Dreams Only Last for the Night.

I woke up wrapped in Alex's arm and my head against his chest. "Mmm. Good morning beautiful." Alex said running his fingers through my hair. I smile halfheartedly and then sat up. "What's wrong?" He asked searching my face for an answer. "I'm worried about having to explain all this to Zacky." I confessed. I didn't see any reason to lie to Alex. He sat up and looked down at the sheets. "Well we really haven't done anything." He said quietly. "We kissed Alex, twice." He nodded and we sat silently for a moment. "Do you really love him?" Alex asked slowly looking up at me. I sighed and stared into his dark chocolate eyes. "I don't know Alex. I miss him like crazy, I feel guilty for kissing you, and I really care about him." He grinned and said, "Well I'll give you some space then. I don't want you to compromise anything because of me." "Alex, you do-" "No. It'll be better for both of us." He said cutting me off. I sat in silence as he stood and slid on a pair of skinny jeans and a purple Glamour Kills shirt. "See you downstairs." He said not looking at me as he walked out the door. I let out a groan and fell back against the bed. "Knock, knock." Ryan said opening the door slowly, peeking his head around the door. "You ok?" He asked sitting on the bed. I rolled my eyes up to the ceiling. "I think I just hurt Alex's feelings and it makes me feel really bad." "So you have feelings for Alex now?" "No!" I snapped my head towards him. He gave me a skeptical look. "Ok. Maybe a little. But I love Zacky." I confessed. I laid back on my pillow and stared up at the ceiling again. "Why can't it just be simple? Why can't I just like one or the other?" I thought out loud. "Life's not meant to be simple April." He said and then laid his head on my stomach. I ran my fingers along his scalp, through his black hair as he moved his head side to side. For some reason this act always helped me think. Ryan knew it too, plus he loved getting his head scratched. "I think I'm going to call Zacky tonight." I said finally. Ryan smiled and said, "Head scratching over." He sat up and I gave him a hug. "I need to start getting ready we got a big day today. All Time Low home show."

After taking a shower I met everyone else down stairs. They were all seated around the table with plates filled with eggs, sausage, and cinnamon buns in front of them. "Oh well here is sleeping beauty." Mrs. Gaskarth said spotting me at the bottom of the stairs. "Here you go sweetie." She said and handed me a plate. The only available seat was in between Jack and Alex. 'This should be fun.' I thought to myself as I sat down. "MMUAH!" Jack said as he gave me a sticky kiss on the cheek. "Morning April." He said with a goofy grin. I couldn't help but giggle as I wiped my cheek off with a napkin. "Morning Jackie B." I stole a glance at Alex, who had a crooked grin on his face. I stared down at my eggs. "Eat up April." Mrs. Gaskarth's voice shook me out of my thoughts. I looked around and realized Chance, Stef, and John had already left the table. I started shoveling eggs into my mouth and this earned a chuckle from Alex. "What?" I asked grinning at him. "You are eating like Jack does, very messy." I blushed and took a bite out of my cinnamon bun. By the end of breakfast Alex and I were left at the table alone. My heart beat furiously against the wall of my chest. I wanted to say something to break the awkward silence, but my thoughts were too jumbled to make out a decent sentence. Alex let out a sigh and I turned to find his eyes on me. I rested my head on my hand and looked at him. "What?" I asked finally. "I know I said I was going to give you space, but I can't seem to leave you alone for more than a few minutes." I smiled in spite myself. I gave him a hug, which lasted a moment longer than it should have. I turned my head into the nook of his neck and took in a breath. He kissed the side of my head and left his lips there for a moment. I pulled away and he caught my face in his hands. "Alex." I whispered anxiously. He watched my eyes cautiously as he inched his face towards mine. I sighed right before his lips touched mine. Our lips stayed unmoving. "Oh..um..sorry I didn't..uh." Mrs. Gaskarth said with a giggle as she came into the dining room. I pulled away and looked at the table blushing, avoiding her eyes. "I just needed another cup of coffee." She said with a sideways grin, almost the mirror image of her son's. Alex gave my hand a squeeze as his mom left the room. "Sorry, I know you weren't into the kiss. I can't help myself with you." I forced a smile and headed upstairs to pack my things. Around 2 we all started to load up our things to head to the venue. "Thank you so much Mr. and Mrs. Gaskarth. Being at a home was nice for a change." Stefanie said before walking to the van. The boys did the same. Jack shook Mr. Gaskarth's hand and grabbed Mrs. Gaskarth in a huge hug. "Thanks for the food Mom, I love you!" Mrs. Gaskarth laughed and said "Anytime Jack, I love you too." "Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Gaskarth. For everything." I said. Mrs. Gaskarth pulled me into a hug and said low enough where only I could hear, "Don't worry about earlier dear. I'm just thrilled he's found some one that makes him so happy." I just smiled and walked to the van. "Alex's mom really likes you huh?" Corbin asked when I got in. I just shrugged taking a seat in the back row with him and Ryan. I looked over at Ryan who was smirking. I rolled my eyes and stared out the window watching the scenery go by as we pulled into Baltimore. When we got to the venue there were a few fans already hanging around the stage door waiting for us. Chance parked the van and as we were getting out a group of girls came over with a basket full of goodies for the guys. Each girl got pictures and autographs. Michael walked up and put his arm around me. "I don't think I'm ever going to get use to this." He said with a huge grin. "Me either." I agreed. The All Time Low bus pulled up taking most of the attention off NST. When the group of fans that were hanging around had all their pictures and autographs we went inside to sound check. The energy coming from the crowd was amazing and both bands put on one of the best shows on the tour so far.

After the show I went into ATL's bus to call Zacky. "Hello?" A girl's voice answered. I was taken back for a second. "Hello?" She repeated. "Uh, yeah is Zacky there?" I asked quietly. The girl giggled and then I could hear a struggle for the phone. "Hello?" Zacky's voice came over the phone. "Who was that?" I asked quietly. "Gina. She had my phone." "Ah. So how's everything going." "Hang on a minute." The phone was quiet for a moment. "You there?" He asked. "Yeah." I replied. "Everything's been going great. We are only here for another week then back home for a little break." Zacky said. His voice wasn't the same as I remembered. "Are you alright?" I asked after a moment. "Yeah. Why?" He replied quickly. "You sound different." I said slowly. He let out a long sigh. "I have to confess something." He said. My heart jumped into my throat. "A few nights ago we all got really plastered and Gina and I kinda hooked up." He finished quietly. My whole body went numb. "Did you kinda hook up or did you have sex with her?" My voice asked involuntarily. "We had sex. I'm really sorry April. I never meant for it to happen but I really miss you and I'm pretty lonely here. Mix that with booze and a slutty girl and that's what you get." "Alex kissed me. Three times. The first one he surprised me, the second I kind of kissed him back and the third was nothing." The words came out of my mouth before I knew I was saying them. Zacky laughed. "Well then we're even." "No. Kissing, scratch that, being kissed is totally different from having sex with your ex-girlfriend." I said. "So what does this mean?" Zacky asked. Suddenly Jack, Rian, and Alex bound up the stairs being loud. Rian saw me and yelled, "April what do you want to drink? It's party time!" I smiled and held my hand up. "We'll talk later. Until then don't do anything else stupid ok?" "Alright. I love you." He said. I couldn't bring myself to say it. "Bye." I said quietly and hung up. Alex walked back to the lounge area where I was and stopped in front of me. I looked up at him and shrugged my shoulders. "Everything ok?" He asked. "It will be after a few drinks." I said with a grin. His usual crooked grin spread across his face as he held his hand out to me. I took it and we went to the front of the bus where Rian was mixing a few drinks. "Can I get one of those?" I asked.

After a while the boys of NST, Stefanie, and Zack started to join us. I was well into my fifth drink when Ryan sat down beside me and asked, "How you feeling?" I turned to him and smiled. "Warm and fuzzy." He laughed and patted my leg. A few drinks later I found myself sitting on Jack's lap. He was bouncing me up and down and we were both laughing. "Jack if you don't stop I might barf on you." I giggled. He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me to him. "Aww I love you April, even if you barf on me!" I stood to get another drink. I swayed a bit, and Alex caught me. I turned and wrapped my arms around his waist. "I don't know if it's all the alcohol, or the fact that my boy-whatever-he-is-friend slept with his ex-girlfriend, but you are looking hot." I said then kissed him gently on his neck. He laughed and said, "Well I got dibs on the lounge room tonight, the table turns into a bed." I looked up at him and said, "Let’s go." Alex led the way to the back room. When I was inside he closed and locked the door. He turn back to face me and I crashed my lips and body into him. My hands instinctively flew to his belt. "April. Wait. Let. Me." Alex tried to say between kisses. Finally he pushed me away far enough to say, "Let me make the bed out at least." I nodded and leaned against the wall while he fumbled with the bed. When he was done he turned to me and took off his pants and sat on the bed and motioned for me to come over with his finger. I giggled and said, "This is awful familiar. But backwards I think." I took my shirt off and walked over to the bed and slowly crawled on top of him. I ran my lips slowly up his neck, to his jaw, then to his lips. After a moment he rolled over on top of me not breaking the kiss. He broke away and asked, "Are you sure you want to do this?" I put a hand on his cheek and said, "I've already done it once, what's it matter if we do it again." He grinned my favorite grin and I pulled him to me to kiss him passionately. He undid my pants and slid them off with ease. I pulled his shirt off and kissed down his stomach. Then there was a knock at the door. "WHAT?!" Alex yelled. "Hey man we're heading out and the boys of NST wants to know if their tour manager is joining them?" Zack yelled through the door. Alex looked at me questioningly. "Yeah Alex, I'm just going to walk out there naked and get in the van." He laughed. He got up and walked to the door. "She's asleep already and I don't want to wake her." He lied. Zack shrugged his shoulders and walked away. Alex got back in bed and we started to kiss again when there was another knock on the door. I let out a loud groan and fell back against the bed. "Hey it's Ryan. I need to talk to April." Alex, who was half way off the bed, stopped and looked at me. I grabbed Alex's shirt off the floor and then wrapped the sheet around my bottom half. "Yes?" I asked opening the door. "April I need to talk to you." He said looking me over. "Ok?" "Alone please." He persisted. "Well I can't very well come out there like this." I laughed. Ryan gave me a serious look and rolled my eyes and flipped on lights. "Fine." I turned on my heel and walked over to Alex. "Can we have a moment alone? Can you just go sit out there with the rest of the guys?" "Sure." He said and pulled on his jeans. I caught him by the wrist as he walked past me and pulled him back for a kiss. He grinned and walked out of the room. I sat on the bed. "This better be good Mr. Hegefeld or so help me God I am going to kill you." I said glaring at him. "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean kissing is one thing.....but sleeping with him is going to make it harder for Zacky to forgive you." Ryan said. "Ryan he slept with Gina. He told me today, I told him about Alex and he said, 'So we're even.' EVEN? God he is stupid." I started to raise my voice. "So you are doing this to get back at Zacky? Not because you have feelings for Alex?" Ryan asked. I shrugged my shoulders. "April, Alex cares about you and you should be with him because you care about him too, not out of spite for someone else." I rolled my eyes. "Think about it April. Would you want Zacky to be doing this if the tables were turned?" Tears started to sting my eyes and I shrugged again. "I'm not saying this to hurt you April, I'm really trying to help." I nodded. "So you going to get dressed and ride with us?" He asked. I shook my head and said, "I just rather sleep in this bed than the van. Plus there is a toilet if I get sick." "Good point." He said with a chuckle. Ryan gave me a hug and then walked out of the room. In moments Alex walked in. "Ready?" He said and flipped off the lights I turned on my side as he crawled into bed. "What's wrong?" He asked wrapping his arm around my waist and laying his head on top of mine. "I just don't feel very well. Can we just cuddle?" I asked quietly. "Sure sugar." He said and I turned to face him and he wrapped me up in his arms, making me feel safer than I've felt in a while.