Just Like You...

SHEA POV

"Fuck what I said, it don't mean shit now. Fuck the presents, might as well throw them out. Fuck all those kisses, they didn't mean jack. Fuck you you manwhore, I don't want you back." I sang quietly to myself.
"That's a lot of anger out of one little girl." Someone laughed from the door.
"Oh shut it, Vincent." I rolled my eyes.
"I don't want to." He shrugged.
"Someone's cocky today, what's gotten into you?" I sighed, turning around and sitting down on the bed.
"I don't actually know…" He looked a little sheepish.
"Wow, you're showing legit emotion today, I'm amazed." I snorted.
He shrugged, more like the Jacky I know.
"I don't know I just figured I would." He shrugged again.
"Help me pack?" I asked.
"If I don't have to touch underwear? Sure." He came over.
"You wish you got to touch my underwear." I stuck my tongue out at him. His hand quickly reached and, in record time, unclasped my bra and then snapped the elastic on the top of my panties.
"Wow, I just did. Not much wishing." He laughed, helping me zip my suitcase while I sat on it. "Is that enough for three months? It's two suitcases only…" He trailed off.
I held my finger up and walked to my drawers, opening all of them.
Empty.
I walked to the closet and swung it open.
Empty.
"You fit all that?"
"I'm a master at packing." I chuckled.
"Clearly." He stared wide-eyed. I swear, today was the most emotion I was getting out of him in forever. "Pack my stuff?"
"If I don't have to touch your underwear." I mocked him.
"You do, but I'l sure you'll enjoy it." He teased.
I liked the new him, he was getting more playful…more open…it was so unlike him…but it was a nice change.
"I don't think I will." I shook my head.
"Oh really?" Suddenly I found myself pinned against the wall. He was in front of me with a small smirk. Then he let go and regained his typical easy going "whatever" attitude and walked out the door. "You gonna help or not."
"What. The. Fuck." I was still shocked. I walked down the hall to his room to help him pack.
In half an hour I had all his stuff in two and a half suitcases PLUS toiletries.
ACCOMPLISHMENT!
I smirked and zipped the zipper with confidence.
"There you are." I patted his head, I let my hand come down to curl the strands of hair around his face around my finger. "I like it black."
"I like it brown." He rested his hand on the side of my face covered by hair, he brushed it out of the way.
"So we'll swap and wish we had each other's hair?"
"Pretty much." He breathed. His lips were just…ugh they were too close. I'd already basically cheated on Andy and I felt guilty as fuck for it…
I couldn't be Jared. I couldn't end it and let myself begin something with Jacky right away…I'd be a total whore…
I don't think I care…
I should, he's been nothing but nice to me…
I can't…
Mmmm, I think I will.
I knotted my finger's in Jacky's hair, he pushed me gently back on the bed. His hands pinned my hips down.
"Fuck, I can't work the damn belt." He muttered a few moments later, pulling away.
I chuckled and undid it. He was on top of me again before I could reach for his. He tugged my pants down in the slightest and before I even realized what was happening, a finger was inside me. I twisted in shock, I hadn't been expecting that right away.
"You're damn quiet and then this happens?" I muttered. I held a gasp in, biting down on his shoulder instead. He bit my neck, I could feel it break skin.
"There's a four year old in the fucking house, keep it down!" Ronnie banged on the door maybe fifteen minutes later.
We broke apart. We hadn't even really gotten the chance to do anything…Jacky's like…really super slow…
"I think…maybe it's best we leave that there…" He looked guilty and backed off.
"Maybe it is." I sighed, gathering the little I lost and straightening myself out.
I walked out the door and downstairs, leaving him alone in his room, practically pulling his hair out and muttering to himself.
"Shea, I've got the shit for your hair!" Mika yelled at me. "Come on!" And before I knew it, I was being dragged somewhere.

XXX

"Shit, I love this…" I twirled my new hair around my fingers.
"Okay, be careful. I washed it really well but it still might dye some things next time you take a shower…" He trailed off, "But that really shouldn't be a worry."
"Thanks, Mika, I love it." I smiled, my hair was shorter now, black, and a few red streaks that finished in tips. It was kinda unusual, but I liked it on me.
"I'm awesome aren't I?" He grinned.
"Yeah." I kissed him on the cheek.
"Awe-uh, I was kissed by a pretty girly." He stuck his tongue out at me playfully and I laughed.
He turned to call up the stairs.
"JACKY GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!"
Jacky came downstairs. He ignored me and I went upstairs.
I stopped at the mirror in the hallway. My new hair was totally different. I had grown my hair out past my bra, now it was two or three inches past my shoulder. I had always liked it long but had started cutting it medium until Jar--forget it.
Yeah, I still really missed him. He meant the world to me and he hardly talks to me anymore like he used to. He was my best friend and we don't talk about anything unless it's about the band now, and hardly that.
Point is, I cut it so I could now forget about him. I can't wait to see his face though when he sees it.
I guess, in a way, I still really loved him. I don't know why…I just…he wasn't my first boyfriend or anything…but he was the first to mean something…and it hurt in the worst way that he left me. He actually has a new girlfriend, has for a little while. I think like a month after he ended us he asked her out? Something like that.
It fucking sucks.
And I just…I guess I'm just upset I can't really talk to him about my problems anymore because he doesn't want to talk to me, he still feels really awkward about it all.
But I need someone to talk to now more than ever.
I took a deep breath and pulled out my phone. Typing the name into the "to" bar that I thought I'd never type again, I wrote the first thing I'd said to him in a little over a month.

Listen, Jared, I don't give a shit what ever happened between us, right now I'm just really upset, I need help, I'm so confused.

I waited a little and he didn't respond. I winced. I was about to type a message saying I really needed to talk to him but then my phone buzzed.

Shea, what's wrong? What happened?!

I took a shaky breath, feeling tears run down my face. I was finally going to get everything off my chest.

Jared, I don't know what to do. Andy really cares about me…

He took only seconds to reply this time.

That's good, that's what you deserve.

I held my face in my hands a moment before responding again.

Jared, I don't love him back…but he says he loves me…I don't love him!

He took a little longer this time.

Chill, please, I hate it when you work yourself up and get upset. Please breathe. I know you're having an anxiety attack by now. If you don't love him, don't say you do, or tell him that. What's so bad?

I bit my lip.

Because…I don't want to hurt him…I mean I know he's older, he can handle himself, but I just….I'd feel bad and I don't love him.

And why don't you love him?

I frowned. I didn't know…

I miss you. And….I really like Jacky…a lot.

I admitted it and I regretted hitting "send." He didn't hesitate this time.

I know you do. We both know I'm not right for you. I don't deserve you. Especially after all this crap I put you through. If you like Jacky, I want you to go for it. If you have to end it with Andy, end it with Andy. If you really care anything for Jacky then make your move. I want to see my little sister happy again.

I smiled and hiccuped a laugh through the tears I was shedding.

You haven't called me that in the longest time. I missed it.

I could hear the smile in his answer.

I missed it too. I want to be like we used to again, before all this shit.

I sighed and nodded, wiping my face on my sleeve.

I'd like that. A lot.