Cigarette Daydreams

“Orlando, you are the craziest show we’ve played so far!” Alex shouted into the microphone. I was standing side stage with a large smile on my face. Watching these play their hearts out always made me so happy.

“You are only saying that because this is your girlfriends home state you fuck!” Jack shouted throwing me a wink.

Alex laughed, “Leave me alone you fucker.”

“No, no you are trying to kiss ass.” Jack looked over at me and smiled, “And it’s totally working you asswhipe!”

Alex whipped his head around locking eyes with me, “Erin come out and say hi to your people!” I shook my head no begging the boys to leave me out of this crazy banter.

“Awe she is a little shy, come on Orlando show her some love!” The crowed went crazy and Zack along with the help of some other roadies dragged me out to Alex who was wearing the biggest grin ever. “Hey babe,” He grabbed my butt and pulled me into him welcoming me with a kiss. The audience got even louder if that was possible.

“Hey break it up! We still have a show to play!” Jack shouted pulling us apart.

“You are just jealous,” Alex joked back still keeping his sweaty arm around my waist.

Someone in the crowed yelled out “Jalex” which caused the boys to crack up and left me confused. “NEVER!” Jack shouted back before placing a peck on my check.

“Hey she’s mine.” Alex pouted and I was getting uncomfortable on the stage. I leaned in and gave Alex another peck before turning around to make my way back stage. Alex slapped my ass and I whipped my head around shooting him a dirty look. “Love ya babe!”

I rolled my eyes and the boys dived into their final song for the night “Dear Maria.”

Alex was sweaty and gross when he came off stage but he lacked the usual playful look on his face, it was replaced by something much darker and hypnotizing. He embraced me pushing me up against the closet surface he could. I didn’t mind the sweat but I did mind the twenty pair of eyes that were on us. I softly pushed Alex off of me and his eyes were clouded with lust. I knew there was no stopping him.

“Uh—“ I cleared my throat not liking how shaky it was. “Matt we are heading to the hotel.” Alex picked me up wasting no time. It was the first time I’ve seen Alex so fucking hot and determined.

“Use protection!” Jack shouted after us.

It seemed like the van ride to the hotel down the street took years. Alex kept trying to touch me but I was slapping his hands away left and right. As soon as we were in the hotel elevator it was a different story though. He hosted me up onto the railing and attacked me with kisses. I wanted to devour him until I had my fill. The door dinged letting us know we were on the right floor. We half-hazardly found our room at the end of the hall. As soon as the door was shut and locked the air around us changed. Alex tore off my clothes and just as quickly disregarded his.

“You are the most beautiful woman on earth.”

He slid my hips down to meet his face and then proceeded to attack my sex with his oh-so glorious lips. “Oh god.” I moaned out. He slid in a finger and continued his attack on my clitoris. My hips jerked upward to get more of Alex. I needed more of Alex. He added another finger stretching me out and I winced. The pain was temporary and was almost immediately replaced with pleasure. My hips bucked and a wave of pure existacy crashed over me. “Did I just--?”

Alex licked his lips and crashed his body on top of mine. He gave me a deep kiss letting me taste my own juices. He did just make me cum. I made a move to get on my knees and repay Alex but he stopped me. I shot him a confused look.

“It’s all about you tonight, baby.” I shivered as he leaned me back down on the bed and took in all my body. “I’m so lucky.” He took out the condom and placed it over his length. “Are you sure you are ready.” I nodded my head knowing I’ve never been more sure in my life. I waited twenty-one years for a guy like Alex to come along and make me feel like a princess. I grabbed the sheets when I felt his length enter me. “Relax.” Alex warned and I obeyed. His length continued to fill me up until I felt as if I would explode.

“Are you alright?” Alex noticed my grimacing face and I nodded through the pain.

“Just take it slow.” I knew it was taking all of his strength not to fuck me raw and as much as I wanted him to, I knew the first time had to be sensual. I looked up into his eyes and saw nothing but burning desire. “Mhhm.” My moans caused Alex to quicken his pace involuntarily.

“Fuck—“ He breathed out trying to gain his composer. “You drive me fucking insane.” He placed a sloppy kiss on my neck while finding his rhythm moving in and out of me. The pain started to subside quicker than I expected and I was bringing my hips up to meet his. I could tell I took Alex by surprise, but he bounced back quickly flipping us so I was on top.

“Alex—“

“Let me try this.” I didn’t like the angle Alex had of me but I don’t think that was the first thing on his mind. He grabbed my hips guiding me over his length. I could feel this heat growing in my stomach and Alex took notice to the way I would grind my hips into him trying to create more friction. He took one hand off my hips and onto my clitoris, rubbing long circles.

“Oh fuck,” I came hard crashing into Alex’s body while he again flipped us so he could get his climax. A few more thrust later and Alex came while puling out of me. He took off his condom, wrapped it up and tossed it into the trash next to the bed. He flopped next down to me.

“I love you.”

I turned towards him feeling euphoric, “I love you too.” He pulled my naked body into his and we both fell asleep listening to each other’s heartbeat.



“Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are?”

I giggled, “All the time Alex.” He leaned in and gave me the hundredth kiss for this morning. I saw out of the corner of my eye, Jack roll his eyes.

“We get it, yall finally fucked last night. Can we stop being so fucking gross about it?” Zack, the last person I expected, snapped on us from the front seat of the van. I blushed red and leaned into Alex.

“I can’t help it that I am madly in love with this girl.”

“You can stop being so lovey-dovey.” Jack suggested and Alex scoffed.

“Can the both of you stop, we are here!” I announced as the taxi van pulled into my childhood home. It was a large two-story brick house that looked inviting. I noticed my brother’s truck in the drive way and I smiled. “My brother is home too!” I turned towards Alex with so much excitement. He took my hand and we walked up to the double-doors. I couldn’t even knock before my mom yanked the door open.

“ER-BEAR!” My dad pulled me into and hug and my mom ushered everyone inside. “We missed you so much!” He kissed my check, letting me go of his death grip. He pulled back giving me a once over, “Have you lost more weight?”

I rolled my eyes, “Good to see you too dad.” He gave me another bone crushing hug.

“When are you moving back to Florida?”

I rolled my eyes, “Never.”

“Sush now dear, stop harassing Erin.” My mom playfully slapped my dad. “Now where are your manors Erin? Who are theses people?”

I smiled, “This is Alex my boyfriend.” My mom’s eyes lit up and surprisingly so did my dads. I knew they must have been proud of me for actually holding on to a man. “This is Jack my new best friend,” Jack whipped his head around to look at me surprised that I considered him my friend. “This is Rian and Zack, they both love/hate working out with me.” They both laughed knowing my complaining is a bitch. “Last but not least this is Vinny, sometimes I help him with merch if I’m in a good mood.”

“Are there any other girls on tour other than you?” My dad asked raising his eyebrow at the obvious lack of estrogen in the group.

“Not really,” I emitted sheepishly.

My dad let out a low whistle, “Man I feel for you guys.” The boys busted out laughing and I slammed my fist into my dads arm. “Lets get eating before my daughter tries to hurt me again.” My dad and my mom collectively led us into the formal dinning area that is almost never used. We all took seats around the table that was pilled high with random breakfast food, my mom wasn’t the best cook but seeing the effort she put in made me smile.

“Looks good Momma T.” Jack smiled picking up on the nickname that I gave my mom. She beamed at Jack clearly thankful that someone enjoyed her food.

“Good, now dig in boys! I bet y’all hardly get fed real food!” They didn’t need to be told twice.

“You know we never really do get a real meal,” Rian agreed stacking his plate mile-high with chocolate-chip pancakes.

“Erin can cook.” Alex looked over at me with a small smile on his face.

“Hardly anymore.” I picked at my fruit parfait.

“What a shame, you gave me a running for the best lasagna in all of Orlando.” My mom winked at me and then turns her attention towards Alex. “She could make an Italian woman cry at the sight of her homemade sauce, very delicious.”

I blushed, “Mom!”

“I can cook too,” Alex rubbed circles into my knee giving me a small encouragement.

“Really?”

“Oh yeah!” Zack popped in the conversation, “He cooks for us all the time!”

“You will have to cook for me sometime then.” I smiled at him taking a big bite out of a piece of watermelon.

“Anytime for you.”

Breakfast was wrapped up after a long and draining three hours of eating, showing off my embarrassing photos, and my mom insisting the boys all take real showers. I said my goodbyes to my parents promising to me back soon and to keep in touch on the road. We were back on the tour bus by one and on our way to Atlanta to play a show tonight. It was quite on the bus leaving me wrapped up in my thoughts.

I thought of Alex and I, a subject that is always on my mind recently. I trusted him with all my heart but there was that other part of me that enjoyed teasing myself with the “what if.” I was always concerned what would happen if Alex cheated on me or if he got bored with me. What would I do? How would I handle Kyle by myself? It was hard enough to get physical with Alex, how would I do that with any other guy? I wouldn’t be able to.

Alex was just getting started on his career, I couldn’t let Kyle or I tear him down. I had so much hope for my own career as well, and I wasn’t going to sacrifice that on any guy.

“Hey babe!” I snapped out of my thoughts and my eyes landed on Alex.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“I was wondering what you were doing for thanksgiving?”

I scrunched up my nose, “I didn’t have any plans. Probably heading back to California and jumping in on Allie’s plans like I always do.”

“How would you like to join my family in Baltimore?” I was stunned into silence. He wanted me to spend the holidays with him? Were we moving that fast? Did it matter? Did his parents even like me after last time? Would I finally meet that infamous high school sweetheart that scorned him? “—I mean you don’t have to it was just an offer. A stupid offer actually, I don’t know what I was thinking! Why would you want to see my family again after last time I am just cr—“

“I would love to.” I cut Alex off with a kiss.

“Do you mean that?” He gave me a huge boy grin.

“Yes,” I smiled and gave him another kiss. He attacked my face with kisses.

“Thank you! MY mom will be so happy!”

“I love you.” He looked so surprised that I said it first.

“I love you too.”