I Know You've Got Your Life In Place But I've Yet To Take The Hint

"Alex, seriously, if you're going to keep acting like that, I'm going to throw you off the damned bus."

Lisa was in the shower and I was pacing back and forth, opening random doors and the fridge looking for something that would make me feel better and failing. The only thing that would make me feel better was talking to Jack, and he wouldn't let me in his bunk.

I was so confused. I didn't know what I'd did wrong. I knew he didn't like Lisa, but I didn't see why that would make him treat me like this. If anything, I expected him and Lisa to be fighting and me having to be the peacemaker. I had hoped that maybe this would be a chance for Jack and Lisa to get closer.

Lisa didn't like Jack for many reasons that she wasn't afraid of verbalizing. "He brings too many girls back to the bus." "He's too immature." "He doesn't approve of models." "He listens to fucked up music." The one thing that she hadn't verbalized was that she was scared that I was closer to Jack than I was to her. Which I was. But in different ways. We'd been friends for so long, we knew everything about each other and did everything together, I didn't have to worry about him judging me or telling my parents things I told him. (Yes, Lisa has done that before). But Lisa seemed almost .. jealous of Jack. I didn't see why. He was my best friend. I didn't see him as anything else. And okay ..when he'd kissed me the other night, it was hot. But fuck. I'm a guy. I can't help if I'm easily turned on ...

The outburst that had jolted me back to reality was Flyzik's voice coming from behind me. I slammed the cupboard and turned around.

"I'm not doing anything!"

"That's just it. You need to find something to do, you're annoying us."

I glared at him. "Speak for yourself, I don't see anyone else complaining."

I looked around at the rest of the guys as I said this and was met with either a bunch of awkward signs that they were in agreement with Matt, or they didn't look at me at all, which was all the answers I needed.

"FINE. I know when I'm not wanted, whatever. Just stop the bus, then, and I'll go."

Matt sighed. "That's now what we want. We want you to go and talk to Jack. We can't have you guys fighting like this, it can split the band apart."

"We're NOT FIGHTING! I don't even know why he's mad at me."

There were awkward shuffling noises, some slanted, shared looks, and a collective sigh from the rest of the guys. For a minute I thought that they were just going to leave it at that and let me continue with my self-pity. But then Rian spoke.

"Are you a fucking idiot, Alex?"

"Apparently."

"He doesn't want Lisa to be here. Can't you just send her home?"

"She's my girlfriend. She has a right to be here. I wouldn't stop any of you from bringing your girlfriends with you. I'd respect that."

"Our girlfriends actually respect the rest of the band and crew, Lex."

"Okay, so Lisa's difficult! Shoot her!" I was getting really annoyed with my friends at that moment. I knew that Lisa wasn't the nicest to them, and I knew that they didn't want to have her there, but they could think of me. My relationship was in jeapoardy, and I needed to fix it.

There wouldn't be a reason for it to be in jeapoardy if Lisa really loved you a voice in the back of my head nagged. I told it to shut up and tuned back into the conversation. Instantly, I wished I didn't. The guys were talking about where to get a gun to shoot Lisa.

"You guys, for real, shut up! I'm going to try and talk to Jack again. If Lisa comes out, be nice."

Zack laughed. "Your girlfriend takes a year in the shower, no worries. And plus, Jack's so mad at you that it will either take you the year as well, or the one second it takes for him to slam the door in your face."

"Thanks for the encouragement," I snarled and walked away.

I hesitated before knocking on Jack's door. "Jack?" I asked softly.

"Go away."

"Can I come in?"

"Can you go swim in a pool of acid frst?"

"Errrrr, no?"

"There's your answer."

"Come on, Jack." I pleaded. "If not for me, at least for the other guys. We're making this awkward for them."

I heard a snort. Then the door opened. "So now you think of someone besides Alexander fucking Gaskarth."

I sighed and walked past him into his bunk before he could close the door on me again. "I'm sorry, Jack. I know you don't want Lisa here."

Jack sat down on his bed and waited.

"But our relationship is missing something, and I need her here to figure out what I want to fix it."

Jack jumped back up and re-opened the door. "Out."

I gaped at him. "What?"

"I can't be friends with an idiot, Alex. You're so fucking stupid that it makes me look smart. I can't believe that you would put yourseld through this again and again. It's going to end the same no matter how much time you invest in the relationship. You know that, I know that. The only one who doesn't know that is Lisa. Maybe it's time someone informed her of it, Alex. Because just in case she is in love with you (which i doubt) she doesn't need to be led on. Not even she deserves that."

I stared at Jack. "What makes you a relationship expert? You've never even had a real relationship, just a bunch of one night stands."

"Have you ever thought that just maybe, I can't get the person I want? Or that, I don't think it's worth fighting for something just for it to end in disappointment? Just because no one ever says no to you, Alex, doesn't mean no one ever says no to me. Life doesn't work that way for the normal people."

I was surprised and ended up laughing. "Since when have you ever been normal, Jack Barakat?"

"I'm more than normal compared to you."

I shifted in discomfort. "That's not true. Thousands of girls want you."

Jack looked at me. "They just want me cause they can't get you. I'm sick of being second best to everything, Alex. Especially second best to you, and especially second best to Lisa."

I was scared now. "What are you saying?"

Jack took a deep breath. "I'm saying that I don't know if I can do this anymore, Alex."