Breaking the Habit

-Michelle-
I ended up in a hotel in Los Angeles, until I could find a more permanent place.
I planned on going on some auditions to try and get some work, since I hadn’t worked in several months.
My phone rang like crazy to the point that I just turned it off with intentions of changing my number.
I found comfort and solace in a bottle of wine that turned into two, before passing out on top of the bed in my clothes.
In hindsight I should’ve eaten something before drinking two full bottles of wine, but what was done was done.

In the morning I got up and took a shower, put on clean clothes and got fixed up.
I checked my phone to see 30 missed calls from Chester, 24 from Mike, 48 from Chauntelle and about 200 text messages from all three of them combined.
As soon as I turned my phone on, it rang.
I looked at it to see that it was Chester.
“Hello?” I asked.
“Where the hell have you been? I’ve been calling all night!” He sounded panicked.
“I turned my phone off so I could have some peace and quiet.” I replied, starting the car.
“Where are you?” He asked.
“That’s none of your concern.” I answered.
“Babe please just come home.” He pleaded.
“No, Chester. It’s over. You and I were like fire and gasoline. No good comes from the two of them being together.” I said.
“We can get sober together again. Once we get back on track, we can try to have another baby.” He said.
“Chester, I thought I was clear. I don’t want another baby. I’m not meant to be a mother.” I said.
“You don’t know that. You’re just scared.”
“Why shouldn’t I be scared, Chester? After what happened to Bailee, of course I’m fucking scared. The only way to prevent it from happening again, is to not get pregnant at all. Ever.” I said.
“No, that’s not the only way to prevent it. There are other ways.” He said.
“Like what?” I asked.
“Like having a baby with someone who doesn’t hurt you like I did.” He said slowly.
“So now you’re seeing things my way.” I replied.
“I guess.” he sighed, defeatedly.
“We’re both at fault, but it happened because we’re not good for each other.” I said.
“Michelle, I love you and I want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me.” He said.
“I feel the same way about you, Chester. I still love you more than I’ve ever loved anybody else in the world, but I think that if we stay together, one or both of us is going to end up dead.” I said.
“You’re probably right, unfortunately. But I want to remain friends.” he said.
“Oh absolutely, I still want you in my life, just at a safe distance for everyone.” I said.
“I agree. So, what are we going to do about our marriage?” he asked.
“I guess we get it annuled. Just incompatibility.” I said.
“At least we won’t be bitter exes.”
“I don’t think that could happen no matter what, Chester.” I turned into the parking lot and turned off the car.
“I know. I really don’t want this to end, but I know where you’re coming from now, and I understand.” He said.
“I’m glad that you do, and I wish you every happiness in the world. Once I get a permanent place, I’ll come get the rest of my stuff. Just take the boxes and put them in the garage until then.” I said.
“Well, the garage leaks, and I don’t want them getting wet and ruined, they’re really fine where the are.” he said.
“If they get in the way, you’re more than welcome to move them. I’m in a hotel right now, and it didn’t seem sensible to lug around five boxes of stuff from room to room.” I explained.
“No, I get it. It’s fine, Michelle.” He said.
“It’s so strange isn’t it? We were thoroughly convinced that we were head over heels in love with each other after one drunken night together, we used that night as a foundation for a marriage, for a relationship with someone we barely knew. And now, on the other side of it all, we’ve lost a child, hurt each other, and now we’re getting divorced.” I said.
“Yeah, it wasn’t the best start to a relationship, looking back now, but I don’t think that we’re not in love with each other. At least, I’m in love with you.”
“I’m in love with you too, it’s just that you want to help people and show love and affection, and I don’t care about anyone but myself, and I screw over everyone that tries to help me or show me love and affection, because after everything I’ve been through, I guess I really just don’t trust anyone to let them get close to me. When people start getting close, I start pushing them away. It’s probably going to be a long time before I let myself get close enough to anyone to let them actually love me. And I am very, very sorry that you had to suffer for what my mother and my ex did to me. That wasn’t your fault, but you got involved with me, and you ended up getting hurt.” I said.
“I don’t regret it. I know that things haven’t been ideal for us, but I still enjoyed you being mine while it lasted.” He said.
“I enjoyed it too. Maybe we could grab lunch later and talk more about this. I’m going to a movie audition right now, so I have to go, but I’ll text you later. Tell my sister and Mike that I’m fine and not to worry about me.” I said.
“Not that they’ll believe that, but I’ll give it a try.” He laughed.
“Well, it’s worth a shot.” I shrugged.
He fell silent for a moment, “Michelle?” he asked.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“Now that you and I are...you know, do you think you’re going to get with Mike?” he asked.
“Well, I hadn’t thought about it, really. I wasn’t planning on it, but now that you and I are split up for good, I guess all I can say is, whatever happens, happens. If we do end up together, then we do, but if we don’t, then we don’t. Besides, he’s got Kayla, and she’s having his baby. There’s a pretty good chance that nothing is even going to come of it.” I said.
“Michelle, he admitted that he was in love with you, believe me, when he finds out that we’re getting divorced, he’s going to drop her and swoop in to your rescue.” He said.
“Well, he did rat us out to her because he said he didn’t love her, so I’m not saying he won’t do that, but for all you know, it won’t work out between me and him either. But we’re not together, and there’s nothing currently indicating that we ever will be, so just let it be. If it happens, it happens, remember?” I asked.
“I’d just feel like I lost you to him.”
“You didn’t. If anything, you’ve lost me to me. I chose this because I didn’t want to keep hurting you.” I said.
“He cried after you left, you know.”
“Well, I haven’t spoken to him since I left.” I replied.
“Are you going to call him?” He asked.
“No. I told you to reassure him that I’m okay. I don’t have to talk to him.” I said.
“And I told you, he’s not going to believe me.” He replied.
“Well, he’ll have to. Just put the bottle down, pick yourself up and try and do something productive with this pain. I’ll call you at lunch.” I said.
“How’d you know I had a bottle?” he asked.
“Well, first of all, I was the one who bought all that booze, and two, because I spent last night face down on my hotel bed, completely blitzed off of two bottles of wine to numb the guilt and shame of what I’ve done. And you and I are exactly alike in that way.” I said.
“That’s true. I’ll see you at lunch.” he said.
“See you then, sweetheart. Take care.” I hung up and sighed, fighting tears.

I was walking into the building when I spotted a man standing against the wall, smoking a cigarette, and like a bird dog on a hunt, I redirected my attention and my walk toward him.
“What’s up beauty?” he smiled and I was reminded of a snake.
“Save it, pal. You got what I want?” I asked.
“That depends, doll. What DO you want?” he asked.
For half a second, I rethought what I was doing, but I handed him the money anyway, “Tar.” I replied.
He smiled and produced a small baggie tied in a knot at the top.
“Need rigs too?” he asked.
“Yeah, here.” I gave him more money, and he gave me three needles.
“You don’t seem like a rookie. You falling off the wagon, or just needing clean rigs?” he asked.
“Falling off. It was less of a wagon, and more of a high horse that I didn’t feel like I belonged on.” I stuffed it all in my purse.
“Well, I’m here everyday, and if I’m not, here’s my number to reach me.” he handed me a slip of paper.
“Thanks Teek.” I said, reading the name off the paper.
“Anytime, gorgeous.” he winked at me and I felt disgusting.
I went back to my car and hurriedly found a back alley to park in.
I pulled the hair tie out of my hair and put it on my wrist, as I dumped the powder into the spoon.
As it bubbled, I became very anxious, and almost couldn’t wait to taste it again.
As soon as it hit my bloodstream, I relaxed, sighing in relief.
I took the hair tie and put it back in my hair, before pressing my fingers to the needle hole to stop the bleeding.
I felt human for the first time in ages.
I turned the car on, and went back to my hotel room, where I paired the heroin with a bottle of whiskey, ending up doped up and passed out on the floor.
My phone ringing is what woke me up, and I reached for it, answering without looking first.
“Hello?”
“Hey, how are you doing?” Chester asked.
I debated on telling him the truth, as I sat up looking around for my stuff.
“I-I’m fine.” I stuttered, standing up.
“I’m not.” He sighed.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“Remember how you said when you fuck up, you go big or go home?” he asked.
“Whole hog. I remember. Why?” I asked.
“Because I chose to go big and then go home. I broke, Michelle. I used.” He started to cry.
I looked down at the needle in my hand, and I began to cry too, “I did too. I’ve been using since right after I got off the phone with you earlier.” I said.
“What’s wrong with us?” he asked.
I sniffled, and started dumping the powder into the spoon again, “Each other.” I sighed.
I lit the lighter, and the familiar smell reached my nose, relaxing me a little.
“Do we just let this happen, or do we try and jump ship and get sober again?” he asked.
“I’m not jumping ship. I feel normal for the first time in ages, and there’s no way I’m going back to being empty.” I said.
“I understand that.” he said.
“Still want to get lunch?” I asked, drawing the tar into the syringe.
“If you want to, sure.” he said.
I looked at the clock, “Well, meet me at the IHOP on 24th street in 45 minutes.” I said.
“Okay, you’ve got it.” he said.
I hung up and stuck the needle in my arm, pushing down the plunger, and sighed in relief.

I cleaned myself up, and headed to lunch.
When I walked into the restaurant, I saw Chester in a booth off in the corner, sunglasses on, staring out the window.
I walked over and sat down, “Hey.” I smiled.
His face lit up and he smiled back, “Hi.”
“Feeling okay?” I asked, opening my menu.
“You know the answer to that.” he said, taking his sunglasses off.
“I do.” I replied, eyes scanning the menu.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“I’m better now.” I smiled at him again.
“Good.” he smiled back, and looked down at his menu.
I noticed he still had his wedding ring on his finger, and then I noticed he had mine on a chain around his neck, so I looked back down.
“Good afternoon, I’m Ellen, and I’ll be your waitress today, can I start you off with some drinks?” she asked.
I looked up at the woman, “I’ll have water, thank you.” I said.
“Sure thing, honey, and you?” she looked at Chester.
“Water for me too, thanks.” I said.
“Got it. I’ll be right back.” she smiled.
“So, how’d the audition go?” he asked, looking up at me.
“You know I didn’t go to the audition, Chester.” I replied.
“Yeah, I know.” he shrugged.
“Did you tell my sister and Mike that I was okay?” I asked.
“I told them, but Chauntelle rolled her eyes and said whatever, and Mike said he didn’t believe that, and that he was going to find you himself.”
“So I’ve got that to look forward to.” I mumbled.
“Yeah, probably don’t let him find out about the tar.” he said.
“Either of them. I’ll be so dead.” I rolled my eyes.
“Just be careful. Don’t over do it.” he wanted to hold my hand, I could see him forcing himself not to reach across the table for it.
“I won’t, Chester. I’ve done it many times before, and been fine.”
“Well, so had I, but it only takes one time. One moment of clouded judgement and you’re dead on a gurney.” he said.
“I got this, Chester.” I said.
He started to say something else, but the waitress returned, “Two waters. So, are we ready to order?” she asked.
“I’ll have the endless pancakes, with bacon and two eggs, sunny side up.” I handed her my menu.
“Breakfast sampler, eggs over easy.” Chester said, handing her his.
“I’ll get that right out.” she smiled and walked away again.
I looked at Chester as he looked at me, our eyes meeting and locking.
We stared at each other for a few minutes, before he looked down, “I’m sorry, but I am having the hardest time not kissing you.” he said.
“Likewise.” I replied, looking down.
“There’s no way we couldn’t just do it one last time?” he asked.
I looked up at him, then shrugged, “We could do it in my car after we eat.” I said.
“Sold.” he grinned.

A few minutes later, Ellen brought us our food, and we started eating.
“So,” I wiped my mouth, “Are you going to wear that around your neck forever?” I asked.
He looked down, “No, not forever. Just until the initial sting wears off.” he said.
“Good call,” I took off the necklace on my neck, sliding the pendant off and putting it in my purse, “Give me yours.” I said.
“What?” he asked.
“If you’re going to have my wedding ring around your neck, then I’m going to have yours.” I shrugged.
He took it off and handed it to me, watching as I put it on the chain and fastened it around my neck, “Now we have a little piece of each other to get us through this mess, and once it’s over, we’ll take them off.” I said.
He smiled, “You wanna hear another reason I’m wearing it around my neck?” he asked.
“Go for it.” I returned to stuffing my face with pancakes.
“It’s kind of sappy.” he said.
“I’d expect nothing less from you, go ahead.” I said.
“I wear it on a chain around my neck because it makes me feel like I still have part of you close to my heart, even if you’re not physically mine anymore.” he said.
“That is sappy, but so cute.” I said, smiling.
“And now you have part of me close to your heart.” he shrugged.
“Chester, you’ll always have a part of me. You’ll always have a very, very special place in my heart. It’s just not possible for us to be together anymore.” I said.
“I know.” he replied.

We split the bill, and walked out to my car.
“Here or should we go someplace private?” I asked, unlocking the door.
“Let’s go somewhere private.” He got in the car with me.
We ended up going back to my hotel room, and shooting up together, sharing a bottle of vodka right before we ripped each other’s clothes off and had sex on my bed.
I opened my eyes while he was on top of me, and I looked down, where the ring was resting on my chest next to his.
I pulled him into a kiss, trying to shut out the emotions and feelings.
Afterwards, we lay there together, occasionally making out, before going again, until we both passed out.
When I woke up, I felt nauseous.
I got out of bed and grabbed the spoon off the night stand.
“Chester.” I called.
He opened his eyes and looked over at me, “Hey.”
“Want a hit?” I held up the baggy.
“Will you fuck me again?” he asked.
I smiled, “Duh.”
He smiled too, “Then by all means, let’s.”

We were interrupted by my phone ringing in my purse.
I rolled over and picked it up, while Chester kissed the back of my neck, “Hello?”
“Hey, where are you?” Mike asked.
“Mike. I’m safe and I’m fine. I know Chester told you.” I sighed.
“Well, as you can imagine, I didn’t believe him.” he replied.
“Well, it’s true. I’m safe and sound and doing okay. What’s up?” I asked.
“So, you two are over?” he asked.
I knew where this conversation was going, and tried to ignore Chester’s hand creeping between my legs.
“Yes. We discussed it, and decided it was best for both of us if we’re apart. We’re going to get the marriage annuled and try to move on with our lives.”
“Well, would you like a familiar hand to help you move on?” he asked.
I gave Chester a look, warning him to hold off.
“Mike, are you sure that’s appropriate?” I asked.
“What do you mean?” He asked.
“What about Kayla? And Chester and I just agreed to all of this earlier today, we’ve only been seperated for a day. It’s a bit soon, don’t you think?”
“Well, Kayla left anyway. She said she knew what was going to happen now, and she didn’t want to stand in my way anymore. Said we could be civil for our baby, but that was all. And if I remember correctly, I had sex with you the day after your wedding, being forward is kind of my calling card.” He said.
I looked at Chester, who was shooting up again, “Let me have some time to think about it, okay?” I asked.
“Okay, just call me when you figure it out.” he said.
I hung up, and turned around, “Well, we knew that was coming.” I said.
“You should do it. We’re not together anymore and the relieving thing is, I KNOW that he loves you and will take care of you. You’ll be safe.” he said, handing me the needle.
“Are you sure about that?” I asked.
He kissed me, “Very sure. If anything I want you with someone I know and trust, because I know nothing bad will ever happen to you.” he said.
“I never thought I’d hear those words come out of your mouth.” I said.
“I never thought I’d be saying them, but it’s true.” he shrugged.
I finished and put the needle on the table, “So, I’m gonna do it.” I sighed.
“Good.” He put his arm around me and kissed me.
“You know that after this, we can’t do this anymore.” I replied, surprising myself.
“Yeah, I know. I’m trying to enjoy it while it lasts.” Chester starts kissing down my neck.
“Wow, also never thought I’d be saying THOSE words to YOU.” I said.
“Oh, how the tables have turned.” Chester chuckled.
“If I start dating him, I’ll have to hide my addiction.” I said.
“The tables really HAVE turned, haven’t they?” Chester asked.
“This is like an episode of The Twilight Zone, it’s so weird.” I said.
“Just do a better job than I did, and you’ll be fine.” Chester told me, running his fingers down my arm.
“One last time.” I kissed him hard, pushing him down.

Chester got dressed and we shared one last kiss before he left.
I sat back on the bed and called Mike.
“Hey,” he chimed happily.
“So, I thought about it, and I’d like to give us a try. Really give it a try.” I said.
“Great. Should we go on a date?” he asked.
“Sure. Later tonight?” I asked.
“Yeah, where at?” he asked.
“It’s up to you. Just don’t think that you’re getting any tonight. I’m trying to do things right this time around.” I chuckled.
“I won’t assume anything. I’d like to do this right, and a gentleman always waits for a lady.”
I laughed, “Cute, but I’m no lady.” I said.
“Well, you’re recovering from a lot of heavy shit, so I’ll give you all the time you need.” he said.
“I appreciate that. And it’ll make you feel better to know, that Chester not only knows about this, but he also gave us his blessing.”
“What? Really?” he asked.
“Yeah, he said he’d rather I be with someone he knows and trusts, because he’ll feel better knowing that I’m safe, loved and taken care of.” I said.
“Well, that’s not something I ever thought would happen.” he said.
“Me either, but it did.” I laughed.
“Well I guess this is good.” He said.
“We don’t have to hide and sneak around anymore.” I said.
“That’ll make it much easier.” Mike said.
We both laughed and then fell silent.
“Are you still drinking?” Mike asked.
“Every now and then.” I lied.
“Well at least that’s all you’re doing.” Mike sighed.
“I’m at least trying to be a better person.” I said.
“Well I’m glad you’re really trying.” He told me.
“So we’ll meet up at your place, and go from there.” I said.
“Sounds good. See you about, 9?” He asked.
I looked at the clock, “Nine is good. See you then.” I hung up and took a shower.
When I was doing my make up someone knocked on the door.
Not thinking about the fact that I was wrapped in a towel and nothing else, I opened the door.
“Hey.” Chester said smiling.
“Hey sweetie, what’s up?” I asked.
“Wanted to see you again.” He said.
“Come on, I was just getting dressed, I have a date tonight.” I closed the door behind him.
“You already look beautiful.” He sat down on the bed.
I smiled, “I’m in a towel and my hair is a mess.”
“To me that’s beautiful. He’ll you could show up like that and Mike would still have you.” He said.
“I know,” I smiled at him, “You’re both crazy.” I turned and dropped the towel, picking up my clothes to get dressed.
“So, are you going to sleep with him?” he asked, laying back on the bed, watching me.
“No. I already told him that I’m trying to do things right this time.” I said, putting my underwear on.
“You think that’ll work out?” he asked, licking his lips.
“Well, I can try, at least. If I do end up sleeping with him, then we’ll know, I truly am a fucked up person who’s doomed to be stuck in an endless loop of alcholism, drug addiction and meaningless sex for the rest of her life.” I said.
“God, you’re beautiful.” he smiled, gazing at me.
“Shut up.” I laughed.
“No really, you are.” he said.
“Well, thanks.” I said.
“How are you going to hide those?” he pointed to my arm.
“Make up, of course.” I shrugged.
“Are you going to be able to go the whole night without?” he asked.
I shook my head, “No. I’ve got some in my purse, I’ll just shoot it in a different part of my body, where I can hide it.” I said.
He reached out and touched me, running his fingers down my curves.
“Chester, I don’t have time, and like I said, I’m trying to break the cycle.” I told him.
“I know.” he stands, pressing his lips to my shoulder, hands on my hips.
“So stop seducing me.” I giggled.
“But I want you.” he pulled me against him, and I could feel him against my leg.
“I know you do-”
“And you want me too.” he cut me off.
My breath was shaking, “I know, but we said never again.”
His hand crept up my back, unfastening my bra, “Since when have you ever been able to say that and stick to it.” his breath on my neck sent a shiver down my spine.
“I’m trying to do better, remember?” I asked.
“Well, everyone slips at first.” he whispers, dropping my bra in the floor.
“I’ll be late.” I said.
“He won’t mind. It’s you.” he said.
“Chester,” I breathed.
“Shhhh, baby, let it happen.” he whispered, slipping his hand into my underwear.
He pulled them off, kissing my neck.
Finally, I relaxed and let him kiss me, laying me on the bed.
“You know I can’t resist you.” he whispered.
I helped pull his shirt over his head, “And you can’t resist me. And you'll never be able to.” He whispered.
“Who said I wanted to?” I asked.
He smiled and kissed me, “Don’t play coy, Michelle.”

My phone rang, and I sat up to answer it.
“Hello?” I asked.
“Hey, are you coming?” Mike asked.
“Yeah, Sorry! I fell asleep watching TV, I’m on my way right now.” I told him.
“Okay, see you soon.” He said, hanging up.
I turned and kissed Chester, “I gotta go. But I’ll call you after and tell you how it goes.” I got up and put my dress on, throwing a shawl around my shoulders, re-touching my make up and fixing my hair.
“Have fun. And be safe!” He teased.
“Shut up, Bye!” I called going out the door.

When I got to Mike’s house, he was waiting in the living room with a bouquet of roses, dressed to the nines.
“Hi sweetheart.” He hugged me and kissed my cheek.
“Wow, you went all out.” I took the flowers, smelling them.
“Well, it’s you. There’s no other way to do it.” He smiled.
“You’re so sweet honey.” I hugged him again.
“I’m so sorry I’m late, I was watching a movie and I fell asleep.” I said.
“Oh it’s fine, I didn’t mind waiting up for you.” He shrugged.
I smiled, “Shall we go?” I asked.
He put his arm around me and smiled, “Please.”

He put my flowers in a vase with water, and then we went to his car, his arm around my waist.
He opened the door for me and helped me into the car.
“Who knew you were such a gentleman.” I teased, smiling.
“Oh, always.” He said.

We went to a lovely restaurant.
“I’ll have a glass of Chardonnay.” I told the waiter.
Mike gave me a look.
“Relax, I’m not going to get tanked here. They cut you off before that happens.” I winked at him.
“If you say so.” He shrugged.
“Have you heard from Chester?” He asked.
“I talked to him earlier this afternoon.” I lied.
“How’s he holding up?” He asked.
“He’s struggling as expected, but he’s going to be okay.” I sipped my wine.
“Well I hope so. He’s still my friend, and I don’t want to see him hurt himself.” He said.
My mind went back to earlier, when Chester was on top of me, and I smiled, but said nothing.
“What’s that?” Mike nodded at my neck.
I looked down, “Oh, this. Well Chester and I agreed that until the marriage was annulled and everything was done, we’d wear each other’s rings around our necks to remind us of what we’re doing this for.” I said.
“Oh, well that’s pretty clever.” He said.
“I can take it off, if it bothers you.” I said.
“No, it’s okay Michelle. So he’s got your ring around his neck?” He asked.
“Yes.” I nodded.
“He’s still not entirely okay with this, is he?” He asked.
“Not entirely, no. But he understands why it has to happen, and agrees that it’s for the best.” I said.
“And you’re sure he’s okay with us dating?” He looked up at me.
“Yes, He said he trusts you to take care of me.” I smiled.
“Well, that’s good, and I will.” He smiled.
“I know.”

Several glasses of Chardonnay later, I was feeling a little drunk, and we left the restaurant.
“Let’s go back to your house.” I told him, kissing him as we walked to the car.
“Are you sure? I thought you said you were going to take things slow.” He said.
“Oh to hell with that. We both know we’re going to do it, and we’ve done it before, so we might as well. Besides, you’ve been eyeing me all night long, I know you want it.” I put his hand on my chest, and kissed him again.
“Well, I’m not going to lie, you do look gorgeous in that dress and I have been thinking about it.” He smiled.
“Then let’s do it. We don’t have to hide it anymore.” I whispered.
He put me on the car, and took me back to his house, where we started making our on the couch.
He ran his hand up my back, unzipping my dress, while I unbuckled his belt.
He slipped the dress off, and I slipped my hand into the front of his pants, stroking him gently.
He moaned softly against my mouth, and in one movement, unhooked my bra, letting it fall away.
I helped him out of his pants while he unbuttoned his shirt, kissing me again.
In his boxers, he pinned me underneath him on the couch, slipping my underwear off, as I pulled his off at the same time.
I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him in, “This time, it’s real.” I whispered, kissing him.
He moaned, and immediately began slamming against me, as hard and fast as he could.

When it was over, I fell asleep on the couch with him, wrapped in his shirt.
I got up the next morning and made coffee.l, the aroma waking him from his sleep.
“Good morning, gorgeous.” He kissed me, slipping his arms around me.
“Good morning.” I smiled.
“You made coffee?” He asked.
“I did.” I turned and poured us both a cup.
“I love a woman who makes coffee.” He kissed me again.
“I cook too. Are you hungry?” I asked.
“I could eat. What are you making?” He asked.
“I don’t know. I’ll have to raid your fridge and see what my options are.” I said turning around.
“Well just make me whatever you want.” He shrugged.
My phone rang.
“That’s probably Chaun.” I said going to answer it.
“Hello?” I asked.
“Hey, how’d it go last night?” Chester asked.
“Well..” I started.
He laughed, “You had sex with him, didn’t you?”
“Yes.” I laughed.
“I knew you probably would.” He said.
“And I slept over. I’m just being a bad girl all around.” I joked.
“Ooh, scandalous.” Chester replied with a light chuckle.
“I just got up a few minutes ago. I made coffee and I’m about to cook breakfast. But I’ll call you later when I head home.” I said.
“Okay sounds good. Take care of him.” He said.
“I will. Take care of yourself.” I replied.
“You know I will. Just don’t let him find out about the tar.” He said.
“He saw me completely naked last night and didn’t notice anything, so I think we’re okay. Gotta go.” I said.
I hung up as Mike came in, “Chaun freaking out?” He asked.
“No. She’s just checking on me.”
“Please tell me you left out the part about going on a date and then sleeping with me.” He kissed me again.
“Trust me, I did. She’d go nuclear if she knew.” I laughed.
“So, forget breakfast. We’ll go have breakfast somewhere, but first, I want to take you upstairs.” He smiled.
I kissed him again, “One time, and then I’ve got to go. I’ve got to find a place to live and some work.” I told him, leading him upstairs.

-Chester-
I’d just finished shooting up again when someone knocked on the front door.
“Hang on a second!” I called, washing my hands and cleaning the blood off my arm.
I pulled my hoodie on, and walked to the door.
“Hey.” It was Michelle’s sister.
“Chaun, what brings you by?” I asked.
“Just checking to make sure that you’re doing okay, with everything that’s going on.” She shrugged.
I nodded, “I’m doing fine.” I said.
“Have you heard from my sister? Because I haven’t, and it’s starting to freak me out.” she said.
I chuckled, “I talked to her on the phone this morning. She’s doing okay too. Looking for work over in L.A.” I said.
“Still drinking?” she asked.
“As far as I know, yes.” I shrugged.
She sighed, “So are you two really doing this?” she asked.
“Well, yeah. We agree that it’s better for everyone this way.” I said.
“But you love her.”
“Oh, no doubt. I love Michelle more than anyone else in the world, but it’s just safer for both of us, and better for everyone around us, if we quit while we’re ahead.” I said.
“But she’ll sleep with other people, she’ll fall apart. As crazy as it sounds, this has the most Michelle has had herself together, in EVER, really. She was finally really happy, and normal. I mean sure, she was fucking your best friend and lying about it, but believe me when I say, that’s normal for her, that’s as close to good as you’re going to get. I just don’t understand.” She said.
I sighed, “Chauntelle, sit down.” I motioned to the couch.
“I’ve got to tell you something, and it’s not good. You’re not going to like it, but I don’t want to hide it anymore.” I sat next to her.
“What is it?” She asked.
I took a deep breath and looked at the empty spot in the floor where the table used to be, “Michelle is going to kill me for telling you this, but she didn’t trip and fall on her stomach. She and I were fighting, and I…” I paused, closing my eyes, “I hit her, hard. Hard enough to knock her backwards into the coffee table, breaking it and causing her to go into labor and lose the baby. It was my fault. I feel awful, and I wish more than anything that I could take it back. Maybe she and I would still be together, and we’d still be having our baby.” I sniffled.
“What the hell, Chester? Why did you two lie?” she asked.
“Because of what really happened that night. Because it was so bad, and we knew everyone would be angry at us.” I said.
“Well, I’m upset that you lied, but I don’t see the point in being angry about it now.” She said.
“Once I realized what I’d done, I hated myself, and I expected Michelle to hate me too. Surprisingly, she didn’t, and doesn’t. I just wish she were still here.” I said.
“Where is my sister?” She asked.
I sighed, “Well, if I had to guess, she’s still at Mike’s.” I said.
“Mike’s?? She’s staying with him?” She asked, surprised.
“Well, no. She’s actually staying in hotel in L.A. But they went on a date last night, and she stayed the night there with him. I’m sure she’s still there.” I said.
“Wait a fucking minute. She went on a date and went HOME with him? What happened to Kayla?” she asked.
“The way I hear it, as soon as she knew that Michelle and I weren’t together anymore, she packed up her stuff and left Mike, because quote, “I already know what’s going to happen, and I’m not standing in your way and getting hurt again.”” I said.
“She left him because he knew that he’d go after Michelle.” Chauntelle said.
“And like a dog after his bone, he did.” I said.
“And he got her.” She said.
“Of course he got her. There was never any doubt that he’d get her.” I chuckled, sitting back on the couch.
“But she said she didn’t love him, that she used him.” She tried to navigate her confustion.
“She could love him. I think she wants to. He took care of her and made her feel safe and loved because he loved her. She liked that feeling, and I think she’s looking for that feeling. She’s as safe as she could possibly be, and loved. Which is why I’m okay with it.” I said.
“What’s going to happen when she has a baby? I know she says she doesn’t want one, and no offense, but the way my sister is, it’s going to happen one way or another. How are you going to deal with that happening so close to you?” She asked.
“If it’s meant to happen, it’s going to happen, and nothing you me or even God could do to stop it. You know her just as well as I do if not better, and that means you know how stubborn she is.”
I replied.
“I know that making messes is one of Michelle’s talents. When she was little it was toys, or flour on the kitchen floor, now she’s moved on to drugs, alcohol, cheating and lying, she’s getting more advanced with her turmoil.” she said.
“It’s going to require a lot of love, patience and understanding to love Michelle. Something obviously your mother never had, and something I don’t have, but he does.” I shrugged.
“You can’t sit here and tell me that you’re really okay with this.” She looked down, “You’re wearing her wedding ring as a necklace.” she pointed out.
“I know. And she has mine around her neck.” I said.
She sighed, “I have to support this, don’t I?”
I nodded, “I do, so you should too. Your sister is going to be very happy with him. There’s nothing to worry about.” I smiled.