Insanity

Was this really happening? Was I really, finally here?
It was still so hard to believe... but alas, it was all real.
I, Elise McCready, a simple twenty-four year old girl from Camden City, London, am in the final twelve acts. I have made it to The X Factor Live Shows.
The last of us consisted of myself, Lucie and Stacey for the girls, as well as nine other acts; three in each category.
For the boys, there was Joe McElderry, who I hadn't gotten the chance to speak with much, but the little that I did, I found out that he was a really sweet kid with a great voice. He had a great smile, too, and was just a wonderful person to be around. Rikki Loney was another boy, also with a good voice and a good personality. But Lloyd Daniels, the last boy, wasn't all that good of a singer. Sure, he may be the youngest competitor, but from what I deduced in my head, Cheryl had probably picked him solely on his looks- blonde hair, bright blue eyes... the girls would be fangasming over this kid.
For the groups, there were John & Edward, two twin boys who were actually quite vile, mean kids. They'd be willing to step on and over anything and anyone to reach their goal- just like they did at Bootcamp during the team challenge. Besides them, there was Miss Frank and Kandy Rain, both all-girl groups who had great voices and great images.
Then there was the Over 25's. Danyl Johnson, who, while he did have a nice voice, kind of flaunted it like he was the greatest thing in the world- his bit of overconfidence could potentially come back to bite him. But Olly Murs, on the other hand, was a wonderful singer with a matching personality. He was sweet and soft-spoken, always smiling and fiddling with his fingers when he got nervous- though he had no need to be.
And then, of course, there was him. The kind, friendly, energetic, supportive, and gorgeous attractive probably guy of my dreams-
WILL YOU SHUT UP.
... There was also Jamie Archer.
After another month and a half of waiting for the moment to come around, all of us had moved into the enormous house we'd be staying at for the course of the next ten weeks, and immediately, we got to work consulting our mentors for the songs they'd help pick for us at the first live performance. Of course, we all had to follow the chosen theme for that week, and we couldn't stray from it. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.
As Danni sat us all down beside her in the room I shared with my two friends- now also competitors- she revealed to us that the first theme for the first week was "Musical Heroes". Basically, it was who we looked up to as a musician, vocal-wise, song-wise, genre-wise, really anything. Luckily, it was a simple decision for all three of us which artist to pick. However, it would ultimately be up to Danni what song she chose for us.
Some time later, she came back in the room with little sheets of paper for all of us, handing one to Stacey and Lucie, then coming over to me.
"This was just a little difficult to consider, since I've never really heard of Coheed and Cambria," she told me, to which I laughed and told her not to worry; not a lot of people have. "But I did manage to find a song that would be perfect for your voice that's upbeat and crowd-pleasing."
I saw the song title and the lyrics and inwardly celebrated. She couldn't have picked a more perfect song for me.

When the night of the actual first live show rolled around, I paced the Green Room, constantly checking myself in the mirrors to make sure my appearance looked absolutely top-notch.
Danni had dressed me in a soft, form-fitting, commander-like navy blue jacket with white trim and silver buttons, ripped jean shorts, and boots that reached just a little ways below the knee. She'd also taken the liberty of neatly brushing my hair to one side, sort of like a makeshift side-mohawk.
Everything looked pretty much perfect, and I felt pretty great, to match.
There was only one little problem.
I was the first act to perform.
WAIT HOLD THE FUCK UP- WHAT.
Still, there was no point in dwelling on it. Someone had to go first, and I guess it was me this time. From where I stood until I went on to perform, I heard Danni introduce me.
"Please allow me to introduce the bravest girl in the competition ever, to kick off the first live show and sing her heart out to you... miss Elise McCready!"
The deafening screams from the crowd almost made me smile, but I drowned them out for now to look at the monitor which showed a few clips of my auditions at Bootcamp and the Judges' Houses before starting up a little pre-filmed interview.
"Being in the final twelve is just... the most incredible feeling. One of the best ever," I'd spoken with a smile. "Normally I'd be back in Camden City finishing up my final years of schooling, but The X Factor is what I ultimately want to do more than anything."
It then transitioned to Danni, who was grinning at the camera. "Elise's the first person to kick off the show tonight, and by god, is she gonna do it in style," she almost bragged about me.
Then there was Cheryl on the screen. "I've heard that Elise has a rather big performance to start everything off..." she pondered aloud. "I just really hope and pray that she pulls it off."
Finally, it went back to me for the last couple statements. "I have to deliver. I have to give it my all and do the absolute best job I can. Danni picked me for a reason... and I don't plan on letting her down."

The lights dimmed. The crowd erupted into screams and cheers.
It was time.

A guitar intro sounded out through the speakers as the stage lit back up and a golden spotlight shined down on me, positioned on a small platform with stairs, holding a microphone stand and looking out of the corner of my eyes, which were casted down to the floor.
"Home... a silence between glares that stutters words misleading here... give me all you've got with one shot sent to let me know, oh... here across the grass, between the glass, I know... that you're not the one I left to wait here helping, I... I left in a sudden rush and never said why you... couldn't know that I had no goodbyes..."
The lights transitioned from white to a golden color, the spotlight disappearing as I abandoned the stand and simply kept the microphone in my hand, walking down the steps to the main floor. The background display changed from black to a dark yellow, with images of dying trees accenting it.
"Oh, but I wish that you were... I'm spying on you, Newo, the way that you would've been if I stayed here at home... I'm giving it up, Newo, how important I could've been to you... Press the steps I take to cross your door-frame if, you decide to answer when my fist waves hello...!"
After that line, the music slowed down and got somewhat softer, the yellow lights and background dimming and turning almost a reddish-pink.
"Casting quarters into wells that hold our dreams... you won't believe me, you wouldn't if I told you so..."
With just a little bit of a piano interlude, the guitar started up once more and little shots of fire exploded up from the front of the stage.
"Oh, but I wish that you were... I'm spying on you, Newo, the way that you would've been if I stayed here at home... I'm giving it up, Newo, how important I could've been to you..."
I'd raised the microphone in the air as the song died out, and my ears were instantly met with screams, cheers, applause, and anything imaginable that was a sign of enjoyment. Everyone in the crowd was up on their feet clapping, and Danni was doing the same, a large smile on her face.
"Elise!" Louis called my name to where I could look at him and hear what he had to say to me. "You had the hardest job tonight, being the first one to perform, but darling, you rocked it." More cheers and applause, while Louis continued, "I've never heard of the band, but I love the song either way- it was incredible. You are a great, great singer, and the look you have tonight just compliments everything about you. Fantastic job."
Cheryl spoke next and basically said the same things as Louis, praising me on the song, the performance, and how brave I was for having to go first and blowing her away.
When Simon added his opinions, the first thing he told me was, "Elise, after that performance, there is not a doubt in my mind that I completely underestimated you."
I nodded, slightly in shock, but took it as a compliment.
"I mean, we really knew nothing about you other than the fact that you were an up-and-coming female rocker," he spoke. "You don't see very many of those, because there's normally not enough girls that are willing to take the risk to try and exude an edgier image. But you, my dear," he pointed to me, "You've taken that risk, and you pull it off extremely well. Fantastic job, fantastic performance. Congratulations."
I smiled ear to ear, thanking him profusely.
Danni matched my enthusiasm, holding a hand out to me as she voiced, "If I were to say everything I wanted to say to you, Elise, it would basically be no different than the gist of what the rest of the judges have already told you," she said, "But I will say this- I am so, so proud of you. Thank you."
I'd put my hands together towards her as a "thank you", then turned to my right as Dermot approached me and brought me into a hug. "Look at you!" he exclaimed, "Miss Rocker Girl, I think we should call you now!" everyone cheered and laughed, along with me. "So how do you feel?"
"Great, absolutely great," I replied. "I couldn't be happier with the comments the judges gave me, nor could I be happier about my performance. When Danni told me what song she picked for me, I was like, 'Yes, I love this song'!" My mentor smiled wide at that. "But yeah, really pleased with the outcome of everything overall. I'm actually kind of glad I went first too, 'cause now everyone's gotta try and top my performance, which might not be easy to do... but we'll see."
The cheering and applause reached my ears once more, and I beamed at the ever-approving crowd of people. "Elise McCready, everyone!" the show's host introduced me one last time, and I blew a kiss and waved to everyone as I walked off, my gleaming smile never once leaving my face.

I sat in the main backstage room for quite some time then, watching the other acts perform on the monitor, but suddenly, my eyes were covered by a pair of hands and everything went black.
"Guess who?" I heard a voice chuckle lightly in my ear.
Of course, I already knew who it was, but I decided to play along. "Uhhm, Joe?" I tried first.
"Nope," the voice answered me. "Guess again."
"...Stacey?" I asked with a chuckle.
The voice laughed. "Oh come now, does she really have a voice like this?"
That caused me to giggle, but I soon placed my hands on theirs. "How about... Jamie?" I pulled his hands away gently and turned around to see the male I'd mentioned smiling at me, his handsome brown eyes twinkling as he'd pulled me in for a hug. I chuckled inwardly at the fact that the jacket he wore was incredibly similar to mine. "How're you feeling?"
"Pretty confident, so I hope it goes well," he answered, "You should come and watch."
I put a finger to my mouth as if pondering the offer, though I already knew what I would say. "Y'know, I should," I told him with a grin and a wink.
He patted my shoulder. "Good, 'cause I think you're gonna like the song I picked."
I was pretty sure that he was going to be right.

Of course, I found out that Jamie had picked a rock song, like I had also done. I stood beside him behind one of the stage entrances, and when it was his time to go on, he turned to me and flashed me a smile. I returned it, but sighed inwardly.
I mumbled something under my breath, to which he looked down at me. "What was that?" he asked curiously.
Biting my lip briefly, I smiled at him with a shrug of my shoulders. "Here," I decided to be brave at that moment, standing on my toes and pressing a light kiss to his cheek. "For good luck."
He'd pulled me back into his arms in response, whispering a "thank you" in my ear. Before he went through he door, he pointed back at me, then turned back around to approach the stage.
I moved out of the way back over by the edge of the backstage area, trying to get as best of a look as I could of my friend's performance, smiling all the while when he started to sing.
"Well you're dirty and sweet, clad in black, don't look back, and I love you... you're dirty and sweet, you're my girl... well you're slim and you're weak, but got the teeth of the hydra upon you... dirty and sweet, you're my girl... get it on, bang a gong, get it on... get it on, bang a gong, I said get it on..."
During the verses, he kept glancing back every now and then at the left stage exit where I was standing- but only during the parts where he sang, "you're my girl".
...Was he singing those parts... for me?
"Well you're built like a car, you've got a hub cap diamond star halo... you're built like a car, you're my girl... Well you're an untamed youth, that's the truth with your life like an eagle... you're dirty and sweet, you're my girl... get it on, bang a gong, get it on... get it on, bang a gong, I said get it on, yeah... get it on, get it on, get it on, and on, and on... get it on, get it on... get it on...!"
The cheers and applause from the crowd couldn't match mine. I was jumping up and down, screaming in delight and cheering his name.
Louis commented on how great his performance was, but suggested that he'd need to be more versatile in order to win, which made the entire audience boo. But when Danni told my friend, "Jamie, go with the 'fro!", I shrieked with laughter and clapped again. And during the rest of the judges' comments, he kept this wide, gleaming, smile on his face.
Honestly, it made him look even more attractive than he already was. And that was saying something.
I met him at the end of the stage after he'd walked off, and right away, he picked me up off the ground in a long embrace. "God, you're incredible," I whispered to him without trying to sound overly mushy. Though, he probably wouldn't have cared either way, as he lightly swayed me in his arms, my face resting on the crook of his neck and shoulder.
I then felt Jamie's lips press to my forehead and allowed him to smile against my hair.
My smile matched his.

I was able to push the anticipation of tomorrow's results out of my head...
...for now.