Lack of Color.

Erin.

“I really hate texting him for you.”

“But you love me”, I said with a smirk running my finger down Francis arm.

“I thought you don’t believe in love?”

“You know what I mean, dumbass”, I said with a laugh looking at his cocky grin.

“I might have a friend like love towards you and a small amount of lust, especially when you’re wearing just underwear leaving in a bed”, he said looking over at me, licking his lips making me laugh. “But John loves you, is in love with you.”

“Nope”, I said reaching for the bottle of Jack Daniels on the table next to the bed we were on. “He might have the same feelings as you do for me.”

“Nah, not close”, he said grabbing the bottle from my hand and putting it to his lips.

“Spending the night?”

“Yeah, I can’t drive. I love that you have your own place.”

“You can always move in Doll”, he said lighting up a cigarette, inhaling the smoke and blowing it at me.

“I can’t, my parents would freak”, I said grabbing the thing out of his hands and putting it to my lips. “Plus it’s a matter of time before we have sex, and living together would make that awkward.”

“So you’re saying I have a chance of getting in those things?”

I slapped his hand away from my underwear with a laugh. He rolled his eyes before grabbing his carton and lighting up another one.

“I don’t want to have sex with you anyways; you’re too good of a friend.”

“I guess so; I honestly can’t stand your ass.”

He just laughed as I took another swig of the bottle passing it back to him. I got up from the bed, fixing my underwear so it covered my ass. I reached over in my jacket taking something out and holding it close in my hand.

“Going to the bathroom.”

“Sure you are”, he said rolling his eyes.

I just turned around, going straight into the bathroom. I took out the baggy and cut out a straight line on the sink, licking my fingers after the line was set up nicely. I grabbed the dollar bill rolled up and placed it to my nose, sniffing back the line with one swift move over it. I reached for my baggy, making another line before taking that back. I looked at myself in the mirror with my finger going over my gums enjoying the feeling. I rolled my head back and just stared at myself. I tried my hardest to smile, but that never worked. I walked out of the bathroom, placed my things back in my jacket bouncing back on the bed.

“I really regret introducing that to you.”

“What?”

“The devil.”

“I thought that was heroine?”

“Well yeah, I think. Drugs in general are the devil. Strip you from your soul and turn you into nothing.”

“Oh well.”

“You know, you have a problem.”

“How do you figure?” I asked taking the bottle in my hand, downing another big amount.
“You're looking skinny like a model with your eyes all painted black”, he started singing making it hard to pay attention. “Just keep going to the bathroom; always say you'll be right back. Well, it takes one to know one, kid, I think you've got it bad.”

“Enough Conor Oberst”

“I’m just saying, I wish I never showed you.”

I shook my head, leaning back as the sounds of Bright Eyes played on the speakers of his computer. I leaned back, having that familiar feeling overwhelm my body. The colors that were seen behind my eyelids brought a smile to my face. I reached out hoping to catch the different shapes that were floating out in front of me. I let my arm fall with a thud on the blanket; I looked up and saw Francis staring down at me, a sad look on his face.

“Wanna fuck?” I asked with a laugh.

“Sure”, he said sitting still.

I just laughed feeling the color on my cheeks coming back; it was hot as fuck in that apartment. I could feel my skin burning form the heat. I scratched at my skin, hoping it would go away but it just got worst. I watched as Francis got up putting on the fan, making my skin feel better. I stripped out of my clothes and just lay naked on his bed. I could feel his eyes on me, watching my every move. Scared that something was gonna go wrong, if only he knew I was falling apart in front of him.