Dirty Little Secret [CLOSED]

Zacky rolled out of his bunk when he heard the others starting to move around and talk. He went to check the games room to see if his note was missing. Surely enough, it was gone.

"Hey Zacky," he turned around and noticed Johnny looking at him with a raised eyebrow. "Looking for something?"

"Uh, yeah I thought I left something in here last night but since I can't find it, I'll just go and check my bunk again." he answered before averting his gaze to the floor and exiting the room. As he returned to his bunk, he noticed a piece of paper sticking out again. He looked around before picking it up and climbing back into his bunk to read it.

Sincerely,
S

S? He thought about what the person said about duels he did every night. For a moment, he did think of Brian. His stage name began with an 'S' after all. But then again, Shadows is another 'S' name. But what if it wasn't a stage name?He began thinking more and more. What if they were trying to throw him off? It still could have been any of them. Shadows and Syn are both 'S' names as far as stage names go, but then as far as their real last names it could be anyone but Brian since Sanders, Seward, and Sullivan were all last names starting with 'S'.

Zacky groaned in frustration as he tried to figure it out. It could either be any of them, or it could be between Brian and Matt. Either way, this person was not making things easy for him at all. If he were honest, they were all kind of attractive in their own way but if he didn't figure out who wrote this soon, he may have to come up with a way to make them say who they were. Even if it meant outing himself in the process.

S?
You're not making this easy at all are you? I will find out who you are even if it kills me.

Zacky

@ RachTheBat

Brian chuckled at the latest correspondence, managing to snag the note from the chair before any of the others would find it. he then realised that most of their names started or ended with the letter S and mentally slapped himself, he couldn't have made it any harder if he'd tried. Heading back to his bunk, he prepared to write out another little note before Matt pulled the curtain back and nearly caught him. "What'cha doin? Writing to your fan girls huh?"

Brian rolled his eyes at the lead singer, stuffing the note and the fresh piece of paper behind himself. "No, I was just going to write to McKenna actually, she sent me a letter this morning." Matt seemed happy with that, he strolled off to the front of the bus and, judging by the yelps and pleas being heard, the bulky man was terrorizing the bassist again. Pulling the piece of paper from behind his back, he began to write back.

Zacky,
Why would I want to make it easy? There's no fun in that.

He smirked to himself as he carried on scribbling away.

I realise now that by using the letter S, it may have confused you a little so, think of the S as being a part of a nick name, not an actual name. Here's another hint for you.. I was not a part of the original line up for the band..

S xo

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

Zacky watched as Johnny and Matt wrestled and laughed a little. The thought of the letter still plauged his mind though. If the person didn't tell him who they were soon, he considered about getting everyone together and just coming out and telling them what had been going on. Even if that meant he'd have to come out as bi and risk getting kicked out, he didn't care. This person over the past few days was beginning to frustrate him and he felt like he'd have no choice. At least if he were to be able to speak about the notes, he'd be able to read their expressions as he talked about them.

"You okay there Zack?" Jimmy asked as he sat down putting his arm around his shoulders. Zacky bit his lip a little as he turned his head to look at the drummer, completely missing the fact that Brian was now glaring at them.

"I-I'm fine. Just thinking, that's all." he stuttered a little and tried to act as if everything was fine.

"You've been doing a lot of that lately. Do you need to talk about it?" Jimmy questioned feeling concerned about his green eyed friend. Zacky shook his head and smiled a little.

"Not now Jim, I'll talk to you about it when I'm ready to." he said quietly before moving to stand up and head back to the bunks. He saw yet another note under his pillow and read it. He read the part where they mentioned it was part of a nickname and not a last name. So that at least left Jimmy out of it. But that didn't entirely exclude Johnny either considering people seemed to enjoy calling him "Short Shit" or "Short Stuff". So Johnny was still considered a suspect as far as he was concerned.

Although now with this knowledge of it not being Jimmy, maybe he could get the drummer to help him out a bit. Maybe he wouldn't have to tell everyone about the notes but just tell one person. Jimmy was pretty good at finding things out whether people told him anything or not anyways so maybe he could get his help. A few different ideas ran through his mind as he smirked to himself and wrote a short response.

Well S,

That may have narrowed things down a bit more, but I still don't know who you are. It doesn't matter though, I will figure it out eventually. You just wait and see.

Z

@ RachTheBat

Brian looked on with narrowed eyes, anger seeping into his veins at the way Jimmy had his arm around his Zack. He wanted to do that, more than anything, to touch him whenever he liked. He looked away as he felt the green eyed monster in him start to take over, brushing past the others as he muttered something about needing to smoke. He stopped by his bunk to grab Pinkly's lead so she could do her business and sneaked a glance into the games room, seeing a new note there. He smiled to himself as he read the latest letter, pocketing the paper and a fresh piece for himself before exiting the bus.

He wanted nothing more than to just reveal himself to Zacky, to stop with the secrecy and running around, and just tell his friend how he felt, but he was too scared of being rejected. No one else knew he was gay, at least if he had Zack by his side they could face the others together, eventually.

Pulling the top of his pen off with his teeth, he rested his half smoked cigarette against his knee and began to write.

Zacky,
That's what I'm counting on, I want you to figure out who I am. I've liked you for ages but I can't just come out and tell you to your face, I'm too chicken shit for that. Plus, if you don't feel the same way, I don't want to ruin the friendship we have. I hope you figure it out soon...
S xoxo

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

Zacky read the last note before slipping into his pocket and entering the dressing room. He sighed in frustration and ran a hand through his hair. He wished that whoever was writing the notes would just come out and say something. He looked around and noticed nobody else around. Since he knew it couldn't have been Jimmy to send the notes since they had narrowed it down to nicknames, he decided that maybe he could get help from him.

"Hey Jimmy, where are the others?" he asked.

"Brian went to go take a shower, Johnny went to hang out with the Berry twins, and Matt went to go call Val."

"Okay good."

"Should we wait for them to come back?"

"No, I need to talk to you about something." Zacky replied before he began to explain his predicament. He knew he could trust Jimmy to not say anything and would do anything he could to help if he could.

"I can understand why that would be frustrating." Jimmy said looking at him.

"You don't hate me do you?"

"Why would I hate you? For being bi?"

"Well, yeah." Zacky said biting at his snakebites as he began feeling anxious. He flinched at Jimmy's quick movements before relaxing as he felt the drummer's arms wrap around him.

"I'll always love you as a brother no matter what okay? I just can't promise the others will react the same way I have." he whispered to him quietly.

"You mean besides the person who wrote me those notes?"

"Besides that person whoever that may be. I'll do the best I can to help you out man, but if I can't find out who did it, I think the only way you'll be able to get them to come out at all is if you do what you were planning on doing."

"You mean telling the others about the notes?"

"I know it may not be the best thing, but think of that as a last resort sort of thing. In the mean time, I'll do anything I can to help you out okay?"

Zacky smiled before wrapping his arms tightly around his taller friend thanking him.

"What are you helping him with?"

@ RachTheBat

Brian was a little bummed that there was no new note for him when he'd checked, so he decided to head into the arena to take is mind off the green eyed boy that plagued his thoughts night and day. He stopped in his tracks as he heard Jimmy and Zack's voices floating through the gap in the door to the dressing room they had for the night, trying his best to block out all other noises and hone in on his friend's. When they stopped speaking, he slipped through the door, seeing Zacky with his arms around Jimmy. Swallowing down the bitter taste of jealousy, Brian plopped himself down onto the one couch in the room and picked up their set list for that night. "What are you helping him with Jim?"

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

Zacky tensed in Jimmy's arms when he heard Brian's voice and slowly turned his head to look at him. He felt a hand rubbing his back to try and get him to relax.

"N-Nothing, he was just-"

"You don't have to be ashamed Zack, I'm sure he wouldn't mind being in on it." Jimmy interrupted as he looked down at him.

"But-"

"What am I 'in on' exactly?" Brian arched an eyebrow at them.

"Messing with Johnny of course!" Jimmy exclaimed before getting up from the couch and practically dragging the lead guitarist out of the room before he could protest. Zacky laughed as he followed them before noticing Jimmy come back.

"Thank you." Zacky smiled at him.

"No trouble at all Z, I just bought you some time in case you wanna go back to the bus." he replied before moving to grab his drumsticks.

Zacky hurried back to the bus unnoticed and wrote a quick response to the last note.

S,
I'm sure no matter what the case is, we'll always be friends.
Z

He grabbed his guitar before heading before returning to the dressing room to get ready for the show.

@ RachTheBat

"Oh, is that it? Of course I'm in on that!" Brian grinned, swatting Jimmy's hand off his arm as he got up and followed the lanky assed drummer out to the main stage area. He wanted to stay in the room with Zacky and try to work up the courage to tell him who it was sending him the notes, but Jimmy wouldn't take no for an answer. He had a deep, churning in his stomach, knowing he didn't want to be with the others, but with the green eyed man that haunted his thoughts night and day. Noticing the others were all engrossed in their instruments, Brian slipped off stage and headed back to the bus, needing to see if there was a new note in place. His eyes lit up as he saw the white poking out of the seat, hastily grabbing it from its home and reading it, absorbing the words like a mental sponge. He wished he could believe that they would always be friends, hoped that if this did come out, Zack wouldn't look at him any differently.

Stepping into his bunk, he reached for a piece of paper and settled onto his bed, tapping his pen against his chin, deep in thought. So deep that he hadn't heard someone else enter the bus, hadn't noticed the person that now saw him with the paper in his lap, Zacky's note clutched in his palm..

Hearing a noise, Brian pulled the materials behind is back, his brows scrunched together as he leaned out to try and find the source of the sound. "Hello?" Getting no response, Brian shrugged to himself and finished his note.

Zacky,
I do hope that is the case, we've been friends for so long, it would kill me if I did anything to jeopardize that. I'm hoping that, if you do figure out who I am, you won't be disappointed.

Brian took a deep breath before scribbling the next part quickly before he chickened out, biting his bottom lip.

Here's another clue..I was the one that used to make you do my homework for me in school, the one that paid you in cigarettes and candy..
S xo

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

"Where the hell is Gates at? The show starts in like 10 minutes." Matt asked looking around backstage. Zacky looked around before shrugging.

"I'll go look for him." Jimmy said before running off somewhere to find the lead guitarist. Zacky headed back to the dressing room to look for him, only to find the room was empty. Sighing a little, he turned around and saw Jimmy standing there grinning like a madman. Either he was up to something, planning a prank, coming up with a new song idea, or maybe he found something having to do with the person and the notes.

"Did you find him?" Zacky questioned.

"Oh I found him alright." He smirked. Zacky raised an eyebrow at him. He knew something and he was about to ask what it was but was interrupted by hearing Matt yell at Brian for disappearing so close before a show.

"I'm sorry okay? I'm here now aren't I?"

"Just don't do it again okay?" He heard Matt say before they all headed on stage.

During the show, Zacky watched his friends as they all performed for the crowd. As he moved to the middle of the stage to do the duel guitar solos with Brian during Bat Country, he noticed something was a bit off. Brian was keeping his distance from him, which wasn't a normal thing. He played it off like it was nothing, but he felt a little hurt and puzzled by it as he walked back to his side of the stage. Had he done something wrong? Had he done something to make him mad at him? He looked back at Jimmy and saw him staring at the brown eyed man.

Once the show was over, he returned to the bus and found yet another note from whoever it was. He sat down and read it before frowning when the second half of the note looked to be crossed out in some places and even if it wasn't, he wouldn't have been able to read it because it seemed to have been written down in a rush.

"Zacky, we're gonna go out and party. You coming?" Johnny's voice entered his ears before turning around to face him and slipping the note into his pocket.

"No, I'm not really so much in a partying mood. Maybe tomorrow night or something."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. I'm just not in the mood to deal with people at the moment." He shrugged and walked past him not realizing that Brian was listening close by.

@ RachTheBat

Having heard the conversation between Zacky and Johnny, Brian decided to stay behind too, his mind whirring with possibilities at the thought of them being alone for the night. After putting Pinkly to bed in his bunk, he grabbed a quick shower and checked the games room out of habit, frowning when he saw there wasn't a new note. He bit his lip as he thought to the part of his last note, wondering if Zacky had been able to read it even though he crossed it out numerous times. Only one way to find out, he thought to himself as he pulled on a pair of shorts and a vest. Heading out to the front of the bus, he saw Zack sitting on the couch and opened the fridge, pulling out two bottles of beer. "Want one?"

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

Zacky turned his head before noticing Syn over by the fridge before frowning a little and turning his head away.

"I thought you were going out with the others." he said before moving to get up from the couch. He really wasn't in the mood to see anyone especially Brian with how he had been avoiding him through the show.

"Well I decided to stay and I thought maybe we could hang out or something." Brian replied taking a step closer to him.

"I'm just gonna go to bed. You can go catch up with the others. I told Johnny I didn't want to deal with anyone right now." he backed away before turning on his heel to go to return to his bunk.

"I just thought that-"

"Thought that what? That I'd just forget that you kind of blew me off during the show and started avoiding me? What the fuck did I ever do to you Brian? Did I do something to piss you off or what? If I did you should just come out and tell me rather than just giving me the cold shoulder." Zacky snapped as he looked up at him before feeling tears sting his eyes a little. He turned away again hoping that Brian didn't see how upset he was getting.

"Zacky I-"

"I'm going to bed. Just go catch up with the others. Tell them you changed your mind or something." he muttered before crawling back into his bunk.

He pulled the note out of his pocket and gazed at it before deciding to reply to it once he heard the bus door shut.

S,
I don't care if you're gay or bi if you're thinking I'd hate you because of that. I'd be a bit of a hypocrite if that were the case.
Z

@ RachTheBat

Brian watched Zacky storm off with wide eyes, not sure whether to go after him or leave with the others. Biting his lip, he glanced down at his hands and whispered an apology before leaving the bus. He hadn't meant to avoid Zack during the show, but he just couldn't help the thoughts that ran through his head whenever he were near. He thought he might have combusted with want as Zacky rubbed up against him. And now the rhythm hated him. Sighing to himself, he caught up with the others but his mind was still on the bus, with Zacky. He couldn't concentrate on the conversation around him so he sloped off, almost undetected. A hand grabbed his arm just as he was through the door and he looked up into Jimmy's blue eyes. "What do you want Jim?"

"What's up with you? Looks like someone stole your last cookie," he chuckled.

"Nothing, I'm heading back to the bus, tired." Jimmy shrugged his shoulders and let his friend pass, wondering if he was gonna write another note. Only time would tell..

Deciding to check for a new note, Brian slipped into the games room quietly, smiling when he saw the white sticking out of the corner of the seat. He gulped as he read, the note confirming what he'd thought all those years. Zacky was gay. Or bisexual, whatever, he was into guys. He just wished he knew if Zacky was into one particular guy.

Zacky,
Thank you. Knowing you're into guys too makes me breathe a little easier. I just wish I knew if you were into me like I am you.
S xo

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

Zacky awoke the next morning sighing to himself. He didn't mean to overreact and snap at Brian last night but he couldn't help it. After all, he did avoid him and then turn around and act as if it were nothing. He turned his head slightly and noticed another note by the edge of his pillow. As he read it he sighed a bit in frustration before running a hand through his hair and pulling out another piece of paper to write.

S,
How can I even know if I'm into you or not when I still don't have an idea of who you are?
Zacky

He climbed out of his bunk and placed the note in the usual place before heading towards the front of the bus.

"Zacky can I talk to you?"

He turned around and saw Brian biting his lip nervously. He simply shrugged and went to sit on the couch. Brian sat down on the other side away from him and Zacky felt bad about making him uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry Bri..."

@ RachTheBat

"I should be the one apologising, not you." Brian moved a little closer to his friend now that they were both sat down, trying to clear his mind of dirty thoughts enough so they could sit and talk. "I'm sorry for making you think I was avoiding you on stage, I wasn't. But I can't tell you what's up, at least, not yet anyway." Zacky furrowed his brows at his friend, more confused than ever now. Getting up, Brian gave Zack a small smile before retreating to his bunk, hoping a new note would be in the games room waiting for him. He really hoped Zack would put two and two together and fast, Brian was running out of excuses as to why he had been avoiding the rhythm on stage and for his sneaky behaviour aboard their tour bus.

Settling down to write a new note, Brian nearly screamed when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Stuffing the paper and pen behind his back, he turned to see the mischievous blue eyes of his best friend and drummer, smiling happily at him. "What do you want Jim?"

"You know, you should just tell him it's you." Before Brian could interrupt with an excuse, Jimmy sat down next to him. "I know it's you, I saw you. Dude, I'm pretty sure he feels the same so just man up and tell him, what have you got to lose?"

A lot, Brian thought to himself as he watched Jimmy skip down the hall. Looking down at the paper in his hand, he mulled over just coming out and telling Zacky it was him.

Zacky,
If you really wanna know who I am then meet me later at the games room. I just hope I don't disappoint you...
S xo

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

Zacky groaned in frustration as Brian got up and left the room. He wouldn't tell him why he was avoiding him? He deserved an explanation as to why he had been avoiding him. It was bad enough that the person in the note wouldn't tell him who they were. Jimmy practically flew into the room with a wicked grin on his face.

"What are you so happy about?" he raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh nothing. Nothing at all." Jimmy replied.

"Did you find anything out about the person who-"

"Jimmy! We got an interview to go to let's go!" Johnny called out.

"Sorry Zacky, I gotta go." he said before running out the door.

Zacky sighed and moved to get up to head back to his bunk to notice yet another note. He read it and sighed a little. He decided he'd head to the games room to wait for the person.

He just hoped he didn't fall asleep this time.

A couple hours had gone by and still the person hadn't shown up. He was getting really sick and tired of waiting so he moved to get up from the chair.

"I should have known this was a waste of time." he said to himself as he started to leave the room.

"Zacky?"

@ RachTheBat

Brian stared at the clock on his phone, watching the minutes tick by, so nervous he felt sick. He knew that Zacky had seen his note, a little trip to the games room had confirmed that for him. He'd heard the other get out of his bunk and go to the place they agreed to meet almost an hour ago, Brian chewing on his thumb nail as he decided whether to go or not.

Taking a deep breath, Brian ran a hand trough his hair and got up, sucking up the nerves so he could get this over with and hope that Zack felt the same way he did. He paused by the entrance to the games room, feeling somewhat guilty at the pissed off look on his friends face. "Zacky?" Brian moved a little more into the room so his friend could see it was him, closing the door gently behind him. "I'm sorry I kept you waiting, I was a little nervous." Brian glanced down at his sock clad feet, chewing on his lip, his heart pounding viciously against his rib cage.

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

Zacky's eyes widened in shock at the lead guitarist.

"You're the one who's been sending me the notes?" he questioned as he watched him.

"Y-Yeah it's me." Brian stuttered as he stared down at his feet avoiding making eye contact with the man in front of him.

The more Zacky thought back, the more it made sense. Why Brian would randomly disappear almost all the time. He also remembered Brian carrying him back to his bunk after he had pretended to sleep.

"I should have known. I'm such an idiot."

"Zacky-"

"It was you outside the bus wasn't it?" he asked as he noticed Brian tense up.

"I-I don't kn-"

"After that note that said I could meet you outside. I should have known that was you. You kissed me too didn't you?"

"I thought you were asleep."

"I was pretending to be asleep. I could tell you started to freak out when I said your name so I just acted like I was asleep." he shrugged.

"You don't like me that way do you?" Brian asked him looking at him with sad puppy dog eyes. He sighed before running a hand through his hair.

"I honestly don't know Bri. I mean you're one of my best friends. I don't want to hurt you, but I feel like either way that could happen and I hate that."

"O-Okay." Brian stuttered a little again before turning to leave.

"But it doesn't mean I couldn't try to give you a chance right?"

@ RachTheBat

Brian's stomach plummeted at Zacky's words, all colour draining from his face as he swallowed thickly, a lump forming in his throat. "I'm sorry, I should have just manned up and told you the score instead of sneaking around like some teenage chick." Running a hand through his hair, he tugged on the strands in frustration. Why was he so stupid? He could never get anything right. "You don't have to do that if you don't want to I just-" His words cut off as Zacky pulled him into his arms, Brian forgetting how to breathe let alone think straight. Remembering how to hug back, he slid his arms around Zack's waist and rested his chin on the smaller man's shoulder, breathing in the mixture of cologne and cigarette smoke. He felt like he belonged here, in Zacky's arms, like he'd come home. "I guess we could give it a shot."

@ Xxzackysangel6661Xx

Zacky pulled away to glance up at Brian as he bit at his snakebites.

"What do we do now? I mean do we tell the others-"

"The others don't have to know right now. Well, Jimmy I think kind of already knows, but this can be our secret for now." Brian replied. He nodded before embracing Brian again and resting his head against his shoulder. He was fine with keeping it a secret for the time being, but at the same time, he was absolutely terrified of what Matt and Johnny might think once they found out about all of this.

@ RachTheBat