Take a Sad Song and Make It Better

Jade's POV

This was it, the day that I had been wishing and waiting for since Monday afternoon when Melanie had played the CD in her car. Today, today was All Time Low's concert. To say I was excited would be the understatement of the century. I was a mixture of all the happiness in the world and then some.

I know; its slightly pathetic to get so worked up over a small in town band that hasn't gone anywhere, yet, but I loved the music they played and seeing my new friends live would just complete the experience.

Have you ever had the sensation where you feel like your insides are twisting and exploding underneath your bones, in a good way? Or all you want to do in that moment is jump sky high and touch the clouds? Or you get so excited that you accidentally let a squeal escape your lips, but the excitement overcomes your embarrassment? That's exactly what was happening when I sat down in Kara's car as we drove to the venue where the show would be starting a couple hours.

“Someone hit her.” Kara said monotonously, looking at me from the rear view mirror. I didn't have time to react before a blow was delivered on my left hand side.

“Ow!” I shouted, my glare directing towards Melanie, her face squished up into an innocent look.

“I was only obeying mommy.”

“I'm not your mom, Mel.”

“You act like one.”

“That's because you act like an overgrown child.” Kara said, her eyes focusing back onto the road, but I could see the smile in her eyes.

“If you're the mommy, who's our daddy?” Kaylie asked, looking over at Melanie from the passenger seat, as if she could produce all the answers.

“Rian. Duh.” Kara said from the front; this time I could hear the smile in her voice.

“No, Rian's too immature.” Kaylie said, tapping her chin in thought.

“True dat, homie.”

“You're a dork, Melanie.” Kara said, looking at her in the rear view mirror. Melanie rolled her eyes and slumped back into the old, tattered leather, a pout on her face.

“Well, who's mature enough to be the father?” Kaylie asked, looking around the car. After this, the car was silent, obviously all were in deep thought. Truth be told, none of the guys were mature enough to even be considered the father. Finally, one person popped into my head.

“Matt.”

“He can't be the father! He's my brother!” Melanie yelled, looking over at me with a disgusted look on her face.

“Well, fuck me then.”

“Gladly.”

“Aunty!” Kaylie and Kara yelled, laughing at the face Melanie made.

After a few minutes of laughing and joking we had finally arrived. I sprinted from the car and raced to the first door that caught my eye.

“Jay!” I heard someone yell. I whipped my head around and looked for someone, my eyes catching Alex's brightly lit face, his arms waving high over his head in order to catch my attention. “This way, Jay Bird!” I laughed and followed the group inside.

“You guys are a bunch of sexy mother fuckers, I must say.” Alex yelled into his microphone, causing the crowd to scream with laughter and delight; mine was filled with a mixture of both.

All Time Low was getting big, according to Kara. This show, compared to the others the boys had performed at, was slightly larger crowd and the club (though the boys preferred to call it a venue) was larger and more spacious. The owners had been gracious enough to give the boys a 'dressing room' of sorts, but Rian had come to call it the 'panic room', considering that the boys weren't really dressing in it at all and had been just sitting there, waiting for the show to start in enticipation.

To say the least; All Time Low was just as good live as they were on recordings, if not better. It was amazing to actually see them perform with all the emotion I had heard on the CDs.

“Well, we'd love to play another song for you bitches, but Jack has to take care of his herpes-”

“It's true!” Jack yelled into his own microphone a smile on his face.

“-and I have to help him rub the ointment everywhere, which includes touching his dick.”

“It's an amazing experience. Really.” I laughed, looking between the two boys on stage.

“With that being said, we'll see you guys later!” And with that, the four boys walked off stage, one by one.

“Let's go meet them backstage.” Kara yelled over the mass hysteria that was breaking out amongst the venue/club. We all nodded and followed the brunette through the crowd of sweating bodies. Many people were trying to sneak drinks from the bar causing a break out of pushing and shoving, making it almost impossible to move amongst the people.

We finally arrived in a dimly lit and damp-looking hallway and walked towards a dark wooden door. From the outside, we could hear the boys congratulating each other on a job well done. We stood outside the door, listening in, before I became impatient of eavesdropping.

“I hope no one's touching each other inappropriately!” I yelled loud enough for the boys to hear through the door, before kicking it open.

“I want you to touch me inappropriately!” Alex yelled, all eyes landing on him. “..Fuck. That came out wrong.” I laughed softly under my breath before walking over to him.

“Dude, you fucking smell.” Alex lifted his arm and took a sniff, before pulling away and making a disgusted face.

“I do.”

“You should shower.”

“I should.” Alex grabbed a fresh shirt and a pair of pants and walked towards the
bathroom. “But when I get home. Unfortunately, this fucking place doesn't have a shower so we'll have to make do with changing and applying fucking loads of deodorant to hide the smell for a while.” The group laughed and a couple groans fell amongst the girls in the room, all of us knowing all too well that we would have to endure the stench a while longer.

Conversation ensued as each of the boys took their turns changing and freshening up. Soon enough, each boy was changed and fully involved in a conversation. Mine being with Alex; our conversation springing up as if we were picking up from where we had left off the last time we had talked. That's what I loved about talking with Alex;there wasn't that awkward few seconds before a conversation commences. When talking with him, usually, it was just like a continuous conversation every time you saw him.

“So, you play the guitar, right Jay Bird?” Alex asked, playing with the bottle of water in his hands. I nodded and took a sip of my own bottle. “How long have you been playing?” I shrugged and pushing the water bottle around on the floor.

“A couple years. I play it every now and again.” Alex nodded and tossed his water bottle at Jack; it hit him square in the face, knocking him over onto the floor. It was quite a spectacle.

“We should have a jam session some time.” I smiled and looked up to meet his face.

“That would be fucking rad.”

“Cool.” Alex hopped up off the ground and grabbed his acoustic from off one of the chairs in the room, grabbing my arm, and pulling me towards the door.

“Rape! Rape!” Jack yelled, causing all the eyes in the room to focus on the pair of us.

“It's not rape if we both want it.” Alex winked at Jack and he slapped my ass before walking out the door amongst many calls and whistles from the people inside.

“Alex, where are we going?” I asked as he continued to pull me by my wrist down the dimly lit hallway and towards the door we had entered in from not too long ago.

“Jam session. Duh.” He replied, pulling me through the door and pulling me to sit on the cold cement, positioning himself so the guitar could sit comfortably in his lap.

“Now?” I asked, a little disbelief lacing my word of choice.

“Yup.” I laughed as Alex produced a pick from his pocket and began to play a couple chords I had recognized as one of the songs they had played in their set tonight.

“I don't have my guitar though.” Alex shrugged and continued plucking out chords.

“That's fine. We can take turns. Tonight, it tis my turn.” I laughed softly and watched his fingers move along the strings. Suddenly, he stopped and clamped his hand over the neck of the guitar, causing my eyes to jerk up to meet his gaze. “But first, I have to talk to you.” Those words sent chills down my spine. Nothing good ever came of those few words.

“About what?” I asked, trying to mask the slight fear in my voice.

“About you.” I swallowed the gathering spit in my mouth and looked anywhere but his face. “Jade, why do you feel the need to hide yourself from everyone?”

“I don't know what you're talking abou-”

“You know exactly what I'm talking about, Jade. You're fucking doing it right now.” I looked down at the ground now; it seemed the best place to avoid Alex's gaze. “It's like, you're hiding yourself behind this wall, and refusing to let anyone in.” Tears stung at my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. They were a weakness I refused to let anyone see. “When it's just me and you, I feel...cut off in a way. Like you have something that you're not telling me, or anyone for that matter. But I see the looks you and Bailey share. It's like...you have this...something that you don't wanna tell anyone about.” I couldn't look up from the ground; I knew what Alex was saying was true, and it probably wasn't fair to keep hiding this from him, but I wasn't ready yet. I didn't know if I ever would be. “I want to get to know you, Jade. The real you.”

“This is the real me.” My words broke and cracked from building emotion, but I hoped it hadn't been too noticeable.

Alex gave an audible sigh. “Maybe, if I show you something, it will help you break down a little better.” When I didn't give a reply, Alex continued. “I'm going to play a song for you. I don't know if you've heard it; I don't play it often, but its something that helped me out a lot when I was going through something...well it helped get out some angst I had for something that had happened.” After a short pause, I nodded, urging him to continue. Soon, Alex's voice filled the still air, followed by a soft guitar.

Make it a sweet, sweet goodbye -
it could be for the last time and it's not right.
"Don't let yourself get in over your head," he said.
Alone and far from home we'll find you...

Alex let the guitar fade out slightly before playing louder and with more emotion, his voice matching the intensity his playing gave off.

Dead - Like a candle you burned out;
spill the wax over the spaces left in place of angry words.
Scream - To be heard, like you needed any more attention;
throw the bottle, break the door, and disappear.

The guitar built and I soon, I couldn't help but look up from off the ground and look at Alex's face; it was filled with so many emotions. I swear I could see his eyes glistening with tears, much like mine.

Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams,
waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."

Alex's gaze met mine and I could see the emotion running through his eyes; it was as if he was urging me to read the story behind the lyrics he urgently sang. Finally, the message behind them was becoming clear and I wished that it hadn't.

Forever's never seemed so long as when you're not around
it's like a piece of me is missing.
I could have learned so much from you but what's left now?
Don't you realize you shot this family a world of pain?
Can't you see there should have been a happy ending we let go?

Finally, much to my dismay, the tears I had been hiding so desperately came rolling down my cheeks as fast as I could produce them. It was as if the months of hiding them had finally caught up with me, and one small song had triggered them.

Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams,
waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."

Alex stopped abruptly and I could hear the clatter of his guitar falling to the cement and soon I felt his thumbs wiping away my fast pouring tears.

“Jay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry.” I shook my head, not being able to produce the words I needed to ease his worry. Soon, I felt Alex's arms around me, bringing me into his chest and onto his lap as I cried into the cotton of his t-shirt.

Moments passed, the only sound filling the air was the soft sobs I produced. I can't describe how much I didn't want this. I hated myself for letting me do this. I didn't need anyone seeing me like this. I was a strong person and I can't let myself go, so why was I letting myself fall so easily for comfort? Maybe I was finally easing myself into letting these new people in, letting them get to know me. But the question lingering in the back of my mind was, how would they except me after finding out about what Bailey and I had been hiding?

Finally, I pulled myself away from Alex's chest, wiping under my eyes to rid myself of any running make up. Alex's arms were still around me, his eyes looking over my face as if he wanted to say something but couldn't find the right words.

But I broke the silence first.

“Was that song about losing someone?” I asked, my words slightly muffled by the intense crying I had just endured. Alex stared at me for a moment, judging my behavior it would seem, before he nodded somewhat sadly. “I know what that's like.” I whispered, looking away from him.

From his actions, I knew Alex had been about to ask how, or why, or any number of questions, but thankfully the door we had been hiding behind opened; the sound piercing through the night air.

A head popped up from behind the door, a mess of long blond hair that I did not recognize blowing in the breeze. The girl smiled, showing all her pearly whites as she looked between Alex and I. Slowly, Alex retracted his arms from around me and I took that as my cue to pull myself off his lap. The girl continued to look between us critically as if studying our behavior, her smile never leaving her face. She seemed genuinely friendly, but the circumstances in which she was now seeing me made our first impressions slightly awkward.

“Alex, I've been looking everywhere for you. Zack and Jack are looking for you in the parking lot. Jack said something about rape?” Alex chuckled softly and got up off the ground, brushing off his pants before offering me a hand. I looked at it for a second before pushing myself off the ground, ignoring his outstretched hand. Alex gave me a quizzical look before picking up his guitar. The blond girl smiled at me and then looked over at Alex, jerking her head in my direction. Alex's mouth made an 'o' shape and then looked between us.

“Oh, this is Jade,” Alex said looking at me. The blond smiled and outstretched her hand, which I took before retracting it to my side. “Jade, this is Lisa,” I smiled somewhat awkwardly, “my girlfriend.”

My eyes widened. I looked over at Alex, his arm now around the girl's shoulders, a small smile on his face. I looked between the two and forced a smile.

“It was nice to meet you, Lisa.” She smiled back. “But I better be going.” I didn't give any further explanation to my sudden departure. I looked over at Alex; he gave me a pained look, as if to say he was sorry. I wasn't buying it. Instead, I just walked away, towards the parking lot, passing the cars and walking down the street.

I didn't care how I was getting home, as long as I got there before anyone could see the tears running down my face again.