Deadly

YOU CAN DO IT!

Thanks! I'm trying to make writing my relaxing thing. So hopefully that'll work:D

Who is next in the transition?

It's me! WOOT!
My plan is to re-read it all to freshen up my brain. And my goal is to do a rough draft by Friday, edit it, get your ohkays and hopefully post it like Sunday, or around there. :)

Yay!!! I can't wait!!

@ A S K I N G .
how's it going?

@ A S K I N G .
how's it going?

@ A S K I N G .
Everything okay?

I had a really jam-packed week of school, then a three day trip to colleges, followed by a week of spring break. Which should have been plenty of time. But really seeing colleges has made me realize that, crap, at the end of this year (beginning of next school year) I'm going to be applying to colleges, I'm going to leave home. I'm going to have to deal with what happens between my boyfriend and I. My sister's engaged too. But before all of that I need to get ready to pass some AP test. SAT Test. Subject Tests. And it's a lot on my mind I guess. It's over-whelming and scary and super crazy BUT IT'S LIFE.

Thus I've been nothing but a bum this past week and I know that is kinda a mean thing to do because I promise I'd pull my weight for you guys and produce a chapter but I didn't. And I feel really bad and understand if you guys are a bit annoyed because I'd be too.

I'm sorry.

But finally, here it is. . .

Edward:

It seems as if everyone around me won’t shut up about it. No matter what class I’m in, or where I am in the school, someone is talking about it. It’s even annoying to hear that ninety-percent of what people are saying happened, is wrong. I know exactly what the hell happened this morning before school started.

I was behind the wheel of the car that almost hit Porter. It was me who was driving faster than I should have, who didn’t really notice him even walking into the street. I honestly thought that I couldn’t stop in time. I was hoping that maybe, worst case scenario, the car would push him over and maybe hurt his leg, but I never thought he’d be able to get away unscathed.

Porter should count his fucking lucky stars. If Acrimony wasn’t there, or didn’t have the adrenaline rush, Porter could have been seriously injured. Acrimony could have been injured.

Fuck, I could have almost killed two people today.

And where the fuck was my mind before it? Why was I so out of this morning? One second I was being a smart ass with Zaiden and the next I was zoning out. . .

Today is just a strange day all around, I blame it on my mom. She’s the one who jinxed me by telling me not to do stupid things. Yet I did. . . and I almost killed two classmate. But my mom put the pressure on me and. . .

I almost killed someone. I almost killed two people.

I feel like shit too. To think that a wandering mind could lead to such a shitty ending.

Fuck. I need to stop thinking about this.

I stop in my steps in the middle of the hallway and take a deep breath. Then I furrow my eyebrows and continue to walk.

I’m going to fucking stare all these stupid rumor-spreading-kids down. Ruining my damn day. These little shits don’t know when to shut up about something.

So, as I walk down the halls and hear those damn rumors, I make it a point to stare at the person talking about it. I try to give them a don’t-fucking-talk-about-it stare and most of the time it works. Although, I wish I could silence their mouths with my fists. . .

Soon I’m finally entering the cafeteria for lunch, but as I scan the room, looking for Zaiden, I realize I don’t want to. I don’t want to talk to him because was there with me, in that car. And I don’t feel like eating at all because of what happened. . .

“Ah, fuck” I growl and turn around.

Shit, I just can’t let this morning go.

Because what If I actually did seriously injure Porter or Acrimony? Then again, I do beat up freshmen and other people, but I do that on purpose.

When I rough-up the underclassmen, I know what I’m doing. I’m in control of my hands, of the impact I leave. I didn’t feel in control when I was driving. Which is fucking stupid to say because I was the one driving. But for the split second my brain wandered and. . . . does that even make sense?.

Fucking crap. Bull shit. Mother-fucker.

I think I have to surrender to the fact that today is just going to suck and this sinking feeling my stomach is not going to way because I almost ran over two people who go to my school this morning. I know I didn’t but I came pretty damn close and that’s just a shitty realization. Imagine what if I had. . .? Agh, fuck.

I don’t want to hear people talking about it but I can’t exactly go around and tell everyone to shut up because that’s too much work.

I don’t want to think about it but, guess what, it’s everywhere I go.

And I don’t fucking want to talk about it because I almost killed two people. That’s not the best thing to talk about it.

Usually I’d talk about my feelings to Zaiden, but not in a mushy intimate way. More like a bro-to-bro manner, although he was sometimes a whiny bitch. I’m not the type to get all feminine with my emotions.

Fuck, can’t guys just talk things out in a non-emotional way?

Thing is Zaiden was there for the whole thing so I don’t want to talk to him because I almost killed two people. Not just one person, but two people.

Jesus-fucking-Christ.

I guess this internal crap isn’t going to go away anytime soon.

I don’t feel like staying here at school, either. I haven’t been able to do any work, not like I actually even do but I usually learn a thing or two and I can’t because I almost killed people this morning.

But If I call home my mom will find out and make a fuss about it and I’m pretty sure the school staff have heard about what has happened and maybe will want to talk to me about it or are perhaps going to take me out of one of my next classes so . . .

I’m ditching the rest of the day and I’m going to go to the damn park or some shit like that. . . yeah. . I’ll go to the skate park . . . and I won’t have to think about this bull shit.

But I don’t want to drive home because. . . I almost killed two people with my car so. . . I’ll leave the keys in Zaiden's locker. Let that bitch deal with driving it. . .

I smirk and quickly make my way to his locker to leave my car keys. He has a couple of those mini-whiteboards in there so I write ‘Deal with it bitch’ and then make my way to the exit of the school.

I walk past the parking lot and my car and make my way home to get my skateboard and go to the skate park.

Yeah, screw school today.

I totally understand about school and everything. Life happens so it's all good.

And you did a great job as always! Aww but Edward though. D:

Yeah! No worries, dealing with life comes first! I love it though :)

It was great! And I do completely understand, after a lot of stress, vegging out is completely necessary.

I'm going to update it <3

Okay! So here's my Sawyer chapter :D

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“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Soy-ee, happy birthday to you!” I opened my eyes to see my aunt sitting beside me on my bed with a plate of pancakes in her hands. Today was the big day, I was finally eighteen and all my aspirations of helping my aunt out were slowly dwindling with all the motivation an eighteen year old should probably have.

I hadn’t been able to pull myself out of bed long enough to do anything as of lately, but today I’d make an exception for her.

“Thanks aunty.” I yawned as I sat up and took the plate from her. I dug in hoping that the food would give me some type of energy, but sadly it didn’t. But before I gave up all hope my aunt smiled and grabbed a thermos decorated with a bow off the floor and handed it to me. I grinned at the swirly letters on it which clearly spelled out my name. It was a little girly, but I loved it. She knew me too well.

“I know it’s a little feminine, but you’re always leaving my mugs in your car so I figured why not spring for one a little more personalized.” She winked, and I couldn’t help but to laugh.

“You’re the best.” I chuckled and shook my head as I opened it up, the steam that rolled out warmed my heart up and I inhaled the sweet hazelnut scent that poured out of it. “Oh god, you already filled it too? Thank you!”

“I did! Now you can go to school lazy ass.” She laughed and I rolled my eyes. It had been a few days since I had gone, so I couldn’t really argue with her on needing to go. Would it be a productive day? Probably not. But the least I could do would be to humor her.

So I forced myself out of bed after eating my birthday breakfast and climbed in the shower. When I got out I realized that my sneaky aunt had woken me up long before I needed to be up, so I sighed and sat down on the couch. She laughed once she saw my disgruntled look, but went about her way getting ready for her day.

It wasn’t really all that long of a wait, but it’s an extra ten minutes I could have been sleeping so it really felt like an eternity, but even worse I was actually on time to school today so I didn’t get to dodge everyone like I usually did. People who remembered stopped me and told me happy birthday, and the people who overheard those people stopped me a little further down and wished me a happy one as well. It was nice, but nauseating, and I don’t think I have ever been happier to sit down in class before. But the happy feeling slowly dissipated as this overly perky girl whose name escaped me sat down. I knew my day was about to go quickly down hill when she turned around and smiled. Oddly she knew my name, but I couldn’t for the life of me remember hers.

I stared blankly at the female as she spoke. I don’t know why she started speaking, but for some reason she talked to me as if we had been friends for years; which was probably one of my biggest pet peeves. She didn’t even care if I responded or not, she just kept talking and talking, but then she struck a nerve. She brought up the ALMOST accident that happened LAST month which sent the class into an uproar all over again. Not that the topic had died down any, but it seriously only took one person to set it off still, and it drove me insane. Porter is fine, Acrimony is fine, and the two douche wads in the car are doing just as well. I will never be able to wrap my head around why anyone still cares this much!

“I just don’t know how he did it!” She exclaimed before looking at me again. “Sawyer, it was like he was there one minute and then on the other side of the street the next! It was insane.”

“That tends to happen when people run. They don’t usually stay in the same place.”

“No, you don’t understand, it was like… Faster than running!”

“Okay so he sprinted.” I sighed, my composure for her stupidity was at its very end now. “Why are you talking to me?”

She huffed exaggeratedly and turned around in her seat. I could hear here call me rude or something to that extent before gabbing on with another guy. Their conversation, her voice, this class, the school, and everything about today were all seriously draining me.

“Alright, alright class! Class settle down. Today we’re going to discuss-“

I zoned out after that. My body just felt so heavy, and my eyelids felt even heavier. I just wanted to go home, but this would be the fourth time this week.

“Sawyer, please lift your head up.” I looked up at the woman standing in front of me, she said a few more words in an angrier tone, but I didn’t bother listening. I couldn’t take this anymore. I was eighteen, I was an adult now, and I didn’t have to be here if I didn’t want too.

I was good with my hands, I could figure out a job that didn’t need schooling. Yeah, maybe I’d just drop out. I mean I’d hate to disappoint my aunt, but holy shit.

I grabbed my bag and smiled at her before politely moving around her and exiting the classroom. I could hear her yelling at me, telling me to come back but it was all just white noise.

It didn’t even feel like I was moving my legs now, I just kind of drifted through the halls and out to my car. I probably shouldn’t drive, but it wasn’t like I was going to walk home, so I started up my engine and slowly made my way back to the house.

My aunts car was gone, so I knew I’d have at least a couple hours of uninterrupted blissful sleep before I had to deal with being scolded again. Eventually I’d convince her that school just wasn’t for everyone, and I was one of those people who it just wasn’t for.

Until then, I smiled and rested my head against my worn down and raggedy pillow.

Happy birthday to me.

oh my goodness love it!

woop woop:D I likey!

Awh thanks guys! It has been posted!!

So here's Zaiden's chapter! Uhm I didn't really know how to end it so if you guys have any suggestions or anything...

- - - - -

It's been a month since the incident and while the gossip died down a little it was still floating around in the atmosphere.

No matter how hard I tried to forget it was still there in the back of my mind. Replaying over and over again. The fact that I was in the car that almost ended someone's life. It was literally haunting me.

I've been waking up in the middle of the night in a sweat from having dreams of the incident. Sometimes it would be about the events that actually occurred and other times Porter wasn't so lucky.

I tried bringing it up to my parents because I thought that maybe if I talked about it with someone it'd help erase some of the tension. But I couldn't bring it up to them. The only person I was willing to talk about it with was Edward.

But Edward isn't really one to talk about his feelings like that nor was he one to listen to other people's feelings. And after leaving school early the day of the incident and leaving me his keys and a note that said "Take care of it bitch", I was kind of iffy about bringing it up to him. That was just how he handled things and if I brought up something that happened a month ago he'd probably be pretty annoyed.

All I know is that if I don't talk about this with someone I'm gonna go crazy.

Once class lets out I make my way to my locker. Before I can get there out of the hundreds of bodies scrambling in the halls I manage to spot out Porter in the crowd. Out of all of the fucking people in the hall I have to spot him out.

Images begin to run through my head and I desperately tried to make them go away. I pushed through the crowd trying to get far away from Porter as possible hoping that would solve my problem.

By the time I made it to my locker I was struggling to catch my breath, Edward was no where to be found and I felt like crying and screaming and punching someone. I contemplated texting Edward but decided to not bother him with my needy-ness and at least try to make it until lunch.

When lunch came around I couldn't bring myself to bring up my problem with Edward. Not because I was scared of how he'd react but we weren't alone and I didn't want to bring it up in front of everyone else.

Edward nudged me and I looked up from my untouched food to look up at my friend. There was something floating around in his eyes. I couldn't tell if it was concern, annoyance or just indifference. "What's up with you?"

I shake my head. "Nothing."

"Bullshit. You're being less annoying than usual and you haven't touched your food."

I sigh. "Uhm..I just- can we talk later?"

Edward looks reluctant, but finally nods in agreement and goes back to socializing and eating while I sit there staring at my food and internally freaking out.

Somehow I managed to make it through the rest of the day and as soon as the bell rung at the end of the day I made my way to Edward's locker and waited for him.

For a minute I thought he wouldn't show up but he finally came. We walked silently towards the bleachers and he lit a cigarette as we walked.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Edward finally asks when we're situated on the bleachers.

I take a deep, shaky breath before speaking. "I can't take it anymore. I can't stop thinking about it. Everywhere I go it just replays in my head over and over and I have dreams, no, nightmares where the outcome doesn't come out so well and I- I can't stand it and-"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

I turn to look at my friend with glassy eyes and he looks back at me almost in annoyance. He lets out a sigh and puts out his cigarette giving me his full attention.

"L-last month when we almost hit Porter," I whispered.

"And why the hell are we even talking about this?"

"Because its haunting me! Because I was so fucking scared that we were gonna kill someone. Even though we didn't we came close to it and-and what if we did? What if we hit Porter and Acrimony didn't get to him in time or what if we hit both of them or what if-"

"But we didn't, okay!"

"But we could have! What if next time we're not so lucky?"

Edward rolls his eyes and I feel really stupid getting all worked up over this. Nothing happened. It could've been bad, but it wasn't and I shouldn't be making a big fuss about the "what ifs".

I wipe my eyes and let out a choked laugh."I'm sorry. I'm being really stupid."

"Yeah, you kinda are."

I playfully punch Edward in his arm as I continue to wipe at my eyes.

Edward lets out a sigh and what he does next really catches me by surprise. He wraps his arms around me pulling me into his chest. My eyes are wide and I feel this weird tingling go through out my body that makes me shudder. I quickly brush that feeling aside though and wrap my arms around Edward. I let out a sigh as I close my eyes and listen to the comforting sound of his heartbeat.

I really like it the way that it is!!!

awwww YASSSSSSSSSSSSSS