Here We Go Again

The next day, Will was sort of out of it. He had came back shortly after Chris left yesterday and he was quiet to say the least. We spent most of this morning just spending time together. Though for the whole time, I felt like he wanted to tell me something. I didn't push him about it though.

While I was on my laptop around noon, Will finally spoke up.

"What are you doing?" he asked as he walked towards the kitchen. He grabbed a water bottle from the fridge before he walked towards me and sat down at the foot of my bed.

"Nothing really. Just looking through some old pictures," I replied. He nodded as he opened his water bottle and drank from it. When he finished his water, he set the empty bottle aside. "Thirsty?" I asked with my eyebrows raised.

"I'm a little nervous, so my mouth is dry," he answered.

"Nervous about what?" He let out an awkward laugh and as I looked at him, he really did seem nervous.

"Can we talk?" he blurted out. Whenever anybody said, it was never good.

"About what?" I asked cautiously.

"About us," he finally said as he exhaled.

"O-kay," I said slowly as I set my laptop aside. "What's there to talk about with us?" Will took a deep breath before he answered me.

"Nicole, you know I love you, right?"

"Yes, of course. And I love you too."

"Then you'll understand why this is gonna be so hard on me. On both of us."

"What are you talking about?" He sighed as he stood up. "What's up with you? Why are you making this conversation out to be like you're breaking up with me or something?" I said with a laugh to try to lighten up the mood. I looked up at him when he didn't laugh with me. Will didn't even bother to try to say anything to deny it. "Are you breaking up with me?" I asked him incredulously. I looked up at him and he avoided eye contact with me. "You are!" I exclaimed as I stood up. "Please tell me this is a bad joke. A really bad one."

"Nicole," he started.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" I asked to no one in particular. I just couldn't believe what was happening right now.

"Nicole," he started again. "It's just-"

"It's just what?" I asked him.

"I need some time apart from you," he finally said.

"Time apart from me? Why? Did I... Did I do something wrong?" I asked. I didn't even notice how quiet and disappointed my voice had gotten.

"No, no, you didn't-" he started.

"Was it because of the sex?" I asked him bluntly. A look of shock crossed his face. "Was I not... good enough?" I asked hesitantly.

"No, it's not-"

"No? I wasn't good enough?" I cut him off.

"No, no! I mean, it's not the sex. The sex was great. It's always great."

"Then what's the problem? What did I do wrong?"

"You did nothing wrong."

"Then what? I must have done something wrong if you're breaking up with me." I paused to let him say something, but he didn't. "So it's just a coincidence that you're breaking up with me right after I gave you everything? After I gave you all of me?"

"Okay, look, I know this is bad timing, but-"

"You think?!"

"Well, I told you we should have waited."

"Oh, so this is my fault now? It's my fault that I wanted to sleep with you? Well, sorry! I didn't know you were going to break up with me two days after I gave you my virginity!" I yelled at him sarcastically.

"No, you don't understand."

"What's not to understand? You have the nerve to do this to me after all we've been through." Will was silent. It seemed he didn't know what to say to that. "You know what, I can't do this right now," I said as I walked past him.

"Wait, we need to talk about this," Will said as he grabbed my arm to face him again.

"No!" I exclaimed as I tried to get out of his grip, but to no avail.

"So what? You're running away from your problems?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna run away from my problems! So what?! It's not like you haven't run away from yours! For who knows how long, you ran away from me!"

"You weren't a problem!" he said as he let go of my arm.

"Yes! Yes, I was! You reminded me countless of times with the way you treated me and acted towards me!" I yelled at him as I threw my hands up in the air.

"That was in the past!"

"Oh, really? Is it?"

"Oh, come off it. Don't be like this."

"I have every right to be like this. You're... You're leaving me," I said as I finally broke down into tears. Will eventually reached out and wrapped his arms around me. At any other given time, I would have been happy to be in the comfort of his arms. At this moment though, I couldn't handle it. It was too much for me. "I'm sorry, Will, but I can't deal with this right now," I said as I gently pushed him away from me. I grabbed my wallet, cellphone, and key card before I left the room.

I thought about calling Chris and telling him what happened, but he was busy with Hayley and I didn't want to dump my problems onto him. And I didn't want to call Erin, because of the roaming charges. Annabella was completely out of the question considering I didn't think she would want to hear about my problems with Will. James and Sara were probably off in their own world, as usual. And I wasn't close enough with Marissa just yet to tell her my personal problems. And then I mentally slapped myself for not having more close friends.

After thinking about how much it would hurt to be in the same building as Will, let alone room, I pulled out my cellphone. I called the airport and booked myself a flight back to California.



I eventually went back to my room after thinking about everything and eating a bit of my pain away. After seeing Will again though, it felt like the food didn't do much good.

"Nicole," Will started, but I didn't even acknowledge him as I walked to my bed. I pulled out my suitcase from under my bed and placed it open on top of my bed. "What are you doing?" he asked as I went through my wardrobe, pulling things out and tossing them into my suitcase. I walked to the bathroom and grabbed my bathroom essentials before I walked back and dumped them into the suitcase as well. "Wait, Nicole, stop," he said as he grabbed my hands to stop me. I looked up at him and he had a look of concern on his face. "What are you doing?" he asked softly.

"I'm packing," I said as I freed my hands from his and continued to pack.

"Why?"

"I'm going back home,"

"Back home? To California?" I nodded. "Why?"

"You know damn well why."

"You don't have to leave."

"Yes, I do. This is too hard for me. You said it yourself."

"When are you coming back?" he asked and I paused.

"I," I started before I continued to pack. "I don't know," I answered. And I really didn't know.

"I'm sorry. I do love you though," he tried to offer as some sort of consolation. I would have scoffed sarcastically if it didn't feel like my chest was twisting painfully in all sorts of ways.

"Yeah, I know," I said finally. I finished packing and zipped up my suitcase. I set it on the ground near my bed before I looked up at Will. "We were good, right? We had fun?" I asked and I couldn't stop the tears from welling up in my eyes. Will's jaw tightened before he nodded.

"Yeah," he answered. I nodded in understanding. I rested my hands on Will's shoulder, pulling him down so I could lean up and place a small kiss on his cheek. I pulled away from him and grabbed my things.

"Bye, Will," I said with a small wave.

"Bye, Nicole," he replied quietly.

As I walked out of the room I shared with Will, my suitcase and purse in one hand and my passport in the other, I realized I should have been mad at Will. I couldn't though. Not now at least. I was in too much pain to be mad at him right now. I could only try to hold it together long enough so I wouldn't break at the seams.





I watched as Nicole walked out of the room with her suitcase trailing behind her. When the door was shut, I closed my eyes and realized what had just happened. I couldn't quite believe it though. I opened my eyes and turned to her wardrobe and opened it. She took a lot of her clothes, but left a fair amount behind. I took that as a sign that she would come back. Then I thought she could always have someone else come fetch the rest of her things so she wouldn't have to ever come back here. And that thought alone, never seeing her again, terrified me.