to find his eyes - still shining - settling on me. “We’re married.” Those words had a certain way of making me giddy.

His thin eyebrows raised and his chest deflated with a sigh, but he smiled and it was beautiful.

“So, now what do we do?” he asked with a hint of a smirk. He stepped to the side slowly and leant forward, wrapping his arms around my waist to pull us together, chest to chest. The tip of his nose touched mine and because of the way the light was, and maybe my glow, I could see that tiny little freckle on his nose.

“I think we go inside now…” I giggled, wrapping my own arms around his torso.

“And why would we go inside now?” he murmured. I could tell he was doing his best to compose himself, but it was working too well.

“Nick,” I stated lowly, tilting my head.

“What?” he laughed, “I’m truly curious as to what you think we’re going to do inside.”

“Shut up!” I laughed again, pulling my arm from around him so I could smack his chest. He gripped my wrist before I could though, just like he always did, and he slowly brought my hand up to his mouth. I watched him kiss the top before turning my hand over slowly and pressing another kiss to my palm, and then to each one of my fingers.

“You have small hands,” he murmured, making my heart flutter. “Have I ever told you that?”

“I don’t know.” It was hard to speak let alone think.

He sighed then and clasped our hands together for only long enough to give it a squeeze.

“I guess we’ll go in.”

I waited a moment before pulling away from him, but my eyes widened when he pulled me back. And in an instant I was being lifted, his forearm resting underneath the bend of my knees while the other arm wrapped securely around my waist.

“Nick!” I squealed, hanging on to him for dear life. He laughed, the sound musical and light, like it was only meant for my ears.

“Am I not supposed to do this? You made me watch all those romance movies, I just assumed this was right.”

“It is,” I breathed. I looked down at his face as he began to move forward, easily getting me out of the cool air and into the silent house. He wasn’t wearing his jacket and his sleeves were rolled up, so maybe he was pretty warm, but I just wanted to cuddle up with him under the covers. I think he realized that when I nuzzled my face into his neck.

“Are you ever going to get tired of cuddling?” he murmured against my hair. I muttered a no against his neck, smiling against his skin as his chest vibrated with soft laughter.

“Just face it, Nick. You love cuddling now.”

“I don’t love it,” he mumbled, and I could feel us begin to move again, his body slowly carrying us up the stairs. “But I guess it isn’t so bad.”

I snorted. “So bad? I think you love it.”

“The only reason I love it is because it’s you,” he said lowly, and his eyes met mine as I pulled back enough to smile. “Is that what you want to do then? Cuddle?”

I grinned at him but didn’t answer, instead resting my head against his shoulder as he pulled us into a room with a large bed - perfect for cuddling. I didn’t know how happier I could get.

He carried me towards the bed, reaching for the small lamp on the table beside it, the light flickering on. He set me on the bed gently and moved to sit next to me, his hands in his lap. I turned to face him, watching him lay back against the comforter. He stared up at the ceiling with a thoughtful gaze, his mind probably whirling. What was he thinking? I wished I could always hear his thoughts like I could when he was a wolf, but then he wouldn’t be the mysterious Nick anymore. And that’s one of the things that made him special.

I sighed and laid myself down next to him, our shoulders touching. “What are you thinking about?” I whispered, breaking the sudden silence. He pursed his lips and continued to stare up, letting his shoulders rise and fall in a lazy shrug. There was a short silence before he finally answered in a soft voice.

“Everything.”

I bit my lip and continued to focus my eyes on the side of his face.

“That’s a lot to think about.”

He laughed then, softly, and he turned his head slowly until he was facing me. “I guess it is.”

“Well,” I cleared my throat, “stop thinking.” He looked at me with a familiar look in his eyes, one that made me feel like I was so special to him: adoration. “I mean, what did you tell me today?” I smiled, lifting my hand up and into his. “It’s just you and me.”

He nodded slowly, his eyes searching mine as he repeated in a low voice, “Just you and me.”

I didn’t know why, but I suddenly felt the need to blurt out something embarrassing. I bit my lip and allowed my eyes to dance over his face. “Do you want to?”

He raised his eyebrows as soon as the words left my mouth, my cheeks flushing with what I was sure had to be a bright red. “Do I want to… what?”

“You know,” I hissed, lifting my hand out of his to punch his arm.

He smirked. “I’m sorry, but I don’t have a perverted mind like some people.”

“Oh, sure. You know what I’m talking about, so obviously your mind is just as perverted.”

He sighed and, after a moment, opened his mouth to speak, his own cheeks pink. “Do you?”

“Well, it is our wedding night…”

“And you aren’t about breaking tradition, right?” he mumbled. I nodded and he scoffed, both of us smiling. “You’re a very bad liar.”

“I’m not lying about anything.”

“I love you,” he whispered in a tone completely far from the playful one he just had. His eyes were serious, too. “I feel like I don’t say it enough.”

“Nick, you say it plenty. And you make me feel it all the time…”

He slowly lifted his head off the bed and leaned his body toward me, pressing his lips to mine in a firm but gentle kiss. I kissed him back slowly and pulled my hand up to rest in his curls, ruffling and twisting them with my fingers. It may have been some sort of obsession that I had with his hair, but I loved it. I loved him.

He moved his arms, resting his palms flat against the mattress on either side of me, holding himself up while his lips continued to work against mine. I slid my hands up the front of his chest, taking in the feel of the fabric until my fingers found the buttons. I took my time undoing them because we didn’t have to rush anymore. We had all the time in the world.

He slowly lifted himself off of me and stood, allowing me to sit myself up, too. I pushed the shirt off of his shoulders and kept my eyes met with his, but he seemed to shift as the shirt hit the floor. His eyes darted down his body and I did the same, letting them roam his chest for a moment before I froze on the scar - the constant reminder of the day that I had almost lost him. I looked up at him with teary eyes, and he stared right back down at me, lifting his hand until his fingers gripped my chin.

“Don’t cry, okay?” he breathed sternly, but there was a softness in his eyes and I knew it hurt him just as much.

“Nick-”

“No,” he shook his head, knowing what I was going to say before I could even say it. We had this discussion before, but he would never let me wonder. “I’m okay.”

“But you-”

“I’m okay and I’m here,” he stressed. “I’m here because of you.”

“Why won’t you ever tell me how you felt, Nick?” I sniffled, my words breathy.

“There’s nothing to tell-”

“Don’t start with that right now,” I said sternly. He shut his eyes tight and I blinked repeatedly, sucking in a deep breath and then letting it out to calm myself. I lifted my hand and eased my fingers out, slowly trailing them over the piece of skin that was more noticeable. “Just tell me.”

He lifted his hand from his side and grabbed my wrist, and I swore he was going to push my hand away. It surprised me when he didn’t. Instead he slid his fingers down to the top of my hand and pressed my hand into his skin more firmly, leaving his hand on mine.

“I was scared,” he said lowly. I could hear a shake in his voice, but it was gone just as fast as it came. “I was scared and I was hurt, but it didn’t matter because I could see you through it all.”

He dropped his hand from mine and I began to roam my fingers over his skin again. “What do you mean?”

“I was so proud of you, Lonnie. I am proud of you. And when I saw what you did, how you won… I wasn’t paying attention. I had no idea that - I didn’t know he…” he tried, shutting his eyes as he struggled for those words that I knew I wasn’t even capable of saying. “But then I felt it. I felt something and it didn’t hurt like I thought it would at first, but it scared me more than anything. And I saw you then, and I saw you when I fell, and after you told me to hold on, I saw you.”

“And when you…” I couldn’t say it.

“I saw you,” he whispered, almost in a daze as he nodded. “I saw you when I closed my eyes.” He paused for a moment, his eyes searching mine again, debating on whether or not he should say more. “I tried to fight for you, but I’m not as strong as you think I am-”

“You are. I can’t stand it when you say that.” Nick was the strongest person I knew and he taught me everything. I was only strong because of him.

“Even so,” he breathed, “I couldn’t fight anymore because I saw your face and I thought that maybe it’d be okay again.”

Silence took over us for a long moment, but when I finally tore my eyes away from that reminder and trailed them up to his face, I could tell he wanted to say more.

“But you saved me,” he said, and he smiled. “I’m here because of you.” He leaned forward and placed his hands on top of mine that rested on the bed beside me. “Thank you,” he whispered, his lips inches from mind. “It wouldn’t be the same.”

“I-I wouldn’t live without you,” I managed, swallowing the lump in my throat. He was putting me on a rollercoaster of emotions, just like he always did.

“Don’t say that-”

“I won’t have to,” I blurted quickly. I shook my head furiously and kept my eyes on his, reaching out to rest my palm over his heart. “Just don’t make me go through that again.”

“I promise you,” he breathed with sincerity in his eyes, “that I will always be here with you.”

I placed my hands on the back of his neck, pulling him forward until our lips met. He sat down next to me without breaking our kiss and held me closer, showing me just how much he meant everything.

“I love you so much,” he growled against my ear when he pulled from my lips to catch a breath. It made the butterflies storm throughout my body and my breath quicken. “So much, Lonnie-” He paused then, his eyes meeting mine for the millionth time, but I would never get tired of the sensations he drew out of me, whether it be from his touch or kiss, or just a simple look. “Lilliani Jonas,” he finally whispered, a hint of a smile awaiting on his lips, inviting me - daring - me to kiss him. I think my point was proven when he licked his lips, his head turning so he could press them against my ear. “I like the sound of that.”

I had more fight in me than I ever thought I could, and Nick brought that out. Nick made me feel like I was on top of the world, like I was invincible and stronger than him. He made me happy. I never thought I’d find my own Prince Charming like I had always thought about when my mom read those books to me before bed. I never thought she could possibly know that I would end up with someone and be so completely in love like she had. But she knew. She knew that I’d have my very own Prince Charming, one that was beautiful and intelligent, strong and independent; one that kept me safe, and on my toes; one that could turn into my very own wolf. She knew I would end up with Nick, and she knew that we would make it through.

I guess love wins in the end. Maybe my mom was gone now, but she won because she had so much love for me. I won because I had so much love for Nick. And I guess that, no matter what darkness we were thrown into, we would make it through. Because now, with Nick, I had my light in the storm. That’s all I needed.