Status: Revising & Editing
I Believe That You Belong to Me
Chapter Sixteen
Pain, a feeling that can produce physical, emotional, or mental hurt.
My angel… is causing me to feel all of this and nothing else
Acerielle Carter, my angel, the girl I had fallen helplessly in love with, was doomed to do nothing but to break me. I know that now. I never believed in past lives until I met her. But now I am sure that I must have been a cruel and sadistic person in a previous life. No matter how angelic she may look, feel, smell, or even sound, she has done nothing but bring me pain…and she doesn’t even know it.
After our fight, or rather what had felt like a fight, she’d closed off everything to me. Acerielle’s thoughts had run silent on me before, and the silence had been occurring more and more often this past week, but this was different. Instead of silence, there was static in place of her thoughts. Instead of being left immobile, unable to run to her had she felt less than desirable emotions, I felt something worse than not feeling her at all.
I felt numb
The painful kind of numb. I had felt emotional heartbreak multiple times in my lifetime and even more so right before and after I'd befriended Acerielle. I however, had not experienced a physical pain in my heart since I had been turned. It's not beating but it aches. It began to do so the minute she closed the door of my car and ended our so called quarrel.
It has not stopped since.
It’s been three days
I left to our clubhouse after the spat and have been ignoring the calls of my parents, siblings, and unwanted girlfriend ever since. Being left unable to feel my angel has left me unable to even feel myself…she is every part of me and I don’t think I even want to feel if I cannot feel her too.
Maybe I should have just told her. Maybe I should just tell her that I love her and that she is the only one I can see. That I wish to be hers and that I desperately wish she would be mine. Maybe if I finally confessed, the pain would leave and she could tell me what she’s hiding. I want to help her, but she’s stubborn and will not allow it. Could confessing really help? Would things end well like Alice said?
No…I can’t. Alice is unreliable when it comes to Acerielle. My angel can somehow even block herself from Alice’s visions. This is why Alice did not see what had happened to her. This is why I still don’t know exactly what it is that troubles my angel. I know it isn’t just her mother anymore.
I was lying in our clubhouse looking up at the slightly cracked ceiling and trying to ignore the pang in my chest when I caught wind of Alice. I ignored her when she sat beside me on the bed. I should have been angry, I should have felt violated that she would have the nerve to come to the place that only my angel and I were welcome, but…I felt nothing.
“I would say that I feel sorry for you, but I’m done trying to sugar coat things for you, you brought this on yourself. You should have broken up with Bella months ago and you should have told Acerielle how you felt,” I said nothing in response; I only continued to study the cracks in the ceiling.
“Because of you, my best friend is turning into a depressed mad woman and my husband might leave me,” I gave her my attention at that. I had not caught any thought about Acerielle in Jasper’s mind. He did think about her blood a lot, but that was all. For what reason could he possibly have for leaving Alice?
“That is impossible, he would neve-
“Edward, she makes him feel high!!! It isn’t love yet, but he is enamored by her," she exasperated with almost a look of desperation in her eyes.
"Jasper has been very distant for a little while now, I didn’t know why until I invited her to lunch. I’ve been having visions and she already likes him. If you don’t do something…he will. And at this point, I might even help him,” she said looking nothing short of serious.
“You’d be sentencing her to death,” I replied clenching my fists.
“No, I would be helping her achieve happiness.You don’t know what I’ve seen. He would adore her,”
“You would really give him up like that? You like her that much?” My disbelief was tangible, but she only gave a genuine smile.
“I don’t like that she has turned you into a fool, but yes I do. She may be troubled, but she is a sweet girl and if she is what Jasper wants…it would be cruel of me to keep him from her.”
“So you—
“No, Edward I love him! I’d much rather for you to be with her. However, if you don’t come to your senses…”
“I understand,” Alice left after that, leaving me to feel even lower than I had before. The pang in my chest had become a throb; if Jasper was enamored with Acerielle now, how was I supposed to compete?
Instead of continuing to lie down in fear and self-pity, I got off the bed, raced to my car and sped to the Swan residence.
My angel… is causing me to feel all of this and nothing else
Acerielle Carter, my angel, the girl I had fallen helplessly in love with, was doomed to do nothing but to break me. I know that now. I never believed in past lives until I met her. But now I am sure that I must have been a cruel and sadistic person in a previous life. No matter how angelic she may look, feel, smell, or even sound, she has done nothing but bring me pain…and she doesn’t even know it.
After our fight, or rather what had felt like a fight, she’d closed off everything to me. Acerielle’s thoughts had run silent on me before, and the silence had been occurring more and more often this past week, but this was different. Instead of silence, there was static in place of her thoughts. Instead of being left immobile, unable to run to her had she felt less than desirable emotions, I felt something worse than not feeling her at all.
I felt numb
The painful kind of numb. I had felt emotional heartbreak multiple times in my lifetime and even more so right before and after I'd befriended Acerielle. I however, had not experienced a physical pain in my heart since I had been turned. It's not beating but it aches. It began to do so the minute she closed the door of my car and ended our so called quarrel.
It has not stopped since.
It’s been three days
I left to our clubhouse after the spat and have been ignoring the calls of my parents, siblings, and unwanted girlfriend ever since. Being left unable to feel my angel has left me unable to even feel myself…she is every part of me and I don’t think I even want to feel if I cannot feel her too.
Maybe I should have just told her. Maybe I should just tell her that I love her and that she is the only one I can see. That I wish to be hers and that I desperately wish she would be mine. Maybe if I finally confessed, the pain would leave and she could tell me what she’s hiding. I want to help her, but she’s stubborn and will not allow it. Could confessing really help? Would things end well like Alice said?
No…I can’t. Alice is unreliable when it comes to Acerielle. My angel can somehow even block herself from Alice’s visions. This is why Alice did not see what had happened to her. This is why I still don’t know exactly what it is that troubles my angel. I know it isn’t just her mother anymore.
I was lying in our clubhouse looking up at the slightly cracked ceiling and trying to ignore the pang in my chest when I caught wind of Alice. I ignored her when she sat beside me on the bed. I should have been angry, I should have felt violated that she would have the nerve to come to the place that only my angel and I were welcome, but…I felt nothing.
“I would say that I feel sorry for you, but I’m done trying to sugar coat things for you, you brought this on yourself. You should have broken up with Bella months ago and you should have told Acerielle how you felt,” I said nothing in response; I only continued to study the cracks in the ceiling.
“Because of you, my best friend is turning into a depressed mad woman and my husband might leave me,” I gave her my attention at that. I had not caught any thought about Acerielle in Jasper’s mind. He did think about her blood a lot, but that was all. For what reason could he possibly have for leaving Alice?
“That is impossible, he would neve-
“Edward, she makes him feel high!!! It isn’t love yet, but he is enamored by her," she exasperated with almost a look of desperation in her eyes.
"Jasper has been very distant for a little while now, I didn’t know why until I invited her to lunch. I’ve been having visions and she already likes him. If you don’t do something…he will. And at this point, I might even help him,” she said looking nothing short of serious.
“You’d be sentencing her to death,” I replied clenching my fists.
“No, I would be helping her achieve happiness.You don’t know what I’ve seen. He would adore her,”
“You would really give him up like that? You like her that much?” My disbelief was tangible, but she only gave a genuine smile.
“I don’t like that she has turned you into a fool, but yes I do. She may be troubled, but she is a sweet girl and if she is what Jasper wants…it would be cruel of me to keep him from her.”
“So you—
“No, Edward I love him! I’d much rather for you to be with her. However, if you don’t come to your senses…”
“I understand,” Alice left after that, leaving me to feel even lower than I had before. The pang in my chest had become a throb; if Jasper was enamored with Acerielle now, how was I supposed to compete?
Instead of continuing to lie down in fear and self-pity, I got off the bed, raced to my car and sped to the Swan residence.
♠ ♠ ♠
Short very short, I know, just trying to get a hang of this again. Thank you so much to all of those who have actually stayed subscribed to this story.