Falling Out

I slammed Billie Joe’s door. I literally ran up the stairs and down the hall to my first period class. I stopped in front of the door trying to catch my breath before walking in. Mr. Altman stopped talking and looked at me. I was already on the verge of tears.

“Three strikes, Miss Benson,” he said. My stomach fell. I can’t get suspended.

“I have a late slip from my father.” I went to hand him the slip with shaking hands but he didn’t take it.

“Take a seat.”

“Why won’t you take my slip?” I asked kind of desperately.

“We will discuss it after class. Take a seat.” My hand fell to my side. With my head hung low, I did as he said. Donovan gave me a concerned look but didn’t say anything as I sat down. I got my notebook out and tried to follow along with Mr. Altman as well as I could without my book and with all the things in going through my hair. Everything seemed to be falling apart. It can’t get any worse than this.

Soon the bell rang and my brain went into hyper drive. I needed to talk to this teacher who has had it out for me since the first day. I got up quickly; ignoring the looks Donovan, Tyler, Felicia, and the whole fucking class was giving me and went to Mr. Altman’s desk.

“My late slip.” He looked at it before looking at me.

“I’m writing you up,” he stated bluntly. My heart fell, tears were about to stream. What is wrong with him?

“Why? I brought a late slip.” My voice cracked.

“You’ve been late a lot and I’ve let it slide. Not this time.” At that point, anger started to fill me up as it someone was pouring hot lava into my body. I was livid. So livid that I threw the paper in his face.

“Fuck you.” I heard gasps behind me. I didn’t care.

“Don, you better calm your girl down. Wait, you wouldn’t know what your girl going down on you feels like.” I heard Tyler say. I heard commotion and desks move and I turned around.

“You need to shut the fuck up, Tyler.” Donovan was in his face.

“Hey, knock it off,” Mr. Altman said. Yeah, like that is going to help.

“Whoa, calm down, Don.” Tyler said. He leaned in and whispered something which prompted Donovan to punch him in his face. Mr. Altman ran from the other side of the desk to break them up. I brought my hand to my mouth and the tears started to fall.

“Office, now!” As they walked passed me, Donovan didn’t look at me. It made my stomach drop. I had a feeling that Tyler told him about us. What am I going to do? Mr. Altman stopped at the door and looked at me.

“I’m writing you up again for your language. You can’t talk to me like that.” He escorted the boys out. Felicia walked up to me. She looked pissed.

“How dare you!?” She yelled. I looked at her stunned. Where did this come from?

“Wh-what?”

“Don’t act innocent. I heard what Tyler said to Donovan.” By the look on her face, I definitely knew what Tyler had said to Donovan. Why would he do that?!

I decided to play dumb. “What did he say?” Felicia shook her head. She looked like she wanted to slap me.

“Better get checked for STDs, slut.” My heart dropped along with my jaw. Oh, my God. She walked away from me. Those who were still in the classroom stared at me. I looked down and walked out. The tardy bell rang right as I walked into my second period. I sat in my normal desk and my leg started shaking. I needed to talk to Donovan. I really needed to speak to him.

The next couple of classes thankfully flew by. Before I knew it, it was lunch. I walked in the cafeteria and saw Donovan sitting at the lunch table alone. I practically ran over to him. I sat next to him. He didn’t say anything.

“Donovan-”

“Is it true?” He asked. I decided to play dumb again.

“Is what true?” He threw his fork on his tray.

“He said you two fucked, Amber. Is it true?” He looked so hurt. So desperate for it to not be true. I couldn’t tell him it was. I had to lie.

“No, it’s not true. He’s lying because he knew you’d react like that.” Donovan sighed in relief. He hugged me. I felt horrible.

“I knew it wasn’t true. I knew it wasn’t. I’m sorry for thinking that it was.” Tears rolled down my face. He pulled away and kissed me.

“I love you so much.” He kissed me again.

“I love you, too.” And I did. I loved him so much that I hated myself for lying to him. I knew he was going to find out because it seemed like everyone finds out your secrets, especially mine.

“What was your punishment?” He sighed.

“Detention for three weeks. I have never been in trouble so they were ‘lenient’. But since I work three days a week they are willing to work around my work schedule as long as I provide my schedule and serve 15 days. It’s going to suck.”

“Tyler didn’t get anything?” He shook his head and took a bite out of his roll.

“Nope. He was the punchee not the puncher.”

“Amber Benson please come to the principal’s office. Amber Benson to the principal’s office.” The office worker said over the intercom. I sighed. Donovan frowned.

“Good luck.” I kissed him before I got up, grabbed my things, and walked to the principal’s office. When I walked in I saw Billie Joe and Adrienne. They looked confused. This is not good.

“Please, sit,” Mrs. Crain, the principal, said. I sat beside Billie Joe, not wanting to look at him. Instead, I stared down Mrs. Crain. Mrs. Crain was old. She had wrinkles all over her face and her eyes were gray. Her hair was literally white. By the stern look on her face this can’t be good. Great, this will probably be another reason for me to go see that stupid therapist in his eyes. Mrs. Crain cleared her throat.

“Miss Benson, you have been late to various classes eight times this term as well as completely missed five of your classes yesterday. You have used inappropriate language towards Mr. Altman twice. This behavior is not tolerated here at Berkeley High.”

“I held her up this morning, Mrs. Crain. I had written a note for her first period class,” Billie Joe defended. I didn’t look at him.

“Mr. Altman did not receive the no-”

“He wouldn’t take it. I gave it to him but he refused to take it. You can ask the whole class who witnessed it. He’s had it out for me since the first day of class,” I chimed in. Mrs. Crain ignored me.

“She has had ample warning that her behavior will have consequences if she continued on. She is being suspended for the rest of the week and next week.” My heart dropped to the floor. I’ve never been suspended in my entire life.

“I think that’s a little excessive for someone who only has been tardied and cursed a few times, don’t you think?” Adrienne asked. Mrs. Crain shook her head.

“No, Mrs. Armstrong, I do not. She has broken far too many rules for my liking and I think the punishment fits the actions. She doesn’t want to be in school, fine, she won’t for two weeks. You can take Amber home now.” That was it. No more discussion. We got up and walked out of the school. I got into the back of the car and stayed silent the whole way to the house while Billie Joe and Adrienne bickered in the front seats. I zoned out, feeling guiltier and guiltier by the second. When we pulled up to the house took my phone out of my pocket and texted Donovan.

Suspended for two weeks. More than likely grounded and won’t be able to see you. I love you. Right when I hit send my phone disappeared. Billie was facing me and put my phone in his pocket.

“You are grounded. No phone, no car, no computer or TV, no Donovan, no Felicia, and no Chuck. You won’t leave this house for the next two weeks. The only reason you are to leave is when I set up an appointment with a therapist.” I shook my head and felt tears prick. I am not going to see someone who can see right through me and will know what I am doing to myself and take it away.

“I’m not going to a therapist. I refuse.” Billie got out of the car and opened my door. I didn’t look at him.

“You are going to see this therapist even if I have to force you to go.” I looked at Adrienne. She wasn’t looking at me. She was still sitting in the passenger seat and looking out the windshield. She didn’t ask for me to be here. She didn’t ask for any of this. I shook my head.

“Fine. I won’t talk.” I got out the car. Billie was still in my way.

“Please move.” He moved out the way. I ran inside and went into my room.

I hated this place.