Let's See What You're Not

Mark

Shim and I jumped apart at the sound of my bedroom door opening. Crap. I turned around and came face to face to my parents. As awkward as this is, I know it could’ve been a lot worse. Shim and I were only hugging, then again he does have his top off... This moment would’ve been the worst of my life if they didn't already know I was gay though. Thank God Emma convinced me to tell them when she did. If they found out like this... That’d just be horrible.

Mum coughed awkwardly, looking just as embarrassed as Shim and I are. I bit my lip and looked up at them. I wasn't expecting them back until later today. Oh, and since when do they both walk into my room without knocking?

“Who’s your, um, friend, Mark?” my mum asked me after a really long silence.

I looked at Shim and felt so sorry for him. He’d manage to get one of my shirts on now but he looked so embarrassed. It’s my fault he feels like that. I made a fool out of him...just as we were getting to the good stuff as well.

“Mum, dad, this is Shim,” I said awkwardly.

Shim gave a quick nod but other than that he didn't really acknowledge them. He looked like he was trying to hide away if I'm honest; not that I can blame him.

“Nice to meet you Shim,” mum said, trying to sound welcoming. “It isn't Shimon Moore is it?”

I glared at her when she asked me that. I can’t believe she remembered that name! Emma and I have been careful not to say it lately.

“Yeah,” I sighed, hoping she didn't kill him.

Emma told her about the things Shimon Moore put me through. Mum hates him for all that.

“Right.” She fake smiled.

“I'm going,” Shim whispered in my ear, grabbing his bag and guitar before pushing past me and trying to get out the door. My dad stopped him though.

If he thinks it’s his job to do the boyfriend lecture then I’ll actually die out of humiliation. Shim isn't even my boyfriend. I don’t know what he is but if my parents keep this up he’ll end up being nothing to me.

“We’ve met,” my dad said harshly.

Shim looked up at him and nodded shamefully.

What?

“I'm sorry,” he mumbled before pushing my dad out of the way and storming out of the house.

He looked upset. I can’t believe they made him feel that way.

“You can say what you want later,” I said desperately to my parents before following after Shim. “Shim! Wait!” I shouted as I ran outside and chased after him.

Instead of making me run after him, he stopped, allowing me to catch up.

“What was that all about?” I asked.

He shook his head.

“No, Shim, I'm serious. What’s going on?”

“You’re dad knows I'm on the streets,” he told me quietly. “And he knows I'm not a nice guy and he won’t want me anywhere near you; never mind being in his house and h-hugging his son like we were doing back there.”

“Shim, no,” I told him, pulling him into my embrace. “So what if my dad knows you’re on the streets? When I tell him all the amazing things about you and how nice you are he’ll have no choice but to like you as well.”

Shim laughed at me.

“I was pretty horrible to the guy Mark,” he whispered, looking up into my eyes. “I'm sorry. You're dad’s a great guy, I just wasn't nice back to him.”

“You’re being stupid. I don’t care what they think; we can be friends no matter what they say.”

“Talk to them,” he told me harshly. “If they hate me then stay away from me, okay? I'm not ruining another family.”

“You’re not listening!” I practically shouted at him. “They don’t hate you. My dad won’t hate you either. He probably just wanted to talk to you.”

“Why?” Shim sighed.

“I... I don’t know,” I mumbled. I took a deep breath and decided to give him what he wanted. This isn't going to go away though. We will sort it. “Look, are you going to be okay?”

“I'm fine, Mark. Go home and I’ll see you in school or something,” he said, looking distracted. It was as if his mind had already gone somewhere else. Doesn't he care about all this? Doesn't he care about me?

“But it’s cold and you shouldn’t be out here.”

He closed his eyes tightly before looking me straight in the eye.

“I'm fine, Mark,” he told me in a much firmer voice. “Go home.”

I nodded weakly before staring at him for a few seconds and heading back for my house. I waited for a bit because I wanted a hug or an innocent kiss to say goodbye. I never got that though. I didn't even get a bye.

When I walked into the house mum and dad were glaring at me. I haven’t done anything wrong though; not really. They’ve just jumped to the conclusions that I invited a boy in and planned on having sex while they were with my grieving granddad. None of that happened, or was going to, but I suppose I can see where they’ve got that theory from.

“Sorry, I just wanted to make sure he’s okay,” I explained to them shyly.

“That was nice of you,” mum told me softly. “Is Shimon your boyfriend?” she asked me.

“No,” I told her. “We’re friends now; that’s all.”

She nodded but I wasn't certain if she believed me.

“Why was he in our house?” dad asked me.

This is the first he’s spoke to me since he got back. Surprisingly, he doesn't sound anywhere near as angry or disgusted as I thought he would.

“Um, well. It’s complicated. We didn't do anything that should shout at me for though, I promise.”

“Do you know him?” dad asked, not even listening to what I said before.

“Obviously dad.” I rolled my eyes at him.

“He’s the ones who bullies him at school,” mum added.

I sent another glare her way. Dad did not need to know that.

“We’re friends now, it doesn't matter.”

“Does he know we have money?”

I screwed my eyebrows together. Seriously dad, what kind of question is that?

“Everyone has money,” I mumbled.

“I meant does he know we have a fair bit of money?” dad asked impatiently. “If he started being nice to you for money then-“

“No!” I shouted at him. “Why would you even think that?”

“Do you know he’s on the streets?” dad asked me softly.

My mum’s eyes widened in shock but I just nodded shyly.

“Sometimes, desperate people go after nice ones because they know they’re likely to give them whatever they want,” dad told me, speaking to me like I'm an idiot.

“He didn't want me to know he was on the streets. I found out last night because of the storm,” I told dad, wanting him to know that Shim wouldn't spend time with me to get money out of it. I know he wouldn't. “That’s why I invited him in.”

“You’re a good kid,” my mum said kindly to me.

I blushed at her compliment.

“I trust you,” dad mumbled awkwardly before gesturing for mum to leave for a second. He then sat down on my bed and looked at me. He didn't say anything, he just looked. “Sit,” he sighed.

“I didn't do anything wrong, you know,” I promised him. If you forget about camping out, then I'm telling the truth. “Shim didn't either.”

He nodded at me.

“I do trust you Mark,” he told me again. “And I admit we jumped to conclusions back there, but I know that boy and I struggle to see how he’ll be a good influence on you.”

“We bring out the best in each other,” I told him with a blush. It was true. There was an awkward silence then but I decided to be the one to break it. “How do you know Shim?”

Dad smiled at my question.

“He performs on the streets sometimes,” he explained. The idea of hearing Shim performing brought a smile to my face. “I saw him twice, but last time he gave me a lot of attitude.” That’s Shim for you. “I don’t know if I like him or not,” he told me, making me frown. “I’ll give him another chance though; assuming that’s what you want.”

Tears prickled in my eyes as I pulled him into a hug.

“Thanks dad,” I sniffed.

“I don’t want boys in your room anymore though,” he mumbled.

“What?” I gasped.

Shim’s the first boy that’s been in my room and he already has a problem with it.

“You're too young and... Don't argue with me, okay? If you’re having boys over, they stay where I can see them so I can meet them and make sure they’re enough good for you and accept that I don’t want them having sex with you, okay?”

A massive blush fell onto my face then. Who does he think he is? I know he’s my dad but that doesn't give him the right to rule over my whole life. I can make decisions; who cares if they turn out to be the wrong ones?

“Dad,” I moaned, knowing this would be incredibly embarrassing. “Shim’s just a friend, plus you’ve already met him. He hates body contact too! He wouldn't touch me. He’s straight as well so you can let him in, right?”

I think he could tell I was desperate now.

He shook his head at me and chuckled slightly.

“You’re too young for boyfriends.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” I told him firmly. “And you’ve always said it’s about time I got a girlfriend, so why am I suddenly too young for a relationship. I'm seventeen!”

Dad shook his head at me.

“I'm not here to argue. I'm just stating the facts.”

“You’re male,” I snapped. “That means you can’t be in my room so get out. You might rape me or something.”

Dad looked repulsed by that but I didn't care. I was in a mood now and it was his fault. He stood up and walked out, gently closing the door behind him. He always did that. Left in a way that made you think about your actions. He knows how to make me feel guilty, even though he was in the wrong. He was, right? I didn't do anything shouldn’t have.

I stayed in my room for the rest of the day, staring out of my window and watching the man I care most about. I couldn’t see him well, but I knew it was him. He was at the end of the pier. I wondered if he could see me from all the way over there, probably not.

The time I spent with him last night and this morning was truly amazing. I know him so much better now and I think he actually trusts me. He let me hug him. In the past he would’ve hit me for just brushing my arm against him in the corridor.

“Mark,” my mum’s voice made me back away from the window.

“Y-yeah?” I asked her shyly.

“Josh is on the phone.” She smiled softly before passing it over to me.

I frowned at his name. I haven’t spoken to him since that last practise session. Emma tried to have a word with him for me but he said he was too busy. Nice guy, isn't he?

“Hey Josh,” I sighed into the phone.

“I'm quitting the band,” he told me flatly.

Part of me was shocked and annoyed, but at the same time I knew it as bound to happen eventually.

“O-oh,” I stuttered, not knowing what to say.

“Yeah, a friend’s band needed a new lead guitarist and our band wasn't really going anywhere.”

I nodded but then remembered he could see me.

“Yeah,” I whispered.

We didn't have our own songs. I’ve got no idea how we could call ourselves a band. We didn't even have an official name.

“Are you alright telling Emma for me?” he asked. “I would, but you know me, busy busy busy.”

“Sure thing,” I sighed.

We hung up not long after that. Although my face was showing that I was upset, I actually wasn't. I was kind of happy really. The band was becoming too stressful for me.

I walked downstairs slowly so I could put the phone back. Dad was in the living room but I refused to look at him. He was annoying me.

“What did Josh say?” mum asked when she saw me.

“He quit the band,” I told her blandly.

“I'm sorry about that,” she said softly before walking over and hugging me.

I allowed the hug but I didn't need it. I didn't want it either.

As we hugged my eyes locked with dads. I was glaring at him but he didn't seem to care. He never cares.

“How’s granddad?” I asked when mum and I separated.

“He’s going to be fine,” she told me. “He’s hired someone to come and help him around the house now,” she explained. “I don’t think he wants to be in that big house on his own.”

I nodded, understanding that it’d be hard being there alone.

“We’ve invited him over for Christmas this year.” She smiled. “So you’ll get to see him soon enough.”

I bit my lip at that thought. What if he hates me? I haven’t visited him in so long.

“G-good,” I said nervously.

“Your dad and I think it’d be good to have the whole family here this year. Your Granddad needs company and we haven’t seen my side of the family in a long while. It’d be good to all get together.”

I nodded in agreement, even though I hate big family dos.

“I’ve already invited Emma and her granddad,” dad told me.

I couldn’t help smiling at that, even though I wanted to hate every word he said to me.

“Thanks.”

He nodded.

“Come sit with your old dad.” He smirked. I hesitantly walked over to him and he pulled me down onto the seat and wrapped an arm around me. “I'm sorry,” he told me. “I don’t want you hating me, but you do need rules.”

“I know,” I whispered, bored with arguing already.

“Do you care about Shimon?” he asked me.

“Yeah.” I blushed. “He’s my friend.”

Dad nodded and stood up.

“I'll help him then.”

I raised an eyebrow at him.

“What can you do?”

“I’ve got money,” he said caringly. “I'll call the school to let them know about his situation.” I tried to speak up and stop him but he quickly made me be quiet. “We’ll find a shelter for him; I know a few nearby. If they want money to get him pushed up the list for a room, then I’ll pay it. If he’s your friend I don’t want him living out there.”

I nodded. I found all of this a little scary. It would make such a difference to Shim’s life, but he did tell me he likes it out there. What if he refuses to go to the shelter? What if hates me for letting my dad interfere?

Before I could voice my objections, dad was already in his office, making phone calls. I looked over to mum who was smiling at me.

“He won’t want us interfering,” I told her, panicking slightly.

“If he’s smart he’ll appreciate it.”

I sighed, he’s not smart though.

“Your dad will fix everything, don’t worry,” she told me confidently. “Everything will work out for the best.”

Sure it will...