I don’t want to see you tomorrow, never mind be around you. I don’t want to stand in the same room as you. And I’m tired of feeling like I’m being melodramatic or unreasonable because you haven’t done anything particularly condemning by the standards of others but everything about you reminds me of everything I’ve spent years compartmentalizing and coping with so I can move the fuck on.
I don’t want to be this skittish cat again. I don’t want you to have the power to retrogress me simply by being around you. I’ve come so far and it feels like it was all for nothing. It’s not fair that I spent all this time coping and you can just waltz in and take it all away from me and there’s nothing I can do about it and there’s no one I can talk to because this is how I chose for it to be.
I’m tired.
I don’t want to be this skittish cat again. I don’t want you to have the power to retrogress me simply by being around you. I’ve come so far and it feels like it was all for nothing. It’s not fair that I spent all this time coping and you can just waltz in and take it all away from me and there’s nothing I can do about it and there’s no one I can talk to because this is how I chose for it to be.
I’m tired.
April 8th, 2018 at 10:40am