Insane Love

A heartbreaking 3-2 loss to the Senators made me dread the "date" with Kyle later tonight even more. I knew he would probably come up with some dickhead remark like, "Unsurprisingly, the Laughs blew up a lead." or, "How do you lose control of your rebounds like that when you're tied 2-2 with 24 seconds left?" jokingly but I'm not in the mood for anything. Chris Neil was penalized for roughing and I wished Colton was there to kick his ass.

I had promised Kyle, though, so I had no choice but to let him pick me up and take us to a restaurant he had apparently already booked.

I continued to spread my medium-tone liquid foundation on my face before applying my concealer. I put on my mascara and topped my eyelids with a light shade of white eyeshadow. I carefully drew a line of liquid eyeliner and made a wing at the end, not too dramatic, but enough so it was noticeable. My hair was brought up in a big loose bun and I had taken my side bangs and flipped them equally to both sides and braided them up to the bun.

I looked at myself in the large mirror on my hotel room door. I wore a red dress with thin straps and it reached down to my thighs. I finished it all off with a pair of black 5 inch high heels.

My phone vibrated and I glanced down at the "i'm parked right outside the lobby :)" text from Kyle. I headed out the door and down the hall. Once I got off the elevator, I opened the front entrance of the hotel and shivered due to the cold Winter air in Ottawa. I pulled my black sweater closer and looked around for his car.

"Hey!" Kyle rushed over to me.

"Oh, hey!" I smiled.

"Long time no see?" he grinned.

"Yeah, no kidding." I laughed and we hugged lightly. He had definitely changed. He wasn't the same Kyle who wore collared shirts with round glasses. He didn't have the same wavy brown hair and shy smile. Even though I still thought he was decently handsome back then-- he was way more than that now. He had spiked the front of his hair up, not too much with gel to make it look greasy or wet, it was just perfect and looked natural. He grew taller and was wearing white under his black suit with a red tie. The freckles on his upper cheeks and under his green eyes stretched out as he let out a wide smile after we hugged.

"You look amazing." he looked at my dress and then back up at my eyes.

"Thanks." I blushed lightly enough for him not to notice.

"So, uh, wanna get going?" he said confidently.

"Yeah, it's freeeezing out here." I exaggerated as I stepped inside his black Audi R8 in the passenger seat beside him.

After a short 10 minute drive without any awkward silences, we arrived at the restaurant. The lights were dimmed and the volume was kept low by the many couples that were seated. The tables were covered with white and each had a red rose in a clear vase in the center. I couldn't help but admit that this was all romantically beautiful. We were seated at a table by the window, giving us a great view of the city.

"This place is really great." I said.

"Glad you like it." he nodded slightly. The waiter came over. "A bottle of french Coche-Dury Corton-Charlemagne Grand Cru, please." he looked over at me looking back at him.

"Kyle.. that's a $1000 wine." I said knowingly.

"I know." he winked.

The waiter came back with the bottle and Kyle did the honors of pouring it in our glasses. We then ordered our meals. After a few minutes of scanning through the menus, he requested a beef filet wrapped in bacon and served with steamed green asparagus and hollandaise sauce. I chose the red lobster and stir-fried kale with garlic butter potatoes. Colton loved garlic butter potat--- I shook my head, stopping myself from thinking about him.

"So, how's life?" he set his fork down.

"Not bad." I said. "How about yours?"

"It's better now." he smiled.

"Um.. tell me something I don't know. It's been a while, I think we should catch up." I took a sip of wine.

"Well, I recently got promoted to senior doctor. Andy stepped down and I was the first they came to." he explained.

"Congratulations!" I exclaimed. It was always hard to say something like that to someone in a rival organization but I was truly happy for him. "Yeah, it must be busy now because of all the injuries."

"Oh yeah, definitely." he said and took another bite of his beef filet. "I also changed my favourite colour to green."

"Fascinating." I said sarcastically. I laughed at it, though. I was actually impressed by him so far.

"I'm just trying to keep the conversation going." he put his hands up, surrendering, and chuckled. "How about you tell me something about yourself?"

"Well, I found my favourite purse that I lost last month."

"Fascinating." he mocked.

"Hey!" I laughed.

"You've really changed a lot," he began. "In a better way though."

I blushed and looked down as I mashed the potatoes on my plate lightly with my fork.

"I've missed you." he gulped.

"Me too." I admitted friendly. Just as I said it, I felt my phone vibrate in my sweater pocket which was hanging on my chair. I ignored it and decided not to look and ruin the moment.

"I'll be right back." he got up from his chair and smiled. I nodded and watched him head for the -Men's Bathroom- sign.

I quickly pulled out my iPhone and viewed my newest text. And of course.. it was him.

10:17- Colton: Hey, you busy?
10:17- Mia: uh kinda, yeah.
10:18- Colton: like, super busy?
10:18- Mia: yes. Why?
10:18- Colton: I need to show u something
10:18- Mia: huh? what are you talking about? where are you?
10:19- Colton: where are you?
10:19- Mia: I just asked you that!
10:19- Colton: same
10:20- Mia: K.
10:20- Colton: lol what are you, 10 years old?

I laughed hard at that, causing one of the waiters to look over at me. I put my hand over my mouth and looked back down at my phone on my lap.

10:21- Mia: lol omg what do you want?
10:21- Colton: you.....
10:22- Mia: i don't have time for this I have to go
10:22- Colton: Can't you just tell me where you are??
10:22- Mia: Ottawa.
10:23- Colton: Not specific enough but so am I.
10:23- Mia: I thought u had to stay back??
10:23- Colton: Yeah but Jordan said my appointment was rescheduled for tomorrow so i came here earlier today. Sat in the press box.
10:24- Mia: well i can't leave and go anywhere right now
10:24- Colton: just tell me where you are and i'll come get you. Are you at the hotel?
10:25- Mia: i'm on a date.
10:26- Colton:
10:27-Mia:
10:28- Colton: Of course.

The break in between my last message and his reply made me cringe at my own feelings. I felt like everything in my stomach dropped and I couldn't feel my own heartbeat. I couldn't dare reply to that text. Even though it was a simple "Of course" I could picture him saying it. That disappointed look on his face that could make anyone wonder what they did wrong.

"Hey," Kyle said and sat down on his chair. "Sorry for taking so long and making you wait for so long. I got a phone call from Paul MacLean about next game." he took a few seconds and studied the look on my face. "Hey.. what's the matter?" he asked gently.

"Nothing. Can we go?" I breathed.

He paid for everything and put my sweater over my shoulders. We walked to his car without saying anything. I admired how one thing about him never changed-- he knew when to stop asking a girl questions. I felt cold. My lips were dry, my head was spinning, my back was sore. A nice evening suddenly turned into an ill night. I flipped my phone on and looked at our conversation again. I kept swiping at my "i'm on a date" text, trying to delete it, even though I knew I couldn't. I wish I could. I wish I never sent it.

We pulled over and turned into the front road by the entrance of the hotel, where he had picked me up. The only thing bright was the full moon and the lights that shined down from the building. We sat in silence in his car for a few moments.

Kyle turned his head towards me, "Is it something I did or said?"

"No." I replied right away. "Trust me, it wasn't you."

"Please don't lie to me." he shook his head.

"It's really not you." I assured.

"Are you.. seeing someone else?"

"It's not like that." I sighed. "Everything is complicated."

We stepped out of the car and he came over to my side while standing on the steps. "I want you to be okay before I leave you here."

I smiled faintly and replied, "I'll be okay."

"Okay.." he said sadly.

"Thank you for a great night." I put my hand lightly on his arm.

He nodded slowly and we stood there, staring at each other. I couldn't even concentrate. My mind was racing and all I thought about was the only guy I had deeply fallen for.. and it wasn't Kyle.

He calmly and slowly leaned in, like I was some sort of loose animal, that you had to be gentle with. Maybe that was true and maybe if this was on any other day, I would have given in. But not tonight. Once there were about 6 inches between us, I took a small step back.

"I'm sorry." I shook my head and swallowed.

"No, I'm sorry." he said quickly. "I shouldn't have tried to do that."

"I think you're a great guy, I really do. But I just need some time.. to clear everything up." I said truthfully.

"Yeah, I understand." he nodded.

"Bye, Kyle."

"Bye." he smiled. "You can always call me."

I smiled back and watched him drive out and down the road. I pulled my sweater closer and wrapped my arms around my chest. I crossed my arms and turned around to head into the hotel.

They say, "Good things come to those who wait."

Well I was done waiting. I knew what I wanted and I was going to go get it.

As soon as I stepped inside thinking that I would be going straight up to my room, right in front of the clear see-through entrance door, Colton was standing there in the lobby. The butterflies in my stomach were back. His left hand in his jean pocket, and right hand holding a bouquet of flowers which pointed to the ground. I bit my bottom lip trying to hide back a smile but I was already standing there smiling at him like a desperate tired housewife. He was too many steps away from me. I was just about to run into his arms. I couldn't resist it anymore. I wanted him. I wanted him to hold me, to feel me, to protect me. I wanted him to kiss me inside out.

I was about to say his name, so my mouth slowly dropped open. But then so did the flowers.

He wasn't smiling. My smile faded.

He shook his head slowly and spoke, "I guess you showed me something tonight, too, Mia." he laughed slightly but I knew he was being serious. I had never seen him like this before. I couldn't tell if he was hurt because I went on a date, or because of what I guessed he saw right outside the hotel. It suddenly hit me that Kyle's back was facing the hotel the whole time. So, when he leaned in towards me...

"I'd say have a nice night." he stared me down. "But it sounds like you already did." he then turned and started walking slowly, limping on his injured leg, down one of the halls on the 1st floor that we were still on. I had never felt more empty in my life. He walked away from me. Leaving me standing alone in tears.

Others say, "You don't know what you have until it's gone."