When the Walls Come Crashing Down

Nick’s POV
1 Hour Post-Kiss

Nick paced back and forth in his and Charlotte’s apartment. He half expected Joe to come flying through that door to beat him to a pulp. For the past hour, all he could think about was the look on Faith’s face after she pushed him away. He knew he shouldn’t have done it, but he just had to know if deep down he actually still had feelings for her.

He didn’t.

When he had kissed her, he felt nothing. There were no violins playing a symphony. There were no fireworks. It was just him making a mistake.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and called Charlotte, smiling when he heard her voice.

“Hey babe!” he said enthusiastically.

“Everything okay?” Charlotte asked, probably thrown off by Nick’s tone.

“I’m fine. I just miss you. It’s nice to hear your voice.”

“I miss you too,” she said.

“I’m sorry I didn’t pick up earlier. I didn’t have my phone on me and it was on vibrate because Bryson doesn’t like the noise,” he explained; a lie. The last of them.

“On that’s okay. It wasn’t anything important. I was just being the pathetic girlfriend not wanting to leave her boyfriend,” she said and Nick noticed she sounded almost embarrassed. He couldn’t help but smile.

“You’re not pathetic,” Nick said sincerely and Charlotte laughed.

“Yeah, right. If you saw my tear-stained face right now you’d say otherwise.”

“I’d say you’re beautiful,” he said and Charlotte was silent. He started to worry, wondering if she was suspicious of anything. “Char?”

“I love you, Nick,” she said, her voice wavering. Nick sighed in relief and smiled.

“I love you, too. So much,” he said, knowing from now on, he wouldn’t screw this up. He and Charlotte were right together. He looked at the clock and saw it was getting late. “I should let you get to sleep.”

“All right. Goodnight.”

“Night,” Nick said hanging up and setting his phone on the coffee table. He stared at it wondering if he should call Faith and apologize… again. That is… if she even picked up.

He decided against it, thinking it best to give her time to cool off. He figured all he could do right now was go to bed. Tomorrow’s another day.

***

In the morning, Nick slept in for the first time in a while, relishing the time to rest. He picked up his phone and contemplated calling Charlotte again but thought that would really make her suspicious since it wasn’t very like him. Joe, for that matter… He was about to set the phone down when it started to ring. He sighed in relief when Kevin’s name popped up on the screen.

“Hey Kev,” he answered.

“Hey. Is it okay if I come over?” Kevin asked and Nick could tell he sounded uncomfortable.

“Is everything all right? Is Dani okay?” he asked, a hint of panic in his voice. He couldn’t understand why else his brother would be calling him first thing in the morning.

“She’s fine and the babies are fine,” Kevin answered quickly and Nick sighed. “I just talked to Faith…”

“Oh… so you know I’m at the apartment?” Nick asked, suddenly worried what his oldest brother would think of him.

“Yes. And I just want you to know I’m not taking sides. Call me Switzerland.”

“There aren’t any sides to take, Kevin. I’ll explain everything when you get here,” Nick said, knowing now was the time to finally start being honest.

“Okay. You want a coffee or anything?”

“A coffee would be great. I’ll see you soon, Kev,” Nick said, hanging up. His heart finally stopped racing and he knew if anyone would be able to calm Faith down, it would be Kevin.

***

“Hey,” Nick said, opening the door for Kevin.

“One coffee, black,” Kevin said, handing the cup to Nick. Nick accepted it gratefully and led Kevin over to the couch.

“So,” Nick said, setting his coffee on the table, unsure of where to start.

“Before you say anything, just know Faith’s not mad. She’s calmed down. She talked to Dani and me and of course her mother.”

“I take it from the lack of angry messages on my phone that she hasn’t told Joe?”

“Absolutely not. She wants to tell him in person. Let him focus on the tour and his job. The last thing she wants is for him to throw this opportunity away.”

“But Joe should know,” Nick insisted and Kevin held his hands up.

“Why don’t you tell me your side since you initiated the kiss. You told me you’d explain everything so here’s your chance. Then we’ll discuss what to do about Joe,” Kevin said and Nick nodded.

“Well, the past month living with Faith again, taking care of our son and Joe not physically in the picture, old feelings started to resurface. It took me a long time after William’s funeral for them to go away and Charlotte was so patient with me,” Nick started and Kevin had a look of sympathy on his face.

“Did they ever?” Kevin asked.

“I thought so, but maybe I just hid them. I started picturing a future with Faith again and my life with her and Bryson.”

“What about Charlotte?” Kevin asked and Nick shook his head, mad at himself.

“I didn’t think about her in those moments. I don’t know what’s wrong with me that causes this to happen but before she and Joe came back for the baptism, I wished they wouldn’t,” Nick admitted. “I really thought Faith and I could get back together. So, I kissed her.”

“And?”

“And nothing. There were no butterflies, no fireworks. I felt so awful, seeing her crying and screaming at me. I completely understand why and I wish I could take it back. The only good thing is it made me realize how much I truly love Charlotte,” he said, looking up at Kevin with a small smile.

“Well that’s good,” Kevin said with a laugh. “Too bad you couldn’t have realized thirty seconds sooner.”

“I don’t know if I ever would have without actually kissing Faith, as horrible as that sounds. And I’m not dumb, I know Faith and Joe asked you, Dani, and Frankie to keep an eye on me. Joe probably wanted you to tell him right away if anything happened, didn’t he?” Nick asked.

“Yes,” Kevin admitted.

“So why haven’t you?”

“I’m respecting Faith’s wishes,” Kevin said, shrugging his shoulders.

“If it were me, I’d want to know,” Nick said pointedly and Kevin shook his head.

“I think Faith’s right on this. You know how protective Joe is of her, he’d leave the tour in a heartbeat.”

“Joe knows me better than anyone. He knows when I’m lying. When I tell him what really happened and how I feel, I just know he’ll believe me. If he hears from Faith, he’s just going to assume I still have feelings and he’ll be mad she waited that long,” Nick said and the more he spoke the more Kevin nodded his head.

“Maybe you’re right. Do you want me to stay here while you do it?”

“No, that’s okay. The only thing is… I have to tell Charlotte too,” he said, biting his lip and Kevin put a hand on his shoulder.

“As long as you’ll be okay,” Kevin said, looking into his eyes and Nick shook his head.

“All that matters is that Faith’s okay.”

“She is. I promise. But…” Kevin hesitated.

“What, Kev?” Nick asked and Kevin sighed.

“What do you think this means for your future with Bryson?” Kevin asked and Nick closed his eyes and nodded. This was something he had started to struggle with.

“I… I have an idea but it’s hard. Really hard,” he said, choking on his words as a lump formed in his throat. “I need to really think more about it.”

“And what about the next two months? Will you still help with Bryson?”

“Of course, I owe it to Faith. And to make it easier I’d like to move back into the house… if she’ll have me. I could go down to the basement like was originally planned if that would make her more comfortable.”

“Do you want me to talk to her?” Kevin asked and Nick shook his head.

“No, this is something I have to do,” Nick said defiantly.

“Okay,” Kevin said, concern in his voice as Nick blinked back tears. “Well you know where I am if you need to talk about it.

“Of course. Thanks Kevin,” Nick said standing up to walk Kevin out.

***
Joe’s POV
1 Hour Post-Kiss

“What are you all smiles about?” Joe asked as Charlotte walked back into the bunk area, smiling down at her phone.

“I had a really good conversation with Nick!” she exclaimed, a large smile forming.

“He finally picked up then?” Joe asked, smiling back at her.

“Actually, he called me,” she said and Joe’s eyes widened in shock.

“About time,” he said as Charlotte sat next to him on his bunk and she nodded her head.

“Yeah. How’s Faith?” she asked, putting a hand on his knee and Joe shrugged.

“I haven’t talked to her since we got back on the bus. She’s still really upset we had to leave again. She’s probably just calming down,” he said and Charlotte nodded.

“Well I’m going to go to bed, smiling instead of crying myself to sleep for once on this tour,” she said, standing up. “Goodnight.”

“Night,” Joe said as Charlotte walked into the bathroom with her toiletry bag.

He sighed after she closed the door and rested his back against the wall of his bunk. He had tried to call Faith again in the last hour but she hadn’t answered. He wasn’t too worried about it. Bryson was probably just being fussy that night. But for some reason, he had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

***

When Joe woke up the next morning, he knew it wasn’t going to be a good day. He hadn’t slept well and it was raining outside. The Black Rose concert that night was at an outdoor venue and if it kept up, they’d have to cancel the show putting everyone in a bad mood.

He checked his phone for the time and saw it was 9 o’clock. He knew Faith would be up by now so he decided to call her.

“Hey babe,” Faith said and Joe thought she sounded funny.

“Hey, you okay?”

“I’m fine, just still a little tired,” she said, letting out a yawn.

“How’s my little guy?”

“He’s great,” she said, her voice perking up when talking about Bryson. “He’s enjoying sleeping in Auntie Dani’s arms right now.”

“Oh, are and she Kev there?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I woke up early and made them breakfast. I didn’t sleep very well last night,” she admitted.

“Neither did I. I kept tossing and turning,” Joe said.

“Oh?” Faith asked and Joe noticed a hitch in her voice. “Any particular reason?”

“Not really,” Joe said, feeling there was something she wanted to say. “Just missing you and Bryson, I think. What about you, any reason?”

“Same, just missing you,” she said after a moment’s hesitation. “I should go, Bryson’s waking up and he’s going to be hungry.”

“Okay. I love you. Give him a kiss from me.”

“I will. Love you too,” she said before hanging up. Joe stared at his phone after hanging up, drumming his fingers along the back.

Something didn’t feel right.

***

A few hours later, Joe was catching up on some editing that he didn’t do while they were home for the baptism. He was deleting some blurry photos when his phone rang. Joe grimaced when he saw Nick’s name on the screen. He contemplated not picking up but realized the only way this co-parenting would work was if he and his brother tried to get back to normal.

“Hey Nick,” he said, holding the phone between his ear and his shoulder so he could work while they talked.

“Hey, you busy?” he asked.

“Nah just editing some photos. The crew is trying to decide if they need to cancel the show tonight.”

“Rain?”

“Yeah, lots. So, what’s up?” Joe asked and he heard Nick sigh.

“There’s… something I need to tell you,” Nick said and immediately Joe’s heart started to race. He grabbed the phone from his shoulder and stood up, shutting the door to the bunk area for some more privacy.

“What did you do?” Joe asked through his teeth, anger rising.

“Before I tell you, I want you to let me explain everything before you interject. Can you let me do that?” Nick asked and Joe pursed his lips.

“I will try,” Joe said after thinking about it for a moment.

“Lately, being back in the house with Faith, I thought my feelings for her were resurfacing,” Nick admitted and Joe inhaled sharply. “Last night she said something about having a part of you with her in Bryson while you’re gone even though I’m his biological father and it really upset me.

After giving me some time to calm down, Faith came to apologize. We somehow go to talking about our marriage and she said everything was in the past now. I told her it didn’t have to be and that’s when I leaned in and kissed her,” Nick said and Joe opened his mouth to say something but remembered what Nick said and pressed his lips together.

“And I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. It was all a fantasy and reality kicked me in the ass. I love Charlotte. I have no feelings for Faith,” Nick finished and Joe was silent as he processed all of this. “Joe?”

“Why are you the one telling me this?” was the only thing Joe asked

“What?”

“Why am I hearing this from you and not Faith? She told me she’d let me know if anything happened,” Joe said.

“I never got to explain myself to Faith. If she told you, you’d only hear her side of the story. And we all know if that were the case you wouldn’t give a shit about what I had to say. I wanted you to hear it from me first. Kevin said she didn’t want to tell you yet,” Nick said and now it all made sense why his conversation with Faith was weird.

“Are you telling me the truth?” Joe asked.

“I have no reason to lie to you, Joe. Not anymore,” he said and Joe looked back toward the bunk area when he heard movement.

“What about Char?” he asked quietly. “Have you told her?”

“Not yet,” Nick confessed. “I know she’s been worried ever since Bryson was born that things would change between us. I don’t want to lose her.”

“Do you want me to put you on speaker, so I can reassure her that… that I believe you?” Joe asked, knowing in his heart Nick was being truthful.

“You know, I did not expect this conversation to go this way,” Nick said with a laugh and Joe winced, knowing what Nick expected.

“You’re just lucky it was only a kiss,” Joe said. “I’ve dreamt of worse.”

“I’m sorry, Joe. I’m sorry for kissing Faith. I’m sorry there was even a thought in your mind something worse would happen. That’s all on me,” Nick said and Joe couldn’t help but nod his head in agreement.

“So should I go get Charlotte?” Joe asked and he could hear Nick gulp.

“Might as well get it over with,” Nick said and Joe could sense the panic in his voice. He walked over to the door separating the bunks from the front of the bus.

“Hey Char, can you come here?” Joe asked. She set her laptop on the bed and stood up, following Joe out to the couch.

“What’s up?” she asked.

“I’ve got Nick on the phone,” he said and she raised an eyebrow. “He wants to talk to us.”

“Okay…” she hesitated, biting her lip.

“You’re on speaker, Nick,” Joe said, holding the phone between himself and Charlotte.

“Hi hon,” Nick said.

“What’s going on, babe?” Charlotte asked, looking at the phone and back up at Joe.

“I called Joe to tell him something. Something I did, but please don’t freak out,” he said and Charlotte’s breath hitched in her throat.

“Nick before you say it…” Joe said, reaching out and putting his hand on Charlotte’s shoulder. “Charlotte, as your best friend, you trust me, right?”

“Of course,” she said, her eyes already starting to fill with tears.

“What Nick is about to say is going to hurt but listen to everything he says. He’s telling the truth,” Joe said and Charlotte shook her head, preparing for the worst.

“Thanks Joe. Charlotte, I kissed Faith last night. I thought I was starting to have feelings for her again and I kissed her while we were having an argument. Nothing came from it. I felt nothing except my feelings for you. You’re the one, Charlotte. You’re my person,” Nick said and Joe watched Charlotte. Her hand covered her mouth as tears fell from her eyes.

“Char?” Joe asked softly. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

“You believe him?” Charlotte asked.

“I really do,” Joe said.

“The Joe from six months ago would have beat Nick to a pulp, brother or not,” Charlotte said and Joe and Nick laughed.

“I slept with one eye open,” Nick said. “Are we okay?”

“I had a feeling that you never really dealt with this after her father’s funeral,” Charlotte said. “I’m glad you finally did though. I hate that you had to kiss her to figure it out.”

“I do too. And I wish I could take it back. But now I know. Now we know,” he said softly and Charlotte nodded.

“We’re okay,” she said and Joe smiled.

“You two should talk. I have a phone call of my own to make,” he said and Charlotte nodded.

“Nick, I’ll call you back from my phone,” she said.

“Okay,” Nick said. “Joe? Thank you.”

“A three-cord strand’s not easily broken, right?” Joe asked and Nick laughed.

“Right. I’ll talk to you later,” Nick said.

“Bye,” Joe said, hanging up and running his hand over his face, glad the hard part was over.

“Hey,” Charlotte said softly. “So, we can really believe him now?”

“I guarantee it 100%,” Joe said, pulling her into a hug. “I know Nick better than anyone, it took a lot for him to tell me the truth.”

“That’s so good to hear. Because I really love him,” she said with a laugh, wiping away tears. “You going to call Faith?”

“Yeah,” he said with a sigh. “What a day.”

“Amen to that,” she said, walking back to the bunks and shutting the door.

Joe sat back down on the couch and stared at his phone. He just had a feeling today wasn’t going to be a good day. But at least it was better than he was expecting. Now he just had to figure out the best way to tell Faith he knows without her freaking out. With a sigh he found her name in his contacts and hit send, holding his breath until she picked up.