my best friends brother || closed

@ totallyugly

Sebastian sat there, feeling the bed shift as another body was sitting on it, looking over at the person sitting down next him. "I don't know," he said, clearly stressing out about it. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, eyes scanning the room around him as if it was his first time being in here, when he was really just nervous. "Maybe? I mean, I kind of understand your.. reaction towards earlier, but then again I don't." He said in an exasperated voice, sighing loudly as he rubbed his face with his hands.

This was just so confusing, he was more confused than he ever had been in his life. And he thought women were complicated, way back in middle school when he hadn't even considered he might just be gay and not really into women. Now he realizes women aren't all that bad.

@ olober;

Kade shook his head. He knew he was making things more complicated, but he couldn't help it. It's not like he wanted to make it difficult. It was just all so new, in both a good and a bad way.

"I've never kissed a guy before," Kade blurted out. It was the only thing he could say. It was really the reason why he was so lost about the whole thing. He wasn't gay, he had never kissed another boy, and then to top it off, his first was with his best friend's brother. "I don't know, I just panicked when I heard Eric. I didn't mean to push you away, I just-" Kade sighed and turned to face Sebastian, "I got scared." He didn't know how else to admit it. He sucked in a breath and let it out fast. "What was your first kiss like?" He gave his full attention to Sebastian before adding quickly, "With a guy I mean." He asked it genuinely, trying his best to not make it sound insulting or something. He didn't know if Sebastian had kissed any girls, or if he had always been gay. He just wanted to know if what he felt kissing Sebastian was what Sebastian felt. Then maybe, it would make more sense to him.

@ totallyugly

Sebastian wasn't really shocked that he hadn't kissed a guy before, he figured the other had been completely straight anyway. "Actually," he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, clearing his throat. "My first kiss with a guy was terrible. It was an old friend of mine, he said he'd.. had thoughts, about kissing a guy. Just to see what it was like, he said he actually liked me and stuff." Sebastian said softly, shaking his head. "We kissed, held hands, all that good stuff. Then one day he turned around and called me a faggot, that he was just playing with me and laughed at how I thought he could be a faggot like me. It was terrible." He shook his head, biting down on his lower lip. That's why he was kind of scared to be around Kade, considering the other was a straight male. What if he just thought he was, and when it got more intense, if this relationship continued, he told the other he was just stringing him along to figure out he was still straight? It was a terrible thought, but it'd already happened once.

That really wasn't the story Kade had been expecting to hear but as he thought about it made more sense, especially after everything Sebastian had said earlier and Eric too. Kade frowned, looking down as he realized that's probably exactly what he thought Kade was doing to him. He repeated to himself that he wasn't gay several times over the past hour, but how could he want another guy as bad as he wanted Sebastian and not be? He didn't want to string Sebastian along- Sebastian's been through enough as it was, aside from that, it wouldn't do much justice for his friendship with Eric to play his brother. Kade had enough heart to have no intent of doing anything like that, ever. The want Kade had for the other was unreal; he craved his touch, his nerdy fantasy game playing friendship, his everything.

Kade's heart fluttered with Sebastian biting his lip. "Mine was.." He smiled shyly, pausing to let out a gust of air that sounded a lot like a laugh, "mine was pretty great."

@ olober;

@ totallyugly

Sebastian let out a small chuckle, making sure to keep somewhat quiet. He didn't know what he was so worried about, as he said before his brother could sleep through anything. A small shade of pink appeared on his cheeks as he said that, a smile curving his lips upward. "Well, uh.. I'm glad I could help," he said in an awkward tone, eyes downcast. He didn't know what else to say or do, he was too much of an awkward person. Not to mention, Kade was straight. "Did it mean anything to you?" He blurted out as he looked up at Kade, then frowned when he realized that was probably a stupid question to ask.

Kade wouldn't have come up here if it didn't, would he? "You don't have to answer that."

@ olober;

A smile grew on Kade's face when he saw Sebastian's blush, loving the way his cheeks pinked slightly at his words. He felt like he could really get used to making him blush. It was so weird for Kade to think about it, but weird in a new kind of way. "I'm sort of new at this whole.. thing, but I'm pretty sure it meant something," he admitted quietly.

Kade would have been embarrassed but something told him that Sebastian wouldn't make a big deal about it. He's been through more than most people Kade knew, and he knew that he would probably understand, whether the feeling was mutual or not. And that gave him more confidence in himself. A few minutes ago, Kade would have refused to accept that he was gay. It made no sense to him, he had been with several girls, and never thought twice about another guy. But it can change right? When you meet someone that makes you feel the way Kade did kissing Sebastian.

He leaned a little towards Sebastian, "You know that feeling you get when you're on a roller coaster, and you're at the top of the hill, and you think to yourself, 'what the hell am I doing'?" Kade let out a chuckle and went on, "You feel like everything has dropped off below you and you could just fly off the tracks, and then you're falling and you stomach does this flip thing, and it's the greatest thing in the world." He smiled again at Sebastian, not knowing where the words were coming from. Maybe the adrenaline he got from being so close to Sebastian on the small bed space. "That's kind of what it was like. Including the wanting to do go on that ride again the minute it's over."

@ totallyugly

"Ah," was all Sebastian could even manage to say right now, the blush on his cheeks going darker, turning into a red color. Kade just had this affect on him, anything he said could make him blush like crazy. Before, he never thought twice about Kade. Sure, he had thought he was a good looking guy, but never anything deeper than that. But after getting to know him a little bit better, and kissing him of course, he realized his attraction to him ran deeper than he originally thought. Kade had probably been with so many girls, what made him go this direction? Did he consider himself straight, or what? It was all so confusing, being with someone who didn't consider himself gay or bi, just into he himself.

Shaking his head, he looked over at Kade shyly, flicking his head to the side to remove the fringe that was dangling in his eyes, sticking to his lashes. "I just.. I'm a bit worried. I tried being with someone who was still straight, just gay for me." His lips twitched into a small frown, sighing softly.

@ olober;

What did he expect Sebastian to do, fall into his arms and deeply in love? It never works like that. But the blushing of Sebastian let Kade know that he did feel something back. He knew that Sebastian would be cautious of having another bad relationship like before, but Kade wouldn't do that to him. He knew he wouldn't. You can't simply fake feeling like this or easily get over it so he knew it wouldn't be going away any time soon.

Kade stood up from the bed, took a deep breath and sighed loudly. He brushed a hand through his hair and let his arm fall heavily to his side. "Well. Look, I'm not positive about the whole thing, but.." He gave a crooked smile and laughed, "it's not like I'm going anywhere. And neither are you. So if you want to get to each other better first, then fine. Because honestly, I wouldn't mind hanging out and playing more of that game." He shrugged his shoulders and shifted his weight onto the back of his heels, making him rock in place.

@ totallyugly

With a nod of his head, he gave Kade a shy smile and lifted his hand up, hesitating a second before grabbing a hold of his hand and lacing their fingers together, clasping on tightly. "I really would like that, Kade," he whispered softly, his nerves starting to get the better of him. What if Kade decided it wasn't what he wanted? Sebastian didn't think he would do that, considering he did just say it wasn't like he was going anywhere. And god, Sebastian prayed he didn't. He definitely felt something for Kade, something that possibly ran passed like. He couldn't say he loved the other, it was way too soon for that. But it was definitely between like and love. It was like like, if that made any sense. It sounded like something children said, but it made sense to him anyway.

He didn't have much experience with relationships, but he would be happy to figure it all out with Kade.

@ olober;

It was sort of weird gesture to make but Kade smiled as Sebastian laced their fingers together, creating that hot bubbly feeling in his hand that traveled up his arm. Kade really couldn't get enough of that feeling. It could get a little tricky, just trying to be Sebastian's friend without trying to kiss him and touch him every chance he got. The thoughts of kissing Sebastian were so dominant over everything else Kade felt, but he tried his best to contain himself. He needed to let Sebastian have his time, and not pressure him.

He loved hearing Sebastian say his name. The way it flowed from the other's lips gave Kade goosebumps, "me too."

Kade smiled to himself and the other. This could be interesting. He wondered about Eric though, what would he think of his best friend and his brother? Kade's smiled turned into a frown. "And Eric?"

@ totallyugly

Sebastian had totally forgotten about his brother, too caught up in the feeling of their hands touching and just being together like this. The kiss they had shared was still on his mind, he could feel it sending shock waves down his spine, and his lips were still tingling from the warmth he felt. Never in his life had he felt like that, and it surprised and scared him all at once. A small frown curved the corners of his lips downward, wondering what exactly they were going to do about Eric. Never in his life had his brother really payed too much attention to who he dated, he wasn't really involved in his dating life and neither was Sebastian, there was no need.

"I don't think he should know," he said softly, his frown staying. As much as he wanted people to know, maybe it wasn't wise for now. Sebastian wasn't much for hiding his relationship, but maybe now it was necessary. And he was pretty sure Kade wasn't ready to let everybody know he was into guys, or just Sebastian, for now anyway. He would just have to be patient.. and as for Eric, he didn't have to now either. He knew his brother would be pissed off.

"For now, we need to take time to figure each other out, and this.. relationship." He said with a blush.

@ olober;

Relaxing at Sebastian's conclusion, Kade offered a smile.

Kade wasn't ashamed of anything by all means. He had never been the type to be ashamed of the way he was or what he thought or very judgmental of other people either. Much like how he could have cared less knowing about Sebastian being gay. Or the fact that maybe he was gay too. It was still a matter of Kade figuring himself out though. It would really just make everything easier, on both him and Sebastian, to them figure things out themselves before telling anyone else.

He looked down at their hands, still clasped together and gave a squeeze at the other warm hand in his own. "Our secret then." He smiled again and reluctantly let go of Sebastian's hand. He let out a relieved sigh then glanced at the clock, yawning and giving a small stretch as he did so.

@ totallyugly

Sebastian was glad it all worked out like this. There was something about the other that he didn't want to give up on. He just hoped the other felt the same way.. he didn't want to be another straight males experiment. In a way, it was hard for a Gay man to find a boyfriend. Either they were experimenting with the idea of being Gay, or they were just looking for a quickie and that was it. Now that Sebastian found someone who didn't seem like he was going to pull either, he wanted to keep a hold on him as long as he could.

He was a bit disappointed with Kade letting go of his hand, but took a look at his clock and realized why he had done so. "It's pretty late," he mused quietly, leaning back on to his head board, having no idea what to say next. Would Kade sleep in here, or go back downstairs? Excitement bubbled inside of him at what his answer would possibly be.

@ olober;

Kade nodded at Sebastian's comment swayed towards the door tiredly. He reached for the handle but dropped his hand and turned back to the bed. He ruffled a hand through his hair and shoved a hand in his pocket. "Actually.. Do you care if I just stay in here?" he asked warily. Considering the circumstances Kade didn't know if it would be alright to the other, but he waited patiently for the answer.

It was sort of like a school crush now, what Kade was feeling. Where just being in the same room with that person gives you a rush. And the last thing you want to do is walk away from them. Something sparked inside him at the thought of sleeping with Sebastian. Being close to him, close enough to touch him.

Kade looked at the floor and then back up to Sebastian, meeting his eyes.

@ totallyugly

Sebastian's heart started going a mile a minute. The thought of being inches away from each other thrilled him, sending butterflies in his stomach. It was silly, what Kade did to him. This crush, or whatever he felt for Kade, was sending him into a fit of nerves, like this was his first crush or something. Biting his lower lip, he smiled softly and nodded his head tiredly. "Yeah, sure, I don't mind." He said quickly, cursing himself for sounding way too eager.

He leaned over and turned off the light, the only light now in the room was from the lamp that was right next to his bed, sitting on a small table. Scooting over on his bed so the other had more room, he lied face up on the pillow and just stared at the ceiling, willing the nerves to go away already.

@ olober;

Kade's mouth twitched into a smile as he watched Sebastian's quick reaction. "Cool," he said softly in reply once the light was off. It was quiet in the room now, but a comfortable silence. Kade made way to the bed and laid down next to the other, careful not to be too close. He laid on his back just like Sebastian had and fixed his eyes on whatever he assumed Sebastian was staring at. "Nice ceiling," he laughed and said after a few minutes.

The ceiling bored Kade and with that he turned his head to he could look at the other through more than just his peripheral. The remaining light source cast a funny shadow over Sebastian's face, making certain places glow at the same time. The light made Sebastian's fringe shadow over his eyes and Kade frowned slightly at his inability to see the warm color of Sebastian's green tinted eyes. He rolled over on his side, facing inwards on the bed, making the distance between their bodies wider but allowing him a better view of the other.

@ totallyugly

[Hopefully I do that gif you sent me justice, xD]

Sebastian blushed faintly when Kade called him out on staring down the ceiling, his cheeks dusting a light pink. He swore he had done more blushing today than he ever had in his life. Of course, being around Kade brought that reaction out of him and left him feeling helpless, like he couldn't control his own body or the things he said around him. Never in his life had Sebastian felt this way, not even around his first "boyfriend", or whatever you wanted to call that.

Moving his body so he was facing Kade, he bit down on his lower lip and scooted closer to him before lifting up his arm, sliding his head underneath it as he brought his own body with him. They were brushing against each other, their faces brought closer together with Sebastian's action.

@ alexander william.

Kade grinned to himself as Sebastian blushed yet again. It was something Kade was sure would never stop having an effect on him. The mere fact it was Kade making the blood rush to the other boy's face was enough to make him want to make it happen over and over. There was no denying these feelings, so much more intense than Kade had ever experience with anyone else.

With Sebastian scooting closer and slipping up Kade's arm, their faces were close enough that Kade could feel Sebastian's breath on his own face. He swallowed hard, feeling their bodies brushed against each other, and adjusted his arm in turn pulling Sebastian the slightest bit closer. "I want to kiss you again."