I Don't Love You Like I Did Yesterday

It'd been a month; an entire month since I got out the hospital and had that nasty encounter with Michelle. I've been staying with both Brian and Jimmy. Jimmy would sleep in the guest bedroom, and since most of the time I would fall asleep in the livingroom, Brian would carry me upstairs and put me sleep in his bedroom. He slept next to me, and I didn't mind at all.

To be honest, I missed sleeping next him; being wrapped up in his arms and hearing his heart beating in his chest.

It was a quiet Sunday morning. Brian was still sound asleep, tangled up the sheets, his arms still lightly wrapped around me. I slipped away from his loving presence, and went to the bathroom. After doing all my buisness and washing my hands, I walked through the bedroom, and into the hallway.

I also took the time to peak into the guest bedroom, only to see Jimmy sprawled out on the bed, but he had a pillow clutched tight to his chest. I could see a line of drool going down from his mouth, and then he was snoring slightly. My best friend was so adorable. I was so very tempted to crawl up on the bed with him and take that pillows place. But I didn't. I was on a mission.

I walked into the music room that was slightly down the hall from the guest bedroom. There were guitars all around the room; some sitting on their stands and others signed and hung up on the walls. Brians first ever guitar that his dad ever gave him, was on the wall also. It was one of his most prized possessions; every time he saw that guitar, it put a smile on his face.

Slowly, I sat down at the piano, the seat was cold against my bare tighs. Sighing, I ran my hands across the keys, not yet pressing any down. After a moment, when I was finally ready, I began playing. Knowing exactly what I was doing; a smile formed on my lips.

"Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid
To fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt
Suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer"

My voice and the soft tones from the piano filled the room. I was trying to stay quiet to not wake the boys from their sleep.

"I have died everyday
waiting for you
Darlin' don't be afraid
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I'll love you for a
Thousand more"

Brian was the love of my life, he was all I wanted ever since the day I recognized my feelings for him in middle school. How did we survive this long with only having one real fight?

"Time stands still
beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything
Take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath,
Every hour has come to this

One step closer"

I had lost him that night that I stormed away from the bus; the night of that fight. I never wanted to lose him, but I'm the one that walked away from us. I left everyone, not just Brian; but my family as well. I know I hurt Jimmy that night when I left, I could see the tears in his eyes. Which is why I told him where I went.

"I have died everyday

Waiting for you
Darlin' don't be afraid
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I'll love you for a
Thousand more

And all along I believed
I would find you
Time has brought
Your heart to me
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I'll love you for a
Thousand more

One step closer
One step closer"

All this time, we'd been a step closer to being together. He found me, and I was pregnant with his baby. But I lost it. Why would he still want me after that? I messed everything up by leaving in the first place. A tear fell from my eye, and more followed behind that; every single one landing on the keys on the piano.

"I have died everyday
Waiting for you
Darlin' don't be afraid,
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I'll love you for a
Thousand more

And all along I believed
I would find you
Time has brought
Your heart to me
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I'll love you for a
Thousand more"

As soon as the song was over, I moved my hands away from the piano keys, and wiped the tears out from under my eyes. My life has had so many ups and downs, how could Brian ever want to be with me again after what I put him through? Why would anyone want to even be near me after all the horrible things that I've done?

I was sitting there, thinking back on everything that's happened in my life; when someone wrapped their arms around me, pulling me close to their body. I'd know those arms anywhere, that smell, those tattoos. It was Brian. Quickly, I turned and threw my arms around his neck, hugging him.

"I love you so much Kristy. I'm not going to lose you again. I refuse to. If I lost you again, it'd be the death of me." He whispered in my ear, "That song was so beautiful."

"How could you ever love me after what I put you through?" I sniffed.

"I could ask you the same thing." He laughed, "But I love you with all my heart; I have ever since middle school. Ever since I first saw you, I knew that you're all I wanted. I gave you my heart the first day we met. And it's always been yours; until my very last breath. That is, if you want it."

Smiling, I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his lightly; it wasn't much of a kiss but it still was one. I missed the feeling of his lips on mine; becuase imediately after I got butterflies in my stomach.

"I uhm, need to go get dressed." I blushed, feeling the AC come on in the house.

"Yeah, that's probably best." Brian laughed, "Oh and Kristy?" He asked as I went to walk away.

"Yeah?"

"You look amazing no matter what. Even with that brace on your ribs."

Smiling, I left the music room and went back to mine and Brians room. I already knew what I wanted to wear, and from where I had showered last night I didn't need one right this second. I grabbed my white pants from the end of the bed, and pulled them on my legs. I pulled socks on my feet before slipping on my shoes.

I pulled my silk night gown off of my body, lookng through the mirror, my eyes landed on the skin colored brace that was wrapped tightly around my ribs. I only have to keep it on for a few more days. Quickly, not wanting to look at it anymore, I pulled on a light blue shirt that I had bought a few days ago. I then brushed my hair out and placed a black beanie over my pink hair. And thats when I saw it.

Brian had walked into the room behind me, and got down on his knee. My breathing got cought in my throat as I turned around to look at him.

"Brian, what are you doing?" I asked him.

"Kristy, I've been in love with you ever since the first second that I saw you when we were kids. I knew that you'd be the one that had my heart until the bitter end. I love the look in your eyes whenever something catches your attention, I love the way I can see them light up whenever you look at me. I love the way you look when you're asleep, you're just so peaceful, especially when I'm holding you. I've always wanted to be with you; ever since I first saw you. I looked at you, and I knew, that you're the girl. The only girl for me. The only girl I would love for the rest of my days, the only girl that I would want to take the step and start a family with. I know that I messed up recently, but I hope you let me make up for it. I'll love you no matter what, through thick and thin. I don't care what else happens, I want you. That's all. If I could ask for anything in the world, it would be to be with you. Kristy, will you marry me?"

Tears welled up in my eyes, and I was speachless. He took this small moment to stand up, and I ran over to him; wrapping my arms around him tightly, I whispered a small yes in his ear. I felt his arms wrapp around my waist as he picked me up and spun me around.

"I love you so much Brian; I couldn't imagine ever being without you." I smiled as he sat me down.

As soon as my feet touched the ground, he moved and slid the rings onto my finger. I had done it. I got the love of my life back. Placing both of my hands on the sides of his face, I stood on my tip toes and pressed my lips against his.

"I'm never going to let you go again Kristy. I swear, I'll never mess up, I'll never hurt you again; you mean way too much to me to do that again. I love you." He smiled.

"I don't want to leave your arms, but Brian you should probably get dressed. We have to go to Matt and Val's today remember?" I giggled.

"Oh...yeah, right." He sighed, "You should probably go wake Jimmy up too. I'm gonna take a quick shower, then I'll be ready."

Nodding, I walked out of the room, and back down the hall. When I reached the guest bedroom, I saw that Jimmy was no longer in the bed.

"Jimmy??" I shouted.

"Oh!! Dear Rainbow!! I'm in the kitchen silly little one!" I heard his voice floating from downstairs.

"Well I need you to get dressed so we can go to Matts!"

"Will do!" He was eating, I could tell by how his voice was slightly muffled.

Oh yeah, today was going to be a great day.