I Know You've Got Your Life In Place But I've Yet To Take The Hint

Three months later

“Daddy! Daddy!” The impatient little girls voice rang in my ears and despite the number of daddies’ at the party and the number of impatient little girl voices that were ringing in my ear, I had no doubt it my mine that this was my little girls voice calling to me.

I opened my arms just in time to catch the bundle of pink and white that launched itself at me. She hugged my neck and looked at me with big wide eyes.

“Where’s Dad?” she asked, meaning Jack. I smiled at her and pointed in the direction of Jack. He was kneeling on the ground with a couple of other little girls, giving them horsy rides. This involved him crawling on the ground with a girl on his back and every so often rearing backwards, causing the girl to scream in delight and wrap her arms around his neck. He’d also alternatively drop to the ground, causing the girl to roll onto the ground and squeal in laughter.

Sammie jumped out of my arms and ran towards Jack. He too had a sixth sense for her, because he’d gotten on his knees and opened his arms for Sammie to run into. He pretended that she was too heavy for him, falling backwards and clutching his shoulders. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but I could imagine.

Jack would say: “Sammie, you’re getting too big! You’re growing too much! Whatever am I going to do? You’re going to get big one day and leave me.”

And Sammie would answer: “Never, Dad. I’ll never be too big for you.”

My eyes watered slightly just thinking about how lucky I was to have these two in my life forever. I loved them both so much that it was unbelievable. I was so lucky. I couldn’t imagine anyone not wanting this; not wanting the comfort of a loving family. I’d grown up with family that put me first and gave me everything I could possibly need, and I was determined to do the same for my daughter.

As I thought of family, the most valued members of my family came over to me. My father and my grandmother.

My grandmother hugged me really tightly for an old woman, and I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed her back.

“I never did thank you, for what you said that day,” I said, awkwardly, trying not to make my dad feel bad for not approving of my relationship with Jack at first. I hoped my grandmother would understand, because I truly did love her with everything I had.

“You don’t have to thank me, dear. It’s my job to make those I love happy. And look at you, look at how happy you are and how lucky you are to have those two wonderful people! And for them to love you back like they do … that’s beyond incredible. You made your mother the happiest person ever in her last months, Alex, because all she ever wanted was to see you happy.”

Silence washed over us as we all took a moment to remember my mother. She’d hung on valiantly until the end, where she let go peacefully after a long fight. She’d lived long enough to see Sammie become her official granddaughter, however, and had witnessed me and Jack’s ‘wedding’, a mere two weeks after his incredible marriage proposal at the hospital.

Lisa came over to us then, and sensing the mood, hugged me. I held her tight for a few minutes. She’d become one of my best friends again in the last few months and I didn’t know what I’d do without her, in fact. It was her and my grandmother who’d arranged this birthday party for Sammie.

“Thanks, Lisa” I whispered to her. I didn’t have to say what for.

“You’re welcome, Alex.”

“Love you.” I said, squeezing her hand.

“Love you too. Now … I think its cake and present time!” I nodded my agreement and she moved off.

As she went around making the announcement, tiny Isobel started crying, at the same time that the rain started drizzling slightly.

Everyone around me rushed to hustle the kids under the porch and out of the rain. It was where the cake and presents were originally supposed to take place, anyway. My dad took Isobel from me on his way through but didn’t say anything as I stood out under the rain.

Everyone else was under the porch when it started raining even harder. Lisa and Jack came over to me, understand why I was standing there but not willing to leave me out in the rain by myself.

Tears were flowing down all three of our faces as they both wrapped their arms around me. I turned my face skyward, letting the cool water run over me.

“Mom, I know you’re watching. I know you’re sad that you can’t be here and I know that you’re probably crying up there too. That means I can blame the rain on you. But really, there’s nothing to be sad about. We’re happy. We’re healthy. You’re doing an amazing job of taking care of us, even from up there. We even took your advice – we made the cake half chocolate and half vanilla so that everyone would be happy. What’s that called? Marble? Yeah, marble. We made a marble cake, Mom, and we’ll save you a piece even if you can’t eat it. I love you Mom, I love you.”

I buried my face in Jack’s chest as I finished saying what I had to say. It felt good to know that she was there with us in our hearts.

We walked back to the porch, and Sammie ran up to me.

“Why are you guys crying?” she asked her little face sad.

“We miss Grandma, honey,” Jack explained, and instantly little tears appeared in Sammie’s eyes.

She hugged my legs and whispered “I miss her too.”

I picked her up and explained to her that it was all right to be sad, but that Grandma was watching us today, and that she would always be there with us.

“Where?” Sammie asked me.

“Right here,” I said, putting her little hands over her heart. “In your heart.”

My dad cleared his throat. “Speaking of your mother, Alex, I have something for Sammie. Your mother –“ his voice broke slightly. “Your mother wanted her first grandchild to have it. Sammie is the first – and I think she’s ready to have it.”

My dad disappeared and came back with a box. I knew instantly what it was. And sure enough, it was. The little gold chain glinted even without sunlight and the beautiful angel with an upturned face smiled up at my beautiful little daughter.

What happened next brought tears to my eyes again. My daughter walked out into the rain, looked up at the sky, and blew a kiss. She then came back in, and hugged me.

“Grandma’s smiling, Daddy. Look.”

And when I looked, sure enough, there was a rainbow in the sky.

After that, we were able to finish the party with a light heart. My daughter’s favorite present besides the angel necklace, which she insisted on wearing, was a stuffed unicorn which she named Katie and brought with her everywhere for the rest of the day.

Later that night, with the unicorn in bed beside her, the necklace hanging at her bedside, and me and Jack each sitting on a side of her bed, she smiled at us.

“This was the best day,” she murmured sleepily. Before she could say anything else, her eyes were closed.

We smiled and tucked her in. We stood hand in hand, watching our angel sleep. And I could swear I felt an angel watching us.

There was no other explanation for how we were so blessed. Really.

I closed my eyes briefly. “Thank you, Mom.”

And right before Jack and I walked away, I swore I saw my mother smiling at me from across the room.