Heartless

A loud, obnoxious beeping sound... That wouldn't stop.

I slowly opened an eye to glare at the alarm clock on the table next to my bed, sighing before lazily reaching over to turn it off. It was six in the morning, the same time I always wake up, exactly half an hour before Mom calls to see how I'm doing for ten minutes.

The energy to sit up seemed to be absent, making me lay still for a while as I observed my fingernails. They had been getting sort of a purple hue to the area near the cuticle lately, not that I had payed much mind to it. My bangs fell into my eyes from where it had recently been cut, obscuring my vision further since I didn't have on my glasses.

The phone ringing made me jump, rolling my eyes as I reached over to answer it. “Hello Mom.” I mumbled.

“Morning Will. How are you doing?” She asked. In the background you could hear her moving through what I assumed was the kitchen, from the clanging of pots and pans.

“I'm fine. Tired. Nail's are still purple.” I responses casually. I heard her sigh. “Will, you should have that checked out.”

“Mom, if something was more wrong than usual, I'm sure it would show up somewhere other than my fingernails.”

I could imagine her rolling her eyes and putting a hand on her hip. “Fine Will, but when they fall off don't come crying to me.”

I'm pretty sure I'd go crying to a doctor if that happened. I didn't say that to her, of course. “Yes Mom.”

“... Alright. Well, I gotta go baby. Don't forget your pills.” with that she hung up, leaving me with a beeping phone. “Love you too Mom.” I sighed quietly before sitting up, preparing for the day.

I got a bottle of water from the fridge before taking all the pills I needed out of the cabinet, swallowing them one after another and putting them all back. I wasn't allowed to drink coffee, and I shouldn't have anything carbonated, so most of the time, I woke up to water. I went through the living room and onto the small veranda, wincing when the sun seemed to be directed straight into my eyes.

I stood there for a few minutes, drinking my water before sighing and yawning. The house used to be my mothers; she had given it to me when I had graduated, saying that she needed less to clean and that since I was a natural clean freak, the house wouldn't get too dirty. It wasn't as big as she made it out to be at times, but it was nice at least. I wouldn't have to get used to a brand new house this way.

I didn't work; I wasn't allowed to. I lived off of government checks for being considered handicapped. My heart condition made it difficult to do much of anything, really. According to my doctor (which I saw every other week) I would most likely be due for a heart transplant soon, and when that happened I would be given a pager. I didn't particularly look forward to the idea.

What if I didn't have a donor?

What if the heart was rejected?

What if the pager broke?

I squeezed my eyes shut. It was too early to think about that stuff. I went back to the living room and sat on the couch, turning on the TV to see the news and weather. I was actually starting to fall asleep when a knock on the door caused me to jump violently, hitting my knee against the coffee table. “Ow! Fuck...” I winced, slowly making my way over to the door to find Mom, smiling widely. “Oh, do I have news for you.” she sang.

I frowned slightly as she came in, going over and turning the TV off before sitting on the couch where I had been, looking over at me and patting the area beside her. “Mom, if this is another 'make Willow straight' attempt, it's futile.” I responded. She rolled her eyes. “Honestly Will, this has nothing to do with your sexual preference. You're twenty years old, do with your life what you will. This is something a bit more interesting.”

Oh great. She's making me listen to gossip. I shook my head, going over and sitting though I had no intention to actually listen to her.

“Very good, alright; Now, guess who I saw at the grocery store.” she smiled widely, fidgeting slightly as I shrugged. “Cookie Monster?”

Her smile fell into a blank expression. “Honestly Will, is a little enthusiasm too much to ask for?”

“Sometimes.”

She rolled her eyes and continued anyway. “I actually saw a very old friend of yours there. Positively covered in tattoos, but I could never mistake those eyes even if I wanted to.” she said. I frowned slightly. I didn't have many friends in high school, so who the hell could she have seen that was so amazing?

“I do distinctly remember this person coming over a lot, often eating me out of house and home, usually with a different girlfriend every few weeks...” she trailed on, glancing at me to see if I was understanding yet.

“Mom. Too early. Don't be vague.”

She deflated slightly and crossed her arms over her chest. “You are no fun in the morning.”

I smirked slightly. “Someone's gotta balance you out. That new medication makes you hyper as fuck.”

She lightly tapped my arm. “I'm your mother, watch your mouth.” she sighed, then sat up again and resumed smiling. “Fine, I'll take pity on you. I saw none other than mister Hawthorn himself.” she said proudly as I felt my eyes widen substantially, nearly choking on water.

“Hawthorn as in...?”

“Yep. Jace Hawthorn, after four years.” she assured, smiling wider.

Jace had been missing for the past four years almost; even Claire wasn't sure where he went. So how he managed to turn up without some big announcement was beyond me.

“Jace? Good God, I haven't seen him since...”

Since I told him I loved him on Christmas Eve. My heart sunk at that though, causing me to sigh dejectedly, which Mom either ignored or didn't notice. “I know, it's been so long! He doesn't look much different besides the tattoos. Taller maybe, and a bit more muscular, but other than that he looks like his sixteen-year-old self. It's weird how he just pops back up now.”

I nodded slowly, sighing and shaking my head. “Damn... That's really random. Does Claire know?” I asked. Mom shrugged back. “I don't know, I haven't talked to her yet. I'm going over there after this.”

Ah, good old Mom. Spreading news faster than a fire in a forest.

I smiled though, nodding. “Well, do you want to get going then? I need to eat anyway and take a nap.” I murmured, yawning for emphasis as she hummed. “Yeah, might as well. Take care Will.” she said in response, standing back up and patting my leg before leaving, closing the front door loudly behind her.

After a minute I leaned forward, sighing and putting my head in my hands.

“Holy shit...”