Smiling at Everything

The members of All Time Low and RxN stood behind the curtains of the stage, waiting for the start of the all-male band's set. For now, the RxN members were wishing the members of All Time Low good luck. They would nervously prepare for their own performance later. RxN would be performing last, seeing as they had gone before All Time Low the night before. The bands would alternate back and forth between taking the last slot for the entirety of the tour.

Jazz fidgeted, standing in front of Zack. After Jazz had come clean to Zack, she stayed in his arms, crying, until an hour before they had to perform. Zack had waited patiently for her stop, rubbing his hands over her back and telling her it wasn't her fault. She couldn't believe he had been so sweet to her, that he didn't think she was disgusting.

"You okay, Elvis?" Zack asked.

"I just," Jazz paused, "I want to thank you for everything."

"You've done that before."

She had. When Zack allowed her to sleep at his home before the start of tour, she thanked him.

"I know but that was before today."

Jazz couldn't say what happened out loud. Not with her band members in the vicinity. They probably wouldn't hear, far too caught up in their own conversations. But Jazz didn't want to chance it.

"You don't have to thank me for that. I wanted you to tell me. I should be thanking you for trusting me," Zack stated.

"Two minutes," Matt yelled, interrupting most of the conversations going on.

"Guess that means you should find someplace to stand and listen," Zack said.

"I can't stay to listen. The twins are fussy so I'm going to help Lestat and Neon take care of them."

Zack glanced in the direction of the twins, one on Lestat's arms and one in Neon's arms. Both refused to sit still, hopping in their caretakers' arms, pulling at whatever they could, and crying. He grimaced. Kids were not his specialty.

"They'll calm down once I give them something more productive to do," Jazz said, noticing his facial expression, "Good luck out there."

Jazz wrapped her arms around Zack's neck, careful not to upset the bass hanging on his body, and snuggled her face into his neck. Zack held Jazz with one muscular arm, the other holding his instrument. They held each other for a moment before Jazz pressed her lips to Zack's cheek and pulled away.

"Now I'm not going to be able to concentrate," Zack stated.

"Doesn't matter. No one cares about the bassist anyway," Jazz teased.

"Oh really? No Sour Patch Kids for you."

"I don't want your Sour Patch Kids."

"Alright, guys, get ready to get out there," Matt yelled.

"We'll finish this later," Zack stated, turning to his appropriate entrance spot.

Jazz shook her head, smiling. She loved this, the freedom she felt with Zack. Would she feel the same way if she told her friends? The possibility that letting go of her secret would make her closer to her friends almost made her want to call a band meeting while All Time Low was performing.

But she was scared. She and Zack had bonded over his knowledge of her false behavior. Her friends couldn't even notice that. If Jazz told them, there was a possibility they wouldn't handle it the same way. She needed them to notice something was wrong before she told them, just so she could know they cared. It wasn't likely to happen soon.

This was worse than coming out as bisexual.

Jazz turned to Lestat and Neon, cringing as Novella pulled Lestat's hair. The children needed to be subdued and fast. Jazz was just the person for the job.

Real smile still on her face, Jazz walked up to the pair. The twins failed to notice her, too consumed in raising any hell they could. Their caretakers, on the other hand, did notice.

"Let's go so I can put this one down," Lestat pleaded, "My scalp can't take anymore."

"Can't take a little baby, Lestat?" Jazz asked.

At the sound of Jazz's voice, both babies jolted to look at her. Novella reached toward her, squirming in Lestat's arms. Lestat handed the baby over without a second though, grateful to be rid of the pain. Jazz had a way with children that he didn't and he would exploit that now.

Jazz placed Novella on one hip, reserving the other for Armand. He would get jealous of his sister soon enough. Novella rested her head against Jazz's shoulder. Realizing his sister was getting more attention, Armand whined, just as Jazz expected. Neon handed her son to Jazz. Armand grappled onto her immediately, resting his head on her shoulder like his sister. Neon smiled, glad to see the twins calmed, and motioned to the hallway leading to the dressing room. The three walked through the hallway, away from the noises coming from the stage, and ducked into the joint dressing room they shared with All Time Low.

Neon sighed, "If it weren't for you, Jazz, those two would have never calmed down."

"How are you so good with them?" Lestat asked.

Jazz let the question stew in her mind. This was the perfect moment to come clean to her friends. Or two of them. She could tell them everything, show how much happiness she lacked a good deal of the time. She could be herself, bearing her soul for them to see.

Instead, Jazz kept a now forced smile on her face, "I'm not actually one of their parents. They immediately attach to me."

Neon groaned, "They're already rebelling and they're not even a year old."

"Well, Alex's sperm did rebel against your alleged barren reproductive system. It's only expected your children act the same way," Lestat commented.

Jazz forced a giggle. She had given up the chance to spill everything to two of her friends. It was the perfect moment. Another wouldn't arise. She wasn't very happy anymore remembering that.

But why was she so intent on telling her friends anything? They hadn't known for years. They didn't need to know now. This wasn't any of their concern. They couldn't even pay attention to her long enough to notice the same things Zack did.

He was the reason for this, her need to tell her friends. Though it had been a fleeting suggestion, it stuck in Jazz's mind and had grown into a need. She wouldn't act on it. Zack knew and that was enough.

"So, Jazz," Lestat said, catching the keyboardist's attention, "are you and Zack a couple now?"

"What are you talking about?"

He shrugged, "You two have just been really close lately."

"You actually have a boyfriend who's good for you," Neon commented.

"He's not my boyfriend," Jazz denied.

She wanted him to be. She really did. But they weren't there yet in their relationship. They were still friends. Close friends. Friends that could be together if they wanted to be. Jazz was just waiting for Zack to ask.

"That's not what Dorian is going around saying," Lestat said.

"My lover is spreading rumors about me?" Jazz gasped, "I'll divorce him."

"Why aren't you and Zack together? You would make a cute couple," Neon stated.

"They would make cute couple," Lestat agreed, "And they're so different personality-wise, I think it would be good for them."

"He hasn't asked," Jazz said.

"When do you think he'll ask?" Neon asked.

"When are you getting pregnant again?" Jazz retaliated.

"After the twins turn two, I'll stop taking my birth control and we'll try for more."

Well, Neon did always want a bunch of kids.

"I don't see how Armand never got you pregnant with all that marathon sex you guys had," Lestat said.

"We used condoms," Neon stated.

"I'm aware. Armand's trashcan in his room always had them. You dirty, dirty girl."

"We did it in the boys' locker-room a few times. You should have seen Coach Anderson's face when he found one of the used condoms on the floor."

Lestat laughed, "He was probably so pissed someone dirtied his floor."

And, just like that, Jazz was unintentionally thrown from the conversation, having no knowledge of anything related to her friend's past high school.