Walking Backwards

“Why isn’t your heart beating?” Curiously I looked up at Edward; my own heart was pounding away in my chest, almost as if it was attempting to escape. This can’t be right, Edward is standing right here in front of me he has got to have a heart. He looked down at me and started to back up, his arms unwrapping from my body. I know I heard right, because I kept my head there for a while before speaking up.

It is completely impossible for a person to not have a heartbeat. I mean, listen to my heart it is beating erratically because of all the emotions I have decided to go through today, so it very well might explode, or implode on itself. But Edward… there was nothing not a lub-dub—nothing. My eyes were searching his for an answer.

“Well… I think I should go.” He stated as he started to walk towards the door but I grabbed his arm.

“Edward don’t go—just what, why isn’t your heart beating I didn’t hear it beat, and I’m not an idiot.” I held on as tight as I could, it didn’t seem to have an effect on him in the slightest. He may have got away all those other times when I had pressing questions, but this time I refused, I poured my soul out to him, so now it’s his turn.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” he sighed, crossing my room back over to my bed and sitting down, shoving his hands through his hair as he let out another agitated sigh. This must have been something he had been trying to keep secret, but let his guard down when trying to comfort me. I didn’t care what it was, I just wanted to know. No, I didn’t want I needed to know.

“Oh my god,” I pointed a finger at him and he looked up at me as if saying so you’ve figured it out. “You are an alien made robot who has been sent down to earth to gather knowledge to give back to your superiors to see if our race is even worth letting live, right? Are you all metal under that,” I poked at his skin as I sat on my knees beside him, inquiring different things as I poked harder to see if I would feel something else that wasn’t right.

He choked and then started to laugh at me. I crossed my arms over my chest; well he said I wouldn’t believe him so… “No, I am not a robot.” He shook his head. “I’m… a vampire?” he had this goofy look plastered over his face as he looked at me, unsure if I would actually believe him or label him insane.

“Haha… you’re a vampire, that’s funny.” I wiped at my eye as I laughed. “Holy shit, Edward you’re a vampire!” My eyes bulged as I looked at him. He still couldn’t help the smile that was on his face at my sudden realization. “You jerk,” I hit him with my pillow that I pulled from the top of the bed.

“What, what did I do?” he held his arms up in defense.

“You let me say all that stupid stuff about vampires and you—you are a freaking vampire, now I feel like an ass a giant flabby ass.” I swung my pillow harder. He grabbed it and yanked it out of my hands. He held onto my wrists and pushed me back on the bed so that I was looking up at him.

“Aren’t you afraid of me?” he asked as he hovered over me. I looked up at him and shook my head. “Why, I’m a vampire Jacey, I could kill you.”

“Edward… You are no more dangerous than the people I surround myself with.” He let go of my hands and just stared down at me. I reached up and cupped his cheeks, the reason why he was always so cold finally making sense. “If there’s anyone I’m scared of, it’s Vincent. Why would I be scared of someone who constantly saves me and who is always there for me? If it weren’t for you, I would be dead right now.” I gave a sad smile of sorts, because what I was saying was true.

He rolled off of me and lay on his back. I scooted closer to him and lay near his chest, he didn’t move so I figured it was ok. I can’t believe this guy was actually a vampire, I mean it’s like something out of a book. I closed my eyes as silence washed over us, neither one of us knew what to say, but all I did know was that I didn’t want him to leave just yet. “So… do you drink people’s blood?”

“No, I’m what you would call a vegetarian; I drink the blood of animals.” He didn’t look down at me but I smiled at him regardless. “But,” he sighed as he traced his thumb along my neck. “You’re different; your blood attracts me in a way.”

“Is that why you had to get out of the car when I got sick and you gave me that shot?” he nodded his head. “I’m sorry,” I mumble.

“What for?” the rise and fall of his chest was soothing, as was his hand that was combing through my hair.

“If I’ve been a nuisance to you, I thought the reason you hung out with me was because you liked me, not because you wanted to eat me.” He tensed up a bit, and then rose up letting me fall back on his arm as he looked down at me.

“Jacey… you are an idiot because I do like you, I thought you would have figured that out.” I saw the corner of his lips twitch up in a smirk.

“Excuse a girl for not being able to read minds, but you always vehemently denied that we were dating.” I rolled my eyes.

“As did you, and it’s not my fault that I can’t read your mind, it’s hard to tell what you’re thinking—you have the most hair-brained ideas and for some reason all I get is static from you.” He sighed again, my eyebrows furrowed together.

“What do you mean static? And I take the rest of that as a compliment thank you.” I was biting on the inside of my lip.

“I guess you could say I can hear what others are thinking, all except you.” His lips were close to mine, and my heart could be heard all the way in my ears.

“Must suck having to hear all those thoughts of teenage horny boys,” I blurted as he was about to kiss me. He looked confused then sat back up and started to laugh. I wanted to hit myself in the face, what was my problem; did I really have to say that at that time? Could I not be normal for once? Do I have to ruin every moment like that.

He got up to leave again and I grabbed his arm yet again. “Where are you going?” He just looked back at me.

“I just don’t think it’s the best idea to be here.” I dropped his arm and looked away.

“Alright, then go if you want to. I don’t care, won’t make a difference anyway.” I crawled to the opposite bed and plopped down, staring at the wall across from me like an immature girl.

“Jacey don’t do that,” he sighed as he sat down and rubbed my arm. “You have got to understand how dangerous it is for me to be so close to you.”

“Like I said, go.” I shrugged him off. “I mean, I live such a perfect life where I am never in danger any way right? It’s much safer for me to be alone in a house with someone who uses me as a punching bag.” I said nonchalantly while sighing. That’s not what I was thinking at all, I thought you know we got these things off of our chest and now we would pretty much be inseparable. He tightened his grip on my arm and turned me on my back.

“Now that’s not fair,” he muttered as I finally looked over at him.

“It’s the truth.” I sat up and started to pull my shirt off.

“Jewlz what are you doing?” he said frantically.

“Oh shut up, I’m not being perverted,” I rolled my eyes as I held my shirt in my hand and turned my back to him. “See, that bruise is from this morning when I was pushed into the stairs. Those scars are from the times I’ve been lashed or when I’ve fallen on glass, not voluntarily. So excuse me for having a misconstruction of what is safe for me and what isn’t.” I jumped as I felt his fingers trace some of my scars. It was like someone holding an ice cube to your back, but it felt nice instead of uncomfortable.

“I told you I won’t let anything happen to you,” I heard the sadness in his voice. I was holding my shirt over my chest as I turned my head to look at him over my shoulder.

“I don’t need a hero to protect me from the shadows.” I sighed and flinched as his hand went over the middle of my back where my bruise lay. It was still tender, but the coldness from him felt good. “I’m not saying you have to take me with you, just don’t distance yourself from me… I’ve been so alone since I can remember and now having someone who wants to leave me… it’s worse than previously being by myself.”

He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and hugged me to him. “I won’t,” he breathed. I smiled as I leaned up and pecked him on the lips. He looked shocked and just stared down at me.

“That was for earlier, I know you wanted to kiss me but I kind of ruined the moment.” I giggled. He smirked.

“So, are you just going to stay in my arms topless, is this some kind of seduction,” he was pulling lightly on the shirt I had covering my front. My face turned a dark red as I pushed his arms away and jumped up off of the bed.

“Pervert… t-turn around while I change a-and don’t peak!” I yelled at him. I heard him chuckling as he turned around. I grabbed a pair of black baggy capris and a large black shirt. I changed into them and then jumped back on the bed.

“All done,” Edward asked without turning around.

“Yeah,” I muttered. He turned around and viewed me. “So…” I yawned a bit.

“Maybe you should get some sleep; your eyes are still puffy.” He smiled softly.

“Will you hold me? I know it’s silly but just until I fall asleep and then you can leave if you want.” I chewed on the inside of my lip more. He nodded; I crawled up to him and with my back to his chest. He scooted closer and laid his arm across my hip, I could feel him smelling my hair. I curled up a bit and was finally able to sleep.

It’s funny, I felt so at peace with myself now that I had all that off my chest, and he was so accepting. Not what I had thought would happen at all. I was thinking that he would be disgusted; I don’t even think that was a logical assumption, just what I had thought. Now here I am cuddling with him—I can still hardly wrap my mind around it. This was the first time I have gone to sleep and haven’t had a dream.

Beep. Beep. Beep. I looked up to see a hand, that wasn’t mine, shut off the alarm. I turn around and can’t help the smile that crept to my face. “You didn’t have to stay all night,” I whispered softly.

“I like watching you sleep,” he moved some hair from my face.

“Creeper,” I stick out my tongue. He grabs it with his index and thumb. “Et go ov my ong.” I rolled my eyes as he laughed at me.

“Why should I, I mean I am a creeper.” He smirked; his eyes were twinkling with amusement.

“Erk,” I sighed and sat back. He eventually let go and I pulled my tongue back in quickly. I rubbed the bridge of my nose.

“Headache,” he asked me and I nodded. “I’ll go get you something,” with that he was gone. By the time I sat up he was already back in front of me with a glass of water and some ibuprofen. I was baffled; all I could do was stare at him… “Oh, part of being a vampire, I suppose you could say. Here,” he pushed the glass to me. I popped the two little pills in my mouth and drank the water.

I can believe I had slept all day yesterday and all night, that’s what happens when I get emotionally drained. “Well, anything else other than reading minds and super speed?” Edward sat back on my bed.

“Only I can read minds, Alice has visions of the future, Jasper can sense and change emotions and what not,” Edward explained as I crossed my legs and watched him. “As well as being fast we are also strong.” His smirk widens yet again.

“So, question, why can you go out in the sun, I mean from the way other people talk about vampires aren’t you supposed to burst into flames?” I look at him curiously; I mean of course I would be curious. Now I can dispel all these rumors and such.

“Obviously, we don’t since you have seen me out in the day time. However, in directly sunlight our skin becomes reflective.” I heard him sigh.

“Like… a disco ball,” I smiled mischievously as he sighed louder. “So, I pretty much got an awesome vampire sparkly boyfriend now, how awesome is that?”

“I’m not sparkly,” he glared at me softly. My laugh was cut short as a door was slammed. Vincent’s home, I hope he just walks right past the door. Three knocks sound on my door and Edward hurries into my bathroom.

“Yes,” I pull my door open to look up at the haggard man.

“I thought I heard voices,” he pushed my door open further, it hit against the wall loudly making me jump.

“Well, there isn’t anyone here.” I motioned to the room. He glared down at me for a second then left, slamming the door back behind him. I gave another loud sigh as Edward came out and wrapped his arms around my waist. “I guess I should get ready for school.”

“No, we are taking the day off.” He smiled. “Get dressed though and we’ll leave somewhere, I don’t want you staying here too long. I know I can’t legally take you away right yet, so just give me awhile.” I nodded my head. I knew he was right. If I told them what Vincent has been doing they’d take me away, if I left Vincent then I would be taken away for being a run-away. But when I turn eight-teen I will be able to live where I want, and that was good enough for me.

“What do you have planned?” I turned to look up at Edward.

“You’ll just have to go get dressed and see.” He pecked my cheek while sauntering back over to my bed.