In a Lawless Love

Three months into Charlotte’s pregnancy Amber was getting married to her kitchen boy. Charlotte had gone to great lengths to be sure Amber had the dress she dreamed of wearing and the seamstresses had spent months creating a gown more beautiful than even they had imagined.

The wedding would be held in the garden where Charlotte’s one wedding had been held. The flowers were blooming beautifully despite it not yet being spring. Matthew had chosen not to attend the ceremony. He had a meeting with a man involving a mule. Charlotte was not upset by this.

Charlotte and Jason still continued their affair though they both knew well how much danger they were in each time they met. Matt had done well in Charlotte’s request to leave her be during the months of her pregnancy and she enjoyed the space greatly.

She went into the kitchen, something she rarely did, and watched as the cooks prepared a feast for the wedding in the afternoon. All of the kitchen staff were overjoyed to prepare a meal for one of their own to be married. Cakes and pastries baked in the massive ovens and soups boiled on stoves. It seemed to Charlotte as though thousands of pounds of seafood had been brought in and was being cleaned and prepared accordingly.

“Mrs. Hayes,” a young cook said and gave Charlotte a look of fear.

“Hello,” Charlotte said. She smiled at the girl warmly. “What is your name?”

“It is Charlene,” the girl said.

Charlotte gave her a nod. “Continue then with your work, dear,” she said and moved further into the kitchen. Mildred, the old head cook, stood at the stove stirring a pot of soup. Her grey hair perfect in its bun, not a single strand out of place. She raised her eyes before turning back to the soup.

“Mrs. Hayes,” she said. “What is it we may do for you?”

“I’ve only come to observe,” Charlotte said. She’d known for some time that Mildred was no fan of hers, though why she wasn’t sure. She’d only seen the woman a few times and she’d always been kind to her.

“You shouldn’t be in here in your condition. Suppose you were to slip in those lovely shoes on a slick of grease from the stove? Mr. Hayes would be heartbroken,” Mildred said in a bitter voice.

“My condition is none of your concern, Mildred,” Charlotte said with slight frustration. How this woman even knew of her pregnancy was a mystery. Charlotte had kept it to herself and doubted that Matthew had made a point of telling the kitchen staff.

Millie turned to face her then with her spoon raised. “I know the truth, and should you like to keep it from Mr. Hayes I would think you should be kinder.”

“The truth? The truth of what?”

“I know the child you carry is no heir to this,” Millie said.

Charlotte could feel her heart start to beat faster against her chest in a painful pounding. How could this woman know that the child wasn’t Matt’s? How could she begin to understand that Charlotte carried the child of her driver? Of her lover?

“You know nothing of what you speak,” Charlotte said venomously. “If not for Matthew’s unusual devotion to you I would have you discharged at once for making such a ridiculous accusation.”

“Your guilt is clear on your face,” Millie said and returned to her pot of soup.

Charlotte took a breath before reaching across the old woman and taking a bread roll from a tray. The bread was still warm from the oven and smelled as beautiful as she thought any bread could. It was then that she very deliberately tore the roll in two and plunged one half into the pot of soup Millie was tending too.

“You may think yourself important, Millie, but you should remember who is the higher power in this moment,” she said before taking a bite out of the roll covered in soup, and dropping the rest back into the pot. She left the kitchen then in a rush, anger flushing her cheeks, and no sooner than was she through the doors did her breakfast travel up her throat and onto the carpet.

She stood straight when she felt she couldn’t vomit anymore and straightened her clothes before going to Matt’s office with determination. She burst through the door, her cheeks still red with anger. Matt looked up from his paperwork and examined her with shock.

“Wife, what is it I can do for you?” he asked.

“I should appreciate your staff not say ridiculous things to me concerning your heir. To believe that…that Mildred woman should attempt at all to say something so vile,” and she broke into tears. She hoped the tears would make him believe her over Millie if Millie should so happen to disclose her suspicions.

She made a dramatic attempt at a collapse and placed her hand on his desk for support. She felt a wave of accomplishment when she felt Matt’s hands on her shoulders, trying to pull her up and support her.

“What is it she said, darling?” Matt asked with concern.

“She made a horrid accusation that our child should be anyone but yours. Such a vile ridiculous thing for anybody to say…to even think. When I love you so, to think I would consider carrying the child of any other man…oh it makes me sick just to think it. That woman is hateful!”

“There, there, darling,” Matt said and ran his hand over her arm. “I should talk with Miss Millie and resolve this issue. No need to upset yourself, especially when you plan to attend the wedding this afternoon.”

“Oh Matt, it was so horrible. That she should doubt that I love you,” she cried.

“There, there, Charlotte darling, perhaps you should lie down. I wouldn’t want anything to happen with you in your condition.”

He lifted her into a chair before calling for a maid to take her to her room so she could rest. She sat still in the chair, sniffling and praising herself silently for convincing her husband that she in fact loved only him.

An old woman came into the office, short with steel grey hair, and aided Charlotte in standing from the chair she’d occupied. Matt watched as the two left his office before falling into his office chair. He hated the idea of having to speak seriously with Millie. He’d loved her as his mother for nearly all his life and now he knew he had to address this issue. He didn’t want any person in his staff upsetting Charlotte now for fear the baby would be lost somehow.

He sat and thought for a long minute and finally picked up his phone to page Millie into his office. It would be difficult but he felt it necessary. He spoke briefly into the phone and hung up quickly and he waited, his head down and his hands folded impatiently.

Millie came into the office slowly, her apron stained with the sauces she’s been preparing for the event that would take place in the afternoon. She knew why he’d called her and she knew it would be difficult for both of them to have this conversation. She’d worked in the house since Matthew was a child, she’d loved him like the son she’d never had. She’s cared for him in sickness and she’d been proud to see him take over the estate when his father had passed away.

“You called for me, Mr. Hayes,” she said and bowed her head. She was old now and he could see in her face and hands the years of work she’d put into the kitchen of his home.

“Miss Millie,” he said and sighed. “Sit, please,” he said and waved his hand towards the chairs.

She was hesitant at first but finally she sat. She twisted the corner of her apron in her fingers as he sat silently for some time. It felt strange not to be joking with him and laughing the way they always had. She now regretted having ever said a word to Charlotte.

“I’m sorry it ever came to this,” Matt said and stood, his hands held behind his back as he paced the floor for a moment. “My wife has come to me with some very distressing news.”

“Mr. Hayes, I assure you anything I may have said to her was only with your best interest in my heart,” Millie said.

“Miss Millie, how am I to believe such a thing when you would say to her the child is not mine,” he said and stopped at his window, unable to look at her, unable to look at the tired old face and keep his demeanor.

“Matthew,” Millie started.

“You should address me as Mr. Hayes,” Matt snapped.

“Mr. Hayes,” the old woman said in a soft defeated voice. “I said no such thing. I should never say something so horrible. I know well that the child is yours. I only wonder if its mother is as good hearted as you think her.”

Matt turned to face her now, his face hard with anger and frustration. “Charlotte is as good hearted as they come. You should see that first hand for the fact that though she has the power to discharge you at once she did not. She’s come here and made me see things in a way I never have. I see now…that all people have hearts. That in so many ways my own was very frozen.”

“You are a business man, Mr. Hayes,” Millie said.

“That I am,” Matt agreed. “But perhaps business and riches mean little when you’ve a heart of ice. I’ve had much time on my hands, to consider this. Mrs. Hayes has asked I give her an appropriate amount of space while she carries my heir and I’ve had much time to think perhaps I’ve not been kind enough to her. So, for that, I much address the issue at hand.”

“I apologize sincerely, Mr. Hayes, for any upset I may have caused.”

“Your apology, while appreciated, is far from enough to make up the difference. Charlotte was quite upset, so incredibly upset she had to be escorted to her rooms to lie and rest until the festive this afternoon. I’m sorry, Millie. I love you dearly, I should tell you this honestly. But I’m afraid I should have to suspend your position for a short time.”

“But, Sir…” Millie said and gave him a pleading expression. “You…you can’t suspend my position! I’ve been head of the kitchen…”

“It should be only for two weeks. I’m quite sure the staff will manage well without you. You should stay in your rooms for that time.”

“To believe! To believe you’d hurt an old woman, a woman who held your hand through fevers and stomach pains, who fed you and cared for you…who treated you as a son! That you should do that…in favor of that…that…”

“Hold your tongue, Mildred,” Matt snapped. “You should be quite grateful I have not terminated your position! Mrs. Hayes was nearly hysterical when she came to me! Remove yourself from my office at once, you should be quite comfortable in your rooms for the next weeks. And…for your outburst I must add that you should not attend the wedding this afternoon. Good bye,” he finished.

“Perhaps, Mr. Hayes, your heart remains quite frozen,” Millie said then and left the office in a rush.

Matt put his hand over his eyes for a moment to aid the pain in his head. The afternoon had turned so quickly and suddenly he was aware that he could never fully repair his relationship with Millie. He paged Victor into the room.

“Sir,” Victor said.

“Have some medication brought, I’ve got a terrible headache. And cancel my appointments for the remainder of the day. I’m in no mood to deal with work.”

“Of course, Sir,” Victor said and left the room in his stiff formal walk.

Matt sat on the edge of his desk and looked around the office. The paintings were all paintings Charlotte had made, one of the summer house, one of the beach, and one of herself sitting at the window of her rooms, her hair down and the wind blowing it slightly. He loved that one most and it hung directly across from his desk. It had taken her a great amount of time to paint it but it was the most detailed and most lovely she’d ever done for him.

As he looked at the portrait he made a promise then to show her how he loved her so that she should be happier, for even in the portrait he could see the sadness of a caged animal in her eyes. He did not ever want to see that look in her face again.

Victor returned with a small bottle of a white liquid used for pain. “You appointments have been canceled, sir.”

“Thank you, Victor. I should have another request for you. I ask that you have all the bottles of alcohol removed from my rooms. The drink only clouds my mind, and I should like it to be clear.”

“Of course, sir,” Victor said and gave a short bow.

“How is your mother, these days?”

“My mother should die soon,” Victor said. “It should be better. She’s very sick.”

“Yes,” Matt said. “I should see to it that my personal doctors make her as comfortable as possible during her final days. I dismiss you for the afternoon, Victor. Enjoy what’s left of today. Life is indeed quite short.”

The wedding started late. Amber was nervous in her dressing room, with tears on her face. Charlotte was with her, assisting her in putting her veil in. “Do not cry, darling, this is a happy time,” Charlotte said.

“They are indeed tears of happiness, for I love Robert very much. I am forever grateful to you, Miss Charlotte. You’re friendship is the reason I should be married today,” Amber said.

“And yours, dear, is the reason I’m so very happy to be here,” Charlotte said and Amber stood to embrace her tightly. “You are beautiful. You should be very happy.”

“I am already happy,” Amber said and wiped away the tears that stained her eyes. “Should we be going out now? I am quite ready.”

“Let us go,” Charlotte said with a smile and linked arms with her maid. The two women walked together to the garden and Charlotte kissed Amber once on the cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you as well, Miss Charlotte.”

“I would appreciate very much that you address me as Charlotte.”

“It is against my orders.”

“You are not only my maid, darling, you are my friend, and I should have you address me as so.”

Amber’s eyes filled with tears again. “Then I should forever address you as Charlotte, my friend.”

She left Charlotte’s side then and the wedding they’d prepared so quickly began. Charlotte sat and watched and she for the first time felt as though maybe being brought to this world was not as horrible as she once thought it. She’d been put there for many reasons and though she still despised the look and feel of her husband she should forever love her friendship with the maid girl and her romance with her security driver.