Right By Your Side

Chapter Four

Saying the ride back home was awkward would be a major understatement. No, it wasn’t just Andrew and I. His girlfriend was also there, in between us. I didn’t even know what to say. As much as I wanted to just drop Macy off and go home, I also didn’t want to be alone with Andrew. That would just be even more awkward.

“Well I’ll see you two later.” Macy said. I was consumed in my own thoughts that I didn’t bother to notice that we had arrived at her house.

“Bye Mace.” Andrew said and kissed her.

“Bye Lennox.” She smiled.

“Bye.” I said. It took us a few minutes to get out of the car. Let’s just say it was much more harder to get out than it was to get in. Once she went inside Andrew drove us home. Neither of us said a word. I honestly kind of liked it that way. But when we got inside he had to screw that up.

“Look about tonight…” He started.

“Just forget about it. Let’s just act like it never happened.” I said. Quickly, I put in my headphones to avoid listening to him.

“Can we talk about this?” He asked yanking out my headphones.
“What’s there to talk about it?” I asked.

“How about the fact that we kissed?” He said.

“Like I said, can we just forget that it happened?” I asked again.

“Fine.” He sighed.

“Let’s just go get changed so we can to bed.” I said softly and grabbed my nightclothes. He followed me and we went into the bathroom. Once I closed the door behind me, I let out a shaky breath. Being with him was driving me insane. This would all be so much easier if he wasn’t so damn cute. After I pulled myself together, I walked out of the bathroom and waited for Andrew. Once he was done, we went back into the room. I grabbed my pillow and a blanket and through them on the floor next to the bed. I grabbed my IPod and my phone and lied down on the floor.

“You’re not sleeping on the floor Lennox.” He said.

“Yes I am. It’s your bed, you sleep in it.” I said softly.

“Lennox, get your but off that floor and onto the bed.” He said sternly. Instead of replying, I put in my headphones and blasted my music so I couldn’t hear him.

Andrew’s P.O.V.

I couldn’t believe Lennox. She was being so stubborn. She wouldn’t talk to me, she wouldn’t listen to me, and worse, she wouldn’t sleep on the bed. I could take her being mad at me, but I didn’t want her being uncomfortable because of me. So, when I was sure she was asleep, I turned the light on and slowly got out of bed. I pulled out her headphones and turned off the music.

Then gently, I picked her up and set her on the bed. I pulled the covers over her and lied down on the floor.

I as I lied there, I began thinking about what happened. I really just hated Erin so much. I mean, I guess he was sort of nice to Lennox. But he was still staring at her chest the entire time, even if she didn’t notice.

But I was sure glad when he left and we went up to the roof. Once she began telling me about how she didn’t feel anything with Erin, all I wanted to do was kiss her. Believe me, I tried to hold back, but finally I just couldn’t, so I went for it. Even though I knew it was wrong. Not only did I have a girlfriend to think about, but I also had to think about what I was doing to Lennox.
Maybe forgetting it ever happened would be best.

Lennox’s P.O.V.

After we woke up, we each took a turn getting ready. Today was Saturday so I wasn’t completely sure what we would be doing. I didn’t want to do anything.

“Hey Andrew?” I asked.

“Yeah?” he replied.

“Can we spend a few days over at my house?” I asked.

“Sure. Just let me grab a bag of stuff and we’ll go.” He nodded his head. Hopefully, being in my own home might make me a little less nervous.

“I’m ready.” He said after a few minutes. I nodded my head and we walked to his car. When we got to my place there were no cars in the drive way so I figured my mom wasn’t home. We walked inside and I showed him around again.

“Help yourself to whatever you want.” I said. We went to my room and I pulled out all of my dirty clothes and put them in the basket. I really needed to do wash.

“Do you have anything that needs to get washed?” I asked.

“No, I’m good.” He said. I nodded my head and he followed me out to the garage where the washer and dryer were. After I put all of my clothes in, we went back inside.

“You play the guitar too?” He asked me looking at my guitar on it’s stand.

“Yeah. Do you play any instruments?” I asked.

“Yeah, the guitar.” He laughed.

“For how long?” I asked.

“A couple years.” He said.

“What kind of music do you like?” I asked.

“Mostly rock and alternative.” He said.

“Where’s your mom?” He asked.

“I’m not sure.” I said.

“When was the last time you spoke to her?” He asked.

“The last time I saw her I think.” I said.

“She hasn’t even called?” He asked shocked.

“No.” I said softly. And speak of the devil, I heard the front door open.

“Lennox!” I heard her shout. I motioned for Andrew to follow me and he did. I walked out but made Andrew stop in the hallway so she could just see me.

'“How long are you two staying here?” She asked.

“I’m not sure. Maybe a few days.” I said.

“I don’t why you have to stay here.” She muttered and sat down on the couch.

“I just thought it might be nice to stay here for a few days. Look if you want us leave, then we’ll leave.” I said.

“Just forget it! I’d rather have you here so I can make sure you don’t try to fuck him.” She sneered.

“Alright first of all, why are you being such a bitch? And second of all, I’m not going to try to fuck him.” I shouted.

“Your choice of clothing sure doesn’t get that message across. If you ever get raped it’s going to be your fault and believe me when I say this, I won’t be there for you.” She said. That stung. I didn’t think my outfit was trashy at all. And how could she say that to me? Little did she know, I actually had been raped. So, that just made everything worse.

“Lennox.” Andrew called out softly. I snapped out of it and turned to look at him. I didn’t know what to say so I just walked quickly to the back bathroom and shut the door behind me. I leaned up against the door and held my head in my hands. I didn’t realize I was crying until I felt my hands getting wet.

“Lennox?” He called.

“I’m fine. Just give me a minute.” I said softly. I wiped off my tears and washed my face. Once I got myself together, I opened up the door and walked past Andrew to my room.

“Are you ok?” He asked sitting down next to me.

“I’m fine.” I said.

“No you’re not. Why don’t we go back to my house?” He said looking me in my eyes.

“I have to wait for my clothes.” I said as my voice cracked.

“Once they’re done, we’ll leave.” He said and put an arm around me. I leaned into him and let the tears I was holding fall down my face.

“Not that I would ever let anything happen to you so long as I’m with you, but if anything ever did happen to you, it wouldn’t be your fault. You know that right?” he asked turning my face to look at him. I didn’t answer or nod my head. I just shut my eyes and leaned my head on his shoulders.

After some time, he shook me awake and we went to go check on the clothes. As soon as they were dry, I packed them up in a duffel bag. Since I knew I probably wouldn’t be back here for a while, I grabbed some more clothes, a couple more books, my journal, and my laptop. As soon as everything was packed, we got in his truck and headed to his house.

“I cleared out two drawers for you in my dresser.” He said as I began to unpack my stuff.

“Oh, thanks, but you didn’t have to do that.” I said.

“Don’t worry about it. It’ll be a lot better than living out of a suitcase.” He said. I nodded my head and put most of my clothes in the two drawers and then he gave me some hangers to hang up some stuff in his closet.

*****

“This is your bed, you should be sleeping on it.” I said, as we got ready for bed. We had spent the rest of the day swimming in his pool once we got back here.

You’re not sleeping on the floor Lennox, so drop it.” He said. I sighed.

“This bed is big enough for the two of us, you know.” I said.
“Somehow how I don’t think Macy would appreciate me sleeping in the same bed with you.” He snorted.

“Oh come on! We can even put a pillow in between us.” I said. I was about to make a snarky comment about how we had already kissed, but I was the one who said we should just forget about it. So, I opted to not say anything.

“Fine.” He sighed. I scooted over the other side and put one my extra pillows in between us.

“Better?” I asked as he turned off the lights.

“Much.” He said.

“Night Andrew.” I said.

“Night Lennox.” He said. I put in my headphones and turned my music on. I really needed some sort of distraction. No, not because I was sleeping in the same bed as Andrew. But because now that he was asleep, I was left alone with my own thoughts. And that’s a scary place.

Even though I didn’t want to, my mind thought back to my mom telling me that it would be my fault if I ever got raped. I hated her for saying that. How could she say that? Did being her daughter mean nothing to her?

As her words echoed in my mind, I remember the night that scarred me for life.

”I like being close to you.” He whispered in my ear. His name was Andy. He was sitting to the left of me. My mom was right across from me. She should have seen him. She should have noticed the way he made me uncomfortable. But she didn’t. She was too busy flirting with Andy’s friend, Jackson. Unlike Andy, Jackson was a nice guy.

“I need another beer.” Andy slurred.

“I think you’ve had enough.” Jackson said looking down at his cards. It was nine o’clock at night and we were camping, so there was nothing to do besides play cards.

“Nah, man. I’m just getting started.” He said. Again, my mom averted her gaze to Jackson and they began flirting again. I gasped when I felt Andy’s hand slide up my leg. I tried too push his hand away, but he was much too strong for me.

“I have to go to the bathroom.” I said quickly and got up. I just needed to leave, get away. I walked out of the campsite and to the campground bathrooms, about two minutes away. I entered the code on the door and pushed it open. The lights in the bathroom were on, but no one was in there. There was a small brown bench pushed up against the wall, so I sat on it. After I calmed down, I washed my face off and dried my hands. I pulled myself together and walked out of the bathroom. On my way back to the campsite I heard something rustle in the bushes, so I stopped.

“Hello?” I called out softly. Suddenly my body was jerked into the bushes and thrown to the floor.

“Get off of me!” I tried to say. A hand covered my mouth and another yanked at my shirt. I tried to scream but it just got muffled.

“Shut up!” He said. I knew it was Andy. He backhanded me and my vision got blurry, but I was still conscious. I felt him pull my shirt off. As he began to pull down my shorts I attempted to kick him. But he just used his legs to pin mine down. Next came my panties and my bra.

I knew what was going to happen, so I tried not to think about it. I shut my eyes as tears leaked out.

“Please stop.” I cried into his hand.

“Shut up!” He said more forcefully. Without warning, he slammed into me and I screamed into his hand. It hurt so much. The pain was unbearable. I just wanted it to be over with.

A few minutes passed, though they felt like hours, and he pulled out of me. He stood away from me and I grabbed my clothes to cover myself up. Without another word, he walked away, leaving me broken.

I looked up at the ceiling. As I closed my eyes a few tears fell down the sides of my face. I turned my music up louder so I couldn’t hear myself think. Finally, I cried myself to sleep.

*****

Andrew’s P.O.V.

A strange noise woke me up. I turned over and saw Lennox shoving a pillow into her face and her whimpering in her sleep. I could also hear her music blasting through her headphones. I sat up and turned the light on.

“Lennox?” I called. Her breathing quickened as she shoved her head into the pillow.

“Lennox, quit it.” I said and tried to pry the pillow off. Her grip was strong so I had to use both hands to pull it off her. She took a deep breath in and woke up. That’s when I noticed her entire body was wrapped in the sheets.

“W-what happened?” She asked sitting up.

“You were trying to suffocate yourself with the pillow or something. Are you ok?” I asked taking a good look at her face. I could tell she had been crying because of the tear stains on her face and the pillow.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.” She said and began to pull her legs out of the jumbled sheets.

“Then why were you crying?” I asked.

“I wasn’t.” She said looking away.

“You know, you’re an awfully bad liar?” I said.

“I’m fine.” She repeated.

“You’re going to have to talk to me sometime. We’re stuck together till the end of the semester. Can’t keep everything a secret.” I said.

“Andrew, I just I h-have nightmares, ok?” She said looking me in the eyes.

“About what?” I pushed. She sighed and put her head in her hands.

“Lennox, whatever it is, you can tell me. I’m here for you.” I said and put my hand on her back gently.

“You remember what my mom said?” She asked.

“About if anything ever happened…but Lennox nothing is going to happen.” I said.

“I know.” She cried.

“So then what?” I said confused.

“It’s not about what may or may not happen. It’s about what did happen.” She said.

“What do you mean? What happened?” I asked. I think I knew what she meant, I just didn’t want to admit it. I didn’t want to believe that someone could hurt her like that.

“I was raped.” She whispered. I pulled her into my arms and she let out a cry.

“I am so sorry.” I whispered into her ear as I held her close.

“It happened about two months ago. I had nightmares for weeks. Finally, I was so scared to go to sleep that I just wouldn’t sleep at all. But when I started sleeping here, they started to stop. I was finally able to get some sleep. But after today, I just can’t get my mind off of it.” She said.

“Well then I’ll stay up with you until you fall asleep.” I whispered in her ear. We laid on my bed for hours, not saying much. Eventually, she drifted off to sleep, and I followed soon after.