I'm an Asshole, Baby.

"You look like shit."

Those were the first words out of Dave Tillman's mouth once he opened his door to see Xavier standing there.

"Hey, watch the language. Asshole." Xavier scolded, pointing to William down below who was hidden behind his leg.

"Oh shit--sorry." Dave apologized covering his mouth.

Xavier steered William past Dave and inside his apartment. Dave shut the door and claimed a seat on the couch beside little Willy. Xavier had already gotten a hold of one of the controllers on Dave's table. Of course Dave wasn't fazed by this behavior, X was here plenty times. This was basically a second home for Xavier.

Just like when they were teenagers, Xavier would run off from his house. Then would make his merry way over to Dave's house and shimmy himself up the tree by Dave's room and climb through the window.

Things like that happened a lot, especially after that day happened. After that day, X was over Dave's house almost 24/7. Lot's of times, Xavier being completely wasted. This was Dave's role though, being Xavier's best friend, he was the helping hand. Dave was the brother Xavier never got, but always needed.

Even if Xavier never admitted it.

"So," Dave began. He grabbed the other controller from the table and settled back into the sofa. "What brings you two to my man cave?"

"I told Willy we'd come over after we got ice-cream." Xavier responded.

"Two scoops." William chimed in. His chubby cheeks turning into a wide grin.

"Whoaaa," Dave exclaimed. "Two scoops. What's the occasion big Will--you gettin' married?"

William gave a laugh as Dave nudged him with his elbow.

"Nooo." William giggled covering his face.

Dave draped an arm behind the sofa, eyeing William. "Are you sure? I think I see a ring on your finger buddy." Dave teased.

"No. Marriage is gross--girls are icky." William grimaced sticking his tongue out.

"The icky ones are the best ones though." Dave grinned. Which earned him a smack upside the head from Xavier.

"Don't teach him that," Xavier said. Xavier now draped his arm over the back of the sofa, eyeing William as well. "Don't marry an icky girl, Willy. Icky girls have cooties like--chlamydia."

"Yeah. You don't want those cooties. Those are the worst," Dave shuddered. "Trust me."

Poor little William though was unaware of what exactly chlamydia cooties were. But now he was sure he didn't want them at all.

"I don't want chlamydia!" William cried aloud. "I only had two scoops!"

Dave and Xavier's reactions to William's outburst differed. A lot. Dave found young Willy's innocent fear to be the funniest thing he had ever heard. Xavier's reaction was more along the lines of he realized he had just scarred his nephew.

"You're not gonna get chlamydia." Xavier told William in a sad attempt to comfort him. Who was completely freaking out beside him. Xavier, unsure of how to 100% convince his 5 year old nephew that he would not get chlamydia, looked to his friend Dave. Dave who still found this whole situation to be a complete riot.

Dave however caught the look on Xavier's face. A look which totally screamed: stop laughing and help me.

"Hey Willy, you know how you won't get chlamydia," Dave blurted out. Both Xavier and Will were looking at Dave now. "You won't get it if you eat your vegetables."

Xavier gave a loud groan as he slapped his hand to his forehead. However, William was wide eyed completely listening to what the older man had to say.

"Yeah," Dave continued on. "Eat all your veggies and you won't get chlamydia."

"You got any carrots?" William asked, eyeing Dave intently.

"Uh," Dave said, looking from William to Xavier then back to William. "There's probably some in the fridge."

Little Willy could've given The Flash a run for his money the way he hopped from the sofa and ran into Dave's half kitchen. Dave blew a sigh of relief and wiped away a fake bead of sweat.

"Whew," Dave said. "What a relief." He grinned at X who was shaking his head.

"Vegetables?" Xavier questioned. "That's the best you could come up with?"

"Hey! I'm not the one who scared him in the first place--you did," Dave retorted, jabbing Xavier in the chest with his finger. "So next time you wanna tell your kid nephew that he's gonna get an STD, keep me out of it."

"Why? When you know so much about em." Xavier retorted, jabbing Dave in his chest.

"Ha-ha--fuck you," Dave said along with giving Xavier the bird. Dave glanced over his shoulder to see William furiously looking in the fridge. "How long did Jas stick you with Will this time?"

Dave of course was entirely aware of the Jasmine situation, as he would call it. He knew all about Jasmine's problems, especially the whole dropping William off at X's apartment time and time again. Dave loved and cared about William as if he were a second uncle. But, William was Xavier's nephew, not his son. Jasmine was the mother and sole guardian, and she needed to act like it.

"I thought she was doing that 12 step plan bullshit." Dave said referring to this church group which held AA meetings. However these AA meetings didn't just pertain to alcoholics, drug users as well were welcomed. Xavier had done a lot of digging and research to find something like this that Jasmine would agree to go to.

"Nope," Xavier responded. "She stopped goin' after like 3 days. She said it "wasn't her style"."

"She's a--," Dave hushed his tone that way William wouldn't overhear him. "She's a drug user. What kind of style could she possibly have?"

Xavier shrugged, his eyes glued to the action currently going on in his match of Call of Duty. "Beats me," He responded. "But Will's been with me for about a day or so."

"You need a break."Dave suggested utterly serious.

"It's only been a day," Responded Xavier. He gave a low groan as his character was shot down. "You make it sound like Willy's a monster or somethin'."

"No. I love Will, and I know you do too," Dave said. "But dude, he's not your son."

"For fuck's sake, Dave," Xavier exclaimed tossing the controller on the floor "This again? I know he's not my kid. But he's my kid sister's, son. I'm not just gonna leave him."

Dave put his hands up in surrender. Dave knew this sort of thing was a touchy subject and was the only thing that got to Xavier. "Hey, hey. We can drop it man," Dave calmly said. "Like I said, I love Will just like you do, man."

Xavier gave a grunt in response. The two fell into a moment of silence until Xavier spoke up.

"Next time you bring that up--I'm breaking your goddamn nose."

"Noted." Dave responded. Knowing good and well X would follow through with that threat.

Another silence enveloped the two friends as they now played the game together.

"But you really do need a break or a night out or something." Dave chimed in.

Snorting, Xavier said. "Didn't we go out like a day ago and the result was a fight?"

"Which was completely your fault from the beginning." Dave added on.

"Details, details," Xavier said dismissively. "Why do you wanna go out so bad?"

"I've kind of got a date tonight," Dave answered, setting his controller down. "A double date."

"Am I supposed to be the second half of this bullshit date?"

"It's not bullshit. She's really pretty and funny and wants to do some group date thing at this club," Dave yammered on. "Help a brother get some."

Xavier couldn't help but to snort and laugh. "You're on your own."

"I fixed your screw-up when you stupidly told your nephew he'd get chlamydia."

"And you're such a good friend for that." Xavier said as he messed up Dave's hair. Dave smacked his hand away.

"C'mon man, you're not even doing anything else tonight," Dave argued. "Just do it."

Xavier paused for a moment before speaking again. "I don't have anyone to watch, Will."

"My folks can do it. They love any kind of kid. They're old and sappy like that."

Xavier set aside his controller and leaned himself back into the sofa--groaning. "I'm not gonna like how tonight ends up."



I was waiting outside with Dawn, wearing a dress that definitely wasn't made for keeping the body warm in cold conditions like tonight. She practically begged on her knees for me to come out with her tonight.

This was no exaggeration either, she literally fell down to her knees and wrapped her arms around my legs and refused to let go until I agreed.

Dawn's excuse was that I needed some serious girl time and needed to get out of the house and party instead of sitting home and grading papers. I'm practically a teacher with all the work I have to do. And I had a lot to go over tonight as well and going over my work were my original plans for tonight. Until a manipulative blonde by the name of Dawn, sucked me into going out to a club with her tonight.

I was practically her slave.

She dictated every thing I did tonight. She did my hair, make-up, and chose my outfit. Which, by the way, was insulting. My style was indeed very cute and casual.

However, according to Dawn my clothes weren't the right kind of slutty I needed to be for tonight. It felt as though she and I had been standing in line for hours. The last two people to go in were a pair of guys.

"These heels were not made for standing." I shamelessly complained aloud to Dawn who was adjusting her cleavage.

"Oh, Sammy," Dawn cooed as if I were a puppy. "Of course they're not. Their sole purpose is to make you look hot. Not make you comfortable."

"I knew beauty was pain," I said resting a hand on Dawn's shoulder for support as I fixed my too high heel. "But this is ridiculous."

"Oh stop it," Dawn responded. She stuck her head out of line. "Besides we're almost at the door."

I groaned aloud as I thought about how long "almost" could be.

"I'm not gonna like how tonight ends up."