Changing the Girl

As I bring you to the highlighted point I ask you understand this: Ronnie has told Alex. Alex told Jack. Someone over heard and told the rest of the tour.

At first, I almost had a meltdown with nerves. I didn’t know what they’d think of me and I was afraid. I soon realized that was really stupid to think.

Ronnie led me to a room; one of Jacky’s headbands was wrapped around my head, covering my eyes. I could feel his hand on the small of my back, leading me there. “Alright Princess, don’t peek.” He whispered in my ear, making me smile at the nick name. I heard him unclick the door and I bit my lip nervously.

I was minorly freaking out: surprises always made me nervous. I didn’t do well with anxiousness.
The door opened and he led me in through the threshold. I stood with my hands clasped in front of me. Ronnie’s left hand (his right was still on my back) touched my arm. I jumped slightly. I was always jumpy when I couldn’t see. It was more of a habit. I felt his hand run up my arm as he moved behind me. Both hands traveled up to the bandana. Instead of untying it, Ronnie unfolded it slightly and pulled it down. It must have looked cowboy style. I had my eyes closed for a second. I opened them and blinked, terrified.

The room was full of the DONE tour members. I gasped and backed up a step out of pure instinct. I hit a wall-oh wait, that was Ronnie-and looked up. Ronnie looked down at me. His right hand placed itself on my side as the other smoothed my hair back. “It’s okay Princess.” He whispered, kissing my forehead. I swallowed dryly and grabbed the dropped hand that had been playing with my hair.

I reluctantly looked back to the people who had gathered. Everyone was here. But…why? Frank had a look of pain in his eyes. Alex and the boys of All Time Low looked ready to cry. Confusion must have been written on my face, for Gerard gave me a soft smile. “Sit.” Said Danny, indicating to the cushion next to him. I looked to Ronnie and he gave me a slight push. I walked to Danny and sat beside him. He gave me a reassuring smile and held my hand in both of his. “We know what happened and we know why. We’re not mad, I don’t know why you’d think that. We’re here to help you now.”

I shook my head, opening my mouth to contradict him. “I know what you’re thinking.” Said Matt. I looked to him. His bottom lip was trembling. Matt’s eyes swam with guilt and unshed tears. “That you don’t deserve our help. That you don’t need it. For once in your life stop being stubborn! Just accept the fact that you are a child, and you need help. Just accept you can’t do this on your own. You’ve fallen and we’re going to help you up babygirl.” Tears brimmed in my eyes as he said this so sincerely. I bit my lip to keep from crying.

“We’ve all been through hard times, and we’ve devoted our life to helping other people get through them.” Started Antz.

“Why the hell wouldn’t we help someone who’s helped us all?” Said Se7en. I shrugged, and looked down.

“I don’t expect anything back. I helped you because you needed it and I wanted to. Not so you’d owe
me one.” I said to my lap. I felt someone sit before me. I saw familiar hands come into my view. One was firmly placed on mine, while the other grew closer to my face. Two fingers hooked underneath my chin, and tilted my head up. I sat there, starring into the face of my idol. My hero. My reason to wake. My brother. “Allycat…” I whispered my old nickname for him.

“I want you to grow old. I want to be an uncle one day. I want you to fall in love, and out of love until it makes your head spin. I want to spend hours pacing waiting for you to come home, only to yell at you when you do. I want to lose countless hours of sleep over you. I want my sister to be around when I have kids. I want to wake up to you shrieking because Jack leaped on you in your sleep again. I want you to be happy. I want to die before you only to meet you when you go long after. I want to hug you every day. I want everything for you. I just…I want to be there for you. Always.” Tears streamed down my face as my brother told me everything I ever needed to hear. He moved the hand that had been gently holding my chin to whisk away the tears. “Don’t take that away please.” I lifted my right hand and placed it on Alex’s cheek. I pushed it forward and softly raked the hair away from his face. I swallowed dryly again and looked into his eyes. I brought my left hand up and he put his on my knee. I grabbed him to me in a hug, using my right to grab across his shoulders. I placed my hand on the back of his head and tangled my fingers in his light brown hair. His hand slid up my leg and wrapped around my waist. Alex’s other hand went down and wrapped around my torso higher. I put my face into the crook of his neck, and he pulled me down onto his lap.

I was on the ground straddling my brother while a room full of people watched. Never thought that would happen.

Alex started to rock back and forth, though quickly changed to side to side. He started to hum. And that one tune broke me down completely. Memories That Fade Away Like Photographs. He wrote that about me, but made it sound like a girlfriend. He didn’t want me exposed to the internet and fans at such a young age. I always loved that about him. He put my safety first. Alex was always overprotective. Especially when we were younger. I couldn’t walk out the door without a full report on: where I was going, who was going to be there, the phone number, when I was leaving, and a promise to call when I got there(then he’d just walk me to and from the place, sometimes staying there). Hell, Alex stopped band practice on numerous occasions because I was crying coming home from school. Bottom line: Alex is my savior. “Promise me you won’t leave me like that.” He told me in my ear. It was not a question, not in the least.

“Ally-“ I started.

“No. Don’t you do that. Don’t tell me you can’t do this. For me?”

“I promise you, I won’t leave you like that.” I whispered as more hot tears rolled from my eyes. I could feel tears soaking my own shirt.

“I love you Ms.Gaskarth.” He whispered in my ear. I smiled into his neck.

“I love you Mr.Gaskarth.” I could feel his breath go across my neck as he moved his face closer to me. I could feel his lips brush lightly against the soft flesh as he whispered for only me to hear.

“For you, I’d tear out my own heart and write our names together.”