Going Down In History

"Do you have any idea how fucking scary it is to have the fucking hospital call you and say that your girlfriend is there?!" Chris scolded me and I just took it. I felt a tear slide down my cheek and fall on my hands that were entwined in my lap.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. I couldn't look at him. I had never seen him this mad before, hell, I had barely seen him mad period. The tears were rolling down my cheeks in a steady beat now. He was pacing in front of me and all I could do was stare at his feet.

"You're sorry? You put me through hell tonight and all you can say is your sorry?" He was huffing and running his hand through his disheveled hair.

"What do you want me to say?" I yelled back at him, standing up in the process and make myself clear.

"I don't know. How about groveling? That would be at least a start." His eyes narrowed at me and he crossed his arms over his chest.

"What for going out without you?" I shouted. I was getting fed up with being treated like a kid getting scolded by their parents.

"No, for getting into trouble once I wasn't there to guard you!" He took a deep breath trying to calm himself down. I wish I could do that.

"You're the one that told me to leave in the first place!" I snapped. I saw him bite the corner of his lip to hold back the anger. My breathing quickened and so did my pulse. I wanted to cry and yell at him more, but I didn't want him to see me break down.

"It was for your own good! You'll get nowhere with me." He said the second sentence in a whisper and looked out the window to hide the tears that were streaming down his face.

"You treat me like I'm a kid, Chris." I mumbled almost so he couldn't hear it. He did anyway. He continued to look out the window at the rain that was now pelting it.

"Charlie, you are a kid." He sighed and turned to me, running a hand though his hair again. "I guess I just need to figure things out, ya know?"

"I'm a kid who is madly in love. What do you need to figure out?" I stood up and walked over to him finally. This was the first time we had actually made any sort of progress since he started yelling at me.

"Where I'm going, what I'm going to do for a job, how I'm getting there. You know, the works." He cracked a smile that quickly faded. "I don't want you to be with me just because you feel obligated to."

"I don't feel obligated to be here. I want to be here. Hell anything is better than going back to that lonely dump I used to call home. I want to be with you." I reached out to take his hand and smiled at him.

"Maybe we should take some time apart for a little bit." There goes the rest of my heart.

See he doesn't want you anymore. This was the first time it had spoken since Chris and I started our argument.

"W-Why?" I stuttered, trying to hold back the tears that seemed heavy in my eyes. I dropped his hand and turned away from him, not wanting him to see how it was affecting me.

"Charlie, I love you. We both need to sort this out. Give me a month, I'll call you and you can come back down if you want to. I promise I'm not breaking up with you. I just need to figure this out without such a great distraction."

Right, he's cheating on you. Ha.

"But, I need you. I guess if this is what you really want, I'll stay somewhere else. I'm not leaving San Diego though, I need the money from my job." I felt his arms wrap around my waist and pull me into a hug.

"I love you so much." He mumbled into my hair and kissed my cheek. I could feel him about to cry. I didn't know how, but I could.
He's lying. Don't believe him dumbass.

"I love you too." I just wanted to keep the feeling here forever.

You're pathetic. Great, I was never going to get used to having this thing inside of my head. If only I had never taken that drug, it would've never been created. I'm here for good honey. Great.