Corrupt A Wish!

Granted, but then you get too close, start having sex, and everything gets fucked.

I wish I could meet charlieskies.

Granted, but when you meet him it's because you accidently went into the boys bathroom and he's standing there picking his nose. Then when you talk to him he's a total jerk and tells you that he Hates your shirt.

I wish I were at the carnival

Granted, but aliens soon came and started firing at the carnival. Everything blew up and erupted into flames.

I wish it was next weekend already

Granted, it is magically next weekend, but by doing this you ripped a hole in the space time continuum and the world ended.

I wish I was in Thailand.

Granted, but shortly after you arrive you contract a rare disease and send the entire country into a lockdown.

I wish this school year was over.

Granted, but you failed all the classes and have to repeat the grade.

I wish it was raining.

Granted, but the rain soon turns to acid rain, rendering you naked.
I wish that I was Lady GaGa's bitch.

Fail.

Granted, but she shaves your head to use your hair as an elaborate head piece

I wish I was a keyboard.

Granted, but everyone removes the keys.

I wish I was older.

Granted, but you're now so old that you have no control over your bladder.

I wish there was a way out of this...

Granted. There's a magical, virtual door that you can use. But once you get to it, it's glued shut.

I wish I could talk to my neighbor. (He is very cute).

Granted, but then he moves somewhere in Southeast Asia.

I wish I stopped liking this guy.

Granted, but then a week later you find out he's liked you all along and wanted to date you but you already moved onto his best friend, tearing their relationship apart and destroying any chance you ever would have had with him.

I wish I could meet Green Day.

Granted! However, a crackhead came and jacked your pants, so now you're in your Dora the Explorer undies.

I wish I could go to a Phillies game.

Granted but they don't win.

I wish I could meet Ryan Ross.

Granted, but when you go to meet him you get lost in the woods and you starve and die.

I wish he liked me

Granted. He dies in a car crash on the way to pick you up for your first date. You find out through Facebook after you thought he stood you up.

I wish I was married to Patrick Stump.

Granted, but then you leave him when you find Peterick in your bedroom.

I wish I could meet Escape The Fate.

Granted. But they are all drunk and upchuck all over you before staggering away.

I wish I could see a rainbow right about now.