Falling Out

I heard something beeping. Incessantly. I opened my eyes and noticed it was the alarm I set on my phone before I fell asleep. I sat up and grabbed my phone, turning it off. Oh, right. The talk is happening tonight. I got out of bed and peeked out my window. It was dark. I sighed before going to my closet and putting on normal clothes. Well, normal as in not pajama or sweat pants. I grabbed the jacket Billie let me wear when he brought me home. It smelled like him. Nice.

Well, that sounded weird.

I walked downstairs and saw Adrienne sitting at the counter with a cup of something hot in between her hands. She was staring off in space. I haven’t really spoken to her since I’ve been back. Maybe niceties like “hey” and “bye” but that’s about it.

She looked like she was deep in thought and I didn’t want to interrupt her. I turned around to leave.

“Amber?” I stopped mid step. I turned around. She was smiling at me. She got up as I sat down, leaving her mug. She went to the stove. She grabbed a mug and put a tea bag in it. She then poured some hot water out of the kettle. She slid the cup to me and sat down.

“What kind is it?”

“Peppermint. It’s really the only kind of tea I drink. That’s okay?” I nodded and watched as the tea change the color of the water. We were silent for a bit. I just watched as the water turned this brownish green and she did the same thing.

“I saw your mom once.” She announced randomly. I turned to her. She was still staring at her tea.

“It was about twelve years ago. About a month after Billie and I got married. I knew what she looked like because Billie had a picture of her in his wallet. We were at a grocery store.” She sighed and took a sip of her tea.

“I think she knew who I was because Ollie announced the wedding after the fact in the newspaper. Plus, she looked so shocked when she saw me.” She took another sip. I stared back at my cup of tea.

“She erased the shock from her face and smiled at me before walking past me. That was the last time I saw her. She was very pretty.” She turned to look at me.

“Amber, I know I can’t replace your mother and I don’t want to. But I want to be here for you. Before everything that’s happened I mainly let Billie decide what’s best for you. My thought process was that you are his daughter and I didn’t have right to discipline or have a hand in raising you. I mean, I noticed you going dark and I yelled at Billie to do something but it was too late. I know if Amanda were here she would want me to protect like you are my own and that’s exactly what I am going to do. From now on, I will treat just like I treat my boys. According to blood, you aren’t mine, but fuck blood. I’m not expecting you to call me mom or anything but I will be a maternal figure towards you. I love you as if you were my own. Okay?” I nodded.

“I’d like that Adrienne.” She smiled and gave me a hug. It was nice to hug her. It felt right. It almost felt like I was hugging my own mother. This is what it feels like to have someone care for you.

I never had anyone to hug me after my mom died. I didn’t have any type of positive, physical contact with someone who was supposed to care and love me. I was like that monkey in that study. Instead of having the nice, warm mother, I had the hard, wire mother who only fed me milk to keep me alive. It was about time I felt this. I deserved it.

Adrienne pulled away.

“So, where are you headed?” I wiped my eyes of the couple of tears that fell.

“Um, to pick Donovan up. We have to talk.” I took a sip of my tea.

“Yikes, that doesn’t sound good.” I ran my hand through my hair.

“Well, I figured we need to get everything out and start clean.”

“Sounds like you’ll be there for a long time, huh?”

“I will stick to my curfew, I promise.” She smiled.

“I know you will.” I got up. I walked over to the sink and poured the rest of the tea out.

“Where’s Billie and the boys?” I asked.

“They are taking a guys weekend. Which basically means Billie took them to some theme park and got a room for them to stay at.” I smiled.

“That sounds nice.”

“Maybe one weekend we can go and get away from those nasty boys,” she suggested with a smile. I chuckled and nodded.

“Sounds awesome. Well, let me go. I’ll see you later.” I waved bye before walking out the house. I got into my car, which was free of dents, and drove.

When I got there I sat in my car and waited outside the pizza place Donovan worked out. Felicia had the car tonight as she was at Tre’s probably making out with him and coming super close to screwing him.

Five minutes after ten Donovan was waving off his coworkers and jogged to my car. He smiled when he got in. My car smelled like pizza which I loved only because the scent came from Donovan.

“Hey,” he greeted happily. He leaned over and kissed my cheek. I smiled. I started driving to his apartment. I parked my car in a random parking spot in the lot and we got out.

“Want to go sit on the ground at the park?” I nodded. He grabbed my hand and we walked to where we sat when he first played his violin for me. I didn’t know how to start this conversation or where to even begin. I knew we had to have this conversation because, well, even though I just got back, I didn’t want this relationship to be based on the façade of happiness. Not that I am not happy with him...we just need to talk about what happen.

“Hey, where’s your head at?” He asked as he grabbed both of my hands. We were sitting with our legs crossed across from each other. I sighed.

“We need to talk about that day...” I glanced at him. He sighed through his nose and took one hand away. He began rubbing his forehead with his free hand.

“Why?”

“Because it happened. Because I cheated on you. I lied to you. I put you through...” I took a deep breath, trying to prevent myself from crying.

“I put you through finding me in Tyler’s house.” He took his other hand away.

“You just came back. Can’t we have a few good days before we have this conversation?” He pleaded.

“I want that but...I can’t have this between us, Donovan. It’s just too much pressure for me. I need you to be there for me 100% when I go back to school or not at all and this conversation will determine that. I need the air to be cleared. I need you to be honest with me before we can move forward.” He sat there for a few minutes. He looked like he was trying to work out something in his head. The longer he stayed silent, the more nervous I got.

Eventually, he broke his silence.

“I’m still pissed off, Amber, I’m not going to lie.” That’s not what I expected to hear. “I’m pissed off that you lied to me from the beginning; that you cheated on me with a disgusting human being. I’m pissed off at myself for not noticing what you were going through; what you were hiding from me and the whole world. I am angry that you put me in that situation. I’m angry that you decided to take your own life and be a coward instead of stepping up and confronting what you have done, what your uncle and aunt did, and whatever else plagued you. Amber, I love you. I was angry with you but I never wanted you to die. I never wanted you to hurt yourself. When I get angry I say stupid things, do stupid things. What I said to you in your bedroom was what I felt at that moment. I knew I would have gotten over it and tried to make things work but you didn’t give me that chance.” He ran a hand through his hair. I wiped my tears away. I asked for this. I deserved him telling me this but hearing it tore me apart.

“I have nightmares of finding you like I did. I can’t get those images out of my mind. It’s hard to blink sometimes because when I do all I see is your body covered in blood, your mouth slightly parted because your muscles in your jaw don’t work anymore because you are dead.” His voice broke. He was crying now. I didn’t know what he was talking about. Dead? I didn’t die. When he noticed my confused look, he cursed.

“Billie didn’t tell you? I played along in the beginning but I thought he would have told you by now.”

“Tell me what?”

“Amber, you died. They managed to bring you back but just barely in time.” I covered my mouth with my hand in shock.

I died.

I had really done it.

I had really killed myself.

That was when I let it out. I let the sob out. I was crying uncontrollably now. I didn’t know if I was angry or sad or even disappointed. If I had died, then how come I didn’t see my mom? How come I didn’t hug her like I was supposed to? Why didn’t I see her? I deserved to see her.

“I’m sorry,” I cried. Donovan untangled his legs and scooter closer to me. He wrapped his arms around and brought me into his chest.

“Amber, I love you. I will never understand what you went through or what you are still going through. I will never understand and that’s okay. What I do understand, though, is that... you were—are—battling so many demons alone and you don’t have to. You don’t have to anymore because I will be here for you. I love you so much and I forgive you.” I pulled away.

“Why? What is it about me that you love so much when they were people out there that hated me so bad that they raped and abused me? That they tried to kill me? That they fed me raw meat just for the hell of it?” He gave me his famous half smile as he pushed some strands of hair out of my face. He placed a hand on my cheek and kissed me softly.

“Because they don’t see what I see. They don’t see a person who is smart, beautiful, and loves strongly. They didn’t see you, Amber. Not like I do, not like Billie does, not like your mother did. You are an amazing person. And I don’t mind spending my life trying to prove to you that you are great and that you are worth saving and that you being alive is the best thing.” I didn’t know what to say. I had so many emotions but the one that stood out before the sadness and self pity was the sparks of happiness that were about to set fire. At least, I think its happiness.

I don’t remember what happiness felt like.

Donovan wrapped his arms around me tightly. My ear rested where his heart was and I could hear it beating fast. I breathed in his scent. Even though he smelt like pizza, it was still nice. I could sit here, in his arms, hearing his heartbeat, and taking in his smell for the rest of my life and I would be content. We found ourselves lying down in the grass. He was facing the sky and my head rested just under his chin. His hand twisted my hair in between his fingers as his other hand rested lazily on top of mine. It was comfortable. It was beautiful. We didn’t talk. We just lied there.

“What time do you have to go back home?” He asked.

“In about an hour.” Donovan sat up really fast.

“Well, looks like we have about thirty minutes of make out time before you have to leave!” He said excitedly. I laughed. He stood up and held out his hand for me. I grabbed it and he helped me up. We walked into his dark apartment. He flicked the light on. Right when he did that, my stomach growled, which made him laugh.

“Hungry?” He asked. I smiled.

“I’m actually starving. I slept all day and didn’t eat at all.”

“Well, let me fix something for my woman!” He said in a country accent. I sat down at the small table and watched as he made me a turkey sandwich. He grabbed some chips from the top of the refrigerator and put it in front of me. He sat down across from me and watched me intently as I took a huge bite out of the sandwich. I gave him a weird look.

“Why are you watching me?”

“I have literally only seen you eat apples the whole time I’ve known you.” I rolled my eyes as I took another bite.

“That’s not true. I ate a lot when I would get high with you and at the bbq in Alabama I ate chicken.” He smiled.

“Oh, yeah.” I smiled. By the time I finished, Felicia walked in soaking wet.

“Dude, it is pouring out there.”

“I didn’t even realize it was raining,” I said as I got up and put my plate in the sink. She did a double take.

“What are you doing here?” She asked as she starting to take her wet clothes off.

“Well, hi to you, too.” She smiled. Right when I peeked out the window, lightening struck and thunder clapped aggressively. I could see little white balls falling to the ground. Hale. Great.

“See, I like this version of you, Amber. You are so spunky. But seriously, what are you doing here? Did you run away from home? Oh my gosh, did Billie find out I took some of his clothes and kicked you out because you are associated with me?” I gave her a weird look.

“You...took some of his clothes?”

“Yes, she did. When you allow the crazy stalker of your famous dad into your home, you should expect her to steal things.” Felicia was in her underwear and bra as she sat down next to her brother. He didn’t seem the least bit phased by it. I guess he was used to it. She liked to walk around in her underwear, I remember her telling me.

“Shut up. It was only, like, two red ties, a striped shirt and possibly, maybe some used eyeliner and a belt.” I put my hand over my mouth to stifle my laughter. She smiled.

“Is it possible for you guys to keep it down?” Jennifer said as she entered the kitchen with a yawn and a red, silk robe on. She wasn’t being rude or anything. She did seemed surprise to see me.

“Oh, hey, Amber. I didn’t know you were over.” Jennifer’s eyes glanced at Felicia.

“Felicia...is there a reason why you are wearing no clothes?” She asked. Felicia looked down at herself.

“I got wet and didn’t want to track water through the apartment.” Jennifer shook her head.

“I have to be home soon. I think I better leave before the storm gets worse.” I said trying to prevent an inevitable conversation that could lead to an argument. Even though Felicia tolerates Jennifer for Lenox’s sake, she can’t stand her. It’s not because of her mom’s recent revelation of being a lesbian, it’s because, well, Jennifer is bossy, according to Felicia. And Felicia and authority don’t mix well.

“Oh, no. We are under a tornado watch. I don’t think it’s best if you drive in this weather.” Right then my phone rang. I looked down and saw it was Adrienne. I answered the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey, you aren’t on the road, are you?”

“No, ma’am, I’m not.” I sat back down. I looked at Donovan. He gave me a small smile like he knew what Adrienne was about to say.

“That’s a relief. You don’t think Lenox would care if you stayed there, do you?” Adrienne asked.

“Um, I can ask Jennifer, she’s in here-”

“Yes, you can stay,” Jennifer said as she sipped the water she just poured herself. I relayed the message to Adrienne and she sighed in relief.

“Okay, good. Well, have a good night sweetie and I’ll text Billie to tell him what’s going on. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight. Adrienne?”

“Yes, honey?”

“I love you.” Donovan smiled real big at that. He grabbed my free hand.

“I love you, too, sweetie.” And she hung up. I closed my phone. Jennifer yawned.

“Looks like I’m staying.” Felicia smiled.

“Awesome, you can sleep in my room tonight. I have lots to talk to you about anyway.” I nodded and smiled but I was kind of bummed. I know this was a big step for me but I kind of wanted to sleep with Donovan tonight. Not have sex with him but just...sleep next to him and have him hold me. But I knew that was out of the question.

“That sounds great. I’ll see you guys in the morning. Goodnight.” Jennifer left. Right when her and Lenox’s bedroom door was shut Felicia rolled her eyes.

“Like you’ll be sleeping with me. Maybe when you get up at three in the morning to sneak into my room before the adults wake up,” Felicia said as rolled her eyes. I gave her a weird look.

“What?” Donovan lifted my hand and kissed it.

“She is basically covered for us. You can stay in my room tonight if you want.” I lightly bit my lip and nodded. Donovan stood up.

“Awesome. I’m going to take a quick shower and wash the pizza stench off of me. You can take one after me, if you want.” I nodded.

“I will.” He leaned down and kissed me before he walked out.

“I’ll be right back.” Felicia said a few moments later. I gave her an odd look before she got up. She came back a few minutes in pajamas. Felicia sat down and instantly began talking.

“Oh, my gosh. Promise you won’t wig out?” I nodded. Oh, boy, this can’t be good.

“Okay, so, you know I promised you I wouldn’t have sex with Tre until I turn 18?”

“You didn’t, Felicia. Please tell me you didn’t.”

“I didn’t, I promise.” I sighed in relief.

“But he did feel me up. Just boobs, over the bra.”

“I guess that’s...not bad...” I didn’t know what the hell to say. She gave me a dreamy look, as if she was remembering the act in front of me.

“Not bad at all. I mean he is...talented.”

“Oh-kay, I don’t want to know any more details.”

“But you aren’t mad, are you? I would hate for you to hate me. It’s something that was hard to stop. When you start having sex you will understand how hard it is to stop. Sometimes, it literally hurts.” I tried to not look so...disgusted or amused. Sometimes, she’s just too much, but in a good way.

“Why are you concerned about me being angry? The only reason why I don’t want you two to be...having sex while you are 17 is because I don’t want him to get in trouble and go to prison. I’m not your mom or boss.” She smiled.

“I understand.” Right then Donovan came out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his lower body. He was still very wet from the shower and his hair clanged to his face. My eyes roamed his body. He wasn’t overly muscular. I mean, he didn’t have a six pack but he had a nice body. It was toned. I looked away, blushing severely.

“Really, Felicia? Give me my bedroom door key so I can get my clothes.” Felicia started laughing hysterically.

“Your face, Amber. Priceless.”

“You are a bully with green hair, you know that?” She just smiled as she handed Donovan his key. He walked into his room.

“I can’t believe you did that,” I said. She smiled.

“Go take a shower. I’ll bring you some clothes.” I got up and went into their small bathroom. I had the strongest feeling that she was going to do something stupid or inappropriate. I took my clothes off. I turned to look at myself in the mirror. I didn’t react. I turned the shower on and got in. Midway through the shower I heard the door open and shut. I safely assumed it was Felicia. After a few more minutes, I got out. I looked at the clothes she set out for me. I sighed. Of course, my gut was right.

I ran the towel through my hair, wanting to soak up as much of the water it could. I looked at the clothes that Felicia handed me. It was a pair of Donovan’s boxers – red and white striped – and a Three Days Grace concert t-shirt. I slipped them on. They were all a little big on me but it was a comfortable big. I gathered my clothes and walked out of the bathroom. Donovan’s room was the furthest away from Lenox’s room, which I was grateful for. I stood in front of Donovan’s room and inhaled deeply. Nerves started to get out of control. It was a moment like this that made me especially wish I had a few of my little white saviors to go down my throat and calm me. I shook my head. I need to not think about that. It’s just Donovan. I quietly opened the door and caught my breath. Donovan was just lying on his bed, only in his boxers. His hand was on his chest and the other was controlling his television remote. His eyes flicked to me when I closed his door. He smiled at me. I sat my clothes on the floor by his closet and slowly walked towards him and his full sized bed. I got in and covered myself with his warm blanket.

I’ve been in his room numerous times. It was the same size as Felicia’s and was set up just like hers. The only difference is that Donovan had different band posters that littered his walls instead of all Green Day like Felicia. He also had his violin standing on the corner. His room was nice.

“You okay?” He asked. I nodded.

“Why do you ask?”

“Because you are like one centimeter from falling off the bed. You know you can get closer to me, right?” He was right. I was so far apart from him that two Felicia’s could fit snuggly in-between us. I gave out a nervous laugh.

“Sorry, just...not used to sharing a bed with someone.” I scooted closer to him. He put his arm around me as he settled on SpongeBob. Him and his SpongeBob. I finally calmed down enough to relax against him. This was nice.

Right when SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs were about to bury the health inspector, the TV shut down. In fact, all electronics that were attached to the wall turned off. The power went out.

“That’s just lovely,” I heard him say. A few seconds later, I felt his lips at the base of my jaw. My heart started beating faster.

“Is this okay?” He whispered. I nodded and brought his lips to mine. We lied down fully as the kiss deepened. He was halfway on top of me when he opened my mouth. My hands were running through his hair, gently scratching his scalp. His hand found its way on my bare skin of my stomach. As the kiss progressed, his hand kept inching its way up until it stopped at the base of my breast. I knew he was touching scars there. I pulled away. His face was still close to mine.

“What’s the matter?” He asked. I avoided eye contact with him.

“I’m just...not ready. I’m sorry.” He kissed the side of my mouth.

“Okay.” His hand slipped out of my shirt and he sat up.

“Are you mad at me?” He turned to face me.

“I don’t want to pressure you to do something you don’t want to do. I’m just...annoyed a little thinking of what you did with Tyler and...” He sighed and looked down.

“It’s dumb for me to feel like this because I know you aren’t ready but I can’t...”

“You can’t get it out of your head.” He sighed.

“I’m sorry.” I shook my head.

“No...don’t apologize.” I’m still hurting him. I know he wants sex. I mean, not to be stereotypical, but he is a guy. He has needs. I have to make myself be ready for him. I sat up and straddled him. I wrapped my legs tightly around him.

“Amber...what are you doing?” I leaned down and kissed him.

“I’m getting over it.” I whispered. My stomach was in knots; my hands were literally shaking when I started to take off my shirt. I was up to my stomach when he grabbed my hand.

“Stop.” He whispered. He pulled my shirt back down.

“It’s okay. It’s my problem, not yours.” Tears filled my eyes. I wrapped my arms around him and he did the same to me.

“Come on, let’s lay down and get some sleep before you have to sneak into Felicia’s room.” He kissed me. I wrapped my arm around him and rested my head on his chest. A few minutes later he was snoring. I couldn’t go to sleep. I was thinking too much.

I don’t know why I wasn’t ready. It’s not like I went to a dark place when he would touch me. Maybe I’m just ashamed and don’t want him to see all of me...

But he pretty much did when he found me. And when I took my shirt off for him the other day. So, really there isn’t an excuse for me to not jump his bones right now. But there is.

I’m not ready.

Before I knew it, it was about that time for me to sneak into Felicia’s room. I quietly got out of bed and tip toed to Felicia’s room. She had the trundle bed pulled out for me with blankets and a pillow. I got under the covers and stared at the glow in the dark stars she had on her ceiling until I fell asleep.

*

I heard laughing. Loud obnoxious laughing. Like Felecia’s laughing. I groaned and turned over. I grabbed my cell and sat that it was 12:30 PM. I sat up and rubbed my head. It felt like I was hungover. I guess I slept too much or maybe it was too little. I didn’t go to bed until the sun came up. Either way, I felt like someone beat me up. I got up. I put a pair of Felicia’s sweatpants over the boxers and then went into Donovan’s room, took off his shirt and put my longsleeve shirt back on. I put his shirt back on over it. As I walked out of the room, I took the rubber band off my wrist and put my hair in a messy bun. I stopped dead when I saw Tre sitting at the table with a cup of coffee in his hand.

“Nice shirt,” he commented. I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Is it safe to assume that no one is here besides us?” I asked as I walked to the coffee pot. I grabbed a cup and poured me a cup.

“Everyone’s at work,” Felicia reassured. I sat down beside her and sipped my coffee.

“Have you seen her room?” I asked Tre. He smiled.

“Yes, I have. And I think it’s sweet.”

“Even the stolen Green Day clothing? Specifically, Billie’s clothing?” Tre looked at Felicia and grabbed her hand.

“I still like you a lot but...please tell me you didn’t steal clothing.” I laughed as Felicia gave me a death stare.

“It was in the beginning. And I just hadn’t gotten around to returning the ties and shirt.” Tre laughed.

“I understand. When we played with U2 I stole a pair of Bono’s sunglasses.”

“See! So you understand why I felt compelled to do it.” He pulled her hand up to his mouth and kissed it.

“I guess so.” I shook my head. That moment made me realize they are meant for each other.

“So, did you and Donovan, you know...” She wiggled her eyebrows at me. I glanced at Tre.

“Really, in front of Tre?”

“Wait, did you two...” He made hand motions. I covered my face, my cheeks flaming up.

“No, we did not have sex. We just...made out if that’s any of your business.”

“Oh, it is. I’ve told you all of my bus-”

“You told her about last night?” Tre sounded upset. Felicia frowned.

“Yes...she’s my best friend. She’s not mad-”

“I get it but...some stuff should be kept between us. What if your mom overheard you?”

“I’m three weeks from turning 18. And we didn’t have sex. So, calm down.” Tre sighed.

“Wait, your’s and Donovan’s birthday is in three weeks?” Felicia nodded.

“Yeah.”

“Crap, I have to find something to give him,” I said. Felicia scoffed.

“-And you of course!” She looked at Tre as he got up. He put his empty coffee cup in the sink and took his keys out of his pocket.

“I think it’s time for me to go,” he said with a small smile. He started towards the door. Felicia got up.

“Tre...” She walked out with him. And I was alone. I was in mid sip when my phone started ringing. It was Felicia.

“Hello?”

“Hey, listen I’m going over to Tre’s house. When you leave can you lock up? It doesn’t matter what time you leave.”

“Yeah, I will. Everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything will be fine. He’s just being a baby.” I heard an insulted ‘hey’ in the background and assumed it was Tre.

“I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Alright.” She said goodbye before hanging up. I sat my phone down and sighed. I looked around the empty apartment. It was weird being here by myself. No one was here to stop me if I decided to do anything. I looked down at my arms, which sparked memories. Memories of me biting my lip, blood bubbling up, breathing relief through my nose.

I shook my head, trying to shake the memory out. I needed a distraction. After I finished my cup of coffee, I cleaned the dishes that were in the sink. I started to feel calm. Once I was done, I sat down on the couch and stared at the TV. It was off. I started to feel restless. I got up, walked into Felicia’s room and looked around her room and noticed it was a mess. And I found myself cleaning. I put the trundle bed back under her day bed. I made her bed and grabbed the dirty clothes that were strewn all over her room. I grabbed the laundry basket that was in the corner of her room. I put the dirty clothes in there and then went into Donovan’s room and grabbed his clothes. I put them in the washer machine and started it. I walked back into Felicia’s room and started cleaning.

Room by room I cleaned. I felt calm as I did. I started scrubbing the kitchen floor when I heard the door open. I looked up and saw Lennox cradling two brown grocery bags and staring at me.

“Why are you cleaning? Are you here by yourself?” She asked. I stood up and took the yellow gloves off.

“Um...I don’t know, I just felt the need to...clean. Not that your apartment was messy or anything. Well, Felicia’s room was a mess. I didn’t go into your room.” Lennox smiled as I rambled.

“Here, let me help.” I grabbed one of the bags. I helped her put the grocery items away.

“Well, thank you for cleaning my apartment. You didn’t have to, by the way.” I smiled at her as I picked up the cleaning supplies.

“It distracts me.” I let slip. She gave me a sympathetic smile, knowing what I meant.

“Where’s Felicia?” Crap. I know she doesn’t want her mom to know who she’s really with. And Donovan is at work.

“Um, Felicia went shopping I think. She took Donovan to work so she could have the car. She left me sleeping.” Lennox sighed as she poured herself some iced tea.

“That girl. I’m sorry that she left you alone.” I grabbed my phone and quickly text Felicia the story I just gave her mom.

“It’s okay. Felicia is just...Felicia.” She laughed. We walked into the living area and sat on the couch. She sighed a big sigh of relief, glad to get off her feet. She was still in her scrubs. She worked as a LPN at a nursing home.

“So, you stayed over last night because of the weather?” I nodded.

“I wasn’t planning to. I just came here to talk to Donovan about...stuff and the weather got too bad and Jennifer insisted I stay-”

“It’s okay, Amber. You can stay here any time you like. I don’t want to come off as...crass, but if you are going to stay here I wish you wouldn’t stay in Donovan’s room.” I frowned.

“I’m sorry.” She smiled.

“It’s okay. I wouldn’t have known if the lights didn’t go out. I got worried so I went to check on the twins but I overheard a part of your conversation with Donovan. I didn’t hear what was said, just muffles.” She reassured after she saw my worried look.

“Oh.”

“Listen, I don’t want to get into whatever is plaguing both of you but there is one thing I am asking, don’t hurt my son. He’s been through so much and he deserves to be happy.” I nodded, understanding but severely confused. Right then the door opened and Felicia walked in with some shopping bags and Donovan trailing behind her. I smiled when I saw him.

“Wow this place looks really, really clean.” Felicia sniffed the air. “And smells clean, too. Did you clean the whole apartment?” Felicia asked. I was about to answer but Lennox cut me off.

“Felicia Dianne, you should never leave your friends in your home by themselves. It’s rude.” She rolled her eyes and sat the bags down.

“She’s fine, Mom. She’s practically my sister anyway. So, this place is practically her home, which means she can be left alone.” Donovan leaned down and kissed my forehead.

“Let me go take a quick shower and wash the pizza smell off of you and I’ll save you from these two.” He whispered. I smiled and he kissed me on the lips this time.

“Hey, Mom.” He said as he was halfway to his room.

“Wow, love you, too, sweetie!” She yelled back jokingly. Felicia sat down beside me. She handed me a small bag. I gave her an odd look.

“What’s this for?” I asked. She smiled.

“It’s your welcome home present.”

“You didn’t have to do that...”

“Just open it.” I opened the bag and pulled out two necklaces. Each necklace had a puzzle piece on it, one saying “best” and the other saying “friends.” I smiled Felicia.

“And because it’s your welcome home present, you get to choose which one you want.” I looked at the necklaces again. I put the necklace that said friends around my neck.

“Yes! I really wanted the one that said ‘best’ because-”

“You are the best, I know.” I cut her off. She laughed and put the necklace on.

“You know me so well.” Felicia got up and grabbed the remainder of her shopping bags. She picked up my phone.

“Dude, you know you have 7 missed calls from your parents.” I got up and grabbed my phone. Felicia went into room as I dialed Adrienne’s number. A couple of rings and she answered.

“Amber?”

“Hey, sorry that I haven’t been answering. Is something wrong?”

“Oh, no. I was just worried because you weren’t home. You know it’s almost 6:00, right?”

“No, I lost track of time. I’ll be home shortly.”

“Okay.” We said bye and we hung up. Donovan came out of his room all clean and walked towards me. He wrapped his arms around me as I wrapped mine around his neck.

“You have to go?” I sighed and nodded.

“I’m keeping this shirt, just so you know.” He put his forehead against mine.

“It looks better on you anyway,” he whispered. I smiled and kissed him. I pulled away and walked into Donovan’s room. I grabbed the bag of my dirty clothes. Donovan leaned against his door frame.

“Thanks for cleaning my room, by the way. You didn’t have to do that.” I put the bag over my shoulder. I turned to look at him.

“He’s been through so much and he deserves to be happy.”

I’ve been so wrapped up in my own baggage that I didn’t take time to wonder about his. What was his mom talking about? I guess that’s a conversation for a later date.

“Where’s your head at?” I heard him ask. I shook my head.

“Just...nowhere. I need to go.” Donovan grabbed my hand and walked me to my car but not before I told Felicia and Lennox bye. He opened my car door for me and I put my stuff in the front seat.

“Do you want me to come over tomorrow?” Donovan asked.

“If you want to. I understand if you want some time to yourself. I mean, we’ve practically seen each other everyday since I’ve been back.”

“Well, that first night you were...for lack of a better word, clingy and didn’t want me to leave.” I put some stray hairs behind my ears.

“I know. I was just...I don’t know. I can’t explain it.”

“I’m going to be seeing you tomorrow because I want to.” He kissed me. I got into my car and drove home. When I parked my car I noticed two other vehicles were there. I knew they were Mike and Tre’s cars. I got out and walked inside. I heard muffled music. I sat my bag down and decided to walk downstairs into the basement. Each step, the music grew louder and louder. Sure enough, there they were, Billie, Mike, and Tre, playing music. It was a song that I’ve never heard before. Billie continued to sing when he saw me. I walked over to the couch and sat down, folding my legs underneath me. And I just listened. When the song ended, I clapped.

“Is that a new song?” Billie nodded.

“Yup, it’s called ‘21 Guns.’ It’s something we might put on the new album.” He strummed his guitar.

“We are taking it slow but it’s coming along. Just dicking around mostly.” He added. I nodded.

“Well, it sounded great.” Billie smiled.

“Thanks.” They began playing another song. I got comfortable and spent the rest of the day listening to this wonderful music.

-
I just want it to be known that I don’t condone relationships between minors and adults. This is fiction. I write stuff in this story that I don’t agree with numerous times but it’s just character development.