Her Best Friend

Olivia awoke to the sensational smell of bacon she was confused for a minute or so until she remembered that Ryan had in fact stayed that night. When Olivia glanced at her clock, the red numbers glared it was eight o’clock. It was the latest she had slept in for a long time. Olivia slowly pulled the duvet cover back, warmth immediately escaping. Olivia looked at the empty space beside her, Lula wasn’t there. Olivia didn’t panic though.
Olivia slipped on her light blue robe, and shuffled out her room, following the delicious, sizzling smell. “Lula, careful sweetie…don’t touch-“ Olivia walked into the kitchen, seeing Ryan was cooking, and Lula was seated on the counter, near the fridge, watching him.
Ryan turned and smiled, while still shuffling the bacon in the pan. “Morning sleeping beauty…” he said softly, flashing a quick smile. Olivia felt her lips tugged, and her heart fluttered.
“Good morning Ryan, and my beautiful girly….” Olivia said softly, feeling bright as she walked over to Lula, holing her arms out. Lula jumped in them, and Olivia hoisted the girl on her small hip.
Olivia kissed her head, breathing in her scent. “How are you feeling babe?” she asked, as Lula clung to Olivia.
“I’m fine. Ryan made me pancakes!” Lula said excitedly, and she chuckled.
“Did he? Did Ryan save me some?” she giggled cheekily. Ryan rolled his eyes, still smiling.
“Of course I did, why would I deny a gorgeous girl of her pancakes?” he teases, and Olivia this time, blushed.
“Lula why don’t you go pick out some clothes?” Olivia said, letting the girl down and watched her run off, Grayham dragged behind. Ryan turned the hob off.
“You feeling okay?” Ryan asked softly, looking at Olivia’s pale face, he was worried about her. Olivia nodded.
“Yeah, I am.” Olivia said confidently, and went to her cabinet. She looked at the anti-depressants she had begged Carol for, literally begged for the following day after their appointment. Thinking about it, she felt ashamed. Olivia took a deep breath, she didn’t want to rely on medication.
“So I was thinking, if you’re up to it, we could take Lula to the park, I promised her…” Ryan said hopefully, as he sipped his coffee. Olivia turned around, smiling slightly.
“Sounds good.” She said, her heart feeling lighter. She then realized she didn’t medication, as at this moment, she had her own type.
---
“Lula! Careful sweetie!” Olivia called warily, eyeing the climbing frame that looked like a death trap. Ryan chuckled, and casually swung his muscled arm around Olivia’s petite frame, hugging her close. Olivia embraced his warmth and security. It was a cool day, the clouds were miserable, but Olivia was feeling optimistic. She knew why too, it was Ryan, around him. She felt okay. Not exactly fully healed. But still good.
“Liv, relax…” Ryan reassured her, knowing she was no doubt worrying Lula was going to run off again. Ryan too had these fears, just masked them better. Lula’s laughter was heard in the wind, and it made Olivia’s heart tug. She watched the little girl’s face, it was unbelievable how much had changed in less than twenty four hours. Not too long ago, Lula was screaming for her parents, begging to see them, she even ran away from home…and now she was laughing, and playing like nothing was wrong. It didn’t seem normal.
“Don’t you think it’s odd how happy she looks, after last night?” Olivia voiced aloud, glancing up at Ryan, feeling his hand around her shoulder.
“I guess, but she’s just a kid Liv…” Ryan reasoned, his own brown eyes looking into hers.
“Exactly, shouldn’t this be affecting her worse than me?” Olivia argued quietly.
“Do you want her too?” Ryan asked, and Olivia was stumped. Of course she didn’t want Tallulah to suffer this pain, the pain of loss.
“Of course not.” Olivia mumbled, scuffing her shoe.
“I just don’t understand how much can change in less than a night. It doesn’t make sense-” Olivia was interrupted by Lula’s shriek of laughter.
“Aunty Liv, watch me!” she squealed with delight as she slid down the slide again, Grayham between her legs.
“I’m watching babe….wow!” Olivia called, brightly.
“Look Liv, you’ve got her back yeah?” Olivia nodded in agreement.
“So stop worrying, Lula seems fine. If she has another episode of random screaming, then maybe you should worry. She’s just a kid babe.” Ryan continued, and Olivia nodded again. He was right, as usual.
“Okay…” Olivia murmured, and tried to concentrate on the fact she enjoyed his arm where it was.
“So, now we’re calm and collected….who wants to race to the swings?” Ryan teased, and Olivia laughed but still made her way there, hoping she won. When they reached the swings, still having a clear view of Lula. They swung side by side, in a comfortable silence. Olivia closed her eyes, and felt herself go back in time-

“Livvy, this is it.” 18 year old Anna told her best friend. It was midnight, almost Christmas. The snow looked sludgy and pathetic. Anna had a just turned two year old daughter, a gorgeous boyfriend and best friend to match.
“It’s weird isn’t it?” Liv mused, as they looked up at the dark sky. The moon glittering, the stars twinkling, it was a rare beautiful night. They were sitting at these very swings, after a dinner together without Jacob or Lula. It was their annual best friend dinner, a little tradition that had invented it ages ago. Olivia loved their monthly dinners, and their good chats. They hardly saw one another now, their lives were completely different.
“What life?” Anna teased, and Olivia chuckled lightly. A huge, elegant smile on her beautiful face. Olivia glanced at Anna, who was entranced at the sky.
“No, how different our lives are now. I mean, Annie….you’re a mom.” Olivia said in disbelief, as she swayed in her seat.
“I know. You’re right, it is weird” Anna agreed.
“You know being a Mom is amazing…seriously Livvy, I can’t wait till you have your own kid. The love you feel, it’s incredible.” Anna said in awe, thinking of her baby girl and prince charming back home.
“I love Lula like she’s mine you know? I’d do anything for her, you know that right?” Olivia said seriously. Anna smiled mysteriously.
“Yeah I know babe.” Anna said softly, and smiled to herself.
“You’ll be godmother to my kids right?” Olivia asked, already knowing the answer.
“Course, and when I can finally persuade Jake, Lula shall be baptised….”
“You don’t believe in God Annie…” Olivia said confused.
“Neither do you-“
“Yeah but still…”
“Besides, I don’t want my baby girl in hell.” Anna joked but Olivia knew her seriousness behind it. They sat in silence for some moments longer.
“You think we’ll still be best friends in ten years’ time?” Anna said suddenly, a sad expression on her face.
Olivia smiled hopefully. “Yeah…course we will.” Olivia said definitely. Anna laughed slightly.
“Damn, I was hoping to get rid of you.” She teased, and Olivia giggled.
“You’re stuck with me, tough luck bitch.” Olivia joked. Anna laughed and began swinging higher and higher, Olivia did too and soon they were swinging high in the sky, laughing hysterically, causing raucous.
“WOO!” Olivia screamed in delight, and Anna joined in, and they continued to act like kids, till they were so cold, they had to go inside.
---
“Hey Liv, you there?” Ryan teased, as Olivia’s eyes fluttered to life again. She smiled slightly.
“I’m here….hey, want to see who can jump farthest?” she asked, and Ryan grinned.
“One….Two….Three…GO!” he called, and they both began swinging as fast as they could, building up as much power as possible. When Olivia felt the time, she jumped and for one second, she felt like Anna had jumped with her.