Guiding Lights

I like a peaceful sleep, but lately I haven’t been able to enjoy it. There was always something to worry about. Would I have to do something for the council? How long would I spend doing schoolwork? Would Nick ever take me out somewhere? Would Nick be okay?

I wanted so badly just to curl up into the blankets and Nick, of course, and just rest, but my eyes refused to cooperate and I found myself staring at the wall of his old bedroom. I squinted a little when the dim early sun finally registered, but that was the least of my concerns. When I began to turn over I realized that Nick wasn’t by my side, but rather his spot was empty, and my mind immediately began to race. The first thing I thought of was the time he had gone missing and the image that popped into my mind was enough to make me cringe, but it was just a memory – not a vision – and I found myself able to breathe momentarily. So if we had no present enemies at this moment then where could he be?

I gave a sigh and propped myself up onto my elbows, glancing around the room one more time before even attempting to slide off the bed. I could feel the soreness in my legs from walking and I realized that I wasn’t so used to such a long journey into the village anymore. The past few months seemed like a whirlwind of everything and nothing all at the same time. I didn’t really know if we would ever have a normal routine, but visiting the village was definitely nice.

Now I had to find Nick.

Once I planted my feet onto the floor I brought my hands up to my face, making fists to rub at my eyes roughly. The clock said it was pretty early still, so I figured I would be the only one up for now. I made sure to trudge out of his room and down the hall silently so I didn’t wake anyone, and then begin to stumble a little once I was closer to the door. The sunlight seemed to be even brighter in the living room, causing me to squint my eyes and almost blindly reach for the door handle. I didn’t bother looking through the rest of the house first because I knew he’d be outside somewhere. Instead of finding him, though, when I stepped out the door, I was met with two figures curled up by the door.

“Uh, guys?” I questioned with my still groggy voice. They stirred a little and Ryan even glanced up with eyes half closed. I smiled slightly. “What are you doing?”

Being with Nick had allowed me to learn the skill of reading people since it was so hard to read him at times and, right now, I could see the “oh, crap” look in Ryan’s eyes. I immediately crossed my arms and put on my serious face. He bit his lip in return.

“Why are you sleeping on the ground?”

Ryan gave me a wide eyed stare and look towards his twin, but Russell seemed unfazed and continued to try and fall back asleep. I had to hold back a laugh as I watched Ryan take off his shoe and fling it at Russell, causing him to jump up and glare at his brother with sleepy eyes. It was hard to believe these two were older Nick. Then again, he was completely mature for his age.

“We like sleeping on the ground?” Russell answered, but it was more of a question and a wonder if he could get away with that as an answer. I laughed dryly.

“Nice try. Why are you sleeping on the ground in front of this house?” I questioned more thoroughly, but before either of them could speak – and they did open their mouths simultaneously – I started again. “And where’s Nick?”

“Oh,” Russell breathed, dragging out the word while he stretched. I rolled my eyes at his attempt to stay calm. “We like sleeping on the ground, especially in front of this very house. We’re Nick worshipers.”

It took everything in me not to burst out giggling, especially when Ryan gave him his “are you crazy?” look.

“Okay… so where is Nick, then?”

Ryan’s eyes darted to his brother and then back to me, and then he licked his lips in a rather nervous manner. The nerves in me were awakened now and I stood a little straighter, ignoring the cool breeze of the morning.

“Guys, seriously… where is he?” I didn’t want to sound like his mother or anything and it wasn’t like I had to know where he was at all times, but when he mysteriously disappears and you remember the outcome of this happening before then you obviously want to know where he could have gone.

“Oh, he’s around…” Russell trailed off and though it eased some of my nerves I wasn’t going to settle with just that.

“Around where?”

Russell shut his mouth in a way that told me he was staying closed-lip, so I turned to Ryan in hopes to find an answer in him. He looked a little nervous but still tried to keep his guard. Too bad I knew how to use my magic. But first I’d give them a little warning.

“You can tell me where he is willingly or I can make you tell me; either way, I’ll find out.”

Ryan’s shoulders slumped a little and he even seemed to gulp. Was I intimidating? I couldn’t help thinking about how awesome that was, but only for a moment, and then I raised my eyebrows and shifted my weight with my arms still crossed. But he still didn’t budge. Fine.

I sighed again and dropped my arms lazily beside me, keeping my focus on the boy in front of me. I tried to focus all my thoughts on making him tell me where Nick was and, after a moment, he gave a giant sigh and flopped back a little. Success.

“Okay, fine,” he caved, obviously unable to resist. I caught a glimpse of Russell rolling his eyes and then flopping his own self back, too. “We were sleeping on the ground out here because Nick told us to guard you –”

“Why?” It was reflex to interrupt, especially when you hear “Nick told us to guard you.” What did that mean? Was Coimbra back? Was that new person a threat? Or worse… was Jeremy back? My heart almost stopped.

“Well,” he started, glancing over to Russell, “we actually aren’t too sure. He and Sean left right away –” And there was my interrupting “why?” again, but a little more frantic this time. “There was sort of a… disturbance, of you will.”

Oh, no. I did not need this to happen. I could be jumping the gun, of course, but assumptions were the only thing I could resort to right now.

“What do you mean? What disturbance?” I leaned forward a little and began to chew on my bottom lip, waiting for more information.

“I honestly don’t know, Lonnie,” he sighed. My heart practically sunk to my stomach and I started to feel sick again. “Sean rushed over in the middle of the night and said that there was something close by, so Nick insisted on going and that we stay here and make sure you’re safe.” I’m sure he could see the way my face practically went pale because he was quick to continue talking. “But you don’t have to worry, okay? I’m sure he’s fine and that it’s nothing. You know how protective Nick is of you –”

“Yeah,” Russell interrupted with a snort, bringing my attention over to him. “I think he’d make it so you can’t even get a paper cut if he could.” I pursed my lips to keep from smiling and glanced down to my feet with burning cheeks, feeling just a little bit better. But that didn’t mean my worries were gone.

“Shouldn’t he have been back by now? How long ago did he leave?”

Instead of getting an answer from Ryan I received a comedic comment from Russell. “Nick’s wifey checking up on him,” he grinned and though it was embarrassing and enough to make me smile, I turned away from him and waited for Ryan.

“Uh, a few hours ago…”

“A few hours?” I practically squealed with wide eyes. Maybe I was being a little dramatic, but how was I supposed to know what was happening? This thought was troubling, but one even more so suddenly hit me. Why hadn’t I seen this in a vision? Why didn’t I dream about someone coming back and Nick and Sean chasing them? Come to think of it, I really hadn’t had many dreams or visions lately. The only thing I saw was that baby wolf and I had no clue what that meant.

“Hey, calm down –” Russell tried while raising his hand up, but I paid no mind to it and began to step forward. Ryan caught my ankle and, after almost falling but managing to stay upright with surprise, I glared down at him expectantly.

“Where are you going?” he asked quickly. I tried to yank my ankle away, but to no avail. I huffed.

“I’m going to go find Nick, that’s where I’m going.” I tried to step forward again, shaking my foot loose from his grasp, but he practically lunged forward and locked himself onto my legs. I gasped and fell forward, my focus not acting to catch myself before I hit the dirt ground. My palms immediately stung and the fall made my stomach jump up to my throat… or maybe it was just that unusual feeling I had been getting lately. Either way, I was not happy. “Ryan!” I practically hissed, but I couldn’t be terribly mad at him. He was just trying to follow Nick’s orders, I guess.

“Good going, idiot,” Russell shot towards his brother while scrambling to his feet to kneel by my side. I blew the hair out of my face and managed to lift myself up on wobbly arms, turning to glance at Ryan as he spoke with a red face.

“I-I’m sorry… it’s just – Nick said to make sure she was safe. How is letting her run off to go find him keeping her safe?”

They both moved to help me up. Usually I’d object, but I felt a little dizzy and I decided that standing with their help without having to explain anything was the best bet at the moment. I didn’t even have time to ask them my next question, only focusing in the new dirt stains stationed right on the knees of my pajamas. The twins were arguing enough to not notice what Nick would have, especially with the way I knew my face was twisting. I hadn’t eaten yet, but I felt like I was about to drop from weakness. It mostly passed before I could dwell on it, leaving my worries to be on Nick when I finally pulled away and silenced the boys.

“You really don’t know where he is?” They shook their heads. “What if he gets hurt? I mean, how am I supposed to help him?”

“If he got hurt you’d see it, right?” Russell questioned while trying to hold back a yawn. I bit down on the inside of my cheek. “It isn’t set or anything, but you usually see things like that.”

This was true… for the most part. Why hadn’t I seen Nick leave? That wasn’t very troublesome because I didn’t exactly get visions of everything, so maybe I would see if he got hurt. That meant he was perfectly fine, right?

I wanted to gulp.

“Look,” Ryan sighed, his cheeks still red. “Why don’t you just go back inside and get cleaned up? I’m sure Nick and Sean will be back soon enough.”

That was a logical thought, but nothing was ever really logical with me. Still, I gave him a short nod and began to turn around slowly, taking my time to breathe. This wasn’t as big as I was making it out to be, I was sure. Maybe it was a false alarm and they decided to do some sort of patrol again. Or maybe it was the new person they had announced that turned out to be not so harmful. There were so many possibilities and my head began to spin, most likely from a mixture of things. Ryan was right; Nick and Sean would be back soon.

Now if only I could relax a little.

I sighed and began to trudge back to where I had come from once I entered the house, bit I paused by the kitchen, becoming tempted by just the thought of food. Maybe I had just felt like puking but that wasn’t going to stop me from eating. The next problem was whether or not I wanted to sit in the kitchen and eat alone. I could wake up Joe, but then he’d want to talk about things and I wasn’t exactly sure what those things would be. What if he tried to ask me if I was okay again? What if he was interested in that baby wolf I had told him about?

I clasped my hands in front of me and started my slow walk down the hall and towards his bedroom. Joe wasn’t an uncomfortable person to be around so I didn’t feel too bad about slowly opening his door and peeking in. He was asleep, of course, with his mouth open and his arm hanging off the bed. His snoring was easily heard, but it wasn’t enough to be disturbing. I kept the door open behind me and tiptoed across the room, kneeling myself down beside his bed. I took a good look at him and smiled a little when I saw some drool on his chin, but I didn’t want to startle him with my laugh. I poked him instead. He barely twitched when my finger made contact with his bare arm, so I repeated my action to his side with a little more force.

Joe’s eyes shot open and he practically plopped off the bed, barely holding onto the blankets to keep himself upright. I covered my mouth with my hand and let out a little giggle, unsure of my actions now. What was the big deal about eating alone? Staring at Joe and his bewildered expression, I found myself wondering whether or not that was the real issue. Maybe I wanted to talk about things… things I was unsure of. Maybe Joe was the ear I needed so I wouldn’t worry Nick or explain things to him wrongly. Maybe I was confused.

“Sorry, Joe,” I whispered quickly, biting my lip in waiting for his response. His eyes finally settled on me, giving me a look to say that he hadn’t even noticed me there. But then he gave a tired smile and sat himself up a little more, obviously not upset about my intrusion.

“It’s cool,” he yawned, but then his face scrunched up with confusion. “What are you doing up so early?”

“It really isn’t that early…” I glanced towards the clock on his wall almost nervously, taking in the numbers that read 7 am. Okay, so maybe it was a little early, but it wasn’t unusual to be up. “And I just… I don’t know,” I shrugged. My eyes darted towards the floor beneath me when I started to stand back up, but I paused a moment to catch his curious gaze.

“Where’s Nick?”

I wish I actually knew.

“Apparently he went on a chase.” I gave him a slight crooked smile, but I knew it didn’t really reach my eyes. Joe, however, was amused.

“He is such a dog,” he chuckled with his hand ruffling his messy hair and his wink leaving me to believe that he was insinuating more than one thing. I blushed without control. “Something wrong?” I noticed the sudden shift in his mood and I gave him another weak smile, scrunching up my nose a little.

“No, I was just hungry and I didn’t want to eat alone.”

Joe gave me a long look but, unlike Nick, he grinned and patted his stomach. “I’m pretty starved myself. Let’s go raid the fridge.”

My smile was thankful while I watched him rise out of bed and move towards the door. I followed him and we both quietly made our way back to the kitchen, only myself pausing to glance through the window to see if Nick had come back. No such luck. I flickered my eyes back over to Joe, who was now rummaging through the fridge, and took a few steps into the kitchen so I could sit up on the counter next to him. I hadn’t ‘bonded’ with Joe much, and it wasn’t because Nick would get jealous – even though he profusely denied it – rather than the fact that I didn’t know quite how to go about it. Joe was so easy to get along with, that much was obvious, but maybe the old tension that he and Nick had still lingered and I felt as if I didn’t want to get in the middle of them. Nick had told me once before that I had solved most of their differences, but you just don’t let years of bottled up feelings go in one night. I guess that was one of the biggest things I had learned.

“Muffin, yogurt, waffle, or…” Joe trailed off with his head still in the fridge, “cereal?” He popped his head out and looked up at me from his crouched position, his eyes light with permanent amusement, it seemed.

“Tough decision,” I joked lightly, and I was happy that my tone was getting back to normal. “Umm… muffin.”

“You have a thing for muffins,” Joe noted with a smirk, and then he handed me one. I grabbed it quickly with a grin just like a child would. “I bet you think Nick is a studly muffin.”

I glanced up from the chocolaty breakfast item in my hand and raised my eyebrows, unable to stop the slight giggle from escaping my lips. My legs dangled over the counter with the heels of my feet thudding against the cabinets softly, and I nodded with shy admittance. He laughed.

“No surprise there, little sister.” He gave me one of his bright smiles and plopped his back up against the closed fridge to eat his own muffin while a slow silence crept over us. It took everything in me to keep my mouth shut and pick at the muffin, but suddenly I wasn’t feeling so hungry. With a sigh and a slump of my shoulders I dropped my hands down to my lap and held the barely picked at muffin there. This caught Joe’s attention. “What’s the matter with you?” I widened my eyes with shock.

“Nothing,” was my defensive response, but he chose to ignore my tone.

“You aren’t eating chocolate, Lonnie. Are you sick?” He lifted his hand up to my forehead and I slapped it away playfully, but the twisting feeling in my stomach returned. I wasn’t sick; maybe I just needed to get things off my chest. Maybe Joe could be someone I could confide in when Nick wasn’t around. Or, maybe for some unknown reason, I was afraid to tell Nick what I was feeling – whatever that exactly was.

“Umm…” How do you start to say something when you have no clue what it is that you want to say? “I just… haven’t been feeling like myself lately.” That was true, wasn’t it? I really hadn’t felt like my old self. I was married – that was obviously a change – but then I was so wrapped up and school and worrying about Nick constantly (more than I really even needed to), and I had been feeling… well. There were all those possibilities, but I still couldn’t find the answer.

My sight took in every movement Joe made; when he slouched farther against the fridge and then stood a little straighter, only to move closer and slouch again, and then when he began to eat his muffin again and chew thoughtfully while still staring at me. I wondered what he was thinking. He wasn’t nearly as hard to read as Nick, but understanding Joe was another story.

“Well, that’s not much of a surprise,” he shrugged. I was a little shocked by his reply, especially since he carried on eating like my confession was just a random sentence. “I mean, you are only sixteen and you’re already married and all that junk, ya know?”

Not exactly. So I questioned, “all that junk?” He seemed like he was going to pause for a moment, but tilted his head and jutted his eyebrows up instead.

“Sex and stuff with my little brother.”

Oh my – if I were eating still I would surely choke.

My mouth fell open a little and the heat didn’t waste any time rushing to my face. His gaze on me was one of no surprise and he obviously wasn’t fazed by his own words or my reaction and embarrassment, so I quickly closed my mouth and looked down at the muffin.

“You’re growing up pretty fast,” he continued, “and you aren’t used to it like Nick was… even though he really wasn’t at first, either. But my point is that things are different now.”

“But that isn’t what I mean,” I mumbled lowly. My feet thumped against the counter again, the sound mixing with my sigh. “I know those two things make me a more mature person, I guess, but that isn’t what I’m feeling.”

“What are you feeling then?” He gave me a confused expression while pushing himself away from the fridge and turning to get into it again. I watched him pull out a carton of orange juice and lift it up with a questioning eyebrow raise, to which I nodded to.

I leaned forward and to the side a little when he stood in front of me, allowing him to access the cupboard behind my head. I didn’t really know the answer to the question, but I tried anyway. “I just feel stressed, I guess,” I started, moving back to my original spot when he moved to the free counter beside me to set the glasses on, “but it’s different.”

“Different how?” I focused on the juice pouring into the glasses, trying to distract myself a little. I could sense the uneasy feeling in me rising again, almost making me feel queasy. How could I describe that Joe? He would go and tell Nick and then I would be in a deep hole with him. Not only would he be worried that I felt this way and upset that I didn’t tell him, but he’d be jealous that I confided in Joe. The thought almost made me giggle, but I really wasn’t in the mood.

“It feels like it’s all too much.” There, that was good. I rubbed my eyes with my fist and used my free hand to offer him my muffin, which he gladly took in exchange for a glass of juice. “Like, how I told you about those drawings? I haven’t done much with it, but it kind of bothers me because I don’t know where it came from. And then there’s school and I want to move in with Nick…” My voice trailed off because I really didn’t know how else to explain it without saying what I really didn’t understand.

“You said you were stressed, right?” I nodded. “And you said there wasn’t anything else to it?” That’s where I froze up. He took a sip of his juice and set the glass on the counter, leaving his arms to cross over his chest while he stepped closer to me. “Is there?” he questioned, and I glanced up into his eyes. There’s was something to Joe, like there was to Nick, that made me want to trust him.

“I don’t know. I think there might be more to it, but I don’t say anything to Nick because –”

“He likes to worry,” he chuckled, “I get it. But if you have a real reason for him to worry then it isn’t so bad.”

“I don’t want to get him worked up over nothing…”

He was silent for a moment, leaving his lips pursed and his eyes thoughtful, and then he spoke with a quieter tone. “Is there something that he should get worked up over? Is something going on?”

I wasn’t quite sure.

“Not really –”

“But there is something,” he interrupted. “Otherwise you would have just said no.” Another short moment of silence led to him speaking again. “Do you need to talk about something?” I was beginning to feel bad that I might’ve told Joe and not Nick, and I think he sensed that. “You don’t have to tell me or even feel bad if you did. I know how Nick can be, trust me, but I also know that he’d want you to find help with any sort of problem even if he couldn’t be part of the solution.”

I knew this to be true. Nick only wanted the best, no matter what that was, so the only problem was whether or not I would say it or not. Was I really that concerned about my feelings? The drawing? Was there more?

Whatever it was, my mouth ran off before I could really understand what I was saying. “I’m worried about moving in with Nick.”

“Really?” He asked as if maybe he didn’t quite believe me, but at the same time he was relieved that this was all I was worried about. I just gave him a shy smile and glanced down to my hands, not ready to add more about anything else. Part of me just wanted to keep it at that and not mention the returning sick feeling. It would go away, I was sure. “Wow, well… do you not want to –”

“Of course I do!” I blurted out quickly, maybe with a little too much excitement. I calmed myself. “I was sort of the one who acted on it first and I want to, I do, I guess I’m just nervous… you know? I mean, this is sort of a big change. We’ve been married for a few months now, but now he’ll always be there when I wake up and he’ll always be there when I go to sleep, and he’ll... well, we’ll live together. It’s exciting and nerve-racking at the same time because it sort of makes me feel like we’re normal, you know? Like things are good…” I wanted them to stay that way.

“So are you worried that things are going to change between you?” I glanced up to meet his eyes and, in that moment, I guess I realized that maybe that was part of the case. I licked my lips, nodding slowly at him. “Everything changes, that’s the inevitable. But the thing you can always count on is your love for each other. I have never seen my brother as happy as he is with you and in pure honesty I do believe that, without you, he wouldn’t even be fully capable of happiness. So, not only do us as his, and now your, family want to thank you… but we want to believe in you. You’re soul mates, remember? I’m not an expert with this stuff, but I’m pretty sure that means you and Nick will be together no matter what. He and you can get through anything.”

I didn’t want to degrade Joe by thinking that I would have never expected him to say something like that, but I was completely surprised and, at this point, emotional. I don’t know what it was, but his words hit something in me and I found myself wanting to cry.

“Thanks, Joe,” I managed to whisper with a real smile and he hugged me. I hugged him back the best I could and shut my eyes tight, allowing myself the chance to just breathe for the moment. “Thanks.”

I couldn’t deny that I felt a little better after talking with Joe and now I could relax a little and forget about everything that was troubling me. He suggested that I go and cleaned up now because he knew Nick would want to go back not long after he returned from whatever it was he was doing. I wanted to be worried, but I decided to just let it go. He was fine, just like Ryan and Russell had said. So, I did just that.

But while I was trying to comb through my wet knotted hair, my ears perked up and I immediately peeked my head out of the room. Once I saw that familiar set of curls I stopped what I was doing and practically ran towards the door, pushing myself out of it and then shutting it quickly behind me. Ryan, Russell, and Nick glanced up. So where was Sean?

Nick looked up at me the moment I stepped out and, from his facial expression; I could tell he was a little nervous. Great.

“What?” I asked almost immediately, not even really caring that half of my hair was still somewhat knotted. I didn’t give him a chance to answer before I shook my head and shot off another question. “Where were you? What the heck were you after?”

Nick’s eyes shot towards the twins that were standing to his left, narrowing down a little while Ryan’s eyes widened. “Dude, she made me tell her… literally.”

“I did,” I agreed, slowly stepping forward, “but they didn’t know what was going on so I –” I stopped midsentence with my mouth still parted and spotted something glistening on his bare arm – more than one thing glistening. Tilting my head and taking a better glance at it I realized that there were scratches on his skin – more like gashes – on his skin, bleeding. A short gasp escaped my lips. “What did you…?”

Nick glanced down to where my eyes were and immediately shifted so I couldn’t see his arm, even standing up a little taller in a defensive mode. I practically glared.

“Nick,” I said lowly, “what happened to your arm?” Ryan and Russell seemed to disappear at that moment, slowly creeping away from us to go out towards the trees behind the house. Nick sighed.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? You’re bleeding!” My voice was strained with alarm and before he could even say anything else I was by his side, grabbing at his hand. He made no attempt to stop me, but he did argue.

“It’s nothing, Lonnie, really,” he tried, but another sigh – a louder one – was let out when he realized that I wasn’t going to listen to that. I grabbed his arm instead and pulled it up to my face, studying the bloodied and dirtied wound.

“You obviously didn’t get scratched by a tree, so don’t give me that,” I murmured while stealing a quick glance at his face. I had many scratches by trees in my time, now, so I knew for sure.

“Like I said,” he started lowly again, “it’s nothing.” He began to pull his arm away but I only tightened my grip, giving him the best stern look I could muster. He practically rolled his eyes.

“So… what, then? Were you wresting around with Sean?”

“No,” he growled a little; I hadn’t realized that he would be agitated. What had gone on? “And I think you just need to calm down.” Look who’s talking.

“I’m calm!” I blurted out, only to receive a narrowed stare from him. “I am.”

“You’re not,” he corrected. I gripped his arm a little tighter, trying to stop the bleeding that was still occurring.

I didn’t think before I muttered, “How would you know?” So I was glad that he actually laughed a little, causing me to glance back up at his now-soft features.

“You seem to be forgetful. I feel what you feel, remember?” I felt a blush creeping onto my cheeks when his words sunk in and I knew he was right. I never seemed to remember that.

“Yeah, well,” I mumbled, gently brushing my fingertips over the parts of the cuts that weren’t bleeding; he flinched, but just a little. It looked sore. “I wish I could feel what you feel. You have no idea how much easier that would be.”

“Lonnie,” he whispered, and I looked up immediately. His eyes were so warm then, so soft and gently, and I almost allowed my body to just drop because staring into them made me feel that odd giddy feeling again. And then, in a chuckling tone, he said, “You wouldn’t want to feel what I feel… all the good and bad.”

I furrowed my eyebrows and took a moment to study him, realizing that my fingertips were still lightly brushing against his skin. He stared back at me with that same look, but an expression more serious this time, and I wondered.

“Why not?”

“You don’t need to feel bad things,” he said, and then he gently placed his other hand on top of mine to halt my actions before I could touch the blood.

“And the good? Why not that?” His fingers clasped around my hand warmly and it took everything in me not to just lean up and kiss those lips that were right in front of my face, practically whispering against my skin.

“Well,” he breathed in an almost shy manner, “that would be embarrassing.”

“Embarrassing for you or me?” I could feel a smile wanting to stretch across my face. His own lips even twitched.

“For me,” he whispered, and I felt him lean in then. I was so eagerly anticipating a kiss, but he decided to be a tease and stop just short of my lips with a slight smirk fixing at the corners of his.

“Why? Are you feeling things you shouldn’t be feeling?” I bit my lip out of reflex because, if I didn’t, I would end up smiling stupidly at the little blush that met his skin.

“You’d’ like to know, wouldn’t you?” he mocked slightly, but I could tell that he really wasn’t going to announce whether this was true or not. I raised my eyebrows.

“I wish I could read your mind all the time and not just when you’re a wolf.” This got him to laugh and pull his hand away from mine, leaving the cuts and blood bare.

“No, absolutely not,” he chuckled, and his smile was more than adorable. “It’s bad enough that you can read my mind when I’m a wolf.”

“Are you thinking things you shouldn’t be feeling, then, too?” I giggled. I leaned myself forward and swung my arms around his neck, allowing myself to lean against his chest, forcing him to support my weight – which he did easily.

“I don’t how that’s determined,” he murmured, “but I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t be any of your business.” My mouth dropped open a bit, causing his smirk to widen and the creases around his mouth to become so prominent that I thought he’d actually show his teeth while smiling. Not quite, though.

“Excuse me? I think it is my business; you are my business.”

“I’m your business?” he inquired gently.

I nodded. “And even though I’m pretty much dying to know what you’re thinking, I’m also really interested in what you were doing that could possibly hurt you.” I glanced back down to his arm at the same time he did, knowing that he was about to tell me. He shrugged, keeping silent for a moment, but then his eyes locked mine and he licked his lips slowly.

“I’m not hurt,” he whispered, but I shook my head before he could even get all the words out.

“Maybe it doesn’t hurt, but it doesn’t mean I can’t see you bleeding. Something happened and I want you to tell me.”

“Lonnie –” he tried, but I wouldn’t have it.

“I care about you so much, Nick. I just want to know what happened.” He almost looked guilty now that he had heard my whispered words. I wondered how he could possibly not understand how much I did care for him and love him. It had to be obvious; he was just stubborn and couldn’t get used to the idea, I guess. Even now that we were married there still seemed to be parts of us that couldn’t believe it. “So how about I get you cleaned up and then you can explain to me where your little wolfbutt went to get you scratched up– ” I stopped my words for a moment and peeled my eyes away from his face to scan the rest of him, “– and dirty,” I added.

He allowed me to pull him back into the house and towards the bathroom without hesitation, both of us still being careful not to make too much noise. Half of me was worried about what had happened, but the other half wanted to listen to Nick and think it was no big deal. Whatever it was, he had handled it… right?

I glanced over my shoulder to see Nick shut the door behind him once we entered the bathroom, our gazes meeting once he turned around. His expression seemed soft and warm and that familiar feeling washed through me. Nick could always make me feel things even though I was the one who could manipulate, but the worst part was that he could actually feel it, too. It wasn’t a new thing, but having the idea pop into my head was a little embarrassing. Maybe that’s why he didn’t really like phasing when I was around; he didn’t exactly want me listening to his thoughts.

Oh, well.

“Would it be okay if I used this towel?” I asked softly once I was able to tear my gaze away from him and motion towards the cloth I was talking about.

“Yeah,” he whispered in return, ad he even obliged by moving away from the sink so I could dampen it. I turned the faucet on and waited for the water to get warm, smashing my lips together gently and turning my head to face him. Was he going to tell me what happened or not?

“Sit,” I said lowly, and he actually did as I said with only a moment of hesitation. He slowly plopped himself down on top of the toilet seat, turning his gaze down to his arm. The cuts looked a little worse in this dim light and I winced. Why was Nick always the one getting beaten and bruised? I was the only other one who had gotten hurt in a fight, but he had many more injuries then I ever did. And still he never complained. I pulled the rag from underneath the warm water with a sigh and crouched down at his side, staring down intently and the bloodied mess on his arm. “Gonna’ tell me what happened?”

I placed the towel gently on his arm and pushed down a little, slowly trying to wipe the blood off without hurting him too badly. I watched his jaw tighten the slightest before he shifted a little, looking away from what I was doing.

“And you better not say ‘nothing’.”

“I’m sure Ryan told you most of it,” he said, and I nodded. “Sean came to me with a disturbance –”

“Disturbance?” His eyes darted across my face so I quickly shut my mouth.

“He said that there was something coming around. I told Ryan and Russell to guard you, but he wouldn’t have gotten to you anyway.” His words were quicker at the end, reassuring me. But I wasn’t worried about myself.

“Nick, I’m not worried about me. I’m worried about what happens to you…” I hadn’t realized that my actions had halted once my eyes met his, so I quickly began to work at getting him cleaned up again, but something bothered me. “Who’s he?”

He tilted his head down at that moment and I could see him lick his lips, making me pause again. I could tell this wasn’t going to be good news and he could tell that I knew.

“Just… calm down,” he first began, but that didn’t help at all. If anything I was even more nervous now. “It was – we were making sure he didn’t come through. He tried to attack Sean and I intervened, that’s how I got these scratches. But he ended up getting away.”

I think I had a pretty good feeling who this ‘he’ was now.

“Who?”

He opened his mouth, only to snap it closed quickly with a wince and a grab of my hand. I twisted my mouth with an apologetic expression, carefully pulling away from his grasp so I could see the gashes more clearly; they looked a little deeper without all the blood covering it.

“Coimbra,” he answered suddenly and I almost didn’t even take in the words.

I think I knew that he would come back around at some point, but actually hearing that Nick had seen him – had been hurt by him once again – made things a little more real; I didn’t like it. And he said it so casually, too, like it didn’t mean anything. At least it wasn’t Jeremy.

He could sense my want to speak and see the way my lips began to part, prompting him to interrupt before I began. “We’ll get him next time.”

“And then what?” I was surprised by how emotional my voice suddenly was. I didn’t understand why things had to come back. Why couldn’t we just stay in the present and forget about the past? Lucas had come back after the first time, but now that he was gone we still had to worry about Jeremy and Coimbra. Would there ever be a time where we didn’t have to think about things that had passed? “What do you expect to do once you catch him?”

“Lonnie, I know where you’re getting at –”

“No, Nick. You really don’t. He could’ve killed you; Jeremy could’ve killed you. You could so easily get hurt, I just don’t understand why we can’t just move forward,” I breathed quickly, folding the blood-covered towel up and standing up straight again, “you know?”

When I turned towards the sink I felt something rush through me, almost causing me to buckle forward. I had to catch the counter to stop myself while the feeling kept rushing through. I didn’t know what it was or why it was happening, but I didn’t like it. It made me wonder if something was wrong with me…

“What’s wrong?” Nick’s voice murmured out, but it sounded so far away. “Lonnie,” he said lowly, and that’s when I snapped out of it. I shook my head and blinked a few times, leaving my hands to clutch at the counter while turning to glance at him and his worried expression. He was standing now, his eyes burning into me with many emotions, but I didn’t know what to say.

“Nothing’s wrong,” I half lied. I wasn’t really sure anymore.

He stood there for a long moment and just looked at me and I looked right back. Neither of us said a word or really moved and, for a moment, I wondered if he thought I was lying. Couldn’t he feel it if I were sick, though? Did he not feel that these rushes of unknown were through me?

He took a slow step forward; silently telling me that I was done messing around with his wounds for now, and placed his hands on my face. I stared up at him with parted lips and a want to just be close to him. I thought that he would delve into what he had just seen moments ago, me clutching to the counter like my life depended on it, but he didn’t. It surprised me and made me happy at the same time.

“I think we should get you back to your dad’s. We have a lot of things to talk about if we’re going to be moving in together.”

A wide smile immediately took over my lips and he seemed to mirror me, but with a smaller one. His eyes glowed with amusement, the chocolate brown color seeming almost a little lighter, like they were holding a gold that only shown through when he was a wolf. He was so beautiful.

“I love you,” I sighed with my arms snaking around his neck. I gently pulled him towards me enough to rest my forehead against his, even pushing my body to lean on him while keep my feet somewhat behind me. He held me up with ease and dropped his hands from my face to slide around my waist, leaving me to feel tingly.

“And I love you.” He craned his neck forward and captured my lips slowly, giving me a short kiss that still seemed more than satisfying. “Let’s go.”

[ G L ]

I couldn’t stop laughing even though Nick really wasn’t amused, especially since he was now forced top pick popcorn out of his hair while I kept throwing it at him.

“Would you quit?” he groaned, but the twitch of his lips gave him away. I smirked.

“Don’t be a baby.”

“Don’t be immature,” he retorted. I glared, but only playfully, and flung a handful of popcorn at him. He pursed his lips and shut his eyes, flinching when the popcorn hit most of his face. “Do that one more time and see what happens.”

“Oooh, I’m so scared of you,” I giggled again, grabbing another handful of popcorn but popping them into my mouth instead of against his face. He eyed me carefully. “You’re like my cuddly little puppy, Nick.”

His heavy sigh and deflated chest made me laugh even harder, causing me to almost choke. “For the last time, I’m not your puppy.”

“No?” I picked up another piece of popcorn and placed it at my lips, popping it in and going for another piece once I realized that his eyes were glued to my actions. “Do you think you’re getting old enough just to be my dog?”

“Ha, ha, ha,” he mocked in a high pitch with his curls shaking when he nodded his head. I couldn’t help it – I snorted. This seemed to bring on major amusement for him, but I just couldn’t bring myself to be embarrassed. “I’m not your pet.”

“How many times will we go over this?” I took the bowl off my lap and placed it beside me, crossing my legs and sliding myself up against the back of the couch in one motion so I could face him a little better. “You, Nicholas Jonas, are my very own adorable wolf-boy. Now, if you think you can handle it, you can be my wolf-man.”

He tilted his head and gave me a blank stare with his eyes, making me laugh even more. I’d start choking on my spit now if I wasn’t careful.

“But, don’t worry,” I breathed while leaning in closer; he didn’t move away. “You’ll always be my puppy.” I didn’t give him a chance to say anything or even move before I placed my lips on his for a quick kiss. I don’t think I could ever get over the feeling of such a simple act; there was nothing like being close to him – inhaling his scent with my eyes closed and my lips on his soft ones. When I pulled back I couldn’t stop staring and smiling at him, making him laugh lightly with embarrassment.

“What?” he chuckled a little nervously, even shifting so he could get a better look at me.

“You’re just really attractive.” I should’ve been embarrassed by saying that – Nick was – but I couldn’t bring myself to be. Just staring at him was a beautiful thing. He gave me a shy glance and turned his gaze back towards the TV, slowly wrapping his arm around my waist to pull me into his side. I craned my neck up to press my lips to his jaw, lingering for a moment longer with new thoughts.

When I pulled back and slouched a little he immediately looked at me. His eyes were questioning because he knew something was on my mind, and I smiled.

“Can I ask you a question?” I almost laughed when he gave me that soft familiar smile.

He shifted towards me a little more and propped his elbow on the side of the couch to hold his head up, saying smoothly “I guess so.”

“Umm…” I pushed the hair out of my face and glanced up at the ceiling, blocking out the low volume of the TV. “Do you… find me attractive?” It was an odd and random question, I knew that, but I was curious.

His curious gaze held confusion and wonder, but he didn’t hesitate to answer. “Yes, I think you’re beautiful.”

His words gave me butterflies and I appreciated him thinking I was beautiful – it made me blush, but I wondered a little bit if that’s all he thought of me.

“What about more than that, though?” He was back to confusion. “Like…” I trailed off, biting my lip and shooting my gaze to the TV. Almost conveniently I saw a group of blond girls dressed in short skirts and tight shirts at a club. “Do you find me attractive like you would them?” I said, and I motioned towards the TV. He knitted his eyebrows together but glanced to the screen to see what I meant, allowing me to pull up my knees in a sort of secure manner.

“I don’t find them attractive,” was what he said. I didn’t expect that, and boy was I glad, but my question still stood.

“No?” I took another look at the girls and then back to his honest face. “A lot of guys do, though. So, if you did, would you say that I could be just as attractive as them?”

“Lonnie,” he laughed lightly, even leaning forward a little to rest his elbows on his thighs, “where are you getting at?”

I shrugged. “I’m just curious about how you see me.”

“Don’t start this again,” he practically warned, but his features still held softness. I had to laugh.

“I’m not, I’m not!” I defended quickly, raising my hands up. He brought his own hand up and rested our palms together, twisting our fingers until my hand was locked with his.

“Then why are you asking? I try to tell you that you’re beautiful, but it’s hard for me…” I knew it was for him to express any kind of feeling, but he was getting better at it and that wasn’t a concern.

“I know,” I smiled, “and you make me feel special all the time. I was just curious, that’s all…”

I think he hoped that, since it was silent now, I would drop it. He kept his gaze down to my lap and grazed his thumb over my skin, calming me enough to make me feel a little drowsy. But then he looked up and he saw that I was waiting for him to speak, and he sighed.

“I already told you that I think you’re attractive.”

“But is it, like, pretty-attractive or sexy-attractive?”

His eyes widened just a little bit and he parted his lips enough to roll his tongue of the bottom one. I shifted myself a little so one of my knees was pointing up while my leg rested on my other one, allowing my head to fall against the back of the couch.

“Both…” he trailed slowly, embarrassed rather than unsure. My smile definitely widened.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he breathed honestly. I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his, even smiling and laughing a little against them. “You’re a young woman and I think – I think of you as that more and more lately. We’ve grown up a lot together in the past year and there’s many more to come, so who knows what’ll happen.”

“I love you.” My lips brushed against his when I said the words and I noticed that his eyes lit up a bit.

“I… I don’t know if I’ve ever directly said this,” he whispered while he eyes slowly roamed my face, “but I am excited to really get to spend my life with you. And I think that, by moving into together, we’re finally there.”

I didn’t know why; maybe it was the way he whispered the words so gently with laced emotions, or maybe because of the words themselves, but I found myself with tears in my eyes and a smile that had to tell him everything.

There was a moment, between the happy feelings of his words and the awe of just staring at him, that I had this warmth wash through me. It wasn’t the warmth that Nick gave me, but it was similar in ways and it almost scared me. I could feel it deep down in the pit of my stomach and the beat of my heart. It was an impulse to decision to stand, the action – or something else – making me dizzy, and Nick was quick to stand, too. I tried to reassure him that I was fine; I thought I tried, anyway, but everything was a blur.

I tried to move forward, though I didn’t know why, and it wasn’t until I felt my knees buckle that I had no control of anything. I was down and it seemed like I could feel his hand wrap around my arm to try and help me up, and even hear his voice a little, but nothing registered. It was almost like I was falling into a quick sleep; everything was nothing and that was it.

[ G L ]

I had to be asleep for hours because my body felt so drained and heavy. As soon as I had woken up, at least just a little, I felt weak. There wasn’t any pain and I was thankful for that, but the feeling I was getting could be described as worse. Opening my eyes proved to be a difficult task that I had somehow managed to accomplish, but as soon as I did I wished that they were closed again. There was no light to strain my eyes or horrible image, but I felt sick and I felt strange.

I tried to sit my body up but it was like I couldn’t feel any of my muscles; I couldn’t even focus. I was left laying on whatever it was I was laying on, reduced to fluttering eyes and clenching fists at my sides. I tried to look around with blurry eyes and a throbbing head, and when I did I somewhat recognized my surroundings. It looked like Eve’s décor, but I had never been in this room before. I swallowed despite my dry throat and tried to sit up again, only barely successful enough to lean on wobbly elbows.

I didn’t really know what had happened. I knew that I had fallen, probably fainted, and somehow I had gotten here. Nick had to bring me to Eve’s, but where exactly was I and what was going on? I pulled my chin down towards my chest to look down at my orb necklace, shocked to see that there was no glow in it… or on me. I wanted to be frightened, but I had to tell myself that maybe Nick wasn’t close enough for me to see the glow and that nothing was wrong. I wasn’t good at persuading myself.

My body jerked at the sudden sound of the door squeaking open, but the movement almost caused me to fall backwards. My line of vision was met with Eve’s kind and apologetic eyes while she slipped into the room, slowly shutting the door behind her. I was relieved to see her, but what I really wanted was Nick, and I wasn’t afraid to voice that.

“Where’s Nick?” I cringed at the sound of my own voice because it sounded hoarse and unnecessarily emotional. I was glad to see that it didn’t faze her.

“He’s waiting in the living room,” she said rather lowly, almost like she didn’t want to frighten me. I eyed her skeptically. “He can come in once I do the testing.”

“Testing?” I inquired with shock, almost shrinking back. “What do you mean? What happened?”

She gave a light sigh and pulled a chair from the corner on her way towards me, plopping down on it just in front of my body. I was facing towards the door, looking down at her to my side, and it was only then that I realized I was on some sort of table-like platform – like the ones at the doctor’s office. It made me nervous and uneasy, but maybe that was what I had already been feeling. And the pounding in my head, and now in my stomach, didn’t cease despite everything else.

“Nick said you fainted out of nowhere,” she started, but I already knew this. “Just… dropped, out of nowhere. And he’s said that you’ve been acting kind of strange lately.” I couldn’t deny this and maybe that’s why I was slowly growing irritated.

“But why am I here? What do you mean testing?” My voice was calmer than I expected, but it was more demanding than usual. Still, though, she stayed just as calm as ever.

“He brought you here. We obviously can’t take our kind to a regular hospital when things out of the ordinary happen, and I’m the closest thing to a doctor we have around here.” She smiled along with her words and I could sense a bit of pride in her eyes, but the look was gone just as fast as it came, being replaced by what looked like worry. “Now, why don’t you tell me what you’re feeling?”

I shut my eyes as slowly as I could, but it seemed to make the pounding even worse for a moment. My lips were dry when I licked them, but nothing else seemed strange. Maybe I was sick. Maybe I had the flu. Whatever it was I knew that it would pass… it had to.

“I just… I feel sick.”

“How so?” she murmured. I sighed.

“My head hurts,” I started, trying my best to shift so I could sit up. I was feeling my muscles again, but the weakness hadn’t left. She leaned forward to help me get situated, her eyes prompting me to continue. “My stomach feels weird, too, and I feel this strange warmth… I don’t know what I’m supposed to think.”

“Have you been feeling this a lot lately? The sick feeling?” She took her spot back in the chair but left her hand on my knee, staring at me with knowledgeable eyes. I gulped and had no choice but to nod. “Nick told me that you’ve been saying nothing is wrong; why haven’t you told him?”

“I didn’t want him to worry.” That was obvious, but so was what she said next.

“So this… feeling? You knew it was enough to worry him, so you kept it to yourself? Didn’t it worry you?”

I answered her with a guilty “sort of,” not quite sure of what else I was supposed to say. I wasn’t trying to keep things a secret, it just happened, and the way she was acting made me feel as if this were more serious than I had expected.

“So, I think I might have a few ide-”

“Is something wrong with me?” I interrupted.

“Nothing’s wrong, but there’s something going on. I have a few ideas… but I’ll need you to use this.” I glanced down to the hand she outstretched and stared at the item she held.

“You want me to pee in a cup?” It wouldn’t have been so strange if I were at an actual hospital because, even though Eve knew a lot about medical things, I didn’t understand why she’d want me to do this. “Why?”

“Just trust me, Lonnie, alright?” she tried, even giving me a weak smile. “And when I leave the room after I’ll send Nick in.” I took one last glance at the cup before slowly wrapping my fingers around it and biting my lip. She helped me slide down off the table-like are I was sitting and made sure I could properly walk before pointing out a small room just a couple steps away.

I did as she wanted without ever stopping my wild thoughts from circulating. What did this mean? What was she going to do with this? What was wrong:? I was starting to become nervous and scared, but I would see Nick and that provided a little bit of comfort.

Eve left the room after I had given her what she wanted and I took my time sitting back up on the table. I was feeling a little relieved now that everything in me was subsiding; only leaving me to feel a little numb. I didn’t understand what kind of test would require that, but I was fine – I knew I was.

The door opened once again, but this time I was met with Nick and his mixture of emotions. I swallowed hard once I saw his stern expression, but the worry and concern in his eyes were mixed with softness, and it made me want him to just hold me. He took rather quick steps toward me but made no move to pull me into him, though he did grip both of my hands and look deep into my eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” were the first words out of his mouth, and I was both guilty and confused.

“What?”

“Why didn’t you tell me that you’ve been feeling sick? I mean, it was sort of obvious that you haven’t been yourself… but I tried not to worry and I wanted to trust you –” Wanted to trust me? Did he not?

“I was fine,” I interrupted somewhat defensively, “I was telling you the truth.”

“Then why are we here now?” he hissed. “Why did I have to bring you here? You fainted, Lonnie. You didn’t – you don’t even know how it felt to see you like that, to watch you fall and not be able to do anything about you. You’ve been out for hours and I was so worried –” He wasn’t even taking any time to breathe between his words, but he was making me feel emotional and happy at the same time. I should’ve told him that maybe something wasn’t right, but I didn’t know. And him caring so much made me feel even worse.

“I’m sorry,” I breathed, and he sighed. The sternness didn’t vanish and I didn’t know what to think.

“You didn’t tell me,” was all the he muttered lowly before the door opened again and a rather shocked Eve stepped in. I think my heart stopped for a moment, or at least dropped down to my stomach.

Nick stepped to my side, letting go of one hand and giving my other hand a squeeze before eventually letting that one fall, too. Eve didn’t smile, just kept her awed expression, and she came closer.

I didn’t expect myself to be the first one to speak, but I was. “What?”

“Well, uh… I-I…” she stuttered out, even shaking her head a little with disbelief. I was practically being eaten up on the inside with fear and curiosity, but she didn’t continue with what I wanted to know. “I don’t understand…”

“What?” Nick demanded, but his tone held more force, prompting her to go on. Her eyes darted over Nick’s mixed expression and then my own, finally locking her gaze with me while her lips stayed parted for a moment.

“I don’t understand how this is possible… not right now. It shouldn’t be right now,” she breathed, but it seemed like it was more to herself than Nick or me. For that long moment I stayed perfectly still, unable to even move my eyes away from her to look for comfort or answers in Nick.

“Lonnie,” she practically murmured, and I didn’t understand why it sounded almost sympathetic. She licked her lips then and, glancing back over to Nick for just a second, she spoke again, solely to me. “Lonnie, you’re pregnant.”

I wasn’t quite sure if I even heard what she said right away, or maybe the words didn’t click, but the feelings I had – ones that were slowly creeping through me – didn’t do anything but make me feel numb. What did she say? Had I heard her right?

I seemed to blink several times before my vision, which had blurred, became clear enough to settle on her features. Was that… was I…

I couldn’t even think the word in that instant and I had to force everything in me to come together just so I could understand. I was pregnant. That’s what she had said; I was pregnant. But that couldn’t be possible. I wasn’t ready for that. I wasn’t ready because I was young and because I didn’t even understand what that fully meant at the moment, and because I didn’t even understand how this could be happening now. It just… it couldn’t.

I sat on the table with my legs dangling off the edge, but I stayed silent, my eyes wide with shock. Eve stared back at me with kind eyes, showing something that looked close to sympathy, and I felt a little angry for that. I didn't want sympathy; I didn't need it.

I inhaled deeply and allowed all the nerves to bundle up in my stomach before I decided to look at Nick. He hadn't made a sound since before Eve had spoken and, glancing over, I didn't exactly wonder why.

He looked a little pale, his eyes wide with his lips set in a fine line. But before I could reach out to him, his knees buckled, and he toppled over. This was more unbelievable than what we just heard.

Nick had fainted.

And I was pregnant.