There's nothing quite like feeling truly special but also grounded by the limitations of human earthliness (ie, not euphoric & ephemeral) by another person.
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No more of that "I'm ill so I ____ / I can't ____" bull shit for me.
I'm so done putting myself into a washing machine of feelings- thinking if I didn't properly express my fear/sadness at the time of its onset, that I have to sit in it until it explodes. I'm done with getting soggy in stale moments. I'm ready to move forward at every corner. Life is unpredictable and I have no mind except my own. The future is an idyllic illusion. I'm ready to have each moment in full and know myself so well that even if all the comforts of my life dropped away, I'd still have every layer of me to turn back to. I have symptoms of ptsd but fuck em bro, no more telling myself that it's okay to be destructive because there's a formal label for it. I'm gonna take care of myself in the right way.