Kill The Ant

The writer has a change of heart and decides to kill the ladybug.
The ant is about to commit suicide.

The publisher and editor decide to save the ant as it fits in better wit their policies and ideas for sequels and movies and merchendise.

The ant is intervened by a kindly psychologist spider and is given a hefty dose of anti-depressants.

The ant becomes an extremist Scientologist and wants to blow up Steven Hawking's house

Stephan Hawking rules out the ant's existence.

The ant goes to see Twilight, and it induces seizures.

Give him a popcorn IV drip and move him to watch A Bug's Life instead.

The ant falls into a bottle of acid.

Turns out to just be the drug acid, the ant emerges, tripping balls.

The ant is actually about to OD now.

The ant gets rushed to the hospital in an ambulance and is saved. Still tripping balls.

The ant has had too much to drink and is driving home, erratic and dangerous.

The ant is thrown out of the car, it belongs to the grasshopper.
The ant is about to be struck by lightning.

The ant strikes the lightening first.

The ant is at a book signing with Tony Blair and things are getting ugly.

Gordon Brown settles things with a speech.
Gordon's speech is killing the ant of boredom.

Nick Clegg turns the ant Lib Dem.
David Cameron reminds Clegg what party wears the trousers in No. 10. Ant gets v. confused, to the point of fainting.

The ant recovers from fainting before any catastrophe befalls him.

The ant is dying of loneliness.

Fellow ants come to the rescue and offer company

Ant is about to die from watching to many reruns.

Lucky the electricity power goes out in time.

The ant is stuck in a spiderweb with the spider creeping towards it.

The spider releases the ant because she loves him and doesn't want to eat him.

The ant runs into the spider's husband and he wants to kill the ant.

Spider's husband realices the ant is to cute to kill therefore lets it go.

Ant is about to fall into a volcanoe with active lava flow.

Luckily, a sudden gust of wind blows it off course/out the way.

Ant is about to be stepped on.

The soles of the shoe isn't entirely flat, therefore he's safe from the gaps.

Ant is dying from boredom.

A friendly walking stick bug comes to save the ant from boredom, and takes it on a long adventure in the Amazonian jungle.

The ant has been ingested by an anteater in said Amazonian jungle.

Anteater poops him out alive, by miracle.

Ant is about to be attacked by a venomous snake.

The snake then sees the anteater that ate the ant before, and decides to get revenge for the ant. Instead of eating the ant, it eats the anteater.

The ant loses the walking stick bug, and can't find any food so it's starving.