Amor Vicissitudine

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY SICILY!” Jaime was shouting in my ear as he held me down on the ground,

“Jaimur gurt orff mer ferce!” I was barely able to get out that sentence as Jaime smashed my face into the carpet. Ah birthday brawls.

This was a family tradition that Jaime and I had started on my sixteenth birthday when he had stolen the cake one of my friends had made me. And every year he’d go harder and harder on me, hoping he’d get me to tap out some day. And that day has yet to come.

I was even known for beating him on his birthdays.

He never spoke of it to his friends though. He was always seen as the little fucker who could kick anyone’s ass to China and back if he wanted to. Word of him getting pinned by his little sister was definitely not gonna be good for his rep,

“Not getting off till you tap out birthday girl!” Jaime squished my face deeper into the carpet.

I attempted at yelling at him but my face was being squished so hard it only came out as muffled squeaks.

Jaime was currently sitting on my back, pinning my arm down on the carpet and pushing my face into it as well,

“I’m sorry what was that?” Jaime leaned closer to my face, letting me pull it up,

“You fucking win!” I had to let Jaime get this one.

It was the nice thing to do,

“FINALLY!” He got off of me and threw both his fists into the air, shouting in celebration, “WOOH!”

He could get really loud.

It was kind of annoying sometimes. But what am I gonna do? He’s my big brother. I can’t change him at all.

I got up from my place in the carpet and walked up to him,

“Quiet down idiot the neighbors are gonna think something happened to me.” I slugged his arm playfully and Jaime laughed at me,

“Happy birthday, kiddo!” He grabbed me in a tight hug and kissed my cheek sweetly, “And no. I think the neighbors are used to our screaming matches by now.” He laughed and I did the same,

“Whatever! You’re still way too loud.” I walked from my bedroom where he’d had me pinned down, “So who-all’s coming tonight?”

Jaime always threw me really big parties, inviting most of his friends and a good hunk of my friends and the other dancers in the troupe,

“Everyone from last year and Tony. Oh and Jaxin and Natalie are back from New Zealand so they’ll be coming too.” Jaime followed me into the living room, walking past it into the kitchen where he started to make us breakfast,

“Yes! I missed those crazy little Kiwi Kids!” Nat and I had been working together ever since she had moved to San Diego.

She worked costumes and make-up for my part of the troupe so we’d gotten to know each other very well,

“Yeah, I’m glad they’re back too.” He leaned on the counter between the kitchen and the living room, “Oh hey, Dad’s coming, play nice.”

Oh no. Not Dad,

“You invited Dad?” I spoke in a condescending tone about our father.

Having never actually liked him really made it hard for me to think anything good of him,

“Why would you invite Dad? He didn’t come to any of my birthdays. He didn’t even come to my Quinceanera.” He never came to any of them.

Not even when we had invited him,

“Sicily, it’s the nice thing to do. And besides, I think he regrets leaving you and your mom alone.” No he didn’t,

“Why would he regret leaving us? He never loved us anyway. He moved on to another family when I turned six. He never regretted any of it. He’s a fucking asshole.”

“Hey! Don’t talk about him like that!” Of course you would be defending him.

Jaime still had faith that our father was a good guy, who had bad things happen to him,

“Usted no puede seriamente pensar que es una buena persona! Le dejó también!” We only ever spoke Spanish to each other when we were pissed off at each other or trying to make a point,

“Yo no creo que sea una buena persona, yo creo que él ha tenido algunas cosas suceden a él que él no puede cambiar!” Bullshit, Jaime,

“You have GOT to be kidding Jaime!” I stood up and glared at him, “There is NO WAY you can POSSIBLY think that’s true! Jaime he left you! He left you to fend for yourself with no money and nowhere to go! I don’t want him anywhere NEAR this house!” He shook his head at me and looked around at the ceiling of the kitchen,

“Sicily you’re gonna have to deal with him. He flew all the way out here from Mexico to celebrate your birthday.”

So that’s where the fucker was living. He moved back into that hell hole,

“He should have stayed home with his fucking whore.” I mumbled as I walked from the living room to the bathroom, “I’m gonna take a shower, so please, leave me alone?”

I could hear him sigh all the way from the kitchen.

I’m not gonna deal with our Dad’s bullshit at all tonight.