Breaking the Habit

I stared at him, “What?! Babe we’ve known each other for one day, we can’t do that. When I told him that, I meant in the future. Not tomorrow.”
He smiled, “You are very right babe. I just thought you might be on board with the idea, seeing as how you just exiled yourself from the only family you had.”
“I’m still all for getting out of here. Where are we going anyway?” I asked.
“All over. You’re coming with us on our world tour. It’ll get you away from here for awhile, and keep your mind off of everything.”
“I thought you said you had to go back to work tomorrow.” I asked.
“Yes, I do. But you’re coming with me. We’re finishing up tomorrow and then tomorrow night we’re all staying at Mike’s, and we’ll head to the airport early Thursday morning to head to Europe. I don’t want you anywhere that they can find you. You’ll be safe with me.” He kissed me.
“The further away from here, the better. We’d better go get my stuff while Gabi isn’t there, because I don’t want her pulling the same shit.” I sighed.
“She won’t. Not with me there. Because I’ll go off on her like I did your dad.” he finished putting his stuff in his bag.
“She’ll try. They’re probably planning an ambush. I bet all of them are there, waiting for me to come get my stuff so they can all start in on me.”
“They won’t say a word to you, because I’m walking in first, and anyone that wants you has to get through me first. They’re not hurting you anymore, baby.” He put his bag on the bed, and went to the closet.

I was about to say something, when someone knocked on the door.
I turned to walk down the hall, but he grabbed me, “No, stay here. I’ll get it.”
Of course I didn’t listen, and I quietly followed him, standing next to the staircase when he opened the door.
“Can I help you?” He asked.
“I’m here to talk to Michelle.”
“What’s your business?” he asked, crossing his arms.
“She’s my sister. I want to make sure she’s okay.”
“Chauntelle?” I stepped out from behind Chester.
“Micky, you’re okay!” she hugged me.
“I thought you’d all be mad at me.” I said.
“Well, I won’t lie, Gabi, Angelo and Derek are furious with you, but Chris and I were worried about you. We know how dad is, and we know that you only tend to lash out when he gives you a reason to, so I just came to make sure you weren’t drinking to get back at him.” She hugged me again.
“No, I’m fine. I’m not drinking, I was just finishing dinner.” I said.
“You’re Chester, I presume?” Chauntelle asked.
He glances at me, then nods, “Yes, I am.” he shook her hand.
“Chauntelle, her sister. Derek is in the car, but he didn’t know if you’d want to see him, Michelle.”
“Yeah, let’s go see him. Babe, I’ll be back in a few minutes.” I smiled reassuringly at Chester.

“So, that’s prince charming, huh?” she nudged me playfully.
I smiled, “Yeah. He’s so amazing. So thoughtful, and caring. We don’t know each other very well, but he already feels the need to be protective of me. He loves me, and I love him.” I sighed.
“I for one, think it’s a great thing that you’re dating again. It’s been long enough, and you’re doing better. One night was a hiccup, but obviously, you’re not falling completely off the wagon.” She said.
“No, last night was a bad idea, but I met Chester, so it wasn’t all bad. But he’s a recovering alcoholic too, and last night was a bad night for him too. But we’re going to work together to stay sober, and not let each other slip up. We’re going to help each other.” We stopped on the side walk, and I looked at her.
“He wants to get married one day. He wants to have a family with me. He’s standing there watching me like a hawk, because he’s worried about me, and he doesn’t want to see me get hurt again. He does love me, and I don’t care what Dad, Gabi, Derek and Angelo think. I’m going to be with him, and for the first time in my life, I’m going to be happy. I feel like I deserve that much, anyway.”
She smiled, “You do. You deserve to be treated right, and loved. You deserve to be happy, you’ve spent your life thinking that because mom didn’t love you, that you weren’t worthy of anyone’s love. But you are, and I am so happy that you found someone that loves you. And Chris and I still want to be in your life. We want to be at your wedding, and we want to be there when you have kids, we’re still here for you, you haven’t lost all of your family, you still have us.”
I hugged her, “It’ll be nice to have someone. You, him, and I were always different from the other three and dad. We were a team.”

My brother got out of the car, “We’re still a team, Mickey Mouse.” he hugged me.
“It’s a relief, knowing that I’ve still got some family left that hasn’t shunned me.”
“Never. You’re our baby sister, and someone’s got to look out for you.” Chris mussed my hair.
“Thanks for that.” I laughed, smoothing my hair down.
“Derry, would you like to meet my boyfriend?” I asked.
Chris looked toward the porch, where Chester was watching us intently.
“Only if he’s not going to kick my ass.” he laughed.
I smiled and walked back up to the porch.
“My brother would like to meet you, but you’re intimidating him. He’s harmless, baby. They’re on our side here.”
His face softened, and he kissed me, “Okay. Sorry, I just don’t want anyone hurting my baby again.” he hugged me.
“And they’re grateful to you for protecting me. They want me to be happy, and they want to be in my life to see it happen.”
“Well, if they’re on our side, then they’re alright with me.” his warm smile returned, and relief washed over me.
“Come on up guys, he won’t bite.” I called.
“Just you.” he chuckles, kissing me again.
“Save that for later.” I giggled.

“Hey bro, I’m Chris Kennedy, and you’ve already met Chauntelle. We’re Michelle’s brother and sister, and we come in peace.” Chris shook Chester’s hand.
“Chester Bennington. Michelle’s boyfriend. She told me that you’re on our side, and I’m relieved. She needs someone besides just me, and I’m glad she has you guys.” he said.
“I know that you’ll take care of my sister. That’s all we want, is someone who’s going to be good to her, and take care of her. After what she’s been through in her life, she deserves that happiness.” Chris smiled at me.
“I wouldn’t dream of doing anything else but take care of her. This is my pride and joy. Why anyone would treat her so badly is beyond me, but she’s in good hands, I can promise you both that.” He leans down and kisses me.
“I couldn’t agree more.” I smiled against his lips.
“I asked her to marry me already, but she said no.” Chester tucked my hair behind my ear, eyes locked on mine.
“You did??” Chauntelle asked.
“I did. But she shot me down flat. Hurt a little.” He smiled at me.
“Why did you say no?” Chris asked.
“Because it’s been one day, and though I do love him, I’m not ready to jump into that just yet. The last time I jumped into something like that, it didn’t end well, and I’m just not ready yet.”
“Michelle, he’s not William. I already like him more than I ever liked William, and I just met him. You just said that you two are going to get married and have a family one day, you sounded so sure about it then, what’s the difference? You love him, and you know it, and he loves you and you know it, so what the hell is really stopping you?” Chauntelle asked.
Chester reached up and brushed a stray hair out of my face, his fingertips across my cheek sending chills down my spine, and made my breath catch in my throat.
“Because it’s so soon. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life, but I know that I love him, it’s just so soon.” I breathed.
“Forget about what everyone else will think. You need to do what’s going to make you happy. Marry him, Michelle.” Chris encouraged.
My lips brushed Chesters, and I kissed him, wrapping my arms around his neck.
I broke away and gasped for air, “Yes. Yes, I’ll do it. I’ll marry you.” I kissed him again.
“You will?” he asked, breathlessly.
“Yes. Of course I will.” I hugged him tightly, feeling tears on my face.
“You two have to be there. You got her to change her mind, so you have to be there.” Chester said.
“Wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world.” Chauntelle said smiling.
“Let us know when and where, and we’ll be there.” Chris said.
“You two have some celebrating to do, so we’re going to get out of your hair, but Mickey, we’ll be in touch.” Chris said.
“Actually, I need you two to go with me to Gabi’s to get my stuff. You guys and Chester can be my reinforcements. I didn’t really want to face Gabi alone.”
“Absolutely. Tomorrow morning?” Chauntelle asked.
I looked up at Chester, who nodded, “Perfect. And just to let you know, I’m stealing her away for about ten months, starting Friday.” Chester said.
Chris shrugged, “Just take care of her. She needs to get away from all of this for awhile anyway.”
“We’re going all over the world.” I said.
“Good. And we want you to enjoy yourself. You deserve it.” Chauntelle smiled at me.
“Just don’t say anything to dad or anyone else about all this. The engagement, or anything. He’s not invited anyway, but I don’t want him showing up and making a scene.” I said.
“No way. It’s your news to share, not ours, and we can understand why you don’t want to tell dad. So we aren’t going to do that to you.”
“I think your dad knows he’s not welcome here, babe.” Chester said.
I scoffed, “He doesn’t care. If it has anything to do with me, he’s going to have his nose in our business. Which is another reason why I’m leaving the country for awhile, to get away from dad.” I looked at my siblings.
Chris nods, “Understandable. He can be nosey . And if you’re here, he’ll continue to harass you.” He said.
“I’m changing my phone number, and you two will have it, but nobody else.” I said.
“Not a problem.” Chris winked.
“We’d better go, you guys have to have dinner. But we’ll come by in the morning to go with you to get your stuff.” Chauntelle hugged me.
“Okay, Bye. I love you both.” I hugged Chris.
“We love you too, Mickey Mouse.” He said.

They left, and we went back inside.
“How are you holding up?” Chester checked the food, which was both undercooked and cold, now.
“I’m fine, aside from ruining dinner.” I sighed.
“We’ll order out. You’ll have plenty of time to impress me with your cooking, babe. We’re getting married, remember?” He kissed me.
“I know. I was just hoping to impress you before we got married, so you would go into the marriage knowing that I can cook.”
“I don’t doubt that babe. It’s just been a very eventful day. It’s alright.” He wrapped his arms around me.
“And tomorrow is bound to be just as bad, if not worse.” I sighed.
“No it won’t. You’ve got your support system behind you, and nothing they can say or do is going to stop you from doing what you want to do, and what’s going to make you happy.” He kissed my hair.
“I just know, that wherever I try and make myself happy, they’ll be there waiting to ruin it for me like they always do.”
“There will always be rain clouds on a day you wanted to be sunny. There will always be red lights on the way to a place where you can’t be late, there will always be a red wine stain on your favorite shirt, but it isn’t the bad things that make for a bad day, it’s how you react to the things happening around you. If you choose to see the good, the rain brings flowers, you’ll miss the most boring part of the meeting, the shirt won’t suit the event you wanted to wear it to, you dance in the rain, you listen to your favorite song while you’re waiting for the green lights, you wear a different shirt. And life will go on. It always does.” He pushed my hair out of my face and smiled.
“Where did you hear that?” I asked.
“My mother used to tell us that when we were kids. Anytime we got upset over something trivial, she’d tell us that, and it would make whatever we were upset about not seem so bad anymore. And just like she said, life would go on. It always did.” he shrugged.
“Your mother sounds like she was a wise and very smart woman.” I said.
He nodded, “She was. The smartest person I ever knew. Taught me a lot of life lessons that have carried on into my adult life with me, and a lot of things that have gotten me through the darkest days. I’d never have been the person I am today if not for her. I never got the chance to really repay her for everything she did for us.” I saw the tears on his cheeks, and I hugged him.
“She knows. She knows how grateful you are. She’s proud of all the good things you’ve done, and she knows you didn’t mean all of the bad things. She’s only gone physically. She’s always with you, babe. I’m sorry that I’ll never get to meet her, because I want to personally thank her for making you so strong and smart. For making you the man I needed in my life.”
He smiled slightly, “I can promise you one thing, and that is that my mother would’ve loved you. You two would’ve gotten on like a house on fire. You remind me a lot of her, your sense of humor and your mannerisms. How nurturing, and maternal you are. You’re going to make someone a great mother one day.” he nods, staring down at his feet.
“Well, you can thank my grandmother for that. She was the closest thing I ever had to a mother, and I loved her like she was my mother.” I said.
Unexpectedly, he kissed me, pinning me down on the couch, “I say we do everything our way, to hell with the rule book of how relationships are supposed to go, let’s throw caution to the wind and have a baby. Right now.” he said.
“I’m all for breaking all the rules, but I always said I’d at least be married before I had kids. And we’re already engaged, so let’s just wait. Honestly, I wanted to talk to you about maybe having a long engagement. I cannot wait to marry you, honest. I just don’t want to feel like we’re doing this to spite everyone. I want to get married because we’re in love and we want to do it. Besides, I want to at least kind of stay on track with tradition. Let’s wait a year, and then get married. That way we have time to enjoy each other and our freedom before we settle down and start having kids. Please? For me?”
He smiles and shrugs, “Of course baby. Whatever will make you happy.” he kissed me.
“Are you sure? I mean you were so happy earlier when I agreed to marry you.”
“Of course I was happy, I love you, very much. But baby, I’m not forcing you into anything you’re not ready to do. I want to get married when you’re ready. I’ll wait as long as I have to for you. Because I love you.” he kissed me again.
“And I love you. But we should get some sleep, because the day before leaving for a tour is a busy, hectic day, and being exhausted doesn’t make it any better.”
I smiled, “You’re just trying to trick me into the bedroom so you can seduce me again.”
“What are the odds of that plan working out for me?” he whispered, pressing his hand to my back.
“90/10 in your favor.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him again.

The next morning, the sun shining through the blinds woke me.
I sat up and stretched.
I threw the blanket aside and went into the bathroom.
I washed my face, brushed my teeth and pulled my tangled hair back into a ponytail.

I went back into the bedroom and found my clothes, and getting dressed.
I looked over at Chester, stretched out on the bed snoring quietly.
I found my phone and checked the time.
8:43 am.
I laid on the bed next to him, and gently kissed his chest, neck and face, “Babe, wake up.” I whispered softly.
He shifted and his eyes fluttered open.
“Good morning.” he whispered, kissing me.
“Hi there. You were sleeping so soundly, I almost didn’t want to wake you.” I whispered.
He turned over on his side, propped his head on his elbow and smiled, “I could get used to this.” he said.
“Get used to what?” he asked.
“Waking up next to you, seeing your face first thing, every day.” he kissed me.
“Well, that’s good, because as discussed last night, we’re getting married one day, and until then, and every day after, you’ll wake up and see me every morning.” I replied.
He pulled the blanket back over his bare legs, “I guess I should probably get dressed so we can get everything done.”
I nodded, “Yeah, probably.”
“Waking up naked next to you is pretty great, too.” he chuckled.
“Well, we only have the rest of our lives. And we’ll make every morning count.”
I got up off the bed and opened the blinds, “Come on, love. Get up.”
“Can you not open those until I’m not naked? I’d rather my neighbors not get an eyeful of my ass first thing in the morning.” he groaned.
I pulled the curtains closed, and turned the light on, “Well chop, chop! We’ve got a big day ahead of us, and we want to get started.”
I went into the kitchen and started the coffee pot.
He pulled his sweatpants on, and grabbed a t-shirt.
“Please tell me you started the coffee already.” he said.
“Just did babe. Why don’t you go take a shower, and I’ll try and make us something to eat before we leave.”
He kissed me, “Okay babe. But you don’t have to make me any food.”
“I know I don’t have to. I’m doing it because I want to.” I playfully pushed him away, “You. Shower. Now. You smell like sex.” I teased.
“I mean, we did have sex last night.” He laughed.
“Exactly. And I want a shower too, so get a move on.”
“Just take a shower with me, and we’ll grab breakfast while we’re out.” He shrugs, glancing at the coffee pot.
“Okay, but no funny business, we have too much to do.” I replied, turning off the stove.
“I’ll keep my hands to myself, I swear.” He smiled.
“Okay. Go ahead and I’ll be there in an minute.”

He disappeared into the bedroom, and I poured myself a cup of coffee.
I sipped it and remembered the events of the day before, letting out a deep sigh.
I looked over my shoulder, where I heard the water running.

I set my cup in the sink and grabbed my clothes, opening the bathroom door.
I stripped down and pulled back the curtain.
Chester saw me and smiled, “Hello gorgeous.”
I stepped in the tub, under the water, and closed the curtain.
He kissed me, “I love you.”
“I love you too.” I replied, wrapping my arms around his neck.
“What happened to keeping our hands to ourselves?” He asked.
“I’m hugging you. I said nothing about hugging each other.” I kissed him.
His hands slid down my back, “Hey!” I giggled.
“Just a natural reaction babe.” He whispered.

The warm water seemed to amplify the urge, and soon we found ourselves making out hungrily.
He pinned me against the wall, his hands on my face, mine pressed against his back.
“To hell with this.” I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him into me.
He gasped softly and I bit my lip to contain a moan.
My arms tightened around his shoulders, and my head fell back against the wall.
He kissed my neck, his hands pressed against the wall behind me.
My wet hair was stuck all over my face, and Chester tucked it behind my ears with his fingers and smiled, “You’re beautiful.”
I smiled, “Shut up.”
He pressed his lips to the skin on my neck, his breath sending chills across my skin.
All I wanted was to beg for more, cry out, and scream, but I didn’t want to ruin the moment we were having.
I felt my hands slipping off his back, and instinctively, I sank my fingernails into the skin.
He groaned and pushed me against the wall harder, his teeth sinking into my neck.
I finally moaned out loud, and he smiled, “You did this to yourself.”
I chuckled, and kissed him.
He stepped back, slowly letting me down before instructing me to turn around.
I shook my head, “Turn off the water.”

I dragged him by the hand to the bedroom where I kicked the door closed and pushed him on the bed.
He dragged his fingers through my wet hair, pulling my lips against his roughly, signaling to me that play time was over, and he was ready to get dirty.
I let him conduct my body to do as he pleased, moving over him, quickly taking him inside of me.
I moaned, and he responded by pulling me back into the kiss.
He put his hands on my hips, guiding me into the motion, setting the pace.
I let my head fall back just as he sank his fingers into my legs, moving me faster on top of him.
I felt my body shake, and I knew I was coming.
I opened my mouth to speak, but he spoke first, “I’m coming.” just barely above a whisper.
I was already there, writhing in ecstasy.
Throwing myself down on his chest, I moaned against his lips, and he wrapped his arms around me and held tight, as his orgasm shook both of our bodies.

Before I knew it, he rolled me over, and was going again.
Arms pinned above my head, all I could do was stare into his eyes while he pounded me mercilessly.
There was a fire in his eyes, unlike I’d ever seen before, as he contunued, never breaking eye-contact, not even when I came again, unable to wiggle out of his hold, the look on my face must’ve turned him on, because he came at the same time.

I felt the sweat on my skin, making the sheets stick to my back when I pushed him off of me, and sprung up to kiss him.
We made out vigorously for another few minutes before he bent me over the foot of the bed and had at me again.
This time he grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled hard.
I screamed and pulled forward, pulling my hair more.
He let go, running his hands up my back, where they stopped on my shoulders.
He rubbed them gently, and I felt my body relax, my head dropping into the pillow in front of me.
“Don’t think I’m finished. I’m only just getting started.” he grins.
I raised up and chuckled, “Is that so?” I was teasing him, pushing to see just how far he would go.
He took the bait, naturally, and grabbed my hair again, “You ain’t seen nothing yet.” he growled, smashing against me harder.
I cried out, but smiled, “Give me all you got. I can take it.”
“I know you can, I know what you’re capable of, but it’s time to show you what I’m capable of.” he tightened his grip on my hips, moving furiously.
My legs threatened to give out from under me the third time around, face buried in the pillow.
I had to handfuls of the sheet and my hair, now only damp from sweat, was stuck to my face, neck and shoulders.
But he wasn’t slowing down, he wasn’t done with me yet.
I took a deep breath, and pushed myself back up, moving my hips in a circular motion against him until he was almost there.
That’s when I pulled away from him, pushed him down on the bed and climbed back over top of him, taking back control and pinning his arms over his head, while I stared seductively down at him, slamming my ass against his hips until his entire body tensed up and he pushed against my hands.
I pushed back, tightening my grip on his wrists, kissing him hard, “You’ll only make this harder for you, relax and let me have all of you. I want it.” I breathed.
He groaned and stopped fighting my grasp, his head falling back, eyes closed while he climaxed.
“I’d say you’ve met your sexual match, Chester.” I purred.
“I’d challenge that, but I’m too exhausted right now.” he chuckles, putting his hand on my face.
“I love you.” I giggled, laying my head on his chest.
“I love you too, Michelle.” He panted.

I pulled myself away from him, and got up.
“I need an actual shower now, and I’m sure you do too.” I walked back into the bathroom, and turned the shower back on.
“Yeah, just give me a few minutes to recover. That was...wow.” he sighed.
I shrugged and got into the shower.

I let the hot water wash down my back, my eyes closed.
I licked my lips, and I could still taste him, my mouth curving into a silent smile.
I ran my fingers through my hair under the water, untangling it.
I heard the curtain open, but didn’t look.
Stepping aside, I let him have the water while I shampooed my hair.
“The past several times we’ve been together, it was never like that. How was this time any different?” he asked, not looking back at me.
“I was holding back. There’s a side to me that I keep locked away, because I know that most men couldn’t handle it. You’ve only scratched the surface. It gets better.” I rinsed my hands and stepped in front of him under the water, rinsing my hair.
He opened his eyes and smiled at me, “What have I gotten myself into?”
“You don’t even know yet. We’ll see if you stick around once you get deeper into it.”
He shakes his head, “I get any deeper, and birth control isn’t going to be able to help us.”
I stepped around him, and picked up my conditioner, “We’ll see.” I mused.
He washed and rinsed, before turning to me, “Did you take your pill today?” he asked.
I hadn’t even thought about it really, until he said that, and as soon as realization took over, I dropped the bottle, and felt the color drain from my face.
I looked up at him, “I haven’t since the day before the party. I left it at Gabi’s house on my dresser.”