I've Got a Secret

Dear God. I can’t believe this boy is talking to me.

Brendon.

Such a beautiful name.

But wait, he isn’t talking to me. He’s talking to Jane.

That’s right. He’s just some straight boy who’s decided to hit on the cute, new, tall, blonde girl.

But it seems that even this thought can’t turn me off to him.

Okay Ryan, snap out of it. You don’t need this now. You don’t need any more drama added to your life. You know nothing good could come of this.

I forced myself to keep my eyes on the chalkboard, attempting to ignore the ongoing war inside my head.

~*~

There was about five minutes left of class when I felt someone tap on my shoulder. I turned to see Brendon slide a piece of paper in front of me. Luckily Spencer didn’t notice.

I glanced down at it, and seven numbers were scrawled across it. My eyes widened and I looked up at him.

Hw winked, then got up from his seat as the bell rang.

I continued to sit there in shock with a hint of excitement.

“What’s that?” Spencer asked, grabbing the paper. I suppose I should have grabbed it and stuffed it in my bag or something, if I didn’t want him to see it instead of sitting there staring at it like a dumb-ass.

His eyes widened then snapped to me when he read it.

“Ryan, you haven’t even been here two hours, and you’re already getting hit on by hot guys? Damn, you aren’t even really that pretty…” He whispered. I gave him a harsh glare for the last comment.

He smirked and handed me the paper, then got up out of his seat, most likely assuming that I was just going to toss the paper, because I was smart and wasn’t going to get myself involved.

“Come on Jane, let’s get to class.” he said.

~*~

I stood at my locker, trying to find my god damned math book, when someone leaned up against the locker next to me. I assumed the person was Spencer, who had stayed after class to talk to the teacher about something I really don’t care about.

“Hey.” The person said. That wasn’t Spencer’s voice… Spence’s isn’t nearly as angelic or wonderful…

I looked up in surprise at the unexpected voice, only to see the boy who had slipped me his number earlier.

He gave me a charming smile, which caused me to blush and look down.

“So,” he started. I looked back up, and he was still smiling. “I was wondering if maybe sometime, I dunno, if you wanted to go out or something?” he asked, seeming a little shy. I stared blankly at him.

Oh no, this isn’t good. Part of me wants to jump up and down in excitement and say yes. But the other part of me knows that that would be a bad idea.

I suppose this is when the little Spencer would appear on my shoulder, telling me to shake my head and walk away, then never speak to him again. Little Spencer tells me to give him his number back, and reject him like a cold heartless bitch.

Then, on the other shoulder, little hormone filled Ryan makes an appearance, telling me to go for it. Take a risk and go on a date with him. Get him to kiss you, then end it before it can go any farther then first base.

“Don’t do it Ryan. It’s taking a huge risk that won’t be worth it in the long run.” Little Spencer says.

“Don’t listen to him. You need some fun in your life. After what happened at the last school, this is what you need. Have a little fun.” Little Ryan said.

“He’s being stupid. Listen to me Ryan, what happens if you’re exposed? You’ll be labeled as a transvestite, and you might as well go back to your old school things would be so bad.”

“Don’t listen to that prude. Go for it man! Look how hot that boy is.” Little horny Ryan said.

“He’s being an idiot. Ryan-“

Will you two just shut up!

I mentally yelled at my two halves.

I think I’ve reached the brink of insanity.

“Um,” I looked up and realized I still hadn’t answered. “Are you going to answer? You could just shake your head you know…” he started.

“She doesn’t date.” Spencer’s voice came out of nowhere, startling me. Suddenly he was standing right next to me.

Brendon turned to Spencer and raised an eyebrow. “I’m sorry, you are…?” he said a little coldly.

“I’m Spencer, and she’s not going out with you.” He said bluntly.

“Why don’t you let her speak for yourself?” he said glaring at him.

“She can’t talk dumb-ass” Spencer said. I smacked his arm and gave him a warning, shut-the-fuck-up look.

He looked offended. “I didn’t mean that literally ass-hole.” I don’t know why you’re being so rude. I don’t even know you!” He said, growing harsher and louder. “Who the fuck are you anyway?”

“It doesn’t matter. Now I suggest you go find some other new girl to stalk.” Spencer spit.

Not literally…

“Look, I don’t know who you think you are, but you can’t make disicions for other people. Now let her answer herself!” he said.

Okay, this is when I get pissed off and storm off. Spencer is being an ass, and I don’t like being pressured.

So I did. I slammed my locker shut and stormed off.