29 Ways to Get Rid of Your Roommate

Two weeks had passed and I couldn’t do much to Alex because of the brutality of my Midterms. So, instead, I opted to just keep with Operation Little Things for a while. I walked into the apartment and sat on the couch. Alex came and sat down next to me. I grabbed the remote and flipped it to some chick flick. Alex sighed as I pretended to be completely enamored with the piece of mindless entertainment. He sunk further into the couch and I couldn’t help laugh silently. He sure is tough to annoy, but I’ll crack him. That’s when the door bell rang.

“Are you gonna get that?” He asked politely.

I turned and gave him the most deadpan look I could muster before replying “Does it look like I’m gonna get that?” and turned back to the movie. I think it was called Dirty Dancing. In actuality, the more I watched it, the better it seemed. The girl was taking dance lessons and at first I thought it was totally stupid. But then she fell for the instructor and the plot thickened.

“What have I gotten myself into?” Alex muttered to himself as he got up to answer the door. The person at the door must have been very impatient because they kept knocking.

I watched the movie, but listened as the door opened and a familiar voice said, “Why hello Alex dear. How are you?” Oh crap, it’s Mom. “Is Arley here?” her voice sounded light and conversational.

“Of course, right this way.” His voice, however, sounded mischievous. What was he up to? “She’s in the living room.” I looked up as my Mom and Alex walked into the living room. Alex sat by my Mom on the loveseat while I remained on the sofa.

She looked at him and confusion crossed her face. “Umm, Alex dear, I like you and all but why are you sitting over here by me?” she asked.

“Well, it’s because the couch only really likes it when one person sits on it. That and the loveseat felt lonely.” He said ‘innocently’ as he looked at me and smiled.

“Umm ok…?” she replied. “So, how have you two been getting along? Great I presume?”

“Oh yes Madeline, we’ve been getting along great.” He replied with a wink in my direction. Oh he is so dead; I know what he’s doing. He’s bringing my Mom into this. That snake!

“Are you now? Well, that’s great!” my Mom said.

“Yeah, when she’s not having weird rituals to pagan gods and setting her bed on fire, she’s making sure the furniture gets to speak what’s on its mind. She talks to them you know? She has long conversations with them. That’s how I knew the sofa only liked one person on it at a time and that the loveseat was lonely. She told me so. She really is funny.” The more he talked, the more my mother looked shocked. Oh god and I in for it now.

“Really now? Umm Alex dear, could you excuse us for a bit?” I looked at him, but he refused to look at me. Instead he was smirking mischieveously in my mother's direction, but I know it's directed at me.

“Yes Madeline, I can. I have to go see if the bed is suicidal now that his friend is dead. Arley told me to check…”

“Okay Alex, I think you can go.” I said as I interrupted him. He got up and left, all the while with a smirk on his face. Oh I am so getting him back for that.

As soon as the door shut to our room, my mother turned to me. Let’s just say that if looks could kill, I’d be six feet under. “Arley Rebecca Sinclair.” she said. Oh dang, my full name. I’m in deep pigeon poop. “I swear. Are you trying to get him to leave?” She yelled.

“Yeah kinda.” I muttered. I was looking everywhere but at her. “That’s it, pack your bags, you are moving back home.”