Status: I took this story over from a RainingAmi. Hope you like it. Active ;)
29 Ways to Get Rid of Your Roommate
Operation Little Things
I looked at my friends. They looked traumatized. I turned to Alex only to see the same doe eyed look on his face. I busted out laughing. They all looked at me like I had lost it. I just kept laughing. “And what exactly is so funny?” Charlie asked.
“The looks. On all. Your. Faces.” I said through gasps of breath. I fell to my knees from laughing so hard. Finally the other caught my laughing bug and joined me. Even Alex couldn’t resist laughing with me. We all just sort of stood there laughing as the fire department drove away, leaving us in front of the apartment. Once Alex realized that the room was on fire I quickly found some water and began trying to put it out. Everyone quickly jumped up to help me and the fire was soon out. The fire alarm had gone off, however, so we had to explain what happened to the fire department and they made sure everything was okay.
Once we all stopped laughing I said “Let’s go see what Miss I AM FIRE did to my-I mean- our room.” So we all went inside.
It smelled horrible in here. I walked over to the window and opened it, sighing with relief as a cool breeze washed over me. Looking around I say that one of my spare papers had landed on a candle that was on my bed. My bed was completely destroyed.
“Crap.” I said as I looked for any other damage. I didn’t see any so I went into the living room. I sat on the couch and waited for the others to join me.
“Ok, so I guess we’ll leave now.” Lezlie said. And with that, everyone filed out the door. Alex came and sat next to me on the couch. “What were y’all doing exactly?” he asked. I scooted away from him a little more before I answered “We were doing exactly what you thought we were doing.” Then I got up and went into the kitchen. I put a T.V. dinner into the microwave and sat on the counter. The little black, plastic dish swirled around in the machine until the timer dinged. I must be really bored, which I am. So I grabbed it out and resumed my position on the counter, eating to my little tummy’s delight. All the while ignoring Alex. I have to get rid of him, and soon.
I turned over and fell off the bed. I groaned and sat up. Looking around, I remembered that I had to sleep on the couch. How on earth was I gonna afford a new bed? I can barely make enough for rent, let alone a new bed and bed coverings. I looked at the clock and saw that it was noon. It was Saturday so I didn’t really care that it was so late. So I crawled off the floor and looked up to see Alex staring down at me.
“What?” I asked rudely. I mean come on, who stares at people while they’re waking up? He started laughing. He was laughing so hard that he doubled over and almost spilt his coffee.
“You should’ve seen your face when you hit the ground.” He laughed.
“Fuck off.” I grumbled as I went to the bathroom to clean up and such.
Animal by Neon Trees was bumping through the apartment. I waltzed into the living room dancing and singing. I went into the kitchen to see Alex singing and dancing too. I giggled but left to go to the library. I may want to get rid off that boy, but I still have to make time for school work.
After finishing my homework, I got on one of the computers so I could look at the website again. Apparently, the paper that had caught on fire was the list. Just my luck, right? I saw that although there were still a lot of big things that I could do, there were also a bunch of little things I could do to rid Alex out for good under a category called the Little Things. Some of which included putting chips at the bottom of our clean trash can and fishing them out while he’s looking. This would make him think that I was eating out of the trash. I think today would be the perfect day for Operation Little Things.
So as I walked back to my apartment, I went over the things that I would do in my head. This is gonna be good. Hopefully, these little weird things will make him want to move out for sure. So I unlocked the door and walked in.
“Oh hey Arley.” Alex said as he walked into the living room.
“Afternoon good. Today you are how?” I replied. One of the things it said to do was talk backwards. Well, I can’t form actual words backwards but a backwards sentence should do just fine. I watched as confusion crossed his face.
“Umm what?” He asked.
“Think you don’t, having are we day lovely?” I asked as I grabbed some milk out the fridge. I suddenly remembered that another thing that it said would be annoying is to pretend like you’re using the computer in mid air.
“Forgot almost I. Facebook my check to have I.” I said as I set my milk down on the counter. I then acted as though I was opening my laptop and started typing.
“Computer stupid. Being are computers the slow how noticed you haven’t?” I asked him. I turned my head to see him looking at me as though I had grown another head. I smile sweetly and twitched as I turned back to my ‘computer’. I started laughing as though I had read the funniest thing ever.
“Umm ok, well I’m gonna go get in the shower and then into bed. Have fun… doing whatever you’re doing.” He said as he turned to leave.
“Hungry you aren’t? Then night good, ok well.” I said as I fake pouted and twitched.
“Dear lord.” He whispered as he went into our room and shut the door. Oh that was almost too easy.
“The looks. On all. Your. Faces.” I said through gasps of breath. I fell to my knees from laughing so hard. Finally the other caught my laughing bug and joined me. Even Alex couldn’t resist laughing with me. We all just sort of stood there laughing as the fire department drove away, leaving us in front of the apartment. Once Alex realized that the room was on fire I quickly found some water and began trying to put it out. Everyone quickly jumped up to help me and the fire was soon out. The fire alarm had gone off, however, so we had to explain what happened to the fire department and they made sure everything was okay.
Once we all stopped laughing I said “Let’s go see what Miss I AM FIRE did to my-I mean- our room.” So we all went inside.
It smelled horrible in here. I walked over to the window and opened it, sighing with relief as a cool breeze washed over me. Looking around I say that one of my spare papers had landed on a candle that was on my bed. My bed was completely destroyed.
“Crap.” I said as I looked for any other damage. I didn’t see any so I went into the living room. I sat on the couch and waited for the others to join me.
“Ok, so I guess we’ll leave now.” Lezlie said. And with that, everyone filed out the door. Alex came and sat next to me on the couch. “What were y’all doing exactly?” he asked. I scooted away from him a little more before I answered “We were doing exactly what you thought we were doing.” Then I got up and went into the kitchen. I put a T.V. dinner into the microwave and sat on the counter. The little black, plastic dish swirled around in the machine until the timer dinged. I must be really bored, which I am. So I grabbed it out and resumed my position on the counter, eating to my little tummy’s delight. All the while ignoring Alex. I have to get rid of him, and soon.
.....
I turned over and fell off the bed. I groaned and sat up. Looking around, I remembered that I had to sleep on the couch. How on earth was I gonna afford a new bed? I can barely make enough for rent, let alone a new bed and bed coverings. I looked at the clock and saw that it was noon. It was Saturday so I didn’t really care that it was so late. So I crawled off the floor and looked up to see Alex staring down at me.
“What?” I asked rudely. I mean come on, who stares at people while they’re waking up? He started laughing. He was laughing so hard that he doubled over and almost spilt his coffee.
“You should’ve seen your face when you hit the ground.” He laughed.
“Fuck off.” I grumbled as I went to the bathroom to clean up and such.
Animal by Neon Trees was bumping through the apartment. I waltzed into the living room dancing and singing. I went into the kitchen to see Alex singing and dancing too. I giggled but left to go to the library. I may want to get rid off that boy, but I still have to make time for school work.
.....
After finishing my homework, I got on one of the computers so I could look at the website again. Apparently, the paper that had caught on fire was the list. Just my luck, right? I saw that although there were still a lot of big things that I could do, there were also a bunch of little things I could do to rid Alex out for good under a category called the Little Things. Some of which included putting chips at the bottom of our clean trash can and fishing them out while he’s looking. This would make him think that I was eating out of the trash. I think today would be the perfect day for Operation Little Things.
So as I walked back to my apartment, I went over the things that I would do in my head. This is gonna be good. Hopefully, these little weird things will make him want to move out for sure. So I unlocked the door and walked in.
“Oh hey Arley.” Alex said as he walked into the living room.
“Afternoon good. Today you are how?” I replied. One of the things it said to do was talk backwards. Well, I can’t form actual words backwards but a backwards sentence should do just fine. I watched as confusion crossed his face.
“Umm what?” He asked.
“Think you don’t, having are we day lovely?” I asked as I grabbed some milk out the fridge. I suddenly remembered that another thing that it said would be annoying is to pretend like you’re using the computer in mid air.
“Forgot almost I. Facebook my check to have I.” I said as I set my milk down on the counter. I then acted as though I was opening my laptop and started typing.
“Computer stupid. Being are computers the slow how noticed you haven’t?” I asked him. I turned my head to see him looking at me as though I had grown another head. I smile sweetly and twitched as I turned back to my ‘computer’. I started laughing as though I had read the funniest thing ever.
“Umm ok, well I’m gonna go get in the shower and then into bed. Have fun… doing whatever you’re doing.” He said as he turned to leave.
“Hungry you aren’t? Then night good, ok well.” I said as I fake pouted and twitched.
“Dear lord.” He whispered as he went into our room and shut the door. Oh that was almost too easy.