Here it is, so sorry:( But it's there now, sorry again if its short and shitty. I just wanted to get it out:
Cael
I snuggled into the covers around me, praising everything holy and unholy that it was a Saturday and I didn’t have to get up and go to school.
It was also my birthday but I’d told everyone to give me the day off and we’d throw a rager at the end of the week. Birthdays have always been a sort of negative for me after 16. I mean I know I’m only 18 however I feel like I’m so much older; like I’m some middle aged boy still holding onto a long lost crush.
Neither Faye’s heart or gorgeous belonged to me, regardless of how much I wanted it. I could only dream of looking like that? I just didn’t have the build for it. I huffed and picked up my phone, checking my missed messages and notifications, looking for something to distract my mind from thoughts of Faye.
Sure enough there were rumors going around about the crash that happened all over facebook, no one from the incident itself commenting as they were told not to talk about the almost-tragedy by the school.
One thing seemed to stick out from everything else though, one thing that was repeated more often than it was not. Acrimony saved Porter.
I wondered what it must be like to have played a part in saving someone else’s life. It, to my every romanticizing mind, made me think of the eternal bond that those two people now share. Like the red string of fate had been tied between the two of them that day and they were destined to share that bond.
That was the kind of bond, the kind of love that followed that I longed for all my life. I wanted to be cared for in that kind of way, the way that someone would want to save me.
I know it wasn’t like that at all, that Acrimony was just stepping in to do what he feel needed to be done in the moment, but I couldn’t help but think there was more to it. Maybe not now, but I was confident that one day there would be.
Greed filled me from the want for that connection with someone else, the promise of a connection, a possible future together. Hell, I didn’t even know if Faye and I would still be friends at the end of the year.
A growl escaped my lips and I tossed and turned some, sitting up in bed before wringing my hands together, that want filling me.
I may not have a human connection but hell I wanted something and why shouldn’t I have material things to comfort me.
Grabbing my computer from my backpack, I went shopping, buying clothes, accessories, snacks, products I didn’t really need and probably would never use but I didn’t care, because soon, they would be mine.
And that was all that really mattered.
February 26th, 2015 at 05:09am