Here We Go Again

When I woke up the next day, I had a huge hangover. I moaned as I rolled over in my bed. My head was pounding. I would have gone right back to sleep if it wasn't for the nauseating feeling in my stomach. I felt like I was going to hurl.

I quickly threw my blanket off me and made it just in time to my bathroom to puke in the toilet. I glanced into the toilet and saw what looked like fries and something else I wasn't entirely sure what of. I groaned before I flushed the toilet.

I pushed myself up before I quickly brushed my teeth of the rancid taste of bile from my mouth. I took my iron supplements along with my anti-depressants before I left my bathroom and made my way to the kitchen. When I got there, the curtains were open. I groaned and quickly shut them, covering the room in darkness. I let my eyes adjust before I walked to the fridge. I groaned again when I realized that the refrigerator light would come on when I opened it. Instead of keeping my eyes open, I kept my eyes shut as I blindly felt around for the carton of orange juice. I finally got it and quickly shut the fridge door. I grabbed a glass from the cupboard and poured myself a glass before I put the carton back in the fridge. I sat down at the kitchen table as I started to drink it. I drank about half of it before I pushed it away and rested my head against the cool tabletop.

I breathed in through my nose and exhaled through my mouth. My head was still hurting. The coldness of the table though did help with the headache. I shot up when I heard the loud screech of a chair. I instantly regretted it and laid my head back down onto the table.

"Sorry," Erin muttered as she sat across from me.

"Juice?" I asked as I pushed the glass towards her without looking up.

"Yes, please," she said as I felt her take the glass.

"Erin?" I asked as I lifted my head up slowly.

"Hm?" she hummed as she downed the rest of my orange juice.

"How much did I drink?"

"Too much, honey, too much."

"How many shots did I take? I lost count after the tenth one," I replied as I squinted my eyes.

"Hell if I know. You're gonna have to ask Hayley or Annabella since they were the only sober ones." I nodded at her absentmindedly.

I furrowed my eyebrows as I tried to remember what happened last night. I remembered drinking a whole bunch and eating a lot of food. And giggling. There was a lot of giggling on my part. The last thing I remembered was talking with Will at the last pub and later talking with him in the car when we were all about to leave. I knew there was something important that we talked about back in the pub, but I couldn't remember. My head would start pounding all over again if I thought about it for too long. I shook my head lightly. I would remember it eventually.

"What's the plan for today then?" I asked Erin and I saw her shrug.

"I don't know. It's too bright and loud outside. Wanna just bum it and watch stuff on Netflix?" she suggested. I shrugged at her.

"Yeah," I replied.

"You should shower," she said. I looked down at myself and I was wearing the same clothes from last night. I noticed something on the front of my shirt and I wasn't entirely sure if that was puke from just a few minutes ago or from a few hours ago at one of the pubs.

"Yeah, this is gross," I muttered as I pushed myself up from my seat.

I dragged myself to my room and into my bathroom. I quickly stripped of my puke covered clothes and took a long hot shower. After I was done showering, I got out and wrapped a big white towel around me. The shower helped with my headache, but there was still a dull pain in the back of my head.

I walked into my room and grabbed some clothes to change into. After I was changed, I pulled my hair into a messy bun. I grabbed my dirty clothes in the bathroom and tossed them into the hamper. As I was putting my clothes in there, I realized I was wearing a jacket last night, but I wasn't wearing it before I got into the shower. I checked my room and it wasn't there. I walked out to the living room and found my jacket on the floor near the door. I guess I took it off right when I got inside. I grabbed it and something dropped from inside the pocket. I picked it up from the floor and it was a small gift-wrapped box. I looked at it in confusion before I finally remembered that Will gave this to me yesterday and that this was probably what was important.

"Are you ready to watch something?" Erin asked me from the couch.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, just give me a minute," I replied before I walked back into my room.

I shut my door and tossed my jacket into the hamper before I checked if there was anything else in the pockets. I sat on my bed and stared at the box in front of me. I held it up to my ear and shook it. There was a slight rattling noise. I brought it back down to my lap before I plucked off the red bow. I set it aside before I carefully undid the gold wrapping paper. On top of the black velvet box was a folded note. I picked it up and unfolded it before I read it.

Nicole, I know that I've put you through a lot and you don't remember a lot of it or me for that matter, but I wanted you to have this.

I had bought this for you before we broke up and it was too late to cancel the order. And even if I could still cancel the order, I wouldn't. You probably hate me, so you can throw this away if you want. I wish that you don't throw it away though. I hope that you like it.

Love, Will.

I stared at the note in surprise. Love? I understood that Will and I dated before, but why would he sign it off with love? He was with Annabella which confused me even more as to why he would sign it off like that. I set the note aside before I looked at the box. There was a logo on top of the box; a silver cursive C. I opened the box and gasped as soon as I saw what it was.

It was a heart shaped pink tourmaline, my birthstone, the size of a nickel and it was held by a silver chain. It was absolutely stunning. And expensive, I bet. It was too much for a birthday present, especially from an ex-boyfriend.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when there was a knock on my bedroom door. "Are you done yet? I wanna watch something already," Erin said from the other side.

"Y-yeah, I'll be right out," I replied. I listened for her retreating steps before I looked back at the box in front of me. I bit my lip before I shut it and put the box into my bedside table. "Out of sight, out of mind," I muttered to myself. I left my room and joined Erin in the living room.



The rest of half-term passed pretty uneventfully. I spent most of my time with Erin or Chris. And if Erin was busy with Marc or Chris was busy with Hayley, I hung out with Travis. We would usually just go to the shops and walk around or go to a cafe near the school for coffee. I was rarely alone and I was glad for that, because when I was alone, I thought about Will and his gift to me. The necklace probably cost so much and I wasn't exactly comfortable wearing it or throwing it out for that matter.

In this week, I had been remembering more and more of Will. And I honestly didn't know what to make of what I remembered. In all my memories, he was either really mean or incredibly sweet. And I'm not sure how I felt about that either of that. In whatever memories I had of him though, I would always get those butterflies in my stomach and a weird tightening feeling in my chest. I didn't know if that tightening feeling was nervousness or pain of some sort, but it was there when I thought of Will. So I kept myself distracted.



Before I knew it, half-term was over along with the weekend, and it was Monday morning. I had gone back to the dorms last night, so I was in my dorm room now.

I took a quick shower and got dressed. While I did my makeup, Travis was getting ready. We finished getting ready at around the same time and we both walked to the school building together. We would have gone to the school building along with Chris, but he got into the habit of leaving earlier than us to pick up Hayley at her dorm building. I thought it was cute that he liked to pick her up and be around her. Seeing them two together made me happy. She had liked him for five years before they got together and now, she was finally with him. If anything, it was kind of inspirational to see them two get together. They were absolutely perfect for each other and they balanced and complimented each other so well.

Anyway, Travis and I parted at our lockers and then I met up with Chris and Hayley in front of her locker.

"Morning," I said with a smile.

"Morning," Hayley replied as she returned the smile.

"Good morning!" Chris exclaimed with a big grin.

"Someone is happy this morning," I noted.

"What's not to be happy about?" He slung his arm over Hayley's shoulder. "I have a wonderful girlfriend by my side," he said as he gave her shoulder a squeeze which earned a blush from Hayley. "and my best mate in front of me." He pulled me into his side with his other arm. "Two beautiful women by my side; why wouldn't I be happy?" Hayley and I couldn't help but laugh.

"What's this I hear about your best mate? You're talking about me, right?" we heard a voice from behind us. Before we could turn around, Will walked around us and stood in front of us

"Will!" Chris exclaimed as he let go of Hayley and I. "How could I forget? I have three beautiful women surrounding me!" he said loudly with a wink as he hugged Will. I watched Will roll his eyes before he pushed Chris off him.

"You wanker," he replied with a glare.

"I'm kidding!" Chris said with a laugh before he wrapped his arm once more over Hayley's shoulder. "How was your half-term?" he asked Will as he shifted the topic. "I haven't seen you since Nicole's birthday."

"It wasn't too bad. I spent some time with my parents and Annabella. Oh, and I saw Scott when he came to visit."

"What? He came to visit? He never even told me he was stopping by," Chris said with a slight pout.

"It was unplanned. He came to see his parents since he missed them. I only saw him, because he was in my area," Will explained.

"Wait," I said as I jumped into the conversation. "Scott?" I asked. "Your friend who lives in California, right? The Scottish guy?" Will looked at me in confusion.

"Uh, yeah. How do you know him?" he asked me.

"You must have remembered him from when I visited you in California before we started school," Chris answered as he scratched his chin in thought.

"No," I said. "Well, yeah, kind of. I drove you to where he lived when you visited, but that's not how I remembered him."

"Then how?" Chris asked.

"By Will," I answered. "Last year, Will got a letter and I asked who it was from, and he said it was from Scott."

"You remember that?" Will asked in shock. I looked up at him and realized that I actually did remember that.

"Yeah," I replied. I was starting to remember more and more of Will. Any day now, I would probably remember him completely.

"Oh," Will said as he looked to the floor. I couldn't tell if that was a good oh or a bad oh. He sounded slightly relieved that I was remembering more things about him, but he also sounded hesitate or scared that I was remembering more of him. Before I could even ask him anything, the bell rang.

"That's the bell," I stated instead. "I'll see you guys all later?" I asked and everyone nodded. I turned away and started walking to my first period class. After walking a few feet, from the corner of my eye, I saw Will fall into step next to me.

"We're heading to the same class," he started. "so do you mind if we walk there together?" he asked. He had a hopeful glint in his eyes and I didn't see any problem with walking to class with him.

"No, I don't mind at all," I replied with a smile. I watched as a relieved smile came over his face.

As we walked, we made small talk. We mostly talked about what we did for our break. I never mentioned the gift he gave me and neither did he, which I was glad for. I wouldn't even know what to say about it. Should I say thanks or should I say it was too much and I couldn't accept it? I didn't even know.

We got to our first period and we sat down at our seats next to each other. We continued talking until class started. As the period went on, I realized that I was starting to talk to Will more and more often now. At first, I thought it was weird since I didn't really remember him, though I did feel a huge connection to him. After a while though, it just became natural to talk to him; to be around him. I felt so at ease with him and that was probably why we got together in the first place. For the life of me though, I still couldn't remember why we broke up, but that we just did. It bugged me to not know why we broke up, but I didn't want to just go out and ask him why. I figured it was too awkward to ask and I didn't want to make anything weirder between us.

When first period ended, Will had asked me if I was going to have lunch with all of them today. I had to think about it. I mean, since school started, I hadn't really had lunch with all of them and only recently had I started up again to have lunch with them. After thinking about it for half a minute, I said I would. It was fun being around all of them and it felt so normal and nice being with them. I left first period with a smile on my face, looking forward to lunch.



When lunch rolled around, I invited Travis to join us. I felt bad that I had started to ditch him recently, so I figured it would be nice if we could just all have lunch with each other. He was hesitant at first, but after practically begging him, he caved.

We walked to the cafeteria together after we stopped by our lockers. When we got there, Chris and Hayley were already seated with food in front of them. Travis and I got in line and started to get our own food.

"You're eating more," Travis stated.

"I am?" I asked him as I grabbed a bread roll.

"Yeah," he replied as he grabbed a piece of fruit. "I'm glad actually. You're eating more and more often, and you're starting to get to your usual eating habits and weight," he said. I furrowed my eyebrows as I thought about what he said. Only when he mentioned it did I realize that he was right. I had been eating more and I was gaining a bit more weight, so I wasn't too skinny anymore and I was getting closer to my usual weight.

"You're right," I said as I got more food on my tray. We got to the cashier and we both paid for our food. After we paid, we headed to the table where Chris and Hayley were at. Will and Annabella were now at the table, while Sara and James were still in line, getting their food.

As I started to eat, I thought more about what Travis said. It was true that was I getting back to my old eating habits and so I started to wonder about the other aspects of my life. I was still on my anti-depressants and it was working, because I was feeling a lot better compared to when I first got on them. Also, my panic attacks had decreased drastically that I couldn't even remember the last time I had one. I was also starting to remember things more and actually retain information better like before my memory problems. And while I still had nightmares, they weren't as frequent. Everything in my life right now seemed to be going well. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that my life got better around the same time that I forgot about Will.

I glanced at him from across the table before I quickly shook my head. Maybe it was just a coincidence. The more I thought it though, the more I started to doubt it was a coincidence in the first place. It made me start to wonder what happened with Will and I, and why we broke up.

Maybe everything tied together with him? Maybe Will and I ended badly and that's why I was having mental and health problems? Maybe my memory loss is caused by him and I was just so stressed that I forgot about him? Maybe the only reason why I was getting better was because I forgot about him?

I shook my head again. Maybe was all I was going on and I couldn't be certain of anything right now. I could only hope to remember what happened. The thing was though, I wasn't sure if I wanted to remember everything. If I was getting better now, it was probably better if I didn't remember.