I Need You

"La la la, la la la." I sang tunelessly and skipped to my next class. I like college, everyone was so nice here. They didn't know I was gay but still, they were pretty amazing people.

"Hey beautiful." Hale said as he bumped me with his shoulder. I jump a little.

"Hi." I said lamely and smiled. I wrapped my arms around his waste and rest my head on on his shoulder.

"How's your first day going." He asked gently and tousled my hair.

"Amazing! Everyone is so nice here, and the teacher are cool. One of mine just handed us the syllabus and said we could leave. He did say we had to read it, but that's not the point."

"You're so lucky, I already got assigned a book and an entire chapter to read."

"That's your own fault for not picking the same major as me!" I teased and smiled at him. Then I pulled away, squeezing his hand quick, trying to escape before he could see something was wrong. "I've got to get to class! Bye!" I started to walk away but he caught my wrist. So close.

"Meet me by the big oak tree for lunch. I want to take you somewhere special for your first day of college." He smiled at me, then released my arm. "Bye!" Then we went our separate ways.

As soon as he left I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. I'm keeping something from him, and it makes me sick. I hate hiding anything from him. I should just be completely honest with him. But I can't! If I told him I was getting random little flashes of memories from the last party, no of which involving him, he may flip. From what I can tell, I just kind of threw myself at someone. But who?

Oh if I only knew. This whole mess could be over, I could learn what really happened, hopefully nothing, and tell Hale. I could get it all off my chest, and not feel so vile and repulsive inside. I took a deep breath, held my chin high and headed back to class, still feeling like a monster.



"Do you like it?" Hale said as he watched a forkful of lasagna leave my plate and enter my mouth.

"It's lasagna how can I not?" I said and smiled at him. He drove me two hours away from our dorm just to get me 'the best lasagna ever'. I don't deserve him.

"Are you okay?" He asked suddenly, worry very present in his eyes. A pang of guilt hit me in the stomach.

"Uh, yeah. I'm fine, really." I placed my hand at him and smiled, hoping he wouldn't see through my delicate lie. He nodded skeptically and took another bite of his food. I laughed nervously and began to dig at my food, I had no point in actually eating it.

"Alright, what's the matter, really?" Hale says dropping his fork immediately, causing several loud clicking sounds. I winced, then I opened my mouth to lie, but before I could he cut me off. "Don't you dare lie to me." He glared, I shivered, never once had I been on the wrong side. The side in which his glare and sharp pointed tone was directed at. I tugged at the neck of my shirt and gulped.

"We need to get Zeke a boyfriend." I blurt suddenly.

"Why?" He raised his eyebrows at me. I took a deep breath and began spewing a half-truth.

"He seems so lonely-he's moping around the house and looking at us funny. And when you were drunk you got him a puppy because he seemed lonely. I feel so guilty. He's surrounded by happy twin couples in the dorm and all the other couples in college. It's got to be a terrible feeling." I feel much better now, I'm still keeping a little from him, but the slow disintegrating of my insides seems to have slowed a bit.

"Okay, our first mission in college: get Zeke a boyfriend." He nods determinedly at me. I smiled and took his hand. He seemed convinced, so I wouldn't have to worry for a while.

"Now, what's really wrong?" He raised an eyebrow at me. I swore silently to myself he knew me too well.

"Okay..." I sighed finally caving. "I'm getting little flashbacks from the party and you're not in them.." I trailed off. He started laughing. "What?" I said defensively.

"That's all you're worried about?" He scoffed. "That you weren't with me during the entire party?" He bursted out laughing. I blushed.

"Bless your heart. Your innocent little heart." He laughed and rolled his eyes.

"Well I felt so horrible." I said laughing at myself now. "I felt like I cheated on you because I wasn't by your side."

"Nah, Zeke told me you went to him and you were insanely drunk. Like, you were slurring so bad he couldn't understand a word you said. Then you collapsed and we all went home." I let out a breath.

"Thanks." I told Hale. He just smiled at me and took my hand. I smiled back and devoured the rest of my lasagna. He laughed.

"God, you're so adorable." I blushed even deeper. What did I do to deserve someone as amazing as him.

"I love you." I smiled at him and took another huge bite of lasagna.

"Party tonight at this bi kid's house. We're all invited." Hale suggested.

"I'd wuv too." I said with a mouthful of food.

"That's attractive." Hale said sarcastically.

"Mm." I hummed then swallowed. "You know you love it."

"Mm." Copied my hum. "I love everything about you."

"Anyway back to the party. Is this bi kid single?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Yep, I triple checked."

"Would he like Zeke?" Before Hale could answer I corrected myself. "Wait, no scratch that; everyone likes Zeke... Would Zeke like him?"

"I believe so, from the three seconds I talked to him he seemed extremely nice." Hale said.

"Well it's settled then, we're going." I said and nodded with determination.



"Look!" I shouted to Zeke over the blaring music of another party. "Over there, he's cute. I heard his single too, and he's bi!"

"Raine I don't..." I didn't hear the rest of what he said.

"What?" I screamed back. Hale had come back with the drinks and was back at my side, like always. I'm so glad I found him I smiled at him and thanked him for the drink. I took it from him and took a sip and he pulled me back against his chest.

"Come here!" Zeke said. "I have to tell you something!" He grabbed my wrist and pulled us into the random empty room.

"I don't want anyone else!" He said tears coming to his eyes. "I already have who I want!"

"But you aren't dating anyone." I said, I was very confused.

"No, I don't have them! I-I know who I want!" He said I saw the tears start cascading down his face.

"Them, there's two?" I asked. I felt Hale stiffen behind me.

He started crying, really hard. "It's both of you, I love you guys so much!" A sudden memory flashed before my eyes, it was of the last party. The one where I was very intoxicated and I remember next to nothing of.

I was standing in a room... with Hale, no wait that was Zeke! Oh dear God. I think Zeke was lying to Hale when he said nothing had happened.

"What happened at that party Zeke, really?" Hale said in a taught voice. My guilt had arisen again and I felt depression hovering above my head waiting to strike.

"Raine kissed and and passed out. I swear that's it, I didn't want to hurt you two, ever. I'm so sorry!" he was sobbing even more.

"Oh, Zeke." I said as tear brimmed in my eyes.

"Don't touch me! I'm a monster!" Then he bolted. I followed him pushing through the crowd of sweating and tipsy bodies. I was almost an Olympic gymnast, there was no way he could out run me. Especially with Hale for back up.

Once we got outside I easily tackled Zeke and waited for Hale to arrive and help me with him.

"Where were you going?" I asked whilst panting.

"Away, I told you something I shouldn't have. I'm a terrible person. I love people who are already in a couple." He was crying.

"Maybe we could work something out...." Hale said coming up behind me.