Infinite

Holland’s first full day in the world consisted of gifts, lots of pink balloons and decorated onesies, and a huge family lunch planned in her honor. My father’s band mate and best friend, Greg Hetson, had made it over for the occasion, bringing sons, Hunter and Miles Hetson, and his godson, Caulden, who had given me my very first tattoo over a year ago.

I spent the morning chasing after Arch and Nico as Frida complained that she would never be able to sleep again. After lunch, most of us remained at the table while the others spanned out and Frida continuously asked our father if she could move in with Caleb.

“Frida, if you bother me one more time with that, I’m going to make you sleep in the shed until you turn 18,” he responded, pressing his fingers against his temples as she kept talking.

The group surrounding us chuckled, but Frida grinned. “Can I really? All I need is to move my bed and make sure the wifi reaches, but that’s totally okay with me, Dad. So long as I won’t be able to hear Holland crying at 3am.”

Upon noticing his glare, Frida got up from the kitchen table and yanked Caleb out of the room, muttering about how Kasey got to move in for the summer but she couldn’t spend her last couple years sleeping in a renovated shed.

“You’re not allowed upstairs!” Dad called after them, smiling as Frida groaned in frustration and changed direction. The two of them headed to the living room instead of her bedroom.

“You let Max’s girlfriend move in?” Hunter questioned, grinning at our dad, “I didn’t think that you condoned any of your children dating.”

Gina laughed at the memory of Dad and Max’s argument. “It wasn’t an easy decision,” she explained, subconsciously playing with a strand of Holland’s hair, “It took quite a bit of convincing.”

Miles, Hunter’s younger brother, turned to his dad and asked, “Dad, would you have let my girlfriend move in before I went to school?”

“No,” Greg replied, “But that’s because our house isn’t big enough, not because I don’t trust you. You’re going to do whatever you want to do anyway.”

Dad rolled his eyes at his band mate. “Just because Miles is 19 and Max is 18 doesn’t mean that they’re adults. Max hasn’t moved out yet and we pay their college tuition, so they still have to live by the rules.”

Greg laughed at my father’s uptight philosophy. “Brett, what do you think Max is going to do at college? He’s not going to be sitting alone in his room when his girlfriend is right at the end of the hall.”

“Rules breed rebellion, Dad,” I added with a smile.

“Plus,” Hunter added, “With being here, they’ll get used to learning to do things quietly.” He grinned and dodged as my dad reached out to smack him.

“Stop talking about us, guys,” Max muttered as he and Kasey came back into the kitchen. They’d made a run to the store to pick up Holland’s ‘Welcome to the World’ cake. Kasey was blushing as she held Max’s hand.

My brother set the sheet cake down on the island and turned expectantly as Gina handed Holland to my father and then went to get the cake ready to eat. “Round up the kids,” she told my brother, referring to Nico and Arch, as well as Frida and Caleb.

Max rolled his eyes but turned back to the swinging door to shout that the cake was here and they everyone should get their butts in here.

“Atticus,” my dad called as he stood up from the table.

I turned around.

“You remember our neighbors, Todd, don’t you? I mentioned to him earlier this week that we were having a little celebration. Could you head next door and invite him and his family over for cake, please?”

“Dad, I don’t really know them-“

“He’ll remember you,” he rebutted, shifting his daughter in his arms, “He talks about you and your siblings all the time. He was really impressed by you.”

I faltered at my dad’s flattery and gave in. “Fine,” I allotted, “I’ll go invite the neighbors. Somebody get Arch some cake.” I grabbed my phone off the table as it buzzed and headed outside, pointing Paulie and the kids in the direction of the cake as I passed.

I stepped out of the front door and headed down the driveway towards the sidewalk. I crossed over into the neighbor’s yard and headed up their drive to their walkway. Their house was slightly smaller than ours and a completely different style, but it was still impressive, definitely not something to come out of a cookie-cutter suburb.

I rang the doorbell and stood awkwardly, taking in the maroon door and the pedestal and large window along the left side of the front stoop. When the door opened, I was stunned silent by the guy standing in the doorway. I’d been expecting the familiar older man that I’d met or his wife, who I’d heard about, but the surprise of it being someone else took my words.

He wore camouflage cargo shorts and a black and white pop-art t’shirt. His hair was shaggy and dark brown and he looked young, maybe a year older than Max at most.

“Can I help you?” he questioned, already frowning at my awkwardness.

“Uh, yeah,” I muttered, getting my wits about me, “I’m Atticus, my parents live next door. They’re friends of Todd’s…” I trailed off.

“He’s not here,” he responded, reaching to close the door.

“Who is it, Spencer?” Another guy stepped into the doorway and I was shocked for an entirely different reason. This guy’s hair was the same color and his features similar and he wore a comic-book style inspired hat, a black long-sleeve, and a pair of acid-wash jeans.

He was twenty years old, I knew that for a fact, and his eyes were blue and mischievous, much like his personality.

“Chance?”

His eyes moved to me from his brother and he was just as shocked, but grinning. “Atticus? I just texted you, although maybe I would’ve stopped if I knew you were tracking me...”

“I-I wasn’t,” I stuttered, glancing between the two guys as the story of their lives came back to me. “Spencer? You’re his brother?” I asked the other boy, surprising him, “You live here?” I turned my confusion back to Chance.

“Yeah…” Chance trailed off, crossing his arms over his chest as he took a step in front of his brother in the doorway, “If you’re not here for me, what are you doing here?”

“My dad lives next door,” I explained, pointing in the general direction of the house, “He’s friends with Todd. He asked me to come invite him and his family over for cake…” I took another hard look at the half-brothers. “You two really live here?”

Chance was grinning and shook his head at the revelation. “Yeah, this is weird. Our parents live next door.” He laughed and glanced at his brother, who wore an expression of confusion and apathy.

“Oh, Spence, this is my friend Atticus, Atticus, this is my brother, Spencer,” he introduced, his perpetual grin still on his face.

“Nice to meet you,” Spencer replied before he turned to his brother and asked, “You’ve got this? I can go back to what I was doing?”

“You’re still welcome to come for cake,” I answered, “My parents are celebrating their new baby so there’s tons of food and stuff, if you’re hungry.”

Spencer offered a tight smile and then turned around and walked away, leaving Chance and I alone in the doorway. “He’s not one for parties,” Chance said, stepping back and offering for me to come in with his arm.

I stepped inside and took a look at the place. It was incredibly nice, outfitted with designer furniture, expensive art pieces, and a large wood-burning fireplace in the middle of the far living room wall.

“I can’t stay long,” I said, my eyes scanning the room and making their way back to the twenty year old, “I have to get back to the party.”

He nodded innocently and turned back to close the door. “Yeah, sure. Todd and Natalie should be home soon. They went to pick Brandon up from the airport.”

“Brandon?” I repeated curiously.

“I didn’t mention him?” Chance asked rhetorically before answering, “He’s Natalie’s son from her first marriage. He’s in his thirties, in the military, been camping forever with some buddies in the woods somewhere.” He rolled his eyes, showing his opinion towards his sort-of stepbrother without saying anything.

“I remember Todd mentioning him,” I replied, remembering the story he told Ronnie and I about his wife and her son when we met him months ago, “So are you just hanging around the house today or do you have diabolical plans with the guys later? Another trip to the park, maybe?” I smirked as I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Actually, no,” he said, “I was going to see if you wanted your oil changed later, you know, when you’re not so busy celebrating your sister’s pre-birthday.”

I shook my head at him and turned around to take another look at his house. I wondered how he felt when he ended up here after his mom got sick. From that little ice-skating neighborhood in Los Angeles to a house like this in Pasadena; Suddenly his ‘rich kid’ nickname made me feel guilty.

“I don’t know if I can get away until later,” I answered without turning back, “I don’t know if my dad convinced the babysitter to stick around and I wanted to stay and help clean up.”

“I’m not in any rush,” he replied, walking up so that he was at my side, “I don’t have any other plans. In fact, maybe I’ll take you up on that cake offer.”

“You can’t,” I said suddenly, my eyes moving back to his.

“Why not?” he questioned, turning towards me with his arms crossed over his chest, “I thought you said that your dad invited us?”

“He did…” I replied, “But Arch knows you. I really don’t want to explain to my family how that is. They won’t understand.”

Chance frowned, his usual smile gone. “Understand what, Atticus? I didn’t think there was anything to understand between us. We’re friends, aren’t we?” He folded his arms across his chest and his blue eyes looked down to me, waiting expectantly for my reply.

“Yeah, we are,” I said, “but they’re barely accepting the fact that Ronnie’s not going to be around anymore. I still get shit about him from everyone, so if I showed up at my new sister’s party with a guy who’s the nephew of my father’s neighbor and friend, it’s going to raise a lot of questions. I’m tired of answering questions.”

“I understand,” he said softly, his eyes glancing over my head and an annoyed look coming on his face. “Hang on.” He stepped around me and headed towards the doorway at the end of the small hall. I could hear pieces of the conversation that he was having with Spencer, even though I was trying not to.

When he returned, he looked flustered, but smiled anyway. “Just let me know when you want me over to look at the car. I bought the oil already. Wasn’t as expensive as I thought it would be.”

“Are you alright?” I asked as he pulled his hat off and pushed his fingers through the short hair on his head.

“Yeah.” He nodded. “Just had a wonderful conversation with my brother about some things that I really don’t want to get into right now.”

“Alright,” I allowed, my fingers touching his hand as he calmed down, “But if you want to talk about it, I don’t have anything better to do.”

“I thought you had to get back to your party?” He gave me a challenging look.

I shrugged. “Not if you need to talk about something,” I answered, “We’re friends. I can spare a few minutes.”

“No, it can wait until later,” he said, shaking it off, “Dealing with Spencer is just frustrating sometimes. I’ll let you know later-“ He stopped what he was saying and let out a curse, shaking his head at something I wasn’t privy to.

“What?” I asked, leaning back against their designer couch.

“I forgot that Todd and Natalie want Spence and I along for Brandon’s dinner tonight,” he told me, cursing under his breath, “I can try to get out of it and come by to do the car. I don’t really want to go anyway.”

“No, don’t do that,” I replied, “He’s family. You should be there. I’m sure that my dad won’t mind if Arch and I leave before clean up. We probably wouldn’t even be much help anyway. I’ll go see.”

“Atticus,” Chance rebutted, reaching to grab my wrist so that I couldn’t walk out of the house. I turned back to him, surprised by his proximity, and waited for his words. “I uh, I don’t want to pull you away from your family. I know that you’re big into it and I’d feel bad taking you from your sister’s party.”

“Don’t worry about it.” I shook my head. “It’s basically over anyway. All we’re doing now is eating cake and making fun of my brother. I’m sure nobody will miss me.”

He nodded slowly, his fingers letting go of my hand. “Alright then,” he said, his blue eyes stuck on me, “Should I meet you at your house or...?”

“Yeah, you better drive,” I agreed, “I don’t want them to wonder why some kid from next door is climbing into my car.”

Chance smirked at the use of the word ‘kid’ and stepped back, motioning for me to go. “Go ahead then,” he said playfully, “I’ll meet you there.”

“Half hour,” I responded, moving to stand in the doorway, “Then you can finally fix my car like you promised.”

He licked his lips and glanced up through his eyelashes, smirking per usual. “It’s not my fault you decided to take off to Colorado to rescue your wounded ex-boyfriend,” he commented, referring to what I’d told him since we started texting this morning.

“I’m not telling you anything anymore,” I stated, offering him a hard look, “You’ll just blab it out into the universe anyway.”

He shook his head at me rather than responding and pulled his phone from the pocket of his jeans, holding it up. “I’ll text you when I’m on my way,” he said, “You should get back before they think you got lost.”

I waved as I stepped out onto the front and headed down the walkway and back over to my childhood house. How it ended up that Chance’s uncle and aunt bought the house next to mine, I would never know, but it seemed that the universe had a statement to make.

I headed inside and met questions from my family in the kitchen.

“Todd and Natalie weren’t home,” I said before anyone could ask me anything more specific.

“What took so long?” Hunter asked, raising his eyebrows. Everyone tuned in for the answered from where they stood around the island, paper plates covered in cake and ice cream covering the granite.

Arch sat next to Nico in one of the chairs, looking like they’d allowed him to eat with his fingers. I decided not to comment on it and answered Hunter instead. “Their sons were home,” I said, “They’re nice. I invited them over, but they already have plans.”

Everyone accepted that answer easily.

“Speaking of plans,” I added as I stepped over and grabbed the piece of pink and white cake Gina was holding out to me, “I actually have to take my car in for an oil change, would it be alright if Arch and I left before the shop closes? It’s not a big deal, it’s just that the car has been making this pinging noise and now that I’m driving it all the time, it makes me nervous with Arch in the car.”

“I don’t want to leave!” Arch complained before my father and Gina could respond. He sat back in his chair and grabbed onto the arms, holding on in protest. “I don’t want to go, Atticus. We want to play video games with Max and Kasey.”

“Arch, I have to leave so you have to leave,” I answered, “I’m sorry, but you can play at home.” I took a step towards him and he pulled his feet onto the chair as well, bunkering down. “Arch,” I tsked, “Come on, you can’t stay here by yourself.”

Gina frowned at the tears that were building and spoke up, “He can stay, Atti. It’s fine. Paulie is staying late tonight to help put Nico down so we won’t be overwhelmed. You can pick him up in the morning. It’s no trouble really.”

“Gina, it’s Holland’s first night home, I don’t want to burden you with another responsibility,” I answered, walking over to Arch to pull him from the chair, “Arch can come home tonight. He can stay once you all get settled in with the baby. Plus, he doesn’t even have pajamas.”

“Atti, please,” Arch cried, tears coming again as I shot down his excitement, “Please, I want to stay and be part of the family.”

I lifted him out of the chair, pulling him backwards over the back of it, and held him in my arms as he cried, realizing that I wasn’t going to say yes.

“It’s no trouble, Att,” Max offered from his spot around the island, “He can hangout with me and Kase later. Dad and Gina won’t even know he’s here.” Kasey nodded along with my brother’s words, offering a smile.

While I already felt slightly guilty for sneaking out of Holland’s welcome party to spend time with Chance, I felt even guiltier at the thought of leaving Arch here with them, even though he wanted to. Somehow it felt like I was shucking all my responsibilities to run off and live wild. It was the same emotion from the early days of Ronnie.

That realization made me feel even worse.

“I guess so,” I said, hoping that making Arch happy would make me feel better, “If it’s no trouble then he can stay, but if it becomes too much with Holland and him or if he wants to come home at anytime, someone call me and I’ll be here.”

Arch went from laying limp in my arms with tears on his cheeks to grinning with his arms wrapped tightly around my neck. “I’m so excited for my first sleepover,” he cheered as he hugged me, “It’ll be so fun.”

He slid out of my arms and I set him down, turning him back to face me before he could run off. I took a look at his frosting stained face and wiped the last of his tears from his cheeks. “You have someone call me if you want to come home tonight,” I made him promise, “Sleepovers can be scary things. And you listen to everyone. No sarcasm or arguing.”

He nodded quickly. “I’ll be good,” he promised, lurching forward to hug me again. “Love you, see you at breakfast.”

I told him that I loved him too and then said goodbye to my new sister for the second time. I kissed my mother, hugged Nico, and called another goodbye to the little boy who was to be my son.

“Love you guys,” I called to everyone as I headed out, “See you tomorrow. Have a good night!” I stepped outside and made my way to the car. As I pulled out onto the street, I took a look at the house next to my parents’. I could almost make out the shape of Chance in the living room window and I drove off, feeling excitement building in the pit of my stomach.