Flourish

Bambi has been avoiding Ryan, it has been a week since her uncle sat on her bed and she is terrified, her parents and her uncle are out today and Ryan is picking her up soon. Ryan is nervous something has changed between him and Bambi she has been so distant the past week and Ryan cannot understand her sudden mood change. He parks his car in front of her house and knocks on her front door, Bambi opens the door immediately and her body takes a big sigh at the sight of Ryan, he will protect her.

“Hey” He says awkwardly swinging back and forth on his heels, he shoves his hands in his pockets and Bambi rushes over to hug him, he smiles as he plants a small kiss on the top of her head before he wraps his arms around him.

“Can we go anywhere but here?” Bambi asks, he can hear her heart beating and it is almost erratic, he wonders if it is because she is hugging him.

“We could get coffee”

“I just want to be alone with you…” Bambi mutters, Ryan fights a smile from consuming the entire bottom half of his face,

“We could go to my place”

“Is Tony there?”

“He isn’t this time” Ryan says, Bambi smiles it is a little forced but not so much as usual because Ryan is taking her away from her problems, he is offering her a small reprieve from sadness and worry and she is more grateful than ever before that she has Ryan. “How’s the visit going?” Ryan asks, Bambi had mentioned briefly that her uncle is staying with her,

“It’s okay; we are keeping our distance… He brought his girlfriend’s daughter” Bambi says quietly, she is not so much sad for herself but sad for Karla and all that Bambi could have saved her from. “She is… she’s just defeated”

“How do you mean?”

“She walks around you can just tell she is not happy”

“How old is she?”

“She’s ten, but she looks so much younger, she is so small”

“Why are you so concerned about her” Bambi freezes, she needs to make up a lie but talking to Ryan feels so nice, to tell someone else that she is worried is nice and it is are life, Bambi will have to be okay with a small relief from her problems because she cannot say anymore.

“I’m not… She just seems so different to how I was when I was her age” Ryan nods, they pull up to his apartment complex, Ryan makes a point of showing Bambi Tony’s empty car space, Bambi giggles and feels tension leave her body. Ryan grabs her hand and they walk into his apartment, “I never really got the grand tour last time” Bambi says feeling herself break through again, she is happy and a smile settles on her face.

“Well this is the kitchen,” Ryan says sweeping his hand in the direction,

“Can you cook?”

“I cannot but I can try” Bambi giggles

“You’d try for me,”

“Of course, here is the kitchen” Ryan says with a silly smile on his face, he likes having Bambi in his house she is staring at him with the look from a week ago and Ryan has missed this Bambi, he is glad she is back and makes a deal with himself not to let this side of Bambi slip away again, even for a minute. “This is the lounge room” Bambi’s heart is beating nervously in her throat as Ryan leads her to a familiar door, “And this is my bedroom” Bambi lets go of Ryan’s hand and walks into the average sized room. His bed is big and Bambi imagines him sleeping peacefully, she blushes at the thought of sleeping next to Ryan.

Bambi stands awkwardly and Ryan pulls her to sit on his bed, her heart beats a million beats in her chest as Ryan leans in and lightly presses his lips against hers, she can barely breath at the emotions swimming in her chest. Bambi is sitting next to Ryan but she wants to be closer, he is a good kisser and the kiss deepens, Bambi opens her mouth. Ryan grabs the back of Bambi’s head and pulls her closer, he hesitates before pulling her to sit in his lap, Bambi does not know what to do and she kisses Ryan with all the passion she has. Ryan’s hand rests on her thigh and suddenly she feels it, it. She feels Ryan and she is no longer thinking about kissing Ryan, she is scared that he will touch her and he will see her, she does not want him to see her like that yet.

Ryan notices Bambi’s hesitation and pulls away, he is acutely aware that Bambi is straddling his lap and that his erection is pressing into her thigh, “Are you okay?” He asks, Bambi looks Ryan in the eyes and tears form in hers, Ryan hugs her close and holds her while she sobs. “It’s okay, we can stop” Ryan soothes

“I’m sorry,”

“Don’t be, it’s okay Alice, it’s okay” He says patting her back softly, Bambi pulls away and looks Ryan in the eyes, “What is it Alice?” Ryan asks, Bambi hesitates because she truly wants to tell him but she is terrified.

“I just got nervous” She lies biting her lip, she awkwardly moves out of Ryan’s lap and sits next to him on his bed, she does not want to be in this room anymore, it is making her head spin with strange thoughts and feelings.

“That’s okay” Ryan says, he leans over and plants a soft kiss on her forehead, “I’m glad you told me” Bambi smiles but it is a weak smile because she has not told him and it makes her feel like the worst human being in the world. “Do you want to watch a movie” Bambi glances at the bed her eyes going wide, “In the lounge room” Ryan says,

“What movie?”

“I went to my sister’s house and stole her daughters copy of Alice in Wonderland” Bambi smiles and stands excitedly, “I’ll make some popcorn” Bambi and Ryan snuggle on his couch until the sky is dark and Bambi needs to go home, she does not want to leave Ryan, she wants to stay with him and watch old Disney movies, but she cannot.

Bambi locks her door that night and sleeps well for the first time in a week.