Hold up My Heart

Waking up with the worst headache – close to a hangover, really sucked ass. I mean, I’ve done every drug you could think of, and basically inhaled so much alcohol you’d think my insides would have deteriorated already.

Nothing cures the hangover of drugs like let drunk and high off your ass the next night. I smiled to myself, that’s exactly what I’d probably do.

Besides, I was good at it.

The drugs must have still been in my system because I hadn’t even realized where the hell I was until I actually opened my eyes and looked around.

Nope, this was definitely not my room.

“Fuck,” I muttered and I slowly pushed myself up, swinging my legs over the small bed right after. Looking around, I found that this room looked familiar, not too familiar, but close.

I totally knew where I was when I glanced at the walls in the room. There were pictures hanging up in frames, not many, but by the look of the two little kids in the photo, I knew where I was. I grumbled to myself, I really did not want to deal with him today.

So I thought of a new exit – one that did not involve using a door. I was thankful that Jacob’s house was a one-story; I’d be able to leave easily.

Grasping onto the bottom, I yanked up, pulling as much as I could, and the window didn’t budge one bit. The glass made a few noises, shaking around in the frame; I tried my best not to make too much noise.

But as I kept trying, pulling and yanking and actually hitting the window, I was screwed.

“God, Dammit!” I yelled, sending my fist into the wall. I winced as my hand made contact with the cold hard wall, but I didn’t let it bother me.

The pain went away as soon as I heard muffled voices nearing closer to the door. I bit my lip but stomped over to the door. Slamming it open in my try I walked over Embry who was now on the ground holding his nose.

“Whoops,” I muttered as I shoved two other tall boys in my way.

I heard laughter come from behind me, and it sounded like Paul’s laugh, “Shit, she whipped that door in your face.”

“No, shit?” Embry whined, his voice sounding different from his hold on his nose, covering his mouth.

Ignoring the call from Paul, I continued walking until I got to the front door. As soon as I opened it, the door slammed shut just as quickly, all thanks to a large tan hand.

Giving out a low growl-like sound, I turned around and glared up at Jacob. “Let me out, Jacob Black.”

Jacob shook his head, a damn smirk plastered on his face. All in the moment I just wanted to slap him, why was he doing this to me?

So I began with, “You know, this is illegal, Jacob. Kidnapping a poor innocent –“

I was interrupted with a low snort coming from Embry Call, “Oh, yeah, that’s extreme bull –“ Jacob turned around and growled, which got Embry to shut up, and me to cower into the door.

Why am I afraid of him? I thought, it was unlikely for me, I mean, I’ve taught myself extremely well and this is what I counter with?

I sigh, blowing my bangs out of my face as I crossed my arms, “What do you want, Black?” He winced as I snapped this at him, but I wasn’t fazed at all.

Straightening out his posture, and making himself look more un-susceptible, he answered with a sarcastic yet firm, “I thought we’d have a chance to talk, hang out, you know,”

I clicked my tongue, letting loose just a bit. “You know, that’s a great idea, Jacob. I’d go through with that plan if I actually wanted to be around you, but I don’t, so get the fuck out of my way.” I seethed, shoving through Jacob’s arms to get to the door.

It was impossible.

Jacob chuckled lightly, “Looks like you’re stuck here for a bit. You look hungry, I’ll make you something.” He smiled before looking over at his friends, “You guys want to watch her while I cook her something?” He gave me a small nod before picking me up and setting me on the couch.

After being man-handled and put on the couch, Jacob left the room and into the kitchen. “You were never a good cook, you ass.” I hollered over to him. I could hear him chuckle lowly, and that only make my heart twist in ways I didn’t feel good about.

“Someone’s getting back into the spirit of –“

“Quiet,” I interrupted with a growl-like sound as I shoved my elbow into Paul’s ribcage. With them being wolves and all, it only hurt me, Paul didn’t even flinch.

“I’m still surprised that you haven’t really flipped shit about us being wolves – and your boy toy being one of them,” Paul mused, a smirk etched onto his face.

Crossing my arms, I moved far over to the end of the couch as I could. I looked up at Jared, who was sitting in the chair closest to the door, his face holding an amused expression.

“He is not my boy toy, and he never was.” I whispered firmly. My voice was hard, not one syllable in my words faltered.

Scoffing, Paul scooted himself closer to me, “Well if you don’t want him, there is always –“

“Paul!” Jacob growled from the wide-opened doorway. Chuckling, Paul picked himself off the couch and over to one of the chairs next to Jared.

“So, this is fun,” Paul said with a smirk, and a wink that went straight over to me. Rolling my eyes I swiftly flipped him and moved closer to the edge of the couch.

Jacob was about to speak, but Jared stood up, grabbing Paul’s arm as he did so. “We’re going to go check in with Sam. Holler when you’re done.” He raised his brows and gave Jacob a sympathetic look.

Why would Jacob need a look of sympathy? Oh, that’s right…

Jacob sighed from beside me after Paul closed the door behind them. I didn’t feel at all comfortable with Jacob and I alone. At least, that’s what I thought.

“Where is Billy?” I asked roughly.

“Out fishing with Charlie, you remember –“

“Yes, Jacob, I remember Charlie. And at the moment, I don’t care.” I let out angrily. “Actually, I don’t care at all, ever.”

Chuckling, Jacob handed a plate that held bacon and toast over towards me. I shook my head and pushed it away.

“You’re not hungry? You’ve always been the hungry one, Arabella,”

I seethed again, “Do not call me that. You lost that privilege a long time ago. Actually, you can’t call me anything, for that matter.”

Jacob sighed, he knew he was losing, he needed to just give up, and I was going to tell him that soon enough. “Ara, you know what happened now, and you should understand –“

I scoffed, standing up and backing away from him. “Understand? How can I possibly understand that you left me because of some stupid wolf thing? You couldn’t have wait, and said goodbye to me first? All you thought about was yourself and what was apparently going on with you.” I sighed, running a hand through my hair with aggravation. “And you know what? I don’t care anymore, in fact, I’ve lost my feelings for you, for us, and I’ve stopped caring about everything, ever since you left me.”

Jacob opened his mouth to speak but I lifted a hand up as I shook my head. “I don’t give two shits about what you have to say anymore, Jacob Black. I am done, I have been done, and you are nothing to me anymore. Go ahead and say what you want about your excuses of becoming a wolf. Keep going on about how deadly this imprint can be if one were to ignore it and push it away. Keep telling yourself that we’re right for each other.”

I walked over to the door, and I knew Jacob wasn’t following. Pulling the door open, I turned around and kept my eyes on his lips, I didn’t want to see the look in his eyes. I was too afraid I’d fall for them and go run into his arms and tell him how much I –

I shook my head, “We’re not, Jacob Black. Stay out of this hell that I call my life.” I regretted that my voice had cracked, because it showed weakness, and I was never good with weakness. So I left, running out of the doors and through Jacob’s yard.

Once I’d gotten to the street I saw a car coming down, slowing as it got closer to me. It was Karina’s car, and inside it was her and Embry. I frowned at that but ran up to the car and hopped in.

“Take me home,” I said quietly. I didn’t want to take this pain and anger out on Karina.

Giving me an odd look, Karina nodded before turning to Embry and pecking him on the lips. “I’ll call you later,” She said with a smile. After Embry got out of the car, I climbed into the front seat and stared straight in front of me as Karina took off down the road, asking me innumerable amounts of questions about what happened, what was wrong; was everything okay.

Apparently nothing was ‘okay’ if I felt like shit and just needed a few hits.