Forget It All

I was a wreck.

Getting away from a bunch of drunk young adults was not as fun as it sounds. I was constantly having an arm thrown around my shoulders, a hand pulling me onto the dance floor, a drink shoved in my face, and of course, the occasional ass squeeze.

I found a quiet area at the end of the bar and sat down, letting out a 'humph' in the process. I immediately slouched over and pouted. I was alone and pretty much everyone was drunk. I wanted to go back to the busses, but to be honest I wasn't exactly sure where they were.

So I sat as a loner. I didn't really mind being alone; it was the pounding music and shouting that annoyed me. The bartender came over several times asking if I wanted something. I politely declined over and over again, earning a curious glance from him.

At last, he leaned on one arm against the counter, cleaning out a glass with a cloth. "What's a girl like you doing all alone?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. Why did I have to tell him everything that happened to me today? It wasn't like I knew him. Yet, despite this, I sort of felt compelled to. I mean, he was pretty much the only guy here who wasn't drunk and would actually listen.

But when I thought of what to say I didn't really have an excuse. I was here with a lot of friends, but here I was- alone.

The second I opened my mouth, a familiar face sat in the seat next to me. He placed his hand on my knee, gently squeezing it and flashing the bartender a smile.

He glanced back at me, showing off a devious smile. "Sorry I'm a little late, hun."

I could hardly breathe staring into those blue eyes. And he called me hun. Holy shit.

Garrett looked back at the bartender. He narrowed his eyes at him and then glanced back over at me. "Say, sugar muffin, this fellow isn't bothering you, is he?"

"I, uh," My eyes flickered back and forth between the hand on my knee, the bartender and Garrett.

The bartender shook his head. "Nope. No problem here. Sorry bro. Didn't realize she had a boyfriend."

Garrett chuckled and patted my knee. "Oh. She does."

"Oh, well, um," The guy bit his lip and sucked in a deep breath. "Can I get you guys anything?"

"No." I finally managed to get a proper phrase out.

"Alright." The bartender walked away, and Garrett's hand quickly fell from my knee. It felt empty and cold now that it was gone.

"What just happened?" I asked, furrowing my brow and glaring at Garrett.

"That guy has been hitting on every girl this entire night. He keeps using horrendous pick up lines too."

"And... why did you do that?"

He shrugged. "I sort of wanted to call him out on it. You know, embarrass him."

"You're not drunk." It should have probably came out as a question, but it really was an observation. Garrett was fully functioning.

"Of course I'm not! I don't drink, remember? Not of age."

"That doesn't stop anyone else."

Garrett rolled his eyes. "I'm not everyone else. And neither are you. Remember? We didn't drink together last year." He chuckled.

I bit my lip as I felt my cheeks heat up. "Well," I laughed nervously, scratching the back of my head. "most of the year."

His eyes narrowed in on me. "What do you mean?"

I knew that it really wouldn't matter now. Garrett and I weren't together anymore, let alone friends. I could flat out lie to him and he wouldn't know, but I had a desire to tell him. I felt bad. I mean, I hadn't even told him when we were together.

"I did drink a little last year. I had my first drink in Tempe."

His eyebrows lifted up almost instantly and he leaned back. He pursed his lips and nodded his head. "Oh."

"Yeah." I also nodded my head as the awkward and uncomfortable air filled us.

"I know it doesn't really matter now, but can I ask when this happened exactly?"

I licked my lips before answering. God. This was bad.

"Remember that party where we got John to do karaoke?"

"You mean the party where you met Josh?"

I looked at him in awe for a moment, completely struck by the fact that he would remember any of that. Not that I doubt he wouldn't remember Josh, but he remember when I met him.

"Yeah."

Garrett scratched his arm awkwardly and then looked away from me. He sucked in a breath and looked back at me with a shrug. "You learn something new everyday."

"I'm sorry." I blurted out before gaining full control of the situation.

He looked taken back for a minute, his eyes adjusting in on me with surprise. "Don't be."

I ran a hand through my hair and pursed my lips. "Thanks by the way. For you know, saving me from the creepy bartender."

"Just call me super Garrett."

I pushed out a light laugh, then sucked in a breath. I glanced around the club, spotting my brother and Nick at the bar chugging down beers. I rolled my eyes. How could Nick so easily go back to John right after he kissed me. I mean seriously, was he afraid at all?

"So how's college life?" His question caught me off guard.

I snapped out of my trance and looked over at him. "Oh, you know, stressful I guess. But fun. A lot of fun."

"You've certainly met a lot of new people."

When he said it I almost choked on air. What if he knew like Nick did? This band world was obviously a small one. Oh fuck my life what if he knew? What did it scare me so much?

"You could say that again."

Garrett was silent for a minute. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him staring at the floor, biting his lip. His head popped up quickly and he said, "So you and Alex-"

I cut him off before he could finish. "Me and Alex what?"

".....Are a thing? A couple?"

I sort of stared at him for a moment, which I'm sure scared him a bit. I shook my head. "No. Not at all."

"Oh," He nodded his head, assessing the situation. "you sorta just seem like one. Sorry."

"It's fine." I sucked in a breath and coughed out a laugh. "I don't get why everyone thinks that."

Garrett shrugged. "It's just one of those things. You're like, really close friends."

Me and Garrett were close friends.

I pushed the thought to the back of my mind and shook my head repeatedly. "We are. But I-" I paused and looked around, my eyes settling on Alex flirting with a girl at the bar. "Alex is Alex. He's my friend and for me that's all he'll ever be."

"That's good."

I looked up at him, eye wide.

He was shaking his head, but then stopped and began to stutter. "I mean, no, I- uh shit," He laughed nervously. "I didn't mean it like that. I just- um."

I laughed. "Don't sweat it."

He sucked in a breath. "You know what I mean, right?"

I nodded my head. "I got you."

Garrett gazed out at the dance floor and for a second I sort of wished he and I could be out there having fun together. But I knew that wouldn't ever happen again. I let that part of us get away a year ago. It was coming back; it was too late for us.

A half hour later we were on our way back to the busses. I walked in back of the group, staying away from my drunken friends, my arms wrapped around my body. My heels clicked obnoxiously along the sidewalk and I was tempted to take them off.

"Those are some shoes."

I looked up, eyes wide to find Joel from This Century standing next to me. As we walked, he eyed the shoes curiously with a straight face.

"They hurt like a bitch." I mumbled, mainly to myself figuring he was also too drunk to hear and overall, care.

He then surprised me by replying, "I would assume so."

I looked at him oddly for a moment, then turned my head straight. I guess Garrett and I weren't the only two sober ones tonight.

"So," Joel scratched the back of his head. "I hadn't realized that you were John's sister."

I nodded my head. "That I am."

"And that first day when-"

I shook my head, cutting him off. "Don't worry about it."

An uncomfortable and iry silence filled the air around us. We walked quietly side by side not saying a word. Every not and then Joel would open his mouth to say something, but ended up not doing so.

Finally, he managed to say something. "If your brother is in The Maine, why do you work for All Time Low?"

At this point, I wasn't pretty much sick of answering this question. Despite this, I couldn't get angry at the guy- he didn't know and that was fair enough.

I sucked in a breath. "I've know the guys from All Time Low for awhile now and they offered me a job so I accepted it." I shrugged.

Joel nodded his head, but I was sure he still wasn't fully understanding. "Oh," He paused and looked up at the sky. "Hey do you see that?" He pointed up.

I looked into the sky and then glanced back over at Joel curiously. "I'm not very good with constellations and all of that stuff. I only know the big dipper and the little dipper."

He chuckled lightly. "Here I'll show you." He stopped us in our tracks, lightly grabbing my hand in the process. He pointed up. "Okay you see that really bright star."

I stared at him and then started to laugh. "There's a couple of them to be honest."

"Oh, uh, yeah," He shook his head. "Sorry about that. Okay. Here just follow my finger."

Joel's finger pointed from star to star in a line.

"Orion' s belt." I smiled, looking at him.

"I thought you said you weren't good with astrology?" He smirked and we continued walking.

"Well," I began, biting my lip. "I used to be. I mean, I'm no expert but when I was younger- like ten- John and I would lie on our front lawn and look at the stars and stuff. I was never really good. I only know a few. I guess I just assumed I forgot all of them."

"You're smarter than you think."

"I guess so."

We walked back to the busses, not talking, but this time it wasn't uncomfortable. It was peaceful; it was nice. I enjoyed it.

When we arrived at the busses, the entire All Time Low band and crew was waiting outside in a crowd for someone to open the bus door. The Maine stood with them, still laughing and make jokes drunkenly.

"And where have you been all night, missy?" John chuckled, pinching my cheek.

I pushed his hand away, cringing. Behind him, Garrett stood quietly to himself watching intently. I swallowed hard and my cheeks heated up. I looked away, only to now find Alex in my view.

"Let's go home fella's!" John shouted. "Night Juney June bug." He chuckled and walked away.

I looked back at Alex, who was grinning mischievously. "Hi June."

"Hi Alex." I muttered, my concern elsewhere.

The next thing I knew Alex's lips were on mine. I instantly pushed him away aggressively, eyes wide. Alex chuckled and ruffled my hair. I stared at him in awe, not being able to say anything. At this time, he walked onto the now open bus.

I stood there in the dark air, my eyes focused on Garrett who remained in his spot from before. A drunken Kennedy, who stood next to him was trying to tell him something, but Garrett's mind was elsewhere. His eyes were on me and my eyes stung lightly. I touched my lips gently, immediately wanting to wash away what just happened.

I should have said something. I should have told Alex to fuck off, but I didn't and that's why this hurt so much. For all Garrett knew maybe Alex and I weren't just friends. Maybe, he thought that I was lying to him. Maybe he thought that by one single kiss that I had now fallen madly in love with Alex.

But none of that was true.

Still, Garrett realized something the minute I told him Alex and I were friends. It was something that I realized. It was something even Halvo realized.

Garrett and I were close friends at one point. And then look what happened.

And right now? Alex and I were close friends.

So I stood there, the little light shining down at Kennedy and Garrett allowing me to view them. I sucked in a breath and started to say something. But, of course, my mouth was dry and overall, I didn't have anything to say. I couldn't say anything.

So I just stood there like an idiot, the night consuming me and my past staring at me in the face.