Somewhere in Neverland

“This is complete garbage,” Alex whines because the guys are watching football and his beloved Ravens aren’t playing. “Baltimore should’ve gotten Detroit’s slot today!”

“Stop whining, bitch,” I say in a joking manner, nudging him slightly with my elbow. “At least I’m here.”

He smirks, pulling me onto his lap and grabs the back of my neck so he can place a firm kiss on my lips. “I guess that sorta makes up for it.”

Alex leans his forehead against mine and closes his eyes as he hugs his arms around my waist tightly. I take in a long breath and silently marvel in the serenity of having my entire family in one place at one time.

“Look at those little hornballs over there!” Luke’s voice ruins the moment as I grab a couch pillow and fling it at him out of reflex.

My dad clears his throat uncomfortably and I take it as my queue to peel myself from Alex’s lap and find something a little more appropriate to be doing with my time. He pouts when I stand up, but I merely stick my tongue out at him as I adjust my shirt over the small baby bump that no one but me has noticed. I wander into the kitchen where Isobel and Mama Savage are busy cooking dinner and making small talk with each other.

“Need any help?” I ask, interrupting their banter about stuffing.

Isobel looks around at the crowded counter of ingredients before shrugging. “If you want to, I’d love some help. You want to start peeling potatoes?”

“Sure,” I agree and set to work peeling the mound of potatoes that have been set out. “How have you been lately?” I attempt small talk.

“Oh, you know, I try to keep busy,” She says, opening the oven to check the turkey. “But we’ve been good. How has the tour been?”

I laugh and stop peeling, trying to think of the right words to describe the rollercoaster these past six weeks have been. “It’s been… interesting.”

“Not quite what you expected?” She raises her eyebrows and wears a smirk identical to Alex’s.

I shake my head. “Not at all, really. It’s been a really great experience, though. I’m glad Alex called and asked us to do it.”

Mama Savage eyes me in a way to tell me that I’m holding back an important piece of information. I send her the evil eye, but she only continues giving me the look. I clear my throat awkwardly and put the peeler down on the counter.

“I, uh, Alex and I are actually, you know, uh, together,” I choke out uncomfortably, but Isobel only laughs.

“Caroline, I knew from the minute Alex told me your band was going on tour that the two of you would get back together,” She places both hands firmly on the counter and eyes me with a hint of humor. “He hasn’t been the same since you left and I knew that if you agreed after all these years to go on tour with them that you had to, at least a little bit, still have feelings for him, too.”

“Oh,” I say, dumbfounded. I hadn’t thought of it like that before, but I guess she’s right. If I hadn’t had the slightest bit of interest in getting back together with him, I would’ve said ‘no’ with no second thought. But I did. I wanted, more than anything, to have my best friend back. I wanted to see if our relationship had withstood the test of time, so I allowed the boys to talk me into agreeing to tour. And I couldn’t be any happier with the turnout.

A pair of arms snake around my waist and I feel the burning sensation in my cheeks as Isobel wiggles her eyebrows at the two of us.

“Mom, I didn’t know you were going to put Caroline to work in here,” Alex whines.

I pull away from him self-consciously and continue peeling the potatoes. “I volunteered.”

“Yeah, I didn’t ask her to help. She did it out of the kindness of her heart,” Isobel backs me up with a wink. “You picked a good one, boy. Now either help us or get out of here!”

“I’ll only leave if she comes with me,” He says stubbornly.

I shake my head. “I’m not leaving. I’m helping them,” I try my best to put up a stern front, but the way he pouts makes me laugh. “Really, Alex. It’s the least I can do. Your mom is hosting my entire family and my band. She didn’t have to do this.”

“I’m gonna sing,” Alex completely ignores everything I just said to him. “And not well.”

“Please don’t,” I clamp my eyes closed and grimace as he begins belting out the words to Friday by Rebecca Black. “Shut the fuck up!” I throw down the peeler and the potato from my hands and turn to face him. He’s smiling triumphantly, but I’m not so easily convinced. “Alexander, I’m gonna punch you so hard that you won’t be able to breathe.”

“What?”

“I will punch you in the throat if you ever sing that song again,” I say seriously.

He fakes a hurt look and starts pretending to cry. “I tried so hard!”

“Please go away,” I shoo, but he’s being relentless and he pulls me off the stool and into his arms.

I glance at Isobel and offer an apologetic look, but she only smiles and nods like it’s okay. Quickly, I pull away from him and rush over to her, giving her a small kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for everything. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem, hon,” She smiles.

Alex leads me back to the living room where the football game has been replaced by The Blind Side. Most of the little girls ignore the movie and instead find humor in an old photo album while my band litters the floor and are entirely engrossed in the film. The exception is Theo, who’s curled up on the couch, talking quietly with Eliza. They look like they’re deep in conversation and I can only imagine what the topic is.

“And the lovebirds are back!” There’s nothing readily available to throw at Luke, so I merely flip him off.

Before Alex can pull me next to him onto the couch, Gracie and Georgia call me over to examine the photo album they’ve been flipping through.

“Is that you?” Gracie asks as I sit down next to them and take the book to examine the picture she’s pointing at.

“Yeah,” I nod, gawking at the page of pictures that sit in front of me. It’s not just the one picture that’s of me, but almost every picture on the page.

I stare blankly at the page of pictures and am reminded of all the memories Alex and I shared when we were younger. The picture the girls had pointed to is of me and Alex climbing trees in my old backyard. I’m way up in the branches and wear a mischievous grin while Alex sits just out of reach of my dad on the ground. We got in trouble that day; we weren’t supposed to climb that big oak tree because my dad was afraid we’d fall and get hurt, but he wasn’t mad enough at us to not snap a picture before he got us down. Another picture is of us on a fieldtrip to the aquarium when we were in fourth grade. I remember that day especially well because Alex and I got in trouble for causing trouble on the bus. Peter was our chaperone and had turned his back on us long enough for us to do something stupid. We were always doing something stupid, as evidence of the picture of Alex scaling the refrigerator in his kitchen while I stood lookout. It’s funny how all of these pictures were of us trying to be sneaky, but they were all captured on film.

“Alex, have you seen these?” I lean back and pull him onto the floor next to me. Liv climbs into my lap as Alex starts flipping through the pages. Gracie kneels behind me and wraps her arms around my neck, leaning into me to watch while Georgia scoots in close to Alex.

“I’ve never seen any of these pictures,” He laughs as he points to one where we wrapped ourselves in tinfoil and proudly boasted cardboard swords. “Look, we LARP’ed before it was cool!”

“Was it ever cool?” I ask.

He shrugs. “We made it cool!”

“You guys took baths together?” Gracie asks, pointing to one where we both sit in the bathtub, covered in bubbles. “Didn’t you meet when you were like, way too old to take baths together?”

My dad comes over and examines the picture and smiles, clearly remembering the day this happened. “They were wearing bathing suits. We were supposed to go to the water park that day, but it stormed and they were really disappointed, so we threw them in the bathtub and partied there.”

We sit and reminisce for a while, drawing the attention of Peter, Noelle, Samson, Finn, Natalie and Rhys in the process.

“You guys were so cute!” Noelle laughs as she points to a picture of me and Alex in our first grade Christmas class play. Alex was one of the three wise men while I was Mary. I distinctly remember fucking up during the play on purpose because despite my being adamant that being Mary was stupid, my teacher forced me into the role anyways. “What happened?”

“Oh, so funny,” Alex sneers. “Who was it that had a hardcore unibrow as a child? Oh wait, that was you.”

“I’m sorry I come from a hairy family!” She defends as the group erupts into laughter. “At least I tamed that beast. You, on the other hand, still have extremely aggressive eyebrows.”

“Why can’t we all just be friends?” Olivia yells, causing everyone to laugh even harder.

“Hello, we’re watching a movie over here,” Luke rolls over and scoffs at the crowd we’ve attracted. “It’s actually a very beautiful and moving story, so if you’d kindly be quiet, we’d really appreciate it.”

Roland smacks him upside the head and scolds him for being rude to the same people who’ve welcomed us in for Thanksgiving dinner. He apologizes and returns his attention to the TV as Alex and I decide we’re done looking at the album for now and the group scatters to watch the movie or entertain themselves some other way.

It isn’t much longer before Isobel and Mama Savage ask some of the younger ones to help set the table and the nerves start to kick in. I disappear into the bathroom, pulling Alex along with me and begin having what I can only assume is a panic attack.

“Alex, I don’t know if I can do this,” My voice quivers as I try my best to keep my nerves under control. “Not tonight. Not like this.”

He takes a step towards me and brushes my hair off my forehead with both hands before leaning his forehead against mine. “I’m nervous too, but we’re in it together, okay? I’m right here with you in this.”

I shake my head and fight back the tears that threaten to escape. “I don’t think I can do it.”

“Then I will,” He shrugs. “You told the boys and Noelle. I guess it’s my turn, huh?”

“Have I mentioned that I love you?” I whisper.

He nods, leaning in and kisses me softly. “I love you, too.”